Hello hello hello. Here's the next chapter for you guys. Thank you all for the feedback on the last chapter, I appreciate you taking the time to leave me your thoughts.
I hope you enjoy this one.
Chapter Fifty Six
Matt stepped out of the shower, a chill running through his body at the change in temperature as he reached for his towel. After quickly drying himself off, he wrapped the towel around his waist before turning back to face the shower, grabbing both his and Gabby's shampoo and conditioner, along with their soap and her razor, carrying the items towards the counter. Blowing out a sigh, he grabbed everything off the counter he knew they would need while in the hospital, Matt running through the mental list he'd made in the hour since he left Gabby. He knew it wouldn't be that big of a deal if he forgot one or two things, it wasn't like he was chained to the hospital and could never leave, but he didn't want to spend too much time away from Gabby if he could help it.
Once he'd gotten everything in a pile, Matt moved out into the bedroom, walking to the closet to grab a large duffel bag before heading back to the dresser. He wasn't sure exactly what he was packing, or how much of it he'd be taking with him, but he knew they wouldn't need much more than comfy clothes. Gabby had requested that he get her some of his t-shirts to wear, Matt making sure to grab enough for the both of them, along with a few pairs of the pajama shorts he knew she loved. But other than what Gabby had asked him to get her, he was sort of flying blind, so he just grabbed a few of her bigger sleep shirts, as well as some leggings. He made sure to pack clothes for him too, throwing in a pair of jeans and some joggers, Matt grabbing underwear and socks for both of them before zipping up the bag.
He knew Gabby would have some comments about his less than efficient packing methods, and how he pretty much just threw everything in there, but he wasn't too focused on that right now. His main concern was getting back to her, while not forgetting anything she'd specifically asked him to get.
Once he'd gotten all their clothes and toiletries together, he made sure to grab the extra things she'd requested, like her laptop, and all her vitamins along with his pain medication, Matt also grabbing the book he knew she was reading. Although she hadn't asked for that, he knew she'd like it, so he made sure to throw that in their bag as well.
When he'd completed his once over of the bedroom, he quickly changed into a pair of track pants and a t-shirt, wanting to be comfortable for the long night he knew was ahead of him. While he wasn't exactly sure how their first night in the hospital was going to go, Matt already knew he'd be spending more time making sure Gabby was alright than he would actually being able to sleep.
Just as he'd pulled his t-shirt over his head, he heard his phone ringing out in the kitchen, Matt blowing out a breath as he quickly hurried towards the device he knew he'd thrown in his shift bag. Getting to the bags he'd dumped on the counter, Matt rifled through it, quickly finding what he was looking for, his eyes widening in panic when he saw Antonio's contact on the screen.
"Is Gabby okay?" He asked as soon as he put the phone up to his ear.
"Matt?" Gabby spoke, Casey releasing a soft breath as he heard her voice, his heart rate slowly returning back to normal.
"Hey baby." He responded. "Everything alright?" He asked as he grabbed both their shift bags off the counter, taking them back to their room.
"I'm okay, I just wasn't sure if you were gonna be back soon." She replied, Matt beginning to unpack their work bags, knowing they wouldn't be needing these for awhile, and he didn't want their clothes to start getting musty.
"Yeah, I'm just finishing up at the apartment." He spoke, throwing their clothes in the hamper. "Stuff at the firehouse took me longer than I thought it would, I had to hand over some paperwork to Boden before I could leave, and then I took a shower when I got here but I'm about to head out, I just finished packing up everything."
"Sounds good."
"What about you, are you still feeling okay?" He asked, turning off the lights in the bedroom and bathroom before grabbing their things and heading for the kitchen.
"I am, just a little sleepy."
"Why don't you try and rest?" He suggested as he did one last sweep through the apartment, making sure everything was locked up and all the lights were off, as well as looking to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything obvious.
"I did, for a few minutes, but I couldn't stay asleep. I don't know, she's moving around a lot and since I can't really move much, it's hard to get comfortable." She told him, Matt frowning as he walked back to the counter, sliding Gabby's phone into his pocket so he wouldn't forget it.
"I'm sorry, babe." He murmured, slinging their bags over his shoulder and moving towards the back door. "I'm leaving the apartment right now, so I should be back soon. Maybe once I have a talk with our girl, she'll calm down a little." Matt spoke lightly, hoping his words brought a smile to her face.
"Yeah, maybe." She responded softly, Casey able to hear the exhaustion in her voice.
"Just close your eyes and try and sleep. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you until I get there?" He offered, but she quickly shot it down.
"No, I don't want you distracted while you're trying to drive. I'm okay."
"Alright, well I'll be there in a few minutes. I love you, both of you." He replied as he locked up the back door, heading for his truck.
"We love you, too."
Matt walked up to the door to Gabby's room, his steps slowing when he caught a glimpse of his wife, appearing to be sleeping soundly in her hospital bed. Moving as slowly and quietly as he could, Matt slid the glass door open, the noise catching Antonio's attention as the detective glanced towards him, flashing him a small smile.
Silently, Casey set their bags down on the ground, placing Gabby's laptop on the small dresser against the wall as Antonio got up from his seat. The older Dawson nodded at Casey, signaling the firefighter to follow him out into the hallway so they could talk and not disturb Gabby.
Matt followed him out of the room, slowly sliding the door back into place before turning to Antonio.
"How is she doing?" Matt asked first, Antonio drawing in a deep breath as he glanced back into the room, shaking his head.
"I think she's doing well, considering everything that's happened today… But I think she's more rattled than she's letting on." He admitted, Casey pursing his lips together tightly. "Just while you were gone, she fell asleep and woke up maybe five times, and each time it's like she woke up startled, like something had scared her."
"Yeah, that happened early…" Matt breathed out, shaking his head sadly. "Has she said anything to you?"
"She told me what happened, or what she could remember, but she didn't really say much about how she was dealing with it… Which isn't surprising. But I am worried."
"Yeah, me too." Casey responded. "I know it all just happened, and she's still shaken up from everything, but I hope once she's had some time to come to terms with everything, she'll want to talk about it… I don't want her trying to deal with this on her own."
"Well, if anyone can get her to open up, it's you." Antonio replied, Matt watching him closely. "I know you two have had some struggles with that, but she's never let anyone in the way she has with you. And I'm sure there's been times it hasn't felt like it, but she's always been that way; closed off to try and protect others."
"Yeah, I know she has. She's been that way since I met her, but she's gotten better about not carrying everything on her own. I know how independent she is makes it hard for her to accept help, but she's doing a lot better about opening up when she needs it... I know there's times she can handle things on her own, and I respect that. That was never my problem, it just felt like there were times when she clearly needed help and she was still pushing me away…" Matt breathed out, Antonio nodding understandingly. "And I know I'd get frustrated with her sometimes when she'd pull away from me, but I know that's just how she copes. It's how she's always coped, and sometimes I'd just push too hard."
"It was coming from a good place, though. Everyone, including Gabby, knows that."
"Yeah, I know. But I still made things harder than they needed to be… I guess I just never understood why sometimes she'd let me in and not others, especially considering how we used to always open up to each other. Even before we got together, she was one of my best friends and we'd always go to one another, and it was the same way when we first got together. But then after Shay died, it all just kind of changed. She started holding back from me a lot more, and, even with the break-up and everything, we got through it all, but part of me always felt like she wasn't completely letting me in anymore. And, looking back on it, I know she was just protecting herself. She lost Shay, we lost our baby, and then Louie, and then I almost died in that fire, she could've died when that parking garage collapsed… It was like we just kept getting hit over and over with the reality that everything you love can be taken from you in a split second, and part of her just shut down." Matt spoke sadly, shaking his head as he glanced back towards her. "A part of her never recovered after Shay, and I, admittedly, made all that worse. But things had gotten better, they were better between us for a long time… but then I got trapped in that factory fire, and I think she never really got past me saying goodbye to her… I think that stuck with her more than she realized, more than I ever realized." Matt spoke, Antonio nodding sadly. Both he and his father had seen first-hand how much that day destroyed his baby sister, and it was never a fun memory to relive.
"It was like she was keeping me at arms length since that fire, because she was scared something might happen to me." Casey continued, Antonio letting him vent. "That year after the fire, up until she left, things weren't great between us, and looking back on it, I think she was just scared to let me in. I think it all was just too much, and she reverted back into her old ways of doing everything on her own. I guess she thought that maybe it would help, if something happened to me... She told me before she left that she couldn't be dependent on me, but I can't help but think she was only doing that to protect herself, because that hadn't been a problem for her in the past... I just wish I would've realized that before it all blew up." He said, shaking his head as his mind caught up with his mouth. "I'm sorry, I don't even know where that came from… I didn't mean to lay all that on you."
"No, it's fine." Antonio was quick to assure him. "I mean, that's what we were talking about anyway, right? Not holding things in." The detective continued, Matt nodding softly as Antonio clasped him on the shoulder. "I know my sister has always tried to do things on her own before asking for help, but despite how independent she is, she relies on you more than anyone else. She always has." Antonio told him, Matt giving him a knowing nod. "And even though there's been some rough spots, and some times where I wasn't exactly happy with you, I really believe that you're the best thing to ever happen to my sister."
"She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, too." Matt responded without hesitation, Antonio smiling softly.
"I know she is, and that's why you two are gonna get through this, just like you've gotten through everything else that life's thrown your way. I'm telling you, I don't think there's anything that you two can't get through. There hasn't been yet. But you two are gonna need each other to get past this, Gabby's going to need you."
"I know. And I'm gonna be right here." Matt assured him, even though it didn't need to be said.
"Yeah, I know you will. Although I'm not sure how thrilled Gabby will be about that." Antonio joked to lighten the air around them, Matt chuckling softly. "But I think it's good you're staying here with her… After hearing what that son of a bitch did to her, I know this has gotta be hard for her, with all she's been through." Antonio spoke sadly, both men looking back into her room, seeing Gabby still sound asleep, her hands placed over her belly as she rested.
"I can't imagine what that was like, but I'm not gonna push her. The last thing she needs is me, or anyone, forcing her talk... I know I need to let her come to me when she's ready." Matt replied, the detective nodding.
"Yeah, cause she will." Antonio responded, Matt peeling his eyes from Gabby to look back towards his brother in law. "I know her memory is still a little hazy, but if she starts to remember more of what happened… I know that won't be easy."
"No, it won't." Matt agreed, his hands clenched at his sides, shaking his head softly. "...Is it wrong that I'm glad he's dead?" Antonio glanced to Matt with a raised brow, seeing the firefighter watching him expectantly. "That I felt- almost grateful when I heard he'd been killed?"
"No." Antonio replied quickly. "It's not wrong, in fact I'm right there with you. He's lucky he's dead, cause if I'd gotten my hands on him after what he did…" Antonio trailed off, shaking his head angrily. "He could've killed my sister, and my niece. He got off easy by getting shot." The detective spoke quietly, Matt nodding in understanding.
"Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel." Casey murmured, glancing back towards Gabby's room. He was surprised to see her shifting around in the bed, Matt watching as she slowly opened her eyes, looking around the room. "She's awake." Matt spoke, effectively halting their conversation as he opened the door, both men stepping inside.
Casey caught a flash of panic in her gaze as she glanced around the room, but it soon settled when she registered his presence, guilt flooding his body as he realized she was worried when she woke up alone.
"There's my girl." Matt spoke quietly, seeing a small smile come to Gabby's face as her body relaxed into the bed, Casey walking towards her. "How'd you sleep?" Matt leaned down to kiss her softly before taking up his position in the chair by her bed, Antonio standing in front of her.
"Okay, wish I'd slept longer though." She replied, her voice thick with exhaustion.
"You can go back to sleep, I'll be right here." He promised, Gabby nodding before she turned her attention to her brother, seeing him give her a soft smile.
"Thanks for coming by." She spoke, Antonio shaking his head as he walked around to the other side of her bed.
"No thanks necessary, I'm just glad you're okay." He replied, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head before pulling back. "But it's getting a little late," He spoke, glancing to the clock that read a quarter to six. Although it wasn't really late at all, after the day she'd had, she needed as much undisturbed rest as she could get. "I'm probably gonna get out of here, let you eat and get some sleep." He told her, Gabby nodding slowly, her movements hindered by the bandage over her neck.
"Will you be by tomorrow?"
"Of course." He responded without hesitation, squeezing her arm before heading for the door. "I love you, sis."
"Love you too." She responded softly, the detective flashing Casey a smile before walking out into the hallway, leaving the couple alone.
Matt focused his complete attention on her, smiling brightly as he met her eyes.
"Are you hungry?" He asked, Gabby nodding slowly.
"They're supposed to be bringing me food here soon, I think." She responded, holding out her hand, reaching for Matt's. He gave it to her willingly, Casey leaning forward to rest on the side of her bed, his free hand running over her belly, being mindful to not touch where she'd been hurt. "Did you get something to eat before you came back?" She questioned, seeing him shake his head.
"No, but I'm alright. I'm not really hungry right now, anyway." He responded.
"You gotta take care of yourself." She chastised softly, Matt flashing her a grin, bringing her hand up to his lips, kissing her skin gently.
"I am, but I'm just not hungry. I promise I can go and get a snack or something if I need to. But you don't need to be worrying about me." He told her just as the door opened, the couple seeing an orderly come in with her dinner, Matt standing up to take the tray from him. "I got it, thank you." He spoke, the man nodding before leaving the room, Matt bringing the food to her. "Let's see what we got here."
Gabby watched on with a soft grin as he placed her plate in front of her, pulling off the lid revealing some chicken, potatoes, and vegetables. "It actually doesn't look that bad." Gabby mused as Matt pushed the table towards her, not wanting her to have to move much.
"It looks great, now eat up." He spoke, filling her water cup before moving back to his seat, Gabby slowly digging into her food. It was pretty bland, but after having emptied the contents of her stomach a few hours earlier, the lack of flavor was actually welcome.
"So, what all did you bring me?" Gabby questioned, Matt looking up from her stomach to meet her eyes. "From the apartment?" She elaborated, realization settling over his face as he pushed himself up from the chair. "I didn't mean you had to show me now." She spoke with a laugh, Matt grinning as he shook his head.
"No, I know, but it just reminded me that I need to put away our stuff anyway." He responded, picking up their bag from the floor, placing it on top of her dresser. "It's mostly just comfy clothes, a lot of my shirts, as requested." He spoke, Gabby smirking before taking another bite of her dinner. "I grabbed all your shower stuff, and my stuff. Mostly just the essentials I thought we'd need." He told her, placing their folder clothes into the drawer.
"So… you're gonna be staying with me?"
Matt's eyebrows furrowed as he turned back towards her bed, seeing her hesitant eyes on him. In all the chaos of the day, they'd barely had a second to breathe, let alone have any time to really talk through everything. But he didn't think this was something that needed to be discussed. He wouldn't be going anywhere, not as long as she was here.
"Of course I am." He responded softly, turning his entire body to face her. "You didn't think I'd leave you here, did you?" He asked, leaning his body weight into the dresser, a sheepish look covering her scraped face.
"Well, no, I guess not. But I could be here a long time, I don't want you stuck in here just cause I am. And you've got work and everything to think about."
"If you're here, I'm here." He replied simply. "And I talked to Boden, I'm gonna be taking some time off."
"Matt…" She sighed, Casey pushing himself off the dresser, walking towards the bed.
"Gabby." He repeated, mimicking her tone as he stopped by her side. "I'm not going to work, not right now, not after everything today."
"You can't take off seven weeks of work, not when you're gonna need to take time off once she's born." She tried to reason, but Matt shook his head.
"For starters, we don't know if it'll be seven weeks. And two, however much time I need to take off, I'll take off. You and our girl are what's important, everything else is secondary." He told her, Gabby's face softening. "I'm not going anywhere, I wouldn't be able to focus at work right now anyway knowing that you were here alone, so I'm staying. And you're just gonna have to get over it." He spoke with a grin, Gabby scoffing lightly.
"I'm not gonna be able to change your mind, am I?"
"Nope." He replied quickly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before walking back to the dresser, wanting to finish unpacking their things.
"Fine." She said reluctantly, Matt smirking as his back was to her. "But if I do end up being here for awhile, we're talking about this again. As much as I love you for wanting to stay here with me, we're gonna have another talk about you going back to work."
"I can deal with that." He agreed, knowing better than to argue with her. Seeing as how there were so many unknowns with everything, there was no need for him to pick a fight with her over something that might not end up mattering. There was no way to know what their lives would look like in a few weeks, so Matt figured it best to just agree with whatever she wanted, at least for right now.
Gabby finished eating while Matt moved throughout the room, taking all their toiletries into the bathroom and getting them set up in there. For being a hospital room, everything was quite spacious, more so than he was expecting. Gabby's room was a decent size, and he was grateful for that. With the possibility of her being here a while, and at least for the next few weeks, he wanted her to be as comfortable as possible, even though she wouldn't be seeing anything other than these walls for a little bit.
"Did you get enough?" Matt asked as he came to sit back down beside her, seeing she'd only eaten a little more than half her food.
"Yeah, I'm full." She responded, taking a sip of her water. "But I'm feeling better." She added, Matt grinning softly.
"Good." He replied, pushing the table out of the way to give him an unobstructed view of her stomach, Matt resting his hand on top of her gown. "Is she still moving around a lot?"
"Not as much as when I was trying to sleep, but she definitely hasn't settled down yet." Gabby answered, Matt nodding as he slid to the edge of his chair, moving his head closer to her stomach. It wasn't the usual closeness he was used to when he'd talk to their daughter at home in bed, the distance, the hospital gown, and the fetal monitor all hindering his ability to be as close as he wanted, but under the circumstances it was more than enough. Their daughter was still here, and she was okay, that's what was important. "I think she missed you." Gabby murmured, resting her head back onto the pillow, Matt glancing to her as she tried to get comfortable.
"I missed her, too." He responded, rubbing gently over her belly, being extra careful to not press into her skin. "Hey little girl." He murmured, Gabby grinning as her eyes fell closed, focusing on the sound of Matt's voice. "I know today was a hard day, and I know you probably got scared, so did Mommy and Daddy." He spoke quietly, rubbing his thumb over Gabby's stomach. "But everything's fine. You're doing great, and while we can't wait to meet you, we need you to stay in there a little while longer. And, for now, it would really help your Momma out if you could sleep. She needs to rest, you both do, but she can't really move around to get comfortable, so we're gonna need your help little one." Matt spoke soothingly, feeling Gabby's body relax under his touch.
Glancing up to her, he saw her breathing begin to even out, Matt knowing she was close to falling asleep. Not wanting to disturb that, he continued his methodical movements over her belly, the action soothing her. Matt waited a good five minutes before pulling his hand back, seeing Gabby had fallen into a deep sleep. Moving as quietly as he could, he stood up from his seat, pushing the small table further away from Gabby before carefully pulling the sheets up over her body, watching as she subconsciously nuzzled into the material as he brought it up to rest over her chest.
With one last glance to make sure she was still asleep, Matt stepped away from her bed, moving towards the door to turn off the lights, the only light in the room pouring in from the hallway. Casey carefully slid the curtain around her bed closed, moving as slowly as possible to not make too much noise, Matt stopping once it was partially shut, only pulling it closed enough to block the light from hitting her bed.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, Matt came back to his spot beside the bed, angling his chair parallel to Gabby before he sat down. A grimace covered his face as the chair clicked when he reclined, but thankfully the noise hadn't woken her up. Matt settled down into the chair, reaching his arm out towards the bed and grabbing ahold of her hand, getting himself comfortable for the long night ahead.
He wasn't necessarily tired, but his body felt exhausted, like the events of today had finally caught up with him, and he knew it was in his best interest to sleep while he could. But he couldn't get his mind to shut off. He couldn't stop thinking about just how terrible today could've been.
Matt knew they got lucky. That, despite the issues with Gabby, they had gotten extremely lucky. Both Gabby and their girl are fine, but that could've easily not been the case. There were hundreds of ways today could've been so much worse.
But it wasn't. And Matt had to hold onto that. He couldn't focus on the what ifs of this, or it would drive him crazy.
Casey hadn't even realized he'd been dozing as he got lost in his head, until he heard the door slide open, Matt's head snapping up at the sound. His vision came into focus as he saw Maggie step around the curtain, a soft smile resting on her face.
"Hi, sorry, I didn't realize you were sleeping." She spoke quietly, Matt shaking his head.
"It's fine, I wasn't really." He whispered back, glancing to Gabby's sleeping form before turning back to the nurse. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine, I just came to see how she was doing."
"She's good, she ate her dinner and then fell asleep pretty soon after that." He explained, Maggie nodding as she stepped closer to the bed, looking at the monitors Gabby was attached to.
"Do you want a cot? I know that chair isn't the most comfortable." She offered, Matt's eyes focusing on Gabby.
"Uh, I think I'm okay for tonight. I don't want to leave her side." Matt responded, Maggie nodding knowingly as she walked back towards the exit.
"Alright, I just wanted to check. But I'll probably have one sent in tomorrow. I know she's gonna be here awhile, and I'm not sure if you're planning on staying here with her the entire time-"
"I am." Matt cut in. "She doesn't love the idea, but I am."
"Well, then I'll definitely have them bring a cot in sometime tomorrow. That chair can only be comfortable for so long." She responded with a grin, Matt nodding thankfully.
"Thanks Maggie." He spoke quietly.
"It's nothing. I'll leave you two alone, I hope you get some rest." She said, Matt nodding before she disappeared around the curtain, the room returning to its former silence.
Drawing in a deep breath, Matt glanced back to Gabby, seeing her still soundly asleep beside him, her body angled towards him as her head rested on the pillow. Once he had reassurance that she was still peacefully resting, Matt finally allowed himself to relax, Casey's head lulling towards her as he stopped fighting against his exhaustion, the firefighter falling asleep within minutes.
Matt grimaced as he slowly came out of his state of unconsciousness, his ears filled with the sound of Gabby's heart monitor, the rhythmic thumping the only noise in the room. Blinking tightly, Matt let out a yawn as he regained more of his senses, feeling a dull ache in his back from the position he'd been in for however long he'd been resting.
He wasn't sure what time it was, or how long he'd been asleep as he opened his eyes, the room bathed in complete darkness. Instinctively, he looked to Gabby, unable to see much in the pitch black room, but as far as he could tell she was still asleep, Matt able to see her chest moving up and down steadily. Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, he put the chair back into its upright position, dropping her hand as he stood up, wanting to stretch out his legs.
"Matt?"
Hearing her say his name surprised him, Matt frowning as he heard the almost pleading tone to her voice. He didn't even realize she'd been awake, but it was clear she was, and she sounded upset.
"Hey, I'm here." He assured her, reaching behind her bed and turning on the light over her head, his frown deepening when he saw the tear tracks down her cheeks, her eyes shining back at him. "What's wrong? Are you in pain? Does something hurt?" His sleep-filled voice was frantic, Gabby shaking her head as she reached out for him, Matt grabbing a hold of her hand with both of his as he placed himself on the edge of the bed. "What's going on?"
"I can't stop seeing his face." She murmured, Matt's eyes falling closed as he released a heavy breath.
"Gabby…"
"I can't stop thinking about it, about him grabbing me, and him holding the knife to my throat." Fresh tears were slipping down her skin, her voice unsteady as Matt gave her hand another firm squeeze. "...He wouldn't let me go." She whimpered, her gaze locking on his. "He saw that I was pregnant and he- he smiled, like he knew he could use that to his advantage. And he just kept holding onto me so tight, I felt like I couldn't breathe."
Anger coursed through Casey's body as he listened to her, his throat clenching in rage as he tried to keep his emotions under control for her sake.
"I'm sorry, Gabby." He whispered, sliding himself closer to her. "I'm so sorry this happened."
"It felt like I was there." She whimpered, Matt's eyebrows furrowing as he reached out towards her face, gently lifting her chin.
"What do you mean?"
"It felt like I was back there, in Puerto Rico, the night I was-" She cut herself off, Matt feeling his heart sink into his stomach as her bottom lip quivered. "I tried not to think about it, I tried so hard but I couldn't help it and it's like I was right back there again."
"Gabby-"
"He kept holding me tighter and it felt like that night all over again, all I could think about was them pinning me to the ground, how it felt like I was going to die." Her words were choppy, tears filling Casey's eyes as he stroked his thumb over her jaw. "I tried so hard to not think about it, I tried Matt, but I couldn't stop it." She choked out, Matt shaking his head sadly.
"Baby, it's okay." He replied, Gabby swallowing back a sob. "It's okay."
"I was so scared." She whispered, a lone tear escaping down his cheek. "And thinking about the attack just made it so much worse. I thought I was past it, that I was over everything but when that happened it was like all that progress was gone, like I was right back where I was when I came home… I tried to not let it get to me, I tried to remember where I was and that I was in Chicago, with you, and what happened wasn't like Puerto Rico, but it was hard. And now it's all I can think about, I can't get it out of my head, but I just want to be over it." She rambled, her emotions winning out as a rough sob escaped through her lips, her body trembling as she cried.
Matt instinctively leaned towards her, Gabby falling into his chest as her head pressed into his neck, her body shaking in his arms. His heart broke as he listened to her cries, Matt rubbing her back gently as he gave her time to release every emotion she'd been holding onto since this happened.
"It's okay, Gabby." He murmured, Gabby hiccuping as Matt pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I know you were scared, and there's nothing wrong with that." He reassured her, hearing her sniffle against his neck.
Knowing the position she was in wasn't the most comfortable, Matt slowly leaned them back, letting Gabby rest on the bed. He pulled away to adjust his body, but Gabby gripped onto him before he could get very far, her desperate action sending a stabbing pain through his chest. "I'm not going anywhere." He promised, Gabby loosening her grip after a moment so he could turn around, Matt sitting on the edge of her bed beside her, Gabby falling into his side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Even though he was mostly hanging off the bed, this was preferable to the position they'd just been in, knowing it was much easier on Gabby.
"I would give anything for this not to have happened." He spoke quietly, Gabby resting her head on his shoulder as tears endlessly streamed down her face. "I wish it was me, or that I'd been there and could've stopped it. I wish you never went through that, but what you're feeling right now, it's okay Gabby. What happened to you was scary, and it reminded you of what you went through last year… But that doesn't make you weak. You went through something horrible, what happened to you in Puerto Rico was a nightmare, and it'll always be there. It's not something you'll be able to forget. You move on from it, but that doesn't mean you can pretend it didn't happen." He told her, Gabby nodding against his shoulder. "I truly believe you've accepted what happened to you, I think you've gotten past it. But something like this, that's gonna bring back some memories of that day. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
Matt held onto her as they fell into a comfortable silence, Gabby sniffling occasionally as Matt moved his free hand to her belly, holding onto her gently.
"I love you, baby. I love you so much." Matt murmured, resting his head down on the top of hers. "And it's all gonna be alright, everything will be fine. But it's okay that it's not right now. What happened to you yesterday was terrifying, and it's something we'll need time to deal with before you're okay. But until then, I'm here. Whatever you need, I'm right here." He promised, Gabby nodding slowly.
"I love you." She spoke quietly, Matt smiling softly before pressing multiple kisses to the top of her head.
"Try and go back to sleep." He encouraged after a few seconds, Gabby nuzzling herself against him to make herself comfortable. "I'll be right here."
Matt stayed as quiet as possible over the next few minutes, his breathing steady as he hoped to lull her back to sleep. She needed as much rest as possible, and despite it not being the most comfortable position for him, hanging halfway off the bed, he'd stay here as long as she needed if it would help her sleep.
Gabby's confession of what had been going on in her head broke his heart, but now that the shock had worn off, he knew he shouldn't have been surprised that the events of yesterday had reminded her of her attack. Although they weren't exactly the same, hearing about how she'd been grabbed roughly and held against her will, it would bound to bring back those unpleasant memories, and he hated it. He hated that she'd gotten attacked, he hated what had happened to her yesterday, and he hated that yet again, he hadn't been there to stop it.
Logically, he knew neither of those events were his fault. Even though he held onto so much guilt for what happened to her while she was away, deep down he knew there was nothing he could've done, but it didn't make him feel any better knowing that she'd gotten hurt and he wasn't there to help her. He was supposed to protect her, and he couldn't.
Gabby Dawson was the last person who needed a man, or anyone, to be her knight in shining armor. She could take care of herself, he knew that, but there were times where there were aspects outside of her control. Times where had he been there, the outcome would've been much different. If he was with her in Puerto Rico, the attack might've never happened. If he had been on that call yesterday, maybe he could've stopped that man from grabbing her. Had he been around, those two things probably never would have happened, and a small part of him would always feel guilty for that.
"What are we gonna do if I'm here for seven weeks?"
Gabby's soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts, Matt's eyebrows furrowing as he glanced down towards her, surprised to see she was still awake. Although he did feel a little bit of relief hearing she sounded much less upset than she had moments ago.
"I thought I told you to sleep." He replied lightly, Gabby rolling her eyes even though he couldn't see her.
"I can't stop thinking about all this."
"Baby, you need to rest." He responded, Gabby releasing a heavy sigh.
"I know, but what are we gonna do if I'm actually stuck in here until we have our girl?" She asked, Matt's head tilting to the side.
"What do you mean?"
"We can't be here until she's born, there's still so much we have to do." She breathed out, Matt shaking his head.
"It'll get done. We have most of what we need already, we have most of the necessities, it'll all be fine." He assured her, Gabby drawing in a deep breath. "Maybe in the next few days, we can take some time, make a list of everything we still need and I can go and get it. But you just need to focus on resting."
"Yeah, I know… it's just hard, knowing I'm most likely stuck here."
"I know it is, but it's what we have to do. For your safety and for our baby girl, we need to be here." He reminded her, Gabby nodding softly. "Hopefully we'll be able to get you home for a bit before she gets here, but even then you wouldn't be able to go out and do anything anyway. Whatever else we need to get for our girl, I'll handle it. I don't want you to worry."
"I'm about to be a mom, all I'm gonna do is worry." She spoke, Matt smiling softly.
"You already are a mom." He responded, pressing a kiss to her head. "You're already an amazing mom to our girl." He told her, Gabby grinning softly as her eyes fell closed.
"And you're already an amazing dad." She replied, focusing on the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her. "Also, it might we time for us to start thinking about picking a name from the few we decided on, instead of us calling her 'our girl' forever."
"Yeah, we can do that. But for now, just rest." He spoke softly, Gabby nodding before relaxing into him, sleeping overcoming her in just a few short minutes.
Casey woke up to the feeling of incessant buzzing in his pocket, a soft groan escaping his lips as he slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the light filling the room. Drawing in a deep breath, Matt blindly felt around until he found his pocket, pulling his phone out and glancing to the screen, seeing Kelly's name through his unfocused vision.
"Sev?" He whispered after he put the phone up to his ear, glancing down to see Gabby sound asleep in his arms, her head resting against his chest.
"Hey sorry, were you asleep?"
"Give me a second." Matt responded quietly, grimacing as he slowly moved off the bed, holding onto Gabby's head until it was resting on her pillow. His body was clearly angry at him for the position he slept in, Matt having fallen asleep with his body hanging off the bed, his foot balancing himself against the ground all night. He didn't even remember falling asleep after his and Gabby's talk, but clearly he never made it back to his chair like he'd planned.
Shaking out his tingling limbs, Matt slowly walked out of the room, stretching out his back once he got into the hallway.
"Okay, sorry I'm here. I didn't want to wake up Gabby." He spoke up, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.
"It's fine, I figured you'd be awake, but I should've waited until later to call."
"You're good, what's up?"
"Just got off shift, wanted to check in and see how you guys were doing."
"It was a long night, but we're hanging in there." Matt replied vaguely. "How'd the rest of shift go?"
"It was pretty busy, we had a lot of calls. Probably for the best, everyone was really shaken up after everything with Dawson, so the distraction was good." Severide replied.
"Yeah, it probably was."
"So… I really was just calling to see if either of you needed anything? I know you don't wanna leave her, so I just wanted to check and make sure."
Matt thought over his request for a moment, his mind going back to his conversation with Gabby last night, a thought hitting him suddenly. "Uh, actually there is something you could do for me, if you don't mind."
"Name it." Severide replied without hesitation, Matt taking another step away from Gabby's room.
"Would you mind stopping by the apartment?"
"Sure, what do you need?"
"I need you to get Gabby's anxiety medication."
Kelly went silent on the other line for a moment, Matt swallowing thickly.
"Uh, yeah… sure. I didn't know Gabby had those."
"She does, since everything in Puerto Rico…" Casey trailed off, clearing his throat before continuing. "But they're in our medicine cabinet in the bathroom. They should be on the bottom shelf, they're the only pill bottle there so they shouldn't be hard to find."
"No, yeah I'm sure I can find them… Is she alright?"
"She is, everything from yesterday is just bringing up a lot of memories, so I want to have them if she needs them."
"I get it. Do you need anything else?"
"Could you grab the blanket from the back of the couch? Gabby loves it, and I think it might help make her more comfortable."
"Yeah, of course. I'll grab that stuff and stop by."
"Okay, thanks Kelly And, uh, could you just call me when you get here, and I'll come meet you in the hallway?"
"That's fine…" Kelly replied slowly, Matt clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Is Dawson not allowed to see anyone, or does she not want to?"
"...She doesn't want to." Matt answered, hearing his friend sigh softly. "I think it's a combination of things, but it's been a rough twenty four hours, and I think she just needs time before she's comfortable with a lot of people around."
"No, I get it. Whatever she needs is what we'll do."
"Thanks Sev… I'll see you soon." He responded, waiting for his friend's goodbye before heading back into Gabby's room, thankful to see his wife still sound asleep.
Matt stepped out of the bathroom with a soft grin on his face, his smile only widening when he saw the scowl resting over Gabby's features.
"How was your shower?" She asked bitterly, Matt chuckling softly as he walked towards her bed.
"It was great, thank you for asking." He responded lightly, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, Matt feeling her face scrunch up underneath his touch.
"You're getting water on me." She spoke, Matt smirking as he pulled back, seeing the water droplets from his freshly washed hair on her face.
"I'm sorry." He responded, kissing her again quickly before walking over towards the dresser, placing his dirty clothes in the duffle bag.
It was their third day in the hospital, and Casey had yet to leave Gabby's side, except for the times he would take some walks around the hospital to stretch his legs, or get something to eat. And, surprisingly enough, Gabby had been handling everything much better than he anticipated. He wasn't sure if she was just too tired to fight it too hard, or if she knew it was her only option, but she'd been handling her limited mobility pretty well. There were times she got frustrated, and would make a harsh comment or two, but overall she'd been doing okay with the circumstances. At least for now, she has seemed to accept this was what she had to do, and she was dealing with the adjustment well.
"I'll probably have to go home either tomorrow or the next day, to do some laundry. Do you have any requests?" Matt asked, turning around to face her.
"Hmm, maybe another book? I'll be finished with this one here soon. I don't care which one, just something from the bookshelf."
"I can do that." He responded, moving back to her side, his eyes tracing over her form.
In the days since the accident on call, Gabby's body had definitely shown more signs of the trauma she experienced. Her right cheek had swelled up a little bit more from where her face had hit the rail, and a large bruise had accompanied the swelling. The scrape over the left side of her face had started to heal, which Matt was thankful for, considering he knew how uncomfortable it made her.
The rest of her body was covered in discolored patches of skin as well, Matt knowing that there was more of her body that was bruised than not. Her stomach was probably the most alarming, Matt remembering the shock he felt when he caught his first glimpse of the dark purple bruising over her skin. Her fall down the stairs had really left its mark, but luckily all her injuries would heal. It would just take a while.
But the injury he hated the most were the cuts on her neck. Yesterday evening had been the first time Matt got a good look at them, the slashes having healed enough to where she didn't need to keep them covered. While he was glad she was healing, selfishly, he wished they were still covered. Seeing the jagged cuts across her neck made his blood boil, while simultaneously making him feeling like he was about to break down. It was just another physical reminder of how careless that man had been with Gabby's life, and it left a sinking feeling in his stomach. Matt could make out at least three different cuts across her skin, and he couldn't help but feel grateful that that crazy man hadn't pressed in any deeper.
"Do you know what time Dr. Tanner's coming today?" He asked as he met her eyes, Matt sitting back down in his chair as Gabby kicked the blankets off of herself, letting them bunch up at the end of her bed.
"Should be here soon." She responded, moving her hand over her bump, avoiding the fetal monitor that had to stay on Gabby's body, Matt's shirt doing a decent job of covering it. After her first night here, she'd insisted on changing into one of Matt's shirts and a pair of her pajama shorts, and she'd been in that same outfit since. She'd changed once, but the concept was the same, Matt knowing it's what she was most comfortable in. "Hopefully nothing has changed." Gabby spoke, Matt nodding knowingly.
Dr. Tanner had been to visit Gabby every single day, checking in on both her and the baby, and the previous two days had been slightly encouraging for the couple, the doctor assuring them that nothing with Gabby's condition had changed. She still wasn't in labor, she hadn't had any more bleeding, and their little girl was still healthy and active. Everything was looking good, for both Gabby and the baby, and it had raised their spirits significantly.
"We'll get an update soon enough, but I'm sure everything's fine." Matt told her, glancing back as the door opened, seeing an orderly bringing in Gabby's breakfast. "But right now, all I want you focused on is eating." He told her as her food was placed in front of her, Matt flashing her a smile.
"I can do that." She replied with a grin, Matt grabbing the remote from her bed to find them something to watch while she ate.
"Any updates on Dawson?"
Kelly looked up from his bowl of cereal as Brett walked into the room full of firefighters, the paramedic stopping in the doorway.
"According to Severide, Casey says she's just been sleeping mostly." Kidd spoke up, all eyes in the room turning to look at him, the Lieutenant nodding in agreement.
"I talked to him last night, nothing's changed. The baby is still doing good, Gabby's alright, she hasn't gotten any worse, which is I guess what they're hoping for." Kelly elaborated, earning a few nods from his coworkers. "Things sound like they're going as well as they can."
"Good, that's good."
"Is she still not wanting to see anyone?" Herrmann questioned, Severide drawing in a deep breath.
"Yeah, I think so… Casey hasn't told me any different, so I'm guessing nothing's changed."
"Why doesn't she want to see you guys?"
Severide stifled an eye roll when Garcia spoke up, the temporary Captain sitting in the corner of the room. When members of second shift came in this morning and found Garcia would be the one filling in for Casey, no one was excited to see the Captain back in their house, especially considering there was no way to know how long he'd be here.
"She's been through a lot the last few days." Severide replied sharply, Garcia meeting his eyes. "She needs some time to deal with everything." His rough words were met with a simple nod from Garcia, the man not pushing any further.
"Hopefully she'll be up for visitors soon." Brett responded, shaking her head. "I feel so terrible, I wish this never happened."
"Yeah, we all do." Herrmann breathed out. "But it's not your fault, there was no way to know any of that would happen."
"No, I know, I just feel awful. I know all of this could've been so much worse, but I hate that she's stuck in the hospital. I don't know, I wish Foster and I had pushed harder to make sure she went back to the ambulance, or done more for this not to have happened."
"Dawson's a big girl." Garcia spoke up, all eyes moving towards him. "You don't need to hold her hand and keep her from putting her baby's life in danger."
His words hung in the air, eyes narrowing on the temporary Captain.
"Are you saying this is her fault?" Herrmann asked roughly, Garcia shrugging.
"The psycho holding a knife to her throat and pushing her down the steps? No, not really her fault. But she never should've been in that position in the first place. I bet she regrets working so long now."
"It sounds like you're saying she asked for this." Foster spoke with narrowed eyes.
"Jeez, I forgot how sensitive the topic of Dawson is around here…" Garcia breathed out, shaking his head. "All I'm saying is maybe next time she'll think more about the well-being of her kid than her own desire to keep working."
Multiple members of 51 opened their mouths to push back against Garcia, but none got the chance as the bells rung throughout the house, calling everyone to a car accident. Despite their focuses shifting into work mode, Severide didn't bother to stop himself from glaring harshly at the Captain, his eyes burning holes into the back of the man's head as they headed for their rigs.
Severide knew Casey was where he needed to be, that he had to be with Gabby for the time being. But that wouldn't stop him from hoping Casey would be back sometime soon, Kelly knowing if Garcia kept this attitude up, Severide couldn't promise he wouldn't deck him.
And there's another chapter, hopefully you all liked it. One thing I've really enjoyed about writing this story is getting to portray Dawsey how they always were, before the writers ruined them. They had so much love for each other, and cared about each other so much, it's been nice to relive that, in a sense, through writing this.
(The bold-italic turned into an unexpected, and quite long Dawsey rant just because the entire situation still annoys me, so if you don't care about any of that feel free to skip it.)
As some of you know, I don't watch the show anymore, and I don't really consider myself apart of the Chicago Fire fandom anymore, which honestly is probably for the best because from what I can tell, it's been taken over by people who hate Gabby. I've seen so many people talking about how terrible Gabby was, how she never loved Matt, how she never really cared about him or their relationship, and it's only gotten worse with all the Brett/Casey stuff, and it's frustrating because, for starters, Gabby is my favorite character in the world, but also I just do not see how people can watch the first six seasons of this show and claim Gabby didn't completely and utterly love him. Like, this is the woman who'd been in love with him pre-series, there wasn't an episode that aired where you could say she didn't love him. I just hate that the writers lost sight of that. They lost sight of both Gabby and Matt towards the end of season six, all because they wouldn't take the time to properly write Monica out. And I think a part of me will always be resentful for that, because all it did was give those fans who despised Gabby even more of a reason to hate her, and made some people who had liked Gabby start to dislike her. The writers essentially spent season six turning Gabby into the bad guy, and by the time it was all said and done so many people hated her. I just hate that Gabby was made out to be the villain, and I wish Dawsey got an ending that did justice to their relationship, because the one given to them on the show didn't. These two people loved each other more than anything, that was obvious. Even when they'd be bickering/arguing/fighting/etc, you could always see just how much love was between them, and then Dawsey and Gabby really got tossed aside like they were nothing, and I think it'll always hurt. Their relationship and Gabby as a character deserved much better than what they got, and I'll always be annoyed at how Dawsey was written towards the end, because there's no way in hell those two people would give up as easily as they did. Gabby would never abandon him, and Matt would never not go with her. The entire storyline should've been handled much better than it was.
I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant, I've just been feeling so sad about Dawsey lately, especially because it's like all I see now are people talking about how terrible their relationship was and it's upsetting. Dawsey meant the absolute world to me, and I hate seeing their entire relationship, and Gabby, getting torn to shreds all because the writers were too lazy to give Dawson a proper send off, one that made more sense for the character and the relationship. And we all know had Monica chosen to stay, season 6 would've played out much differently, and Dawsey would still be happily together right now, most likely with a baby. If viewers paid any attention at all, how much they love each other was never in question. I just wish the writer's hadn't spent nearly an entire season trying to ruin that.
Okay, rant over. I'm sorry, I've just been seeing way too much Dawson/Dawsey hate lately and it's been bothering me. (I know it's been like a year and a half and I need to just get over it, trust me I'm trying.) But I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Gabby and Matt are trying to get used to life at the hospital, while Garcia is back at 81 for the time being, which some of you actually guessed, but someone's gotta cover for Casey while he's with Gabby, right?
One thing I do want to mention is that I've kind of been getting mixed reactions about what you guys want from this story lately, but I want you to know that I'm trying my best to give you all what you want to see. It's just sometimes hard when I'm getting a bunch of conflicting things, you know? But the main thing I saw was a lot of you were wanting a time jump, which I was planning on doing. Day by day of a lot of time in the hospital wouldn't be fun for me to write, and I know it wouldn't be fun to read. But, anyway, I do appreciate all your feedback, positive and negative. I just hope you all know that I read every single review and I take your criticisms to heart, because at the end of the day this story is for you guys, and I want you all to enjoy it. I do try and take into account what you all ask for and want from this story, and try and do less of the things you all don't like so much. I know I'm the writer, but you all are very much involved in this as well and I take what you all suggest very seriously, I just want you to know that.
Anyway, now that I've sufficiently bored you all to death with what was probably the longest authors note ever, I want to thank you guys so much for reading. All of the support you guys have given me on this story means the world to me. I wouldn't have been able to keep this going for so long if not for all of you who read my work, so thank you for that.
P.S. (since I haven't said enough already) I promise the chapters won't continue to be so painful, I appreciate you all sticking with me.