Hello everyone! Ready for some more adventures with the new parents? I've got kind of an emotional one for you. This is my longest chapter in a while, so settle in. Between this chapter, and the update to my other story, I posted a nice little 23k words of fic today, which was definitely a lot but it was fun.
I hope you all enjoy this one. Happy reading.
Chapter Sixty Three
Gabby released a shaky breath as she cradled Sofia in her arms, her baby girl screaming her head off as Dawson tried to soothe her, gently bouncing her up and down as she walked around, hoping the movement would settle her down. But it only seemed to have the opposite effect, Sofia's screams getting louder.
"Matt!" Gabby called again, knowing he couldn't hear her over the shower, but she kept trying anyway, feeling her sanity slipping away. "It's okay baby." She murmured, Sofia's cries showing no signs of slowing down.
Blowing out a heavy sigh, Gabby clenched her jaw as she tried to keep her tears at bay, feeling completely overwhelmed as the sound of her daughter's cries filled her head. Blinking tightly, Gabby walked from behind the couch, heading for the master bedroom, the sound of Matt's shower getting louder as she stepped into the room.
"Gabby?"
She heard his voice before she even got near the bathroom, telling her he'd heard Sofia's deafening cries over the running water. Stepping into the small room, Gabby sniffled as he came into view, seeing her husband with his head poking out from the shower door, a deep frown forming over his face when he took in the sight of his teary wife and crying baby.
"What's wrong?"
"She won't stop crying. I couldn't get her to eat either, and you know how she's been lately, she never stops crying but I just- I don't know what to do. I know we think it's just colic, that she doesn't have a fever or anything but I can't get her to stop and I-"
"Hey hey hey, baby it's okay." Matt spoke when there seemed to be no end in sight to her rambling, seeing her working herself up, the tears welling in her eyes evident as Sofia kept crying. "Give me a second, hold on." He responded, leaning back into the shower to quickly get the rest of the soap off his body, not having expected his shower to be interrupted this abruptly. When he left Gabby and Sofia in the living room less than ten minutes ago, they were both fine. But clearly that had changed.
Finishing up his haphazard job of washing his body, Matt turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and reaching for his towel, seeing Gabby leaned up against the counter, tears sitting in her eyes as she tried to calm Sofia. After quickly drying himself off, he wrapped the towel around his waist as he walked towards his girls, Gabby glancing up at him.
"Let me see her." He murmured, flashing Gabby a supportive smile as his wife handed him Sofia, the girl's crying continuing as she was moved. While cradling a distraught Sofia, Matt glanced up, seeing Gabby wiping under her eyes, her emotions running high. "It's okay, babe. She'll be fine, like you said, it's just colic." He tried to comfort his other girl, reaching up to rub her arm while he kept Sofia tucked firmly into his other one.
"Yeah, uh- I mean, we know she doesn't have a fever, she's not sick or anything, as far as I can tell. It's just… all the crying."
"Did you try the pacifier?" He asked, Gabby giving him a nod as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I couldn't get her to take it, but I don't know, maybe try again, see if she wants it now." She suggested, Matt giving her a comforting nod, bringing his hand up to cradle the side of her face.
"Alright, I'll go get one, see if that helps." He told her calmly, Gabby taking a deep breath, clearly trying to calm herself down. "Everything's good, we got this." He reminded her, rubbing his thumb over her cheek before pressing a gentle kiss to her head, Matt soon slipping past her out into the bedroom.
Gabby nearly collapsed into the counter as the sound of Sofia's cries got farther away, the new mom struggling to keep her composure as her hands came up to hold her face, Dawson forcing herself to take deep breaths.
It had been a rough week for the family, to put it lightly, their little Sofia having the hardest time of them all. In the first few weeks of her life, she'd been nearly the perfect baby. She had her moments, but overall she was just a good, happy baby; she slept extremely well, ate even better, and would only get fussy when she needed one of those two things. But that had all changed over the last week or so.
Sofia had been inconsolable, crying for long extended periods of time, mostly at night, even though there was nothing seemingly wrong with her. She would just be almost screaming, and it was jarring to the new parents. And then even when she'd tire herself out after all the crying, she'd still be fussy. It seemed like there was nothing they could do to put her at ease. The only time she really wasn't upset was when she'd be feeding, which had admittedly taken its toll on Gabby, physically and mentally.
She was sore all the time, Gabby barely having a moment where her daughter wouldn't be clawing towards her chest, and her body was paying the price. But when Sofia was nursing, that seemed to be the only time she was calm. Gabby knew she was comfort feeding, that little Sofia was wanting her for the contact more so than the food, but no matter the reason, she was still being latched onto and grabbed all the same. And it was difficult.
During the days, it wasn't so bad for the most part. But when it got later in the evening, Sofia would start up with the inconsolable crying, which had led to a lot of sleepless nights for Matt and Gabby. She wanted to be held constantly, they quickly found out she wouldn't even stop crying unless she was in one of her parent's arms, and even then it would take some time for her to quiet down enough for her to sleep.
Once she'd fall asleep, if they could get her into her bed without waking up, she'd be fine, at least for a little while, but if she woke up even the slightest bit, the crying and fussing would start again. Neither one of them really knew what to do, and the irritability stemming from sleep deprivation and worry had led to some arguments between the new parents, them nearly biting each other's heads off in some moments.
It was never anything that stuck, never anything that turned into a real fight, but their exhaustion was controlling their heads, and that was bound to lead to some issues. But they were getting through it, their petty bickering usually forgotten after a few minutes, the two dropping whatever issues immediately when one of them needed help.
Gabby knew the sleepless nights, the inconsolable baby, and the stupid, trivial bickering were bound to leave her feel a little emotional, and it had, but it was only made worse by everything else she was dealing with. She was still having a harder time than she cared to admit by being thrust into the role of motherhood, and seeing Matt taking everything in stride wasn't helping matters.
Everything seemed so effortless with him, like he knew exactly what to do, and at times she found it a bit frustrating. She knew being a mom wasn't easy, it shouldn't be easy, but she at least wanted to feel like she was doing something right. She wanted to feel like there was some part of this she was good at, and right now she didn't. She felt incompetent, like she was bad mother. And there was a nagging thought in the back of her mind that Matt was thinking the same thing.
She knew it was stupid, that she was just overthinking things and letting her tired brain run rampant. But every time Matt was the first one out of bed to get Sofia, or when they'd be in another room and he'd make a mad-dash towards the bedroom the second their daughter woke up, or when he was able to calm her down instantly, the exhausted, hormonal part of her brain couldn't help her from feeling like a failure. That Matt was shouldering more of the responsibility because he didn't think she could handle it.
It was irrational, she knew it was. He was just being Matt; her sweet, caring, attentive Matt. He was being a dad, doing whatever he could to help her and be there for his family. He wasn't doing it as some subliminal message, like he thought he was better at this than her. Logically, she knew he was just being the same person he'd always been, only now as a father. But she couldn't help how she felt. Even though time and time again Matt had told her how wonderful she was at all this, it didn't feel like it. And that inner-battle she was having with herself had only made this stressful situation with Sofia that much harder.
"The pacifier worked."
Gabby lifted her head up, seeing her concerned husband standing in the doorway as he held their little girl, the exhausted mom seeing Sofia eagerly sucking on the pacifier as Matt held it to her mouth. She hadn't even heard him come in, she expected his entrance to be accompanied by a crying baby, but right now she had seemed to calm down. Matt had gotten her calmed down.
"And she's feeling better now, aren't you Sofia?" He asked, his voice light as he stepped into the doorway. "Her appointment is in a few days, right?"
Clearing her throat, Gabby nodded, pushing her hair behind her ear before responding. "Yeah, um, the day after tomorrow. At 10." She confirmed, Matt giving her a soft nod before looking back down to his daughter, seeing her teary, bright blue eyes shining back at him.
"Good. I know she's fine, but the assurance will be nice. And plus, it'll be good to meet her pediatrician. I'm sure he's good, I know he was Dr. Tanner's first choice for us, but it'll be good to get her in there." He mused, Gabby giving him a silent nod in agreement.
When Sofia's colic issues first started, they weren't exactly sure what to do. But after some guidance from her dad, some long phone calls with her mother, and talking with Antonio, they were assured it wasn't anything serious. She knew colic was a common problem, both Diego and Eva dealt with it when they were born, and it was something that they would just have to deal with until Sofia grew out of it, but they still wanted to get her checked out, just for peace of mind.
And they were both eager to finally meet Sofia's pediatrician. Dr. Kevin Mitchell was the first recommendation Dr. Tanner had given them in terms of a pediatrician for little Sofia, so he became their first choice. They had been a little lost at first, unsure of what they should be looking for in terms of a pediatrician, but Dr. Tanner quickly fixed that, the woman easing their concerns by giving them a few options for Sofia. They trusted her, more than anyone, to steer them in the right direction for their baby girl, so he was who they'd gone with. And as an added bonus, his office worked out of the same building as Dr. Tanner's.
They had called and gotten everything all set up before Sofia was born, and Matt had even planned on going to meet the man, Gabby unable to with her confined bedrest, but then when Sofia came earlier, that had all gone out the window. Then with Gabby's recovery, and Sofia's health issues and being in the hospital for so long being constantly monitored, they didn't need to go to that first checkup that was typically done a few days after birth, because all of that had been done in the hospital. So they had yet to actually meet their pediatrician in person, but they had spoken to him on the phone.
After talking with her family about Sofia's problem, she'd also called his office, wanting to speak with him about it. She gave him as many details over the phone as she could, which led him to the same conclusion as everyone else; Sofia had colic. But he still insisted on her being brought by, just to be sure. And this visit would also give Dr. Mitchell a chance to meet Sofia and the family, and let him check over her himself, to make sure there were no deeper issues going on. With her medical history in her short first month of life, he insisted on them coming by, just for some reassurance.
"Yeah, it'll be good." Gabby finally replied, her slow response gaining his attention once more as he kept his gaze on Sofia. "Hopefully he can help us figure out how to deal with this a little better."
"Yeah, hopefully." He agreed, tearing his eyes away from his daughter to look back to his wife. "Although that was a good idea, by the way. The pacifier."
"Well, it was yours." She breathed out quickly, his eyebrows furrowing as he walked back into the bathroom, coming to stand beside Gabby. He leaned his body weight against the counter, mimicking her stance while they stood there, Gabby's eyes focused on their daughter.
They both just stood there for a few moments, Gabby knowing there were things on the tip of his tongue that he wanted to say, but she didn't prompt him, Dawson choosing to keep her focus on Sofia as she placed a gentle hand on her daughter's stomach, Sofia's eyes moving towards her mom.
"You wanna talk about it?" Matt asked after a couple silent moments, Gabby lifting her eyes to find him watching her intensely, a look of worry mixed with confusion settled in his gaze. She raised her eyebrows, Matt tilting his head to the side expectantly. "Whatever's going on with you." He elaborated, Gabby sucking in a deep, shaky breath as she looked away from him, refocusing on their daughter.
They hadn't really talked about it, what all Gabby was struggling with. It didn't seem like a big deal for her to bring it up, not when they were dealing with Sofia's colic, gas pains, and just general grumpiness. She didn't feel like it was worth mentioning, so she didn't say anything.
But she could tell Matt knew there was more going on with her than just the exhaustion. He hadn't pushed her, but he knew something was bothering her. She just didn't know how to talk to him about it, when she didn't even fully understand it herself. And she really didn't want it turning into a fight, because she knew that wasn't something she could handle right now.
"Gabby…" He spoke again, Gabby sighing deeply as she found his worried gaze. Gnawing on her bottom lip, she crossed her arms over her chest, trying to figure out how to explain what exactly was going on, if she could even explain it.
"I-..." She cut herself, running her tongue over her bottom lip as she looked forward, staring at the wet shower door, her gaze focusing on the lingering water dripping down the glass. "I don't understand how this is so easy for you." She said quickly, missing the look of clear confusion that covered his face.
"What are you talking about?" He asked softly, Gabby forcing herself to look at him, seeing him waiting for more of an explanation.
Blowing out a heavy breath, she brought her hand up to run over her jaw before responding. "I just- I don't know how you are handling all of this so well. I'm a Goddamn mess, all the time, and you're just… so good at all of it. I don't know how you do it, how you know what to do all the time. I can't even get her to stop crying, I can't-" She cut herself off again, choking back the air that caught in her throat as she tried to reign in her emotions.
"Hey, baby, stop. Stop." He spoke worriedly, making sure Sofia was cradled comfortably in his arm before bringing his free hand to her back, Matt rubbing up and down trying to calm her. "Take a breath, it's okay." He murmured, hating to see her getting so worked up.
"I'm fine, I'm sorry." She replied lowly, shaking her head. "I'm not even explaining this right, just forget it, I'm-"
"No. No, no, none of that." He interjected, placing his hand on her shoulder as she started to stand up straight, his grip keeping her beside him, Matt waiting until she reluctantly looked at him before he continued. "I wanna understand, I want you to talk to me."
Gabby bit down on the inside of her cheek, clenching her eyes shut as she took slow breaths, focusing on the feeling of Matt's hand running over her back. He gave her time to gather her thoughts, Matt doing what he could to silently comfort her while also keeping an eye on their daughter, the little girl beginning to squirm.
"I just… I feel like I'm failing." She murmured, Matt's eyes narrowing in confusion and worry, her words completely taking him by surprise.
"What do you mean, failing?" He questioned quickly, making sure to keep his voice soft.
"Failing her… failing you."
Matt's eyes fell closed as he shook his head, his heart tightening as her words sunk in, hating that she was feeling this way. Because it was in no way close to the truth. He wasn't sure what had happened to make her think that, if it was something that came from one specific thing, or if she'd been thinking about it for awhile, but, whatever the cause, he knew he needed to put a stop to it.
"Gabby-"
He was cut off by Sofia beginning to cry around her pacifier, the baby pushing her face into Matt's bare chest. Blowing out a sigh, Matt glanced back towards Gabby, watching as she pushed herself away from the counter, reaching out for Sofia.
"I got her." She sighed, taking their daughter into her arms, heading out of the bathroom.
"Gabby…"
"She's hungry." She responded, glancing towards him from her spot just through the doorway. "I've gotta feed her." She spoke softly, Matt nodding before Gabby kept walking, Casey assuming she was heading for the nursery.
Drawing in a deep breath, Matt ran his hand over the side of his face, his mind running a mile a minute as his wife's words rang in his head.
Gabby had never been a failure. Even when things hadn't gone according to plan, she'd never failed. She especially had never failed him. Despite everything that had happened between them, he never, not once, thought of her as a failure. And, even more so, she'd never failed their daughter.
And he was determined to make sure she believed that.
Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Matt pushed himself from the counter, unwrapping the towel still around his waist, hanging it back up in its rightful home before heading out into the bedroom. It less than a minute, he was clothed in pajama pants and a t-shirt, Matt running his hand through his drying hair as he padded his way out into the living room, walking the familiar path straight to the nursery.
Stopping in the doorway, Matt took in the sight of Gabby sitting in the glider, her mind clearly elsewhere as she stared at the wall, Sofia eating while resting in her mother's arms. It took him getting halfway in the room for her to register his presence, Gabby's vision snapping into focus when she saw him, flashing her husband a weak smile as he came to sit on the footrest in front of her.
Placing his hands on her legs, Matt slowly rubbed over her thighs, the action comforting her as they sat quietly, Matt's eyes on her while Gabby focused on Sofia.
"She looks happy." He murmured, his words bringing a small smile to her face as she nodded.
"Yeah, for now she seems okay." She responded, her voice barely audible, Matt running his tongue over his bottom lip as his gave her thigh a gentle squeeze.
"What's going on, Gabby?" He questioned, Gabby biting down roughly on her bottom lip nervously, Matt using his thumb to tug it out from her teeth, afraid if she bit any harder she'd draw blood. "That stuff about you being a failure, what's that about?"
Shrugging softly, Gabby ran her hand over the top of Sofia's head, clenching her jaw tightly as she tried to figure out how to express how she was feeling. "Because this is all so easy for you, and I barely feel like I'm keeping it together… I'm not keeping it together. It's all just so hard, and, I mean, I knew it was going to be, but it's just- it's harder than I could've ever thought… I don't feel like I'm a very good mom to her sometimes."
"That's not true." Matt spoke instantly, shaking his head as he squeezed her legs again, getting her to look up at him.
"But that's what it feels like." She murmured, sighing deeply. "It feels like the only thing I'm good at is this." She continued, gesturing towards Sofia, who was still feeding, Matt's eyes shining with sadness. "You're the one getting up with her in the middle of the night to change her, and console her, and burp her after I've finished feeding her. You're doing all of that, and I want to be able to help more, I want to be able to do more, but-"
"You're still recovering, Gabby." He interjected softly.
"I had surgery a month ago, I've recovered enough." She countered, Matt shaking his head as he blew out a soft sigh.
"You and I both heard Dr. Tanner when she said it takes around six weeks to recover from a c-section, and how it would probably be longer for you. You went through more than most women normally do, physically and emotionally." He said gently, Gabby avoiding his eye contact. "And it's not even just the surgery, it's everything before. It's everything you dealt with during this pregnancy, it's everything this pregnancy meant for you, what all you had to come to terms with..." He spoke softly, Gabby taking a deep breath as she met his eyes again. "You need time to heal baby, from all of it."
"But I'm fine." She responded frustratedly, shaking her head. "I'm okay, I'm here with you and Sofia. I didn't die, we have the life we always dreamed of, I shouldn't be feeling like this... I don't feel like myself and I hate it." She breathed out, Matt picking up on confusion and a bit of anger in her words, knowing this was all the more difficult because she didn't understand what was going on in her own head. "And I feel stupid, and guilty, for feeling this way, but I can't help it. I don't feel like I'm good at this. And I hate that I actually feel jealous because of how easy all this is for you, because you're so amazing at this and Sofia deserves that. I just wish I could be that for her too, but I don't feel like I am and I don't know what's wrong with me." The words left her mouth faster than her brain could catch up, Matt watching her with sympathetic eyes, clearly trying to digest everything she'd just laid out. She hadn't meant to throw that all at him that quickly, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't feel a little better.
"There's nothing wrong with you." He answered sadly, rubbing his hand over her leg. "And this isn't stupid. This is hard, there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling."
"But Sofia deserves better than-"
"Sofia deserves a mom who loves her with everything she has." He cut her off, Gabby swallowing thickly. "She deserves a mom who takes care of her, who tries her hardest every day for her. And that's what she has. She has the most amazing mother. She has you." Matt spoke strongly, blinking back the tears in his own eyes, hating to see her this lost. He knew she'd been struggling at times since Sofia was born, but he didn't know it was anything like this. "This has all been crazy, and there are times I feel like you do, where it's all just too much. Obviously, I have no way to know what all of this has been like for you, but I do understand feeling like you're a bad parent." He told her, Gabby meeting his eyes. "There's day I feel completely lost, that I'm barely figuring this out as we go along. I feel like a mess, too. Hell, I am a mess… All of this had been so overwhelming and hard, and I never thought it was possible to function on this little sleep, but we're trying our best, yeah?" He asked her, earning a slow nod from her.
"Yeah."
"Yeah." He repeated with a soft smile. "We can't do any more than that. Trust me, there's been days where it feels like I have no idea what I'm doing, especially this last week, but then I look at her and I look at you and it's just… I don't know how to explain it, but it makes me feel like everything will be fine, that you and I are both figuring this out together and that's all we can do. Sofia is one incredibly lucky girl to have the mother she does, the mother who risked her own life to bring her into this world," Gabby blinked back the tears sitting in her eyes, the action proving useless as a few escaped anyhow. "You have done everything you could for her from the moment we found out you were pregnant. You were there for her when I wasn't handling this pregnancy well… And you have done that every day since. There is not a single person in this world that Sofia loves more than you, baby. Yeah, I'm a close second, but I've got nothing on you. She is in love with you, because you're her Momma, and she knows you will always protect her. You're the first person she wants when she wakes up, you're the person she wants before she falls asleep. You're everything to her." He preached, thankful to see a genuine, warm smile break through the tears. "You and I, we're all she knows. We're her entire world, and all we can do is try our hardest every day to take care of her. And I think we've done a pretty damn good job of that… you have done an amazing job."
Gabby nodded firmly, more stray tears falling down her cheeks as she reached her arm out towards him, Matt grabbing ahold of her hand instantly. "Thank you." She murmured, Matt smiling softly, pushing himself up to press a gentle kiss to her lips, Gabby reciprocating the gesture. Matt stayed in the hunched position for as long as he could, knowing how much his wife needed this at the moment, but he reluctantly had to pull away, Matt returning to his seat on the foot rest.
Once seated, Matt glanced to Sofia, seeing their daughter still nursing, completely unfazed by the movement around her as she held onto her mom. The sight alone brought a smile to his face, this image just cementing the fact that every word he'd just told Gabby was completely true. The most important person in Sofia's life was the woman she clung to, little Sofia craving the contact with her mother.
Tearing his eyes away from their precious girl, Matt looked up to Gabby, seeing her teary eyes also focused on their daughter, his wife wearing a small smile as she stroked her thumb across Sofia's cheek.
"She is so in love with you, Gabby." He murmured, Gabby blinking tightly as she looked to her husband. "I'm sorry you've been feeling like this, I'm so sorry. But I'll tell you as much as you need me to, you are an absolutely incredible mother. It's been challenging, this past week especially, but you are doing such a great job with her. I am so proud of you, I hope you know that." He breathed out, seeing her give him a soft nod, Matt seeing a shift in her demeanor compared to half an hour ago.
"I do... I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner, just everything with her- it's all just been a lot to try and manage."
"I know, and you don't have anything to apologize for. Sofia's kind of taken it out of us here lately, but even if it's been days of no sleep, and we're tired, and I'm probably grumpy," His words brought a lighthearted smile to her lips, both of them knowing just how much truth his statement held. Though they could both get irritable when they lacked rest, Matt was definitely the more grumpy out of the two. "But no matter what the situation is, I'm right here. You know I'm always here for you."
"I do." She murmured, reaching out for his hand once more, Matt resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward.
"And, just so we're on the same page, you have never failed me." He told her firmly, Gabby's bottom lip falling in between her teeth as she breathed deeply. "Never. Not once. I never want you thinking that." Gabby gave him a nod, Matt squeezing her hand tightly. "You have never failed me, and you have definitely never failed her." He continued strongly, needing her to believe what he was saying.
"Thank you… For everything." She responded, Matt nodding softly. "And I hope you know I feel the exact same way about you." She spoke, seeing him raise his eyebrows. "You're the best dad in the world, Sofia is so lucky… I'm so lucky." The words left her lips quietly, Matt's grin widening as he lifted up her hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "The things you said about how Sofia is with me, she's the exact same way with you… She loves you so much."
"The feeling is mutual." He replied, Gabby giving him a grin. "She does have some pretty amazing parents, if I do say so myself." His words turned light, earning a soft chuckle from Gabby as she looked down at their daughter, seeing her begin to pull away from her mom's chest.
"Yeah, I guess we're not half bad." She joked back, beginning to adjust Sofia in her arms, the girl automatically fussing.
"I got her." Matt murmured, Gabby nodding as she handed Sofia off to her husband, Matt grabbing a burping cloth and throwing it over his shoulder before cradling Sofia to his body, beginning to pat her back. "Yeah, you're okay. You're okay." He murmured to his daughter, doing what he could to help her.
While Sofia was being taken care of, Gabby adjusted her clothes, stretching out her back before relaxing into the chair, unable to take her eyes off her husband and baby. "I know you don't mind it, but I do want you to know how appreciative I am of how much you're doing for her… for us." She murmured, Matt glancing towards her with a bright smile.
"I know." He replied, continuing to gently pat Sofia's back. "But really, there's nothing you need to feel guilty about. I love taking care of her, and, yeah, maybe I'm doing more during the night right now, but you're the one feeding her. Which I know is draining, and you do so much for her during the day, too." He told her, wiping off Sofia's mouth while he spoke, the little girl having spit up. "Raising her, it's not about us splitting the work evenly, all that matters is that we're taking care of her to the best of our ability, and we are. You do more for her than I ever could, I don't want you thinking otherwise."
Gabby nodded slowly, her chest filling with warmth at the sight of Matt and their daughter. There was a lot going on in her head that she didn't understand right now, but one thing she was sure of was that there was no other person on this planet that she'd want to experience this all with. Matt was the most amazing father, and husband, and she knew how lucky she was to have him. She just wished she could do more to show him that.
"Are you alright?"
Gabby snapped from her thoughts when she heard his voice, her eyes coming into focus as she found his concerned eyes on her.
"You seemed to space out there for a second, is there something else you need to talk about?" He asked softly, his voice coated in worry. His words alone brought a soft smile to her face, Matt clearly confused by her reaction, but he matched her grin, his head tilting to the side slightly.
"No, no it's nothing else… I was just thinking about you, and how lucky I am. How lucky we are." She spoke, her eyes landing on Sofia as Matt was still methodically patting her back. "And how I wish I wasn't feeling like this." She added, the frown soon returning back to his lips. "I know I can't help it, it's not like I'm choosing to feel like way, I just- I don't know, I wish it was easier. I want to be able to enjoy every minute of this."
"I know you do." He murmured.
"I guess it's just hard because I don't understand it… a lot of the time I'm fine, but then other times I just feel… completely lost. But I'm trying, I really am."
"I know you are." He responded quickly. "I've never doubted that, not for a second. You can't help how you're feeling." He told her, Gabby giving him a slow nod as he pulled Sofia away from his chest, the little girl looking exhausted after her meal.
Without a word, Gabby held out her arms, Matt understanding her silent request as he handed Sofia over to her mother, knowing it would probably do Gabby some good to spend more time with their daughter. He watched with a bright grin as Gabby got Sofia situated in her arms, the little girl nuzzling herself into her mom's chest as Gabby leaned down, resting her head against Sofia's. Gabby was gently rubbing her hand over Sofia's back, the newborn stretching out as she made herself comfortable.
"Do you, uh…" He started, Gabby glancing to him as she waited for him to continue. "Do you think we should talk to Dr. Tanner about this? About how you've been feeling?" Matt questioned gently, Gabby releasing a heavy breath as she shrugged softly.
"I don't know, probably." She murmured, Matt placing his hands on her knees.
"I just want you to be okay. And I know this is something that might pass on it's own, but, I uh… when I was looking into everything before we had Sofia, I saw a lot about postpartum depression..." He spoke cautiously, Gabby not giving much in the form of a reaction, Matt watching her continuously rub over Sofia's back. "And what you're feeling, it might not be that, but it couldn't hurt for us to talk to Dr. Tanner, see if we can figure this out." Matt told her, giving her knee a gentle squeeze, the action bringing her gaze up to meet his. "I just wanna know you're alright, that's all that's important here." He finished, Gabby giving him a nod.
"We can talk to her." She responded, Matt rubbing his thumb over the inside of her knee. "If anyone can help, she can."
"Yeah, I think so too." He replied with a supportive smile. "Your check up is in a few days, right?" He asked for clarification, Gabby giving him a nod.
"Yeah, four days."
"Good, good." He murmured, looking back towards his daughter. "Is she asleep?"
"She's passed out." Gabby answered, Matt nodding as he stood up.
"Let's get her to bed, hopefully we can get a few hours of sleep before she's up again." He spoke softly, carefully taking Sofia from Gabby's arms. He knew his words were generous, that if the last couple of nights were any indication, it wouldn't be long until Sofia woke up crying, but, for both their sakes, he was praying Sofia would get some sleep tonight.
Walking slowly, Matt began the trek towards their bedroom, Gabby following close behind as they made their way through the apartment, both parents desperate to get to bed as quickly as they could, knowing they were on borrowed time before Sofia would be up again.
Matt kept his hand firmly over Sofia's stomach as his daughter was leaned against his chest, her back pressed into him as he held underneath her, making sure to keep a firm grip while the little girl surveyed her new surroundings. Today was the day of Sofia's first doctor's appointment, and the family had arrived a little early so Gabby could fill out all the necessary paperwork, which she was currently finishing up while Matt kept Sofia entertained. Although it wasn't so much him keeping her entertained than it was the few toddlers playing a few feet in front of them, the young children playing with the various toys around the doctor's office, Sofia finding their actions quite captivating.
When they first arrived to the doctor's office nearly twenty minutes ago, Sofia had been sound asleep, the drive over here lulling the girl into a deep slumber as it so often did. But with the noise of other children around her, she soon woke up and began fussing, not liking being restrained in her car seat. Casey had picked her up, trying to distract her while Gabby continued filling out all the papers, but Sofia wouldn't stop fussing. No matter how he tried to hold her, she wouldn't quiet down, not until he'd placed her against his chest, letting her look out at the world around her, and as soon as he did that, she calmed down. So he kept her in this position, his hand supporting her body while he rubbed over her chest and stomach, Matt keeping her at a leaned position so her head was supported.
While Sofia was intrigued by the world around her, Matt glanced to Gabby, his eyes moving over the paperwork she was nearly done with, seeing she'd finished filling out all of her information and his information, and she was down to the last bit.
Moving his eyes upward, he saw the concentrated look covering her face, a soft smile pulling on his lips when he noticed her tongue poking out between her teeth, Gabby diligently writing across the paper.
In the couple of days since their talk, Matt had noticed Gabby's mood improve a little bit. She seemed lighter, like she wasn't being weighed down by all those negative thoughts filling her mind, and she'd seemed happier. He knew things with her weren't fixed, that she hadn't magically gotten better just because she told him what was going on, but he did think their talk helped her. As far as he could tell it had, at least. He knew they still needed to talk with Dr. Tanner, he wouldn't feel better until he knew for sure what was going on with her, but it had been nice to see her a little less stressed, as much as she could be with a newborn.
"What are you staring at?"
Gabby's soft voice snapped him from his thoughts, Matt seeing her watching him with raised eyebrows, a gentle grin resting over her face. His own smile widened, Matt rubbing Sofia's stomach as he tilted his head to the side.
"My beautiful wife." He responded, watching as she ducked her head in what he seemed to partial annoyance and partial embarrassment.
"Uh huh, I'm sure." She responded, reaching out and running her hand over Sofia's head, the girl unfazed by her mother's actions, little Sofia too focused on the new environment around her, the girl's blue eyes wide with wonder.
"What? Isn't that my right as your husband, to be able to stare at you whenever I want?" He asked, Gabby scoffing lightly as she moved her hand down to Sofia's, the little girl instinctively gripping her mother's finger tightly in her fist. Apparently getting bored with the children around her, Sofia began pulling her mother's finger towards her open mouth, Gabby chuckling before she reached down into the diaper bag, pulling out a pacifier.
"Yeah, how about you use this instead, baby." She murmured, pulling her hand away from Sofia's mouth, the little girl fussing until her mom put the pacifier between her lips, the baby beginning to suck eagerly on the object. Matt held it in place so Gabby could sit back, both of them knowing Sofia couldn't keep it there on her own, their daughter going back to watching the people around her while she held onto Gabby's finger with a death grip.
"How old is she?"
Matt and Gabby glanced up from their daughter at the sound of the young voice, seeing a little girl who couldn't have been older than six standing right in front of them, the girl's pigtails moving as she bounced on her feet.
"She's a month old." Gabby responded with a smile, the young girl matching her grin.
"Wow, she's so little." She spoke, smiling wider when she looked back towards their daughter, seeing the baby's eyes widen when she saw the girl watching her. "What's her name?"
"Sofia." Gabby answered, the little girl taking a step closer, her dress swaying as she moved. "What's your name, honey?"
"Hanna." She responded with a toothy grin, Sofia beginning to move her arms around as she watched young Hanna.
"I think she likes you." Matt spoke lightly, seeing the look of pure excitement spread across Hanna's face, her eyes widening in delight.
"Really?" She spoke, Matt and Gabby both nodding.
"Hanna, honey come here." A woman around Gabby's age said as she came over, the Casey's assuming this to be the girl's mother.
"Mommy, Sofia likes me! Her Mommy and Daddy said so!" She said excitedly, the older woman coming to stand beside Hanna.
"I'm sorry for bothering you, she's always loved babies." Hanna's mother apologized, Gabby waving her off.
"Oh no, she's fine. You have a wonderful little girl." Dawson spoke, the older woman smiling graciously as she placed a hand on Hanna's shoulder. "Thanks for coming to say hi, Hanna." Gabby spoke to the little girl, watching as her bright smile widened even more.
"You're welcome!" She spoke animatedly. "Nice to meet you, Sofia." She spoke, patting Sofia's onesie-covered foot gently. "And nice to meet you, Sofia's Mommy and Daddy."
"It was nice to meet you too, Hanna." Matt spoke, Hanna flashing him another grin before being led away by her mother, Casey watching her as she walked away.
"She was so cute." Gabby murmured, Matt nodding in agreement as he saw Hanna sit down, the young girl waving at him once her little body got settled into the chair that was to big for her, Matt grabbing Sofia's hand and waving back, seeing Hanna smile excitedly once more.
"Yeah, she's adorable… She looks a lot like Sofia." Matt responded, Gabby giving him an agreeing nod. Little Hanna did look a lot like their daughter, the young girl having a near exact complexion to their Sofia, the girl's curly brown hair and small stature making it easy for them to envision Sofia at her age.
"Sofia Casey."
The parents looked up when they heard the nurse say their daughter's name, Matt standing up with Sofia, holding his daughter in one hand while grabbing her car seat with the other, Gabby carrying the diaper bag and their paperwork as they walked over.
"Hi, I'm Lizzie, I'm one of Dr. Mitchell's nurses, I'll be helping take care of Sofia today." She told them as they walked back, the woman taking them to their room. When they got inside, Matt placed the car seat down on the ground beside the exam table, Gabby placing her things down as well, the nurse taking the paperwork from Dawson. "If you could get Sofia down to just her diaper, we're gonna go weigh her and do some other measurements." She instructed warmly, Matt nodding as he carefully placed Sofia down on the table, the girl squirming around.
Sofia put up a bit of a fight, but Matt managed to get her undressed, leaving her onesie on the table as Gabby took little Sofia, the parents following her back out into the hallway. They got her weight first, Sofia not liking being left on the table, the little girl beginning to whimper as she waved her arms around, Gabby placing her hand back on Sofia's body as soon as she could, her touch comforting her daughter.
"You're okay." Gabby murmured, picking up Sofia and cradling her to her chest, the little girl nuzzling herself into her mother, now unsure of her new surroundings.
After getting her weight, they went back to the room, Matt sitting on the edge of the exam table while Gabby laid Sofia down on it, Lizzie beginning to process of taking her measurements. For as much as little Sofia didn't enjoy getting weighed, she hated getting her head measured much more, the baby crying when the unfamiliar item got wrapped around her head.
But soon enough it was over, Sofia having some time before she'd be examined again, Lizzie marking down everything before leaving the room, Sofia having ended up in her father's arms as they waited for Dr. Mitchell.
Matt was still seated on the table, Gabby leaning her weight into it beside him as he held Sofia in his lap, similar to the way he'd been holding her out in the waiting room, their daughter just now having calmed down.
"She did not like that at all." Matt spoke softly, rubbing his warm hand over her bare chest, trying to make sure she wasn't getting too cold.
"If she reacted like that to getting her head measured, she's gonna absolutely hate getting her shots." Gabby spoke, chuckling as she watched her husband's face pale, Matt blowing out a breath before he leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Oh, baby girl, you have no idea what's coming." He murmured, Gabby laughing once more as she placed her hand on his shoulder, rubbing across the back of his neck.
The parents weren't left waiting too much longer until the door opened again, seeing a young man, maybe a little younger than Matt, walk in with a warm smile on his face, the man closing the door behind him.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Kevin Mitchell, it's nice to finally meet you all." He spoke, shaking Gabby's hand and nodding to Matt, knowing he had his hands full with the baby.
"Yeah, it's nice to finally put a face with the voice. I'm Gabby, and this is my husband, Matt."
"Pleasure to meet you. And this must be Sofia." He spoke, patting the girl's leg, Sofia's eyes widening as she finally registered the new presence in the room, the baby having been too distracted hitting against her dad's hand to notice him. "She's a beautiful little girl."
"Thank you." Gabby murmured as Matt ran his hand across Sofia's stomach.
"Let me take a look at her, and then we can talk, that sound good?" Dr. Mitchell instructed, the parents nodding as Matt laid Sofia back on the bed, the little girl intrigued by everything that was going on around her.
Starting at her head, Dr. Mitchell began his complete exam, Sofia handling it surprisingly well as he checked everything from the top of her body to the bottom, the man writing down his notes as he went along. Within twenty minutes, he had finished his physical exam, Sofia clothed in a fresh diaper and her onesie, the little girl content as she sat in her mother's lap and sucked on her pacifier, Gabby holding it against her mouth.
"Well, first let me say that, from what I can tell, you've got a very healthy little girl." He spoke, Gabby and Matt both nodding with a gentle smile. "We have all her information from when she was in the hospital, and I've spoken extensively with Dr. Tanner, as well as her doctor from when she was in the NICU, so I have about all the information I can about her first few weeks. I know she was premature, and a pretty small baby, but she's been gaining weight pretty well. She's up a little less than a pound from when she was born, which for her size, is really good. She is a little underweight, but from where she started, she's doing well... I saw in your file that you're exclusively breastfeeding?"
"Yes, we are. Aside from a few days where we were both in the hospital and I wasn't able to feed her, she's only had breastmilk." Gabby explained, Dr. Mitchell nodding with a soft smile.
"And how often is she feeding?"
"Well, we had gotten into a pretty good rhythm for a bit, she'd eat every two to three hours, but then this past week or so it's been a lot more, but I don't think it's been because of hunger, I think she's been comfort feeding, I guess is what you'd call it." She spoke, earning a nod from Sofia's doctor. "I know we've talked about her colic issues, or if that's what it is, but ever since that started she's been comfort feeding a lot." Gabby finished, Dr. Mitchell writing some things down in his notes before returning his attention back to the parents.
"Yeah, I do see that sometimes, it's not uncommon, and I've seen it a lot in colic-y babies. Which, from what I can tell, is exactly what this is. I don't see any other potential problems, I believe she just has colic, which there's not much we can do until she grows out of it, but I do see a lot of babies who comfort feed. There's nothing wrong with it, contrary to popular belief. Sometimes babies just need their mother's." He explained, Gabby and Matt both nodding. "Babies can get overwhelmed just like we can, and with her colic issues, I'm sure that's part of it as well. She just wants her mom. But I know sometimes that can get difficult, physically and mentally, on you, Gabby." He spoke, Gabby giving him another nod.
"Yeah, it's been a lot. I mean, I'm happy to do it, if that's what she needs, but it has been kind of stressful at times." She admitted, Dr. Mitchell giving her a sympathetic smile.
"That's completely normal. I know there's only so much you can do if she's needing to feed, or wanting to, but what I usually recommend is doing skin to skin with her Gabby, and you as well, Matt. But give her a pacifier to suckle on instead of you, Gabby. It should still have the same effect, and give you a break." He told them, Gabby nodding in response. "And if that doesn't seem to be working, you can always trick her a little bit. Hold her like you're going to feed her, let her be in that position but just have the pacifier up against your chest and let her have that. Sometimes with comfort feeding, the position for feeding is just as comforting as the feeding itself, so that should definitely help give you a little break."
"That sounds great, yeah." She breathed out, already feeling relieved at the thought of getting a break. And she knew it would be good for Matt too, to let him get more close contact time with Sofia.
"Now, I also got a good listen to her lungs, and everything sounded good. She's breathing well. I know after that respiratory infection, her lungs had been an issue, and with premature babies there's always a worry about underdeveloped lungs, but she sounds great. From everything I heard and felt, little Sofia is a perfectly healthy little girl."
"Good." Matt responded, rubbing his thumb over Sofia's arm.
While both of them knew Sofia was more than likely fine, it was nice to have the confirmation from her doctor. It gave both of the new parents the reassurance they needed, the two knowing that would be a weight off their mind now.
"And with the colic, I know how stressful that can be for parents, especially new parents." He told them softly. "Like I said, there's not much you two can do except wait it out, but I know it's been difficult. Just try and manage as well as you can, lean on your support systems. Take breaks when possible. I know all that is easier said than done, but you'll be alright. Sofia is okay, she's perfectly fine, it's more so a matter of you two getting through this than her." Dr. Mitchell explained, Gabby and Matt both nodding. "There are some things you can do to help her, though."
"Okay."
"I can give you some pamphlets, and show you all how, but massaging her stomach can help relieve some of the gas she has trapped in her system, which'll help with her discomfort. You can also pedal her legs, that'll help as well. Also taking a bath with her works well, as long as you're careful. If she likes baths, the combination of that comfort, along with one of you, honestly works wonders. Especially if you try that before bed." He explained to them, the parents trying to take in all the information.
"I have more information I can give you all once we're done, I know this is a lot, but hopefully some of that will help." He finished, earning nods from both of them, Gabby gently bouncing Sofia in her lap.
The appointment carried on, Dr. Mitchell asking them all about Sofia and her schedule; how much she slept, how often she went to the bathroom, how long her crying fits would last. Dr. Mitchell needed to know everything, so they gave him as detailed answers as they could, them spending nearly another half hour with the man as he learned all he could about Sofia.
"Now, I don't need you back here until her two month check up, but she is going to be getting some vaccines today before you go." He told them as he stood up, Gabby and Matt both nodding. "If you can just unbutton her onesie, and get her legs free, I'm gonna go get Lizzie back in here and we'll get her those shots so you all can get out of here.
"Thank you, Dr. Mitchell."
"Of course." He told them, flashing them both a smile before he left the room, Gabby and Matt getting Sofia ready to get her shots.
It took another ten minutes for Sofia to get her shots, and she reacted worse than her parent's could've ever imagined. They were expecting it, they knew she'd hate it, but the screams that came from their little girl left them both unsettled, Sofia not calming down even in the comforting hold of her mother.
Sofia was still in tears by the time they got out of the office, Matt opting to carry her out to their car instead of putting her back in the car seat, wanting to comfort his daughter after the traumatic experience she just went through.
But, thankfully, by the time they got to the car, Sofia had calmed down, the girl nearly asleep as Matt strapped into her seat, the family soon getting loaded up into the car, Matt and Gabby both eager to get back to the apartment and just be at home with their little girl.
A chill ran through Gabby's body as she stepped out of the shower, reaching for her towel and beginning to dry her tired body off, her previously tight muscles feeling much more relaxed after her long, hot shower.
She hadn't been planning on staying in there as long as she did, but when Matt came in to check on her about fifteen minutes ago and assured her Sofia was still sleeping soundly, she mentioned something about enjoying her shower a little longer, which Matt instantly encouraged. So she ended up staying under the hot water for a few extra minutes, Gabby now feeling refreshed and relaxed.
"Damn."
His short word was followed by a whistle, Gabby narrowing her eyes as she wrapped her towel around her body, shielding her from his view as she glanced towards her husband, seeing him leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest. Matt's smile widened when he saw her glare, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.
"Hello gorgeous."
"Yeah, now I know you're not talking to me." She replied, walking towards the counter. Matt stepped inside as well, coming up to stand behind her, moving her wet hair off to the side before placing his hands on her hips. Gabby tensed slightly before relaxing, Matt moving his hands across her sides and her stomach.
"I am absolutely talking to you." He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to her damp shoulder, slowly trailing his kisses towards her neck. A gentle grin fell onto her face as he continued kissing against her skin, Gabby continuing to relax as his hands slowly roamed her body, being mindful not to touch too low near her scars.
It had been awhile since they'd been able to be together as intimately as they wanted, since before Gabby's accident while on the job at 51, and even though they both knew it couldn't go much farther than this, it was nice to be this close again. To be close without Gabby's body being inhabited by another person, for it to just be the two of them; it was nice, and they both missed it more than they realized. Even though she still wasn't entirely confident in herself.
In the month since she'd given birth, she had definitely lost a lot of the extra weight hanging around from Sofia, breastfeeding having helped a lot with that. But she still had a little bit of a belly, and some of her skin was a little looser than it had been before. She knew Matt didn't care, he'd never cared, but she was still adjusting to the fact that her body would most likely never return to how it had been before.
But feeling Matt's lips on her skin, and his hands moving over her body without a care in the world, she knew the changes in her appearance didn't matter to him one bit, and eventually she knew they wouldn't to her either.
Matt groaned against her skin, his lips holding onto her neck before he reluctantly pulled away, resting his chin on her shoulder as his arms wrapped around her stomach, Gabby placing her hands over his.
"Your shirt is probably getting wet." She spoke softly, Matt chuckling as he pressed another kiss to her skin.
"Worth it." He murmured against her. "I have a surprise for you, by the way."
"Oh yeah?" She asked with a smirk, Matt nodding slowly.
"Yeah… I may have had some ulterior motives to you staying in the shower longer." He replied vaguely, Gabby raising her eyebrows.
"And what might those be?"
"You get dressed and I'll show you." He responded, nodding towards the clothes she'd brought in, Matt pulling back from her as Gabby turned around to face him.
"What'd you do?"
"It's nothing much, but you'll see." He told her, pressing a firm kiss to her lips before walking towards the door. "Let me know when you're done." He called after walking from the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She knew he hadn't closed the door for her benefit, so whatever he'd done had to have been in the bedroom, Gabby shaking her head in amusement before she went through the process of getting ready for bed.
Changed into a pair of comfortable shorts and one of Matt's t-shirts, Gabby hung up her towel before walking towards the door. "Matt." She kept her voice relatively low, even though she knew Sofia wasn't in the bedroom, their daughter having fallen asleep in her swing in the living room. But still, she didn't want to be too loud, just in case. "Can I come out now?"
Matt pushed the door open, taking her by surprise as he wore a soft grin on his face. "Hi." He spoke, Gabby raising her eyebrows.
"Hi. Can I come out now?" She asked again, Matt nodding as he moved behind her, covering her eyes with his hands. "Matt…"
"What?"
"Is this necessary?" She asked, huffing out a breath as he slowly began moving them forward, Gabby knowing they had gotten into the bedroom when she felt the change of flooring beneath her.
"Yes, it's a surprise." He responded, Gabby hearing the excitement in his voice, Matt moving her further into the room, the two coming to a stop after a few seconds. "Alright, now that we're here I'm realizing that I definitely overhyped this." He breathed out, Gabby chuckling as his hands stayed over her eyes. "This is really nothing and I'm understanding that now, and I feel a little stupid, but still, I hope you like it-"
"Babe." Gabby interrupted his rambling, feeling his breath on her neck as he let out a soft laugh.
"Right, sorry. Okay well, here you go."
Matt removed his hands from her face, Gabby slowly opening her eyes, coming face to face with the chair from Sofia's room now sitting in the corner of their bedroom. Her eyes narrowed in confusion, Gabby feeling Matt come to stand by her side.
"I figured it would be good to have in here while Sofia was sleeping in our room." He began explaining, Gabby looking up towards him. "I know it's your favorite place to nurse her, it's the most comfortable for both of you, and, I don't know, I thought it would be easier having it in here than you having to go to the nursery all the time. I should've done it weeks ago, I don't know why it didn't occur to me until now to do it, but I thought it would be easier on the both of you, since the only reason we go to that side of the apartment is to nurse her." He spoke, Gabby grinning softly. "We'll put it back in there eventually, but for now I thought you might like it here. If not, I can move it back, I know we talked about how it was good to get Sofia acclimated to her room so if you want, I'll put it back, but I thought it would be helpful for you-"
Gabby cut him off with a kiss, her hands holding his cheeks as she held him against her, Matt smiling into her movement as his hands moved to her waist, the two getting lost in each other for a few moments.
"Thank you." She whispered against his lips, kissing him again quickly before pulling back. "I love it, thank you."
She felt a warmth flood her body when she saw the goofy grin form over his face, Matt nodding as he rubbed his hand over her back.
"Of course, yeah, it's nothing. I just know all that back and forth to the nursery wasn't the most fun, so now you can both be comfortable in here." He responded with a shrug, Gabby rubbing her hands over his chest before sliding them down around his back, bringing her body into his. Matt reciprocated the gesture, wrapping his arms around her back, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I love you."
"I love you, too." She whispered against his neck, placing a kiss against his skin.
Their quiet moment was soon interrupted by the sound of their daughter's cries flooding in through the open doorway, the parents pulling back from one another, Gabby rubbing over his lower back before stepping away from him.
"You want me to get her?" He asked, Gabby shaking her head as she moved towards the door.
"No, I'm sure she's just hungry. I'm gonna get her and bring her back, you know, since I can nurse her in here now." She spoke with an appreciative grin, Matt matching her smile as she disappeared through the doorway. Releasing a soft chuckle, Casey went back to the laundry he'd been folding while she was in the shower, listening to the sounds of Gabby soothing their daughter out in the living room.
Well, what do you think? I really enjoyed this one, I hope you guys did to.
When I'm writing this story, before I do anything I always try and picture in my head how my scenes would play out on screen, and that's how I kind of follow with how to write them. It's always fun for me to think about it that way, and I think it helps me stay true to the characters, as well. I dunno, kind of just a random little thought for you guys.
That is one reason I wish we could've gotten to see this story play out for Dawsey on screen, aside from the obvious reasons, but I would've loved to see how they handled taking care of their newborn. Obviously, in my story, Gabby's been through more than she would've gone through on the show, so that's an added factor in her mental state, but I still could see her struggling a bit to the adjustment of motherhood. That's why I've chosen to write her this way, because I could totally see that being the case. But, we'll never know how it would've played out I guess. I just hope you guys are liking how this is going so far.
Thank you all so much for reading and for continuing to support this story. It means the world, I can't wait to hear your thoughts on everything. See you all next time.