Hello everyone!
Thanks for coming back for another chapter, I hope you all like this one.
Chapter Sixty Two
"Are you sure it's not too soon for this?" Matt asked as he held Sofia in his arms, Gabby sending him another glare as she got the small tub positioned in the sink, the new mom beginning to run the water.
"If you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna hit you." She mumbled, Matt raising his eyebrows as he gently bounced Sofia in his arms.
"Sof, your Momma's mad at me." He murmured against the little girl's head, Gabby turning back to look at him.
"Because you won't stop second guessing me!" She snapped, Matt's eyes widening slightly in surprise at her tone, Gabby not having registered it either until after the words left her mouth. Blowing out a sigh, Gabby's eyes fell closed as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted." She responded softly, Matt frowning as he moved the hand resting on Sofia's chest to Gabby's back, moving his arm up and down.
"It's alright, I know you're tired." He responded, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head, pulling her into his side. She only stayed there for a moment, needing to lean forward to turn the water off, Matt returning his hand to Sofia.
Gabby checked the temperature of the water while Matt looked over everything on the counter, making sure they weren't forgetting anything as they prepared to give Sofia her first bath. She had been given a sponge bath during her time in the hospital, but this was her first real, actual bath, and it was a big milestone for the new parents.
They'd been home for a few days now, Sofia now approaching the almost three week old mark, that being something she'd hit in the next couple of days, and it was finally time to give their girl a bath. Matt was a little hesitant, as he'd been with most new things when it came to Sofia, but he was also excited, and he couldn't wait to experience this with his two girls.
After submerging her wrist in the shallow water, Gabby confirmed that the water was just right before looking up to Matt. "Alright, it's ready." She told him, Matt nodding before he carefully placed Sofia down on the thick towel resting on the countertop, the fluffy material giving her little body plenty of cushion.
"It's bath time, little girl." He spoke excitedly, tickling his fingers over her stomach, the action causing Sofia to wave her arms around haphazardly as unintelligible noises escaped her lips. Matt began unbuttoning her onesie, carefully removing the clothing from his daughter, Sofia immediately fussing when the air hit her skin. "I know, baby, you hate being cold. You get that from your Momma." He muttered, beginning to remove her diaper, Matt grimacing when he saw she'd gone to the bathroom again, even though he'd just changed her less than half an hour ago. "Oh, well thank you for that, I appreciate it so much." He joked, rubbing over stomach before getting her cleaned up, the baby soon completely bare.
Carefully picking her up, Matt slowly placed Sofia down in the tub sitting in the sink. He wasn't even sure where they had gotten this; if Gabby had picked it up or if it had been a gift, but this little baby tub was perfect, and in this moment he was thankful they had it, the tub allowing Sofia to be positioned just right.
The second her body hit the water, she let out an ear-piercing scream, the little girl unsure of what was going on, the new sensation confusing and scaring her. Matt started to pick her up, but Gabby quickly scolded him, making him put her back in.
"She's fine, Matt, it's just something different. Once she gets used to it, it'll be okay." Gabby spoke, Matt nodding as he reluctantly sat her back in, hating to hear his daughter's cries.
"It's okay, Sofia." He spoke soothingly, rubbing his hand over her stomach, Gabby slowly introducing the water to her body, cupping a small amount in her hands and letting it run down Sofia's skin.
"See? That's not so bad, is it baby?" She murmured, grabbing one of the small washcloths they'd gotten, submerging it in the warm water before placing it over Sofia's stomach, not wanting her to get cold.
Grabbing a second washcloth, Gabby began the process of washing Sofia, the girl slowly becoming accustomed to the water she was barely sitting in. Gabby began with her face, gently cleaning their daughter as she slowly moved down her little body. Soon enough, Sofia had completely forgotten her earlier reaction to the water, the small baby having a great time as she kept herself entertained with Matt's finger, Casey keeping her head propped up while Gabby bathed her.
As Gabby worked, Matt occasionally pulled his hand away from Sofia, slowly pouring a little bit of water over her body to keep her warm, the new parents seamlessly falling into a rhythm together.
"Alright, time to wash her hair." Gabby spoke, the two carefully trading off as Gabby cradled their baby's head, Matt putting a small amount of baby shampoo in Gabby's hand. She carefully began rubbing the shampoo into Sofia's soft hair with the pads of her fingers, the little girl enjoying the head massage she was getting.
"Well, you were right, she definitely loves baths." Casey spoke with a chuckle, Gabby flashing him a small smile before focusing on her task, Matt pouring a little bit more water over Sofia's body.
They wanted to take the time to enjoy this moment, Matt taking every opportunity to snap a few pictures, but they also knew they couldn't keep her in here much longer, the parents not wanting to risk the water getting too cold.
"Can you rinse the shampoo out?" Gabby asked, Matt nodding as he carefully poured water over her head, Gabby shielding Sofia's eyes as Matt got all the soap off of her. When they were both sure she was completely clean, he grabbed the small towel they'd gotten for Sofia, Gabby lifting their baby out of the bath and placing her in Matt's awaiting arms, the father wrapping his little girl up tightly.
"See, that wasn't so bad now was it?" He spoke, supporting Sofia's head as he held her, the little girl watching her father.
As much as he was loving this time with her, he also knew she was still wet, and the last thing they needed was her getting sick again. So Matt carefully sat her back down on the thick towel, drying off her body, making sure he'd gotten all the water off before he put a fresh diaper on her.
"Are you okay to get this cleaned up?" Gabby asked, Matt looking back towards her, seeing her gripping the edges of the counter, her body reeking of exhaustion.
"Yeah, yeah of course." Matt responded almost immediately, a soft frown forming over his face. "Are you alright?" He questioned as he slid Sofia's small legs into her outfit.
"I'm fine, just tired… I think I was standing too long." She replied, Matt's eyes quickly raking over her form. "I'm feeling kind of sore, I just need to lie down for a bit." She finished, Matt giving her an immediate nod. Although she'd been progressing in her recovery, there were still times when her body hurt her, especially on days she overdid it. And Matt was assuming today was one of those days.
"Go lay down, yeah." Matt was quick to respond, not liking her body language at the moment as he got Sofia's arms into the clothing, the newborn not very willing to be restrained. "Do you need me to get you anything?"
"No, no I'm okay, I think if I can get a quick nap I'll feel better." She spoke, rubbing over his arm before walking away from their sink, Matt focusing his attention back on Sofia, his frown immediately deepening.
He recognized that look on his daughter's face, her mouth opening and closing as her head nuzzled to the side. Sofia was hungry, which only meant one thing; Gabby's nap would have to wait.
"Wait, babe-" He called, glancing back to see her stop in the doorway.
"Hmm?"
"I think she's hungry."
He saw the exact moment her face fell, Gabby sighing as she rubbed her hand over the side of her face, her other arm cradling her stomach. "Yeah, okay- um, I guess can you bring her to the nursery for me?"
"Yeah, of course." He responded as he clasped the last button on Sofia's outfit. "But if you want to rest, I can always give her some of the milk you froze, so you can get some sleep." He offered, missing the way her eyes narrowed.
"That's for emergencies." She snapped quickly, Matt taking a deep breath as he held his tongue. "I can take care of my own daughter, Matt."
"I know you can." He responded immediately, his eyes narrowed in confusion, unsure of where this sudden hostility was coming from. "You're an amazing mother, I've never doubted that." Gabby's gaze softened, the woman taking a slow breath before she nodded, her hand rubbing over her stomach.
"If you can just bring her to me when you're done." She spoke softly, Matt giving her a nod.
"I will." He responded simply, not wanting to risk any further argument as Gabby changed her direction, heading through the apartment to the nursery.
Focusing back on his daughter, Matt smiled when he saw Sofia looking up at him with wide eyes, oblivious to the tension that had settled in the apartment. "You ready to eat, little girl?" Although she had no idea what was being said, Sofia waved her arms around at the sound of her father's voice, Matt's smile widening as he carefully picked her up. Cradling Sofia to his chest, Matt began moving through the apartment, his little girl smacking her arms against him as he carried her to the nursery, the newborn getting restless as she wanted to eat. "I know, I know, you're hungry." He murmured as he walked into the nursery, seeing Gabby already waiting in the glider.
Since the family had been home, Gabby quickly found out that the chair they'd gotten for Sofia's nursery was by far the most comfortable place to nurse their daughter. If you asked Gabby, it was the most comfortable piece of furniture in the apartment. It gave both Gabby and Sofia the support they needed during long feedings, and, unless it was in the middle of the night, Gabby preferred to nurse in here whenever she could. Even though the room was kind of out of the way from everything else, and Sofia wasn't even sleeping in here, Gabby liked nursing in here, and it was a good way to slowly get their daughter acclimated to the room that would eventually become her own.
"See? There's your Momma." Matt spoke, flashing his wife a soft smile, Gabby reciprocating the action with a small smile of her own as Matt handed Sofia over, neither one of them mentioning the previous moment in the kitchen.
"There's my girl." Gabby said, adjusting Sofia in her arms as she lifted up her shirt, that happened to be Matt's, guiding her daughter to her breast, Sofia beginning to eagerly feed. Both Sofia and Gabby had gotten into a good rhythm when it came to breastfeeding, the mother and daughter having done it frequently enough now that it was second nature to both of them. Sofia didn't know much in her short few weeks on earth, but feeding was one thing she had mastered, the little girl always enjoying the time spent with her mom while she ate.
Gabby, on the other hand, was having a harder time. She loved this time she got with Sofia, she absolutely did. Bonding with her daughter had been incredible, and she wouldn't have traded these moments for anything, but it was hard.
She'd been excited to breastfeed since long before Sofia was born, but she wasn't naive enough to think it would be nothing but a wonderful way to bond with her daughter. She'd heard horror stories, she knew it would be hard work. But she hadn't expected it to be this difficult. She wasn't prepared for how drained it made her feel, physically and emotionally.
When she felt this way in the hospital, she'd hoped it would pass when they got home. That it was just her being cooped up in the small hospital room that had left her feeling a bit down, and once she got back into her own home, she'd stop feeling this way. But that hadn't been the case. If anything, it had only gotten worse.
She didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't know why she couldn't just enjoy every single moment with her daughter, especially when she almost lost this chance altogether, but she couldn't help it. This was hard, having a person be completely dependent on you was a difficult thing. She didn't feel like herself, she didn't even feel like a person most days. When she sat down and really thought about it, she could usually get the feeling to pass. All she had to do look at her beautiful baby girl, and she'd remember just how lucky she was to be here. But it never completely went away. She could quiet it down, but it always came back, and she didn't know why.
And she felt an overwhelming amount of guilt because of it.
She was alive. She was here, with her beautiful daughter and her amazing husband, she should be enjoying every single second of this. But sometimes she didn't, and it made her feel terrible.
Gabby knew motherhood was an adjustment, that it would take time for her to get used to what her life was now. But she hated not knowing how long this feeling would last, she hated that she couldn't really understand why she felt this way. She had nothing to be sad about, her life was amazing and she wouldn't change a single part of it. She had everything she ever wanted, there was no reason for her to be feeling this way.
But she was. And she didn't know how to get it to stop.
"You're so amazing with her."
Gabby snapped out of her daze, looking up to see Matt standing in the doorway. She hadn't even realized he was still here, Gabby giving him a tight lipped smile. Although she knew he hadn't actually heard what was going on in her head, she was always amazed at how well he was able to know what was going on with her. He had always been able to read her, and know exactly what she needed at any given time.
"Yeah… I'm trying to be, at least." Gabby murmured, looking back down to Sofia, seeing her bright blue eyes staring at her while she ate, the little girl clenching Gabby's shirt in her fist. Gabby could feel Matt walking back over to them, Casey leaning down and pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to the top of her head.
"You're an incredible mom, baby." He spoke against her head, Gabby blinking back the tears forming in her eyes as he kissed her again before pulling away, rubbing his hand over her back. "Sofia and I are both lucky to have you."
While Matt didn't know exactly what was going on with her, he knew she was having a hard time. She was like an open book to him, even when she didn't want to be; he knew when something was weighing her down, even if he didn't know the cause. He could always tell when she was going through something, and this was no exception.
She'd become a little distant, in the few days they'd been home. Not with Sofia, so much, but with him at times. She was just hard to reach. It wasn't all the time, there were moments she was just his Gabby, but other times, she was struggling. He didn't know why, but he tried to follow her lead in her harder moments. He wasn't sure the exact cause for her shift in behavior, but he knew having Sofia was a major adjustment. They loved their daughter more than anything, he had no doubts about that, but it was hard. Raising a kid was hard, and Gabby seemed to be feeling the effects of that. She'd been all over the place since they came home, her snappiness in the kitchen just the tip of the iceberg as of late. He had seen her at some different extremes recently; she could either be overwhelmingly happy, or upset enough to the point it would reduce her to tears. He was sure it wasn't just mood swings, he'd dealt with that throughout the majority of her pregnancy, and this felt different. It felt more intense, and he didn't know how to help.
But her little outburst in the kitchen had him suspecting she was doubting herself, and he couldn't let that happen. He refused to let it happen, not after he'd seen how amazing she was as a mother to Sofia. He knew how great of a mom she was when they had Louie, but this was different. This was a kid who needed to be with them 24/7, someone they were shaping from birth, who needed constant care, the most important of which, only Gabby could provide. And she had been absolutely incredible the entire way. He never wanted her to doubt that.
"You're just as amazing at this as I am, if not more." Gabby murmured, Matt squatting down beside the chair, resting his arms out in front of himself. "And you've got the added bonus of having to deal with me, which I know isn't always easy." She spoke lightly, Matt shaking his head as he placed his hand on her thigh.
"Dealing with you is exactly how I want to spend every day of the rest of my life." He responded, Gabby giving him a slow nod, her attention focused on Sofia. Seeing her obvious uneasiness, Matt sighed, rubbing his hand over her leg. "Gabby… Hey, look at me." He prompted, Gabby reluctantly meeting his gaze, Matt hating the tears he saw hiding in her eyes. "I can't even begin to imagine what all this is like, how much of an adjustment this is for you. But I am so God damn proud of you, baby. I know it's hard, I know all of this is insane. I barely feel like I'm a person most days, I can't even begin to know what this is like for you, but you, Gabriela Dawson, are the most amazing mother Sofia could've ever asked for." He spoke proudly, a genuine smile falling onto her lips, Matt giving her thigh a comforting squeeze. "There are some days I feel like I'm drowning in all this, but you always bring me back."
"That's funny, cause I would've said the same thing about you." She murmured, Matt's grin widening. "You're honestly wonderful at this, all this parenthood stuff. It's like you just always know what to do."
"It was all those baby books you mocked me for." He joked, Gabby shaking her head in amusement.
"I don't think so, I think it's just you." She replied, earning a shy smile from her husband. "You take such great care of her, of both of us. Seriously, I don't know how I would've been able to do any of this without you."
"You'll never have to." He responded immediately, Gabby nodding with a tender smile. "We're in this together. Always."
"I know." She replied, slowly adjusting her positioning to stretch out her back, Sofia beginning to cry when she was unlatched from her mom. "I'm sorry, baby, it's okay." She spoke instantly, her attention moved completely to Sofia, guiding her back into place. Once Gabby was sure Sofia was eating again, she looked back to Matt, seeing him looking completely enamored.
"What?"
"I really don't know how you do it, but I'm so amazed but you." He breathed out, Gabby feeling heat rise to her cheeks. "You're an incredible mom, Gabby."
"Thank you." She murmured, ducking her head in embarrassment. "And, uh, I'm sorry about earlier, out in the kitchen… I didn't mean to be a bitch, I know I've been a mess lately…"
"You haven't been. And you weren't a bitch." He corrected, shaking his head as he stood up. "We're both just sleep deprived. Hopefully once she's fed and happy, she'll pass out for awhile, let us get some rest." He continued, Gabby giving him an agreeing nod.
"Yeah. hopefully."
Matt leaned down, capturing Gabby's lips in a soft kiss, the two pulling back after a few gentle moments. "I'm gonna go clean up her bath stuff, if you're good. Then maybe by the time I finish, she'll be ready for a bed." He told her, Gabby giving him a nod.
"Sounds good."
Matt gave her another quick kiss before heading for the door, stopping to take one last look at his girls.
"What?" Gabby questioned, catching his stares, Matt responding with a gentle shrug.
"I just love my family." He responded, his heart filled with warmth when he saw the bright smile light up Gabby's face, a smile he hadn't seen nearly enough of lately.
"We love you, too." She murmured, Matt flashing her a grin before disappearing around the corner, the husband and father heading straight for the kitchen.
Since being home with Sofia, the state of the apartment had definitely taken a hit. For a person who wasn't even mobile, their daughter managed to leave quite a mess behind, the living room alone a disaster area. It was a shift from what they were used to, the very organized parents used to order and everything being neat, but now that impulse had flown out the window. When they weren't taking care of Sofia, their only focus was getting rest, and while they usually cleaned up the bigger messes along the way, their apartment definitely looked like a tornado had blown through.
It took all of ten minutes for Matt to get the kitchen cleaned of all the baby bath items, Casey returning everything to it's home, aside from Sofia's small bath tub, the father leaving that out on a towel on the counter, wanting to let the item dry before he put it away.
After quickly checking in with Gabby, making sure her and Sofia were both okay, Casey decided to try and clean up some of the mess that had been created in their apartment since little Sofia was still eating. Starting in the kitchen, Matt filled up the dishwasher with all the dirty plates and utensils that had been put aside for Sofia's bath, the parents not having ran it since getting home.
Once quickly completing that task, Matt moved to their bedroom, picking up stray clothes, some theirs and some Sofia's, placing their clothes into their hamper while keeping their daughter's separate. He knew there was no use in making the bed, so he took to just fluffing up their pillows a bit before moving on, Matt beginning the task of getting rid of the trash in the room, which mostly consisted of a few stray dirty diapers wrapped up in various places.
Before Sofia, Matt never would have imagined he or Gabby would've just left dirty diapers sitting around. He knew it was a little gross, and before his daughter, the mere thought would've disturbed him to no end. But now, it didn't faze him much. With waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to change diapers and make sure Sofia got fed, sometimes their trash didn't always get where it was supposed to go. And him and Gabby both had been peed and pooped on too many times to count over the last few weeks, a dirty diaper was nothing to them anymore.
It wasn't that they left them intentionally, but sometimes it just happened, Matt making sure he got all the various trash that had accumulated in their bedroom before taking it back out into the kitchen and discarding it.
His next task was to try and work on the living room, Matt finding the same kind of mess out here as he had in his bedroom. Surprisingly, it didn't take him too long to clean up. Once he'd picked up the stray clothing, most of which was Sofia's, some being items of his or Gabby's that had gotten spit up on, all that was left was just a few baby items that now had permanent homes out here, at least for the time being. But even with the added baby items, it was still looking much better than it had moments ago.
Once the apartment was as clean as it was going to get, Matt decided to start a load of laundry, knowing they were well behind on that too, Casey being as quiet as he could with Sofia's room being close to the laundry room. After getting it started, he poked his head into the nursery, smiling softly when he saw Gabby dozing in the chair, his wife doing what she could to stay awake. Placing the basket down in the hallway, Matt stepped into the room, moving slowly as to not startle Sofia. When he got closer, he saw that little Sofia was passed out, his daughter having fallen asleep while she ate, Gabby not far behind her.
"Babe." He whispered, placing a hand on Sofia's back, his other moving to Gabby's shoulder, Casey seeing his wife slowly waking up, her eyes blinking furiously before her gaze landed on him. "She's asleep."
Without a word, Gabby nodded, slowly pulling Sofia away from her chest, handing her off to Matt. The transition went smoothly, Sofia never waking as she settled into her father's arms, Matt glancing back to Gabby.
"I'm gonna go put her in our room." He told her quietly, Gabby nodding, stretching out her stiff arms before standing up, the parents moving out of the nursery.
Matt went straight to the bedroom, placing Sofia in her bassinet by their bed while Gabby made a stop in the kitchen, knowing she needed to get some food in her before going to bed. Although she could easily fall asleep right this second, and she didn't want to miss out on any precious resting time, she knew she had to eat something. With her breastfeeding, it was like she was needing to eat more than she ever did while she was pregnant.
Opening up their fridge, Gabby immediately saw the stack of meals that had been prepared for them by their friends. Between Kidd, Brett, Jemma, and Cindy, the Casey's were set with food for the next few weeks, Gabby knowing many more meals were sitting in their freezer. Neither Dawson nor Casey had been expecting it, both surprised when Severide and Jemma stopped by the day after they got home with stacks of aluminum pans filled with food, but it was much appreciated. Matt and Gabby hadn't really prioritized themselves in all this, the two not thinking about what they'd eat when they got home from the hospital, but luckily their friends had been thinking of them, and now they were set for awhile.
Too tired to heat up anything that required the over, she decided on the pasta bake that Cindy had made, Gabby put a heaping pile onto a plate, sticking it in the microwave before returning the rest of the food to the fridge.
A few minutes later she was leaned against the counter eating her food, Matt walking out of the bedroom, immediately heading towards her, mimicking her stance.
"She's sound asleep." He spoke, placing the baby monitor on the counter, Gabby giving him a nod as she held up a fork full of food to his mouth, Matt taking a bite.
"Good." She replied, taking another bite of her food. "Thank you for cleaning up, all that mess was starting to stress me out." She told him, bringing the fork to his mouth again.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I wanted to take the second while I had it. Who knew raising a newborn could be so much work." He spoke lightly, Gabby chuckling as they took turns eating the food she'd warmed up, Gabby switching off between feeding herself and holding the fork out for him. "I feel like Sofia." He commented after a bite, Gabby's face scrunching up in amusement.
"Well, you could get your own fork." She replied, placing hers in front of his mouth again, Matt accepting the food.
"Nah, I'm good. I like this better." He responded after he swallowed, Gabby scoffing lightly, the couple continuing to eat.
They finished rather quickly, Gabby letting him have the last bite before Matt took the plate and fork from her, moving towards the sink to rinse them off while Gabby grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, along with the baby monitor off the counter. She waited for him while he moved around the apartment, turning off the lights and checking to make sure the doors were locked before they walked to the bedroom, being as quiet as they could.
Soon enough, the couple was settled down into their bed, Sofia sound asleep in her bassinet by Matt's side, the location for convenience as he was the one doing most of the diaper changes during the night, and he didn't want Gabby having to lift Sofia over and over, his wife still needing to take it easy.
Without a word, Gabby cuddled her back into his chest, this being the most comfortable position for her right now as Matt loosely let his arm rest over her side, the man being mindful to not put any pressure on her stomach.
Within moments of her head hitting the pillow, Gabby was out, her body completely relaxed in his hold as she slept, Matt knowing the insane amount of exhaustion she was feeling had finally caught up with her. Pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder, Matt let himself relax into the bed, focusing on the feeling of her chest rising and falling as she breathed.
"Goodnight, baby."
Matt walked in through the back door, juggling multiple grocery bags in his hands while balancing two packages of diapers underneath his arms, Casey somehow managing to get the door shut and locked behind him without dropping anything.
"Babe?" He called into the apartment, hearing the soft lull of the TV filling the room.
"In here." She responded, the direction of her voice telling him she was in the living room. "Did you get everything?"
"Sure did. Even got two things of diapers." He replied, placing the bags on the counter, the diapers falling out from under his arm onto the ground, Matt bending over to pick them up, setting them on the counter. "So, I take it you and Sofia did okay being by yourselves for the first time?"
"Yeah, we did." Gabby answered back, Matt searching through the grocery bags, looking for something in particular.
Today had been the first time either Gabby or Matt had been alone with Sofia, Casey needing to run out and get some things for their daughter. Even though he was only gone for about half an hour, he was glad to let Gabby get some one on one time with their girl. And he knew it was something he'd need to get used to, Matt well aware that once he went back to work, he'd be away from them for much longer than this.
Truthfully, it wasn't something he was looking forward to. As much as he loved his job, all he wanted was to be here with his girls, especially when Sofia was still so young. He wasn't going back yet, but he knew the time was quickly approaching where it would need to start being a discussion, and he wasn't necessarily excited about that.
Finding what he was looking for, Matt hid it behind his back before heading for the living room, his smile widening when he saw Gabby sitting on the floor with Sofia, their daughter doing some tummy time on her mat.
"There are my girls." He spoke with a bright smile, Gabby grinning when she saw him, Matt happy to see her still in a good mood.
"Hey baby." She responded, Matt coming over and leaning down to press a firm kiss to her lips. "What do you have there?"
"Hmm?" He questioned, crouching down on the floor beside her.
"Whatever you're hiding behind your back." She elaborated, Matt grinning as he pulled out a small box of chocolates from behind him, Gabby's smile widening when she saw what he was holding.
"It's not anything, really. I just thought you might like them." He replied, Gabby bringing her hand up to his cheek, stroking her thumb over his skin. "I was going to get you some flowers, but I wasn't sure if we should have those in the house with Sofia. I didn't know, so I just went with the safe option." He spoke sheepishly, Gabby smiling as she leaned forward, kissing him softly.
"These are great, thank you." She responded against his lips, kissing him again before they pulled back.
"And for my other girl, I got you some more diapers and wipes. Because you can't eat chocolate." Matt spoke, his voice light as he talked to his daughter, Sofia smacking against the mat she was on. "But I did get you a new outfit. Your Momma might think it's ugly, but I think you'll look cute. Oh, who am I kidding, you're always cute."
Gabby's heart melted as she watched Matt interact with their daughter, his hand resting on her back as she tried to follow the sound of her dad's voice. He always spoke to her like she knew exactly what was being said to her, like they were carrying on a conversation, and something about it just made her fall in love with him all over again. Sofia had him wrapped around her tiny little finger, and Gabby knew Matt wouldn't have it any other way.
"She seems to be getting used to tummy time." He commented, looking back up towards his wife. The first few times they'd done it, Sofia hated being placed on the floor. She didn't mind being on her stomach when she was cuddling her parents, but it took her some time to adjust to being placed down on a mat. But, as she did with most things, she was slowly adjusting.
"Yeah, she did okay today. But we should probably get her up, she's been down there long enough." Gabby told him, Matt nodding as he carefully picked up his baby, Sofia fussing until she recognized it was her father who got her, the girl moving her arms around, hitting his face on accident.
"Hi baby." He spoke, laughing as she continued to lightly hit him with her balled up fists. "I take it you're excited to see me." He continued, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
"Well, who can blame her." Gabby teased, Matt raising an eyebrow as he glanced towards his wife.
"I know you get equally excited to see me too, you just have different ways of showing your… affection." He spoke with a grin, Gabby ducking her head. "Although we could always try that, I bet it'd be fun." She felt heat fill her cheeks at the implications of his words, Gabby smacking him on the arm as he laughed at her reaction.
"Matt…" She warned, earning another chuckle from her husband before he changed the subject.
"So, anything fun on the agenda today?" Matt asked, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek, still trying to will away the embarrassment from his last words.
"Well… I did have something in mind, actually." She prefaced, watching on in amusement as Sofia kept hitting her father's face inadvertently.
"Yeah? What's that?"
"What if we take Sofia to the firehouse."
Matt winced at the idea, his eyes moving back towards his daughter. "Isn't she too young?"
"No, she's not. We'd need to be careful, but it's perfectly fine for her to go out into the world. We wouldn't be taking her somewhere with a bunch of strangers we don't know, I'm not saying we're gonna take her out in public any time soon, but I think it would be nice for them to meet her. And we can make sure they all wash their hands before they hold her." She told him, Matt bouncing Sofia in his arms.
"I don't know…"
"Come on, Matt. No one has been able to meet her yet, and she's already over three weeks old. Plus, I need to get out of this house and be around people before I go insane." She added, Matt chuckling softly.
Although Gabby much rather preferred to be stuck at home than in the hospital, she still didn't like being confined to one place. And in over the week that they'd been at home, Gabby had yet to leave. She was getting anxious being inside all the time, and she knew it would be good for Sofia to experience more of the outside world. And it would definitely do Gabby some good as well.
"If you really don't want to, we won't. I just thought that would be a good place to start, and that way everyone can meet her."
"No, no it's okay... I might not let anyone touch her, but we can go." He spoke with a grin, Gabby knowing he was only partially joking.
"Thank you." She replied, leaning forward and kissing him quickly, giving one to Sofia as well before she stood up. "I'm gonna go take a shower, you got her?"
"Yeah, yeah we're good." He replied with a smile, Gabby nodding before heading for the bathroom.
He knew that Gabby was getting a bit restless, she had been for days. Even though her only job right now was to take care of Sofia and get as much rest as she can, it wasn't in her nature to take it easy. And after being confined to the hospital for so long, and now being stuck in this apartment, he knew she had to be going a bit stir crazy.
Matt was surprised she wanted to Sofia out of the house so soon though, if he was being honest. He knew, technically, there was nothing wrong with it, and that Gabby was right in that the firehouse was a good first place to take her, but he was still a little shocked she was willing to have Sofia around that many people so soon. But they were all people they trusted, people who would respect any boundaries they set when it came to their daughter, and he knew how excited they were to meet the newest addition to the Casey family.
And, after the up and down days she'd had since becoming a mother, he knew it would do Gabby some good to spend time with all her friends, too.
Matt worked efficiently on unclasping Sofia's car seat from its base, Gabby grabbing the diaper bag from the other side of the backseat as her husband pulled a sleeping Sofia in her seat from the car, Matt closing the door as gently as he could. Before moving any further, Matt moved the shield down as far as it would go to keep the sun off of Sofia, Gabby coming around to stand beside them.
"It feels like it's been forever since we've been here." Gabby spoke, Matt keeping a firm grip on the handle of Sofia's car seat, glancing down to see her still sound asleep, the car ride having put her to sleep almost instantly.
"Well, for you it kind of has." He responded with a smile, Gabby nodding in agreement, clasping her hand in Matt's free one before they began walking up the driveway towards the firehouse.
It took a few hours from when they decided to come visit to them actually getting here, it taking longer than they could've ever imagined to get out of the house with a newborn. Not even factoring in Gabby getting ready, they had ended up unpacking and repacking the diaper bag nearly five times, needing to make sure they had everything. While they didn't need to worry about formula, they weren't entirely sure exactly what they needed, and how much. And, if you asked Gabby, they definitely overpacked.
They had plenty of diapers and wipes, which Gabby knew were a necessity, but Matt had insisted on packing four outfits, something Gabby felt was a little excessive. He also tried to pack nearly all of her toys, which Dawson quickly put a stop to it. She knew Matt had some nervous energy about leaving the house, which had manifested into him trying to pack everything Sofia owned, claiming he 'wasn't sure what all she would need' while they were out. But Gabby had to reign him in, making sure they only brought the necessities, and that task alone ended up taking over an hour.
And getting Sofia dressed was another issue as well. Matt had bundled her up in one too many layers, Gabby immediately knowing she'd get too warm in the September heat, especially if she'd be spending the afternoon being passed around between their firehouse family. But Matt was insistent, worried about little Sofia getting too cold, so after nearly twenty minutes of bickering back and forth, they decided on a long sleeve onesie, Gabby agreeing to bring a light jacket and extra blanket to put in her diaper bag just in case they needed it while inside the cool firehouse.
"Do you think we should've called and warned them?" Gabby asked as they walked up the driveway, the couple seeing that both squad and truck were parked in their spots, but the ambulance was gone.
"Nah, I think it'll be a good surprise." He responded, giving her hand a squeeze as they stepped into the garage, Matt looking down to Sofia every few seconds to make sure she was still okay. As they got further into the garage, they saw it completely empty, both surprised that squad wasn't seated at their usual table, the two continuing towards the double doors.
Pulling the door open, Matt let Gabby go in first, the firefighter following close behind as they stepped into the hallway, seeing everyone seated in the common room. Herrmann noticed them first, the older man's eyes widening in excitement when he saw the family.
"What are you guys doing here?" He nearly shouted, his words getting the attention of the entire room as he pushed himself up off the couch, Gabby and Matt taking more steps forward.
"We wanted to come by for a visit, and let you all meet Sofia." Casey answered, everyone perking up as the couple walked into the common room, Matt placing Sofia's car seat onto the table.
"It's so good to see you guys." Cruz spoke, bringing Gabby into a hug, everyone wanting a closer look at the baby, Matt seeing multiple looks of excitement and wonder as they saw Sofia for the first time.
Severide came up beside Casey, his hand moving towards the sleeping baby. "There's my goddaughter- hey!" He spoke in annoyance after Casey had smacked his hand away from Sofia.
"You know the drill, Kelly. If you wanna hold her, you've gotta wash your hands first." Matt spoke firmly, his eyes moving around to the group. "That goes for all of you." He warned, earning some laughs from everyone.
"I see someone's in protective dad mode already." Herrmann joked, clasping Matt's shoulder, leaning to get a better look at the girl.
"Oh, this isn't even the half of it." Severide called from the sink in the kitchen as he washed his hands, his words gaining the attention of the room. "Last time I visited Sofi, he made me change my shirt before I could hold her." He complained, Casey narrowing his eyes as Severide's words elicited more laughs.
"You'd just come from working on your car, you had grease all over your shirt." He defended, Kelly shaking his head as he dried off his hands.
"It was a little tiny spot, just at the bottom. Nowhere near Sofia, but he still made me change."
"Doesn't matter, it was still contaminated." He replied, glancing down to see Sofia slowly waking up, a soft smile covering his face. "There's my girl." He spoke gently, placing his hand on her stomach as the girl stretched her arms.
"Oh boy." Herrmann breathed out at Casey's expense, bringing Gabby in for a hug. "You seem like you've got your hands full, kid." He told her, rubbing her back before he pulled away, keeping his arm around Dawson.
"Yeah, this is what I've been dealing with for the past three weeks." She joked, catching a playful glare from her husband before Matt refocused his attention on Sofia, carefully beginning to unbuckle her.
Everyone watched on as Casey slowly lifted Sofia from her seat, the girl fussing until she was safely in her father's hold, his arms nearly swallowing the small girl.
"Wow…" Herrmann breathed out, taking a step closer. "She's beautiful, you guys. She looks just like you, Dawson... Thank God." He joked, Casey rolling his eyes before responding.
"Thanks Herrmann. But yeah, she does." Matt spoke, his face softening as he flashed Gabby a small smile before looking back down to Sofia.
"Alright, let me see my goddaughter, you have enough time with her." Severide interjected, breaking through the group to get back towards Matt.
"Sev, you see her all the time, maybe let someone else have a turn." Gabby prompted, Kelly shrugging as he carefully took Sofia.
"I'm the only one who's washed my hands, so I get first dibs." He responded, bouncing on the balls of his feet as Sofia nuzzled into him. "Oh yeah, you love your Uncle Kelly."
Most everyone got in line for the sink, wanting their chance to hold the newest addition to their family, Severide begrudgingly handing over the little girl to Herrmann after a few minutes.
"Man, she's so little." Herrmann spoke softly, his smile widening when Sofia gripped his finger.
"Yeah, but she's getting bigger every day."
"And all the lung issues have cleared up? She's doing okay?" He asked, his concern evident as he kept his eyes focused on the baby.
"Yeah, she has a clean bill of health. She's doing well." Gabby responded, her eyes catching movement from the conference room entrance, Dawson seeing Garcia enter the room. She could tell he was clearly surprised to see them, the man flashing them a small smile nonetheless.
"Hey Dawson, Casey." He greeted, Matt looking up at the voice, tearing his eyes from his daughter.
"Hello Garcia." He responded, quickly returning his attention back to Sofia, the little girl content in Herrmann's arms.
"And what about you, Dawson? You doing okay?" Herrmann questioned, Gabby giving him a nod.
"I'm okay. It's all been an adjustment, and recovering from the surgery has been taking longer than I expected, but I'm alright." She responded with a small smile, Herrmann nodding before being forced to hand Sofia over to Cruz, everyone wanting their moment with Sofia, Gabby and Matt both keeping a close eye on her, making sure she wasn't getting overwhelmed.
After a few more minutes, Gabby moved to sit down at the table, Matt pulling out the chair for her, knowing she was most likely feeling the effects of being on her feet for too long. Severide came and sat beside her, Matt pressing a kiss to the top of her head, leaning on the table beside her, his hand on her back while they watched Sofia who was now being held by Kidd, the woman refusing to hand her over.
Soon enough the telltale sign of 61 being back flooded the room, Gabby hearing the beeping of rig that was being backed into the garage, and within a few minutes both Brett and Foster appeared through the double doors, the blonde's eyes lighting up when she saw her friend.
"Gabby, hey!" She spoke excitedly, her eyes moving around the room, her smile widening when she saw the small girl resting in Kidd's arms. "I didn't know you guys were gonna be here today." Brett continued, walking towards Dawson, bringing her friend into a hug.
"Yeah, it wasn't really planned, but we wanted to come see everyone." Gabby replied, flashing Foster a smile as she pulled back from Brett.
"It's so good to see you, you look like you're doing well."
"Yeah, it feels good to be here." Gabby responded with a smile, Sylvie nodding before glancing over towards Sofia. "You wanna hold her?" Dawson prompted, the blonde nodding eagerly, Gabby rubbing her friend's back before turning towards Stella. "Kidd, let's give Brett a chance to see Sofia, okay?"
"Alright, fine." She huffed out, rubbing over Sofia's stomach before walking towards the table.
"You gotta wash your hands first, Brett. Or you might get smacked." Severide spoke, chuckles being heard around the room, Matt leaning over Gabby to smack Kelly again, the paramedics laughing along before they moved towards the kitchen.
While Brett and Foster were both washing their hands, Casey leaned down towards Gabby, whispering in her ear. "I'm gonna go talk to Boden, you good?"
Wordlessly, Gabby nodded, turning her head towards him, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his mouth.
"We're good." She verbally confirmed, Matt placing a kiss to her temple before standing up straight, sparing one last glance to Sofia before heading into the hallway, walking the familiar path towards Boden's office.
It didn't take him long to get there, Casey tapping on the open door frame, seeing the shock covering Boden's face when he saw his Captain standing there.
"Casey, hi. I wasn't expecting to see you here today, is everything okay?" He asked, standing up from his desk, Matt taking that as an invitation to enter.
"Yeah, we're all good Chief. Gabby wanted to bring the baby by so everyone could meet her, they're out in the common room." He responded, Boden giving a soft nod.
"Ah, good. Good. How are they doing?"
"They're good. Gabby… all this is a really big adjustment, but we're taking it day by day." Casey answered, Boden giving an understanding nod. "And Sofia," The smile that fell onto Matt's face when speaking of his daughter was infectious, "she's doing amazing. They're both doing really well."
"That's great, I'm glad to hear it." Boden replied, patting Casey's arm. "So, uh, since they're doing well, does that you mean you've thought any of when you'll be back to work?"
Boden saw the immediate look of hesitation that covered his Captain's face before Matt shook his head, his arms crossing over his chest. "No, I haven't, if I'm being honest." Casey answered, Boden nodding in response. "I know I probably should, and I know I'll need to come back soon, but all of this has been such a whirlwind, it feels like most days I'm just trying to keep up." He breathed out. "And being away from Gabby and Sofia for that long… I'm just not sure I can do that yet, or if Gabby can even handle that yet."
"I understand, Casey. You still have a little more time, I just wanted to check, we hadn't spoken about it so I wasn't sure where you were at. But I know you need to be with your family." Boden replied, Matt giving him a thankful nod. "Speaking of, how about we go see that little girl of yours?"
The wide grin previously covering Casey's face returned, Matt nodding as they both left Boden's office, the men walking through firehouse, soon returning to the common room. Matt's eyes instantly went in search of Sofia, finding his daughter still in Brett's arms, Foster and Kidd standing around the paramedic as she sat on the other side of Severide.
The second Boden saw the baby, he stopped in his tracks, a gentle grin gracing his lips as he took in little Sofia. She was the spitting image of her mother, with her dark complexion and her thin curly hair, which he could only imagine would continue to get thicker. She was absolutely precious, the Chief unable to wipe the smile from his face.
"She's beautiful." He spoke softly, Matt grinning like a proud father.
"She absolutely is." Casey agreed. "If you, uh, wash your hands, you can hold her." He spoke with a sheepish look, his words earning a chuckle from Boden, the man patting his shoulder.
"Yeah, I remember that stage well." He laughed, walking towards the kitchen, stopping to give Gabby a quick hug before continuing in that direction.
They managed to enjoy another twenty minutes without interruption, Sofia having ended up back in Matt's arms after she started getting fussy while Boden had her, the baby tired of all the unfamiliar people, everyone seeing how Sofia settled down almost immediately when she heard her father's soothing voice. They spent their time together catching up, Gabby happy to get these moments with her friends after not seeing most of them since her accident.
Dawson was in the midst of a conversation with Kidd when the bells rang out, signaling ambo to a call. The second he heard the noise, Matt did what he could to shield Sofia's ears, but he wasn't quick enough, the young girl screaming as the unexpected noise startled her.
"Oh, baby, it's okay." Casey murmured, hugging Sofia to his chest as he held his hand over her head, pressing his lips against the top of her head, hoping he'd be able to get her calmed down, but he wasn't having much luck.
"Damn, that kid is loud." Garcia huffed from the other table, Gabby sending him a sharp glare before turning towards her husband, seeing Sofia wasn't settling much at all.
"Let me see her, babe." Gabby spoke, Matt carefully handing Sofia to her mom, Gabby cradling her baby against her chest, knowing how that usually calmed her down. She kept a firm hand under her daughter, while her other gently rested over her upper back and neck, holding Sofia against her. "It's okay, you're okay." She murmured, Matt placing his hand on the top of Sofia's head.
With the comforting touch from both of her parents, Sofia's cries soon turned into soft whimpers, before she calmed down completely, everyone watching the scene unfold in front of them.
"Well, I guess we know who her favorite is." Herrmann teased from the couch, Matt scoffing as he softly rubbed over Sofia's head, seeing his daughter nuzzle herself into the secure embrace of her mom.
"Don't let her fool you, it's definitely Matt." Gabby responded, pressing a kiss to the side of her daughter's head.
Conversation had continued once Sofia got settled, Matt's hand rubbing up and down Gabby's back absentmindedly as they listened to their friends.
Movement from little Sofia caught Gabby's attention, seeing her daughter pushing her face into her upper chest, clearly trying to tell her mother she was hungry. Glancing up to Matt, she saw him smiling as he spoke with Herrmann from across the room, Gabby using her elbow to nudge him.
Casey immediately halted his words, turning to look at his wife. "Yeah, babe?"
"She's hungry." She told him softly, Matt nodding as he pushed his body up from the edge of the table.
"Okay, we can go to my office." He replied, Gabby nodding as she waited for Matt to take Sofia, not wanting to try and stand up with the baby in her arms, knowing her abdominal muscles were still a little weak.
"You guys leaving already?" Severide questioned when he saw their movement, Matt shaking his head as he handed Sofia back to Gabby once she'd gotten up.
"No, we're just gonna go to my office, Sofia needs to eat." Matt spoke, earning nods from a few of the firefighters in the room.
"Wait-" Garcia spoke up, Matt sighing heavily before turning towards him. "Can you do it somewhere else?"
Both Matt and Gabby's eyes narrowed at the Captain, the man raising his eyebrows.
"I'm sorry?"
"Can you do that somewhere else? It's kind of gross." He replied, Casey's face hardening in annoyance.
"My child needing to eat is gross." Matt repeated, the man giving him a shrug. "Well, I can't say I'm shocked you think that. But last I checked, it's not your office." He shot, Garcia straightening his spine in his chair.
"And the last I checked, I'm the one with your job right now." He fired back, Casey's eyes narrowing further. "So technically, it is my office. Why can't she just go sit in a stall in the bathroom, or hell, even go use the coat room out in the garage, I don't care, but she doesn't need to do… that in my office."
"Out in the garage? Are you fucking serious?"
"Casey." Boden interjected, Matt taking a deep breath before glancing to his Chief, the room uncomfortably quiet. "You and Dawson can use my office."
Hearing Sofia starting to cry from wanting to be fed, Matt simply nodded, knowing he didn't have time to argue with Garcia any longer when his daughter needed to be looked after. "Thank you, Chief." He spoke, sending Garcia one last menacing glare before following Gabby out of the common room, heading for Boden's office.
Neither of them had said a word as they got to the room, Sofia's fussing getting louder as they stepped in, Matt closing the door behind him, locking it just in case one of the civilian employees came looking for Boden.
"Is she okay?" He asked as he began pulling the blinds, Gabby nodding as she sat down in the middle of Boden's couch.
"Yeah, she's fine, just hungry." Gabby responded, waiting until Casey had pulled the last blind before lifting her shirt and unclasping her nursing bra, all while juggling Sofia in her arms. With a little maneuvering, Gabby got her positioned into place, Sofia eager to start eating. "There you go, little girl." She murmured, rubbing her thumb over Sofia's cheek as her daughter ate, the girl gripping onto Gabby's chest. "You were hungry, huh?"
"She could've eaten sooner if Garcia hadn't been such an asshole." Matt muttered, Gabby watching as he sat down beside her, leaning into the back of the couch.
"It doesn't matter, Matt." She breathed out, Casey raising his eyebrows.
"What he did out there, that doesn't bother you?" He questioned, Gabby giving him a shrug.
"Is he a dick? Absolutely. But like you said, it's not exactly surprising that he'd be grossed out by breastfeeding. This guy sees woman as sex objects, so him finding me feeding my child disturbing isn't really that shocking. And I don't know, it doesn't really seem worth it to fight him. The second you're back, he's gonna be gone anyway, and God willing, we'll never have to see him again after that." She responded, Matt pursing his lips together. "Although you going into protective-Daddy mode is always hot." She replied, running her tongue over her bottom lip as Matt cocked his head to the side.
"Oh, is it now?" He questioned, Gabby nodding as she leaned into his side, holding the back of Sofia's head so she didn't lose her latch, Matt's arm wrapping around her shoulders.
"It is." She replied softly, leaning back into his hold, her eyes falling closed as she focused on the feeling of Matt's hand rubbing her arm. "Speaking of, have you thought about it at all?"
"Thought of what?" He asked, his eyes watching his daughter.
"When you'll come back?"
Matt mulled over her question, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he rubbed up and down over her arm. He still didn't really have an answer, even when Boden asked him, there had been no timeframe in his mind as to when he'd get back to work.
"Honestly, right now my only focus is you two." He responded, Gabby smiling softly as she nodded, cuddling deeper into his hold as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"I like the sound of that."
So, what are we thinking? I'm trying to keep all of this very real. I've done a lot of research, trying to make this all believable and as real as possible. Yes, Gabby survived and she gets to live her whole life with her little girl and with Matt, but that doesn't mean everything will be perfect. All of this is a huge adjustment, one that's going to come with challenges for both of them. But Gabby did seem to be doing better during the end of the chapter, which I think keeps things realistic, as well. People have good and bad days, things can be up and down, especially after everything Gabby's gone through. But I hope you guys are liking the family moments, I love writing them.
Anyway, I'm hoping you guys are still enjoying this story, I can't wait to hear what you think! Thank you for reading!