Animatus
Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming! Also, to address a reviewer's question, I do plan to continue Standing on the Edge of Tomorrow. I wanted to write this story first and try to get some ideas together for it. I vaguely know where I want to go with it, but I am having a hard time trying to iron out details. But yes, I do plan to continue with that series sometime in the near future.
Previously:
Softly, Buffy pressed her lips against Faith's forehead. Pulling away, she opened her car door and stepped out onto the street. Faith watched her for several long moments before doing the same. The cold night air hit her face, instantly drying her cheeks of her lingering tears. The nightly wailing of the zombies had begun. It chilled Faith to the bones. She wondered if Anya's voice was raised among them now. "Are you coming?" Buffy asked, looking back at her expectantly as Riley and the others filed into the Bronze. The soldier who opened the door seemed pleased to see Riley. "Come on," Buffy said, reaching out her hand towards Faith. Faith hesitatingly took a step forward and laced her fingers with the blonde Slayer's. "I'm right here with you."
Chapter Eleven: Home Sweet Home:
Snowflakes were falling gently when Faith began to walk to school. The previous week's snow had melted mostly, though it still piled in dirty grey here and there on the sidewalks and in the gutters. Clad in a ripped, long sleeved shirt, the little girl wrapped her arms tightly around her body, trying vainly to warm herself in the freezing temperatures. She had never owned a coat. She remembered a winter a few years ago, when her mother had promised to buy her a new coat for Christmas. Faith had waited excitedly for Christmas morning, but when the day arrived, nothing waited for her. She had never asked her mother about the coat, but the woman had been oddly kind to her for a month afterwards, glancing at her guilty when she thought that the little girl was not looking.
Faith walked quickly. Every morning, she met Christy at the bus stop. She and the other girl had become fast friends, though Faith still wondered why the girl had even bothered to speak with her. Though she had seemed shy at first, once she became comfortable with Faith, Christy had blossomed. Faith looked forward to waiting with her at the bus stop every morning. For the first time in a long time, she eagerly anticipated school. She turned a corner and the bus stop came into view. Instantly, she knew that something was wrong. A circle of boys, a grade ahead of her, had formed a circle around the bus stop. Through their taunts and haughty laughter, she heard the sound of someone crying softly.
Anger boiled up inside of her. Dropping her books in the dirty snow, she ran forward. She reached the circle and pushed the nearest boy. He fell forward, scraping his knees on the sidewalk. "Leave her alone!" Faith shouted. Christy was kneeling in the center of the circle, crying desperately, as the boys kicked at her and pushed her. A small stream of blood was running down from a cut on her cheek.
"What're you gonna do?" One of the boys sneered. He roughly pushed her and Faith found herself tumbling backwards. Her back collided with the ground and, suddenly, she could not breathe.
"Faith!" She heard Christy yell. The boy advanced and Faith pulled herself to her feet. Before she knew what she was doing, her hand curled into a fist and she threw her arm towards him. Her fist connected with his nose, which snapped in a sickening crack. Blood spurted from his face, staining the snow red. The boy cried out and backed away, joining his friends as they ran down the sidewalk away from the two girls. Faith looked down at her shaking hand in wonder. She had never hit anyone. Snapping out of her daze, she moved forward, and knelt down next to Christy.
"You okay?" Faith asked, reaching forward with her trembling hand and touching the side of the other girl's face gently.
"Five by five," Christy nodded, sniffling softly as she rubbed the tears from her eyes. Faith smiled crookedly.
"What does that mean?" Faith asked, helping the other girl to her feet. Christy shrugged.
"I don't know," she replied, "but my daddy always says it."
"You're bleeding," Faith noted angrily.
"You saved me," Christy said gratefully. Faith flushed and looked down at the ground embarrassedly.
"It was nothing," she shrugged. Christy smiled and leaned forward, quickly planting a soft kiss on Faith's forehead.
"Thank you," she said. Faith felt her cheeks warm again and she smiled. She did not feel cold anymore. The school bus was lumbering down the street towards them. "I don't want to go to school," Christy said softly. "I don't want to see those boys."
"Let's skip then," Faith suggested as she retraced her steps and gathered up her wet books..
"We can go back to my house," Christy said hopefully. "My parents are at work."
"Okay," Faith nodded as Christy slipped her gloved hand into Faith's bare hand and led her down the sidewalk. Smiling, Faith let herself be led.
…………………………
"I'm right here with you," Buffy said softly, nodding encouragingly. Faith took a hesitating step forward and laced her fingers with Buffy's outstretched hand. Buffy squeezed the younger girl's hand tightly and led her into the Bronze. The door clanged closed behind them and, instantly, Faith felt Giles' eyes on her.
"Where is…?" Giles started, but Buffy interrupted.
"Now really isn't the time," she said emphatically. Faith looked down at the ground, uncomfortable with all of the eyes staring intently at her.
"Buffy," Joyce breathed in relief, rushing forward through the crowd of people that had gathered at the door of the Bronze. Taking her daughter in her arms, she hugged her tightly.
Buffy's reluctantly released Faith's hand and circled her arms around her mother's shoulders. "Mom," she sighed. She had tried to stop thinking about the people she loved, people who she had been convinced that she would never see again. Tears tumbled down her cheeks as she relaxed into her mother's embrace.
"I love you so much," Joyce whispered into her daughter's ear.
Buffy smiled against her shoulder. "I love you too, Mom," she whispered back.
"Hey," Liz said, walking up to Faith. "I see you made it back."
"Yeah," Faith nodded. "It's pretty rough out there," she said conversationally.
"You hungry?" Liz asked. She had noticed Anya's absence, as had everyone else at the Bronze, but she knew better than to question Faith as to what had happened to the other girl.
Faith smiled gratefully. "Starving," she replied. Casting a lingering glance back at Buffy, she slipped away into the shadows of the second floor with the younger girl.
After several long moments, Buffy pulled away from her mother and smiled over at Giles, rubbing the tears from her cheeks. "I'm so glad to see you," she said, pulling her Watcher into a quick embrace.
"And I you," Giles replied when Buffy released her grip on him and he could breathe again. "Riley," Giles said, noticing the young soldier standing awkwardly behind the blonde Slayer.
"Sir," Riley said, smiling as he shook Giles' hand.
"Hey Giles," Willow said tearfully, rushing forward, and throwing herself into the ex-librarian's arms. Giles smiled and hugged her tightly.
"It's alright," he said comfortingly. Willow pulled away embarrassedly and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.
"I'd like you to meet someone," she said, motioning for Tara step forward. Tara looked down at the ground and walked up hesitatingly, smiling slightly when she saw the kind look in Giles' eyes. "This is my girlfriend Tara," Willow said proudly.
"Tara," Giles repeated. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Tara smiled awkwardly and accepted his outstretched hand.
"Y-you too," she replied.
"And who is this?" Joyce asked pointedly, smiling at Riley.
"Oh," Buffy said, "this is my…this is Riley."
"Nice to meet you ma'am," Riley said, shaking Joyce's hand firmly.
"You too…finally," she added.
"I imagine you all are quite hungry and tired," Giles concluded. "We have some food upstairs, as well as some blankets. Welcome home, for now."
The group collectively began to walk towards the stairs leading to the second level. Buffy and Giles led the way. Looking around, Buffy frowned. "Where'd Faith go?" She asked anxiously.
"I don't know," Giles shrugged. "I'm sure she'll surface."
"What was it like out there?" Joyce asked worriedly.
"Bad," Buffy admitted. "I think we were the only people left alive at the college."
"Did you see anyone in town?" Giles asked.
Buffy shook her head. "No one alive, anyway."
"And Anya?" Joyce questioned, though she feared that she already knew the answer.
Buffy smiled sadly. "Anya was bitten when we were trying to get back to the Bronze. I don't know what happened to her in the end, she stayed behind to fight while we fled. She had a gun with her; I hope she used it before she turned."
"I'm so sorry," Giles shook his head.
"It really hit Faith hard. She and Anya must have bonded. She was sobbing in my arms in the back of the car," Buffy whispered to Giles.
"Really?" Giles asked curiously.
"I've never seen her cry before," Buffy continued. "I really believe her when she says that she's changed. Faith never would have done that if something in her wasn't different."
"I agree," Giles nodded. "On all accounts. Faith has changed. Though only time will tell how that change has affected her."
"I was hoping that you could do me a favor," Buffy said apprehensively.
"Anything," Giles offered sincerely.
"Could you talk to Willow?" She asked.
Giles frowned. "What about?"
"She's been really hard on Faith. On the one hand, part of me still thinks that Faith deserves it. But I know that she's sorry for the things that she did. A greater part of me just wants to forgive her and move on. It's too hard holding grudges, especially now. But Willow won't let it go," Buffy explained.
"Ah," Giles replied. "I see. I'll talk to her. Perhaps I can convince her to give Faith another chance."
"Hopefully," Buffy remarked.
Faith watched the group ascend the stairs to the second level. She was sitting in the shadows with Liz, absently munching on a sandwich. "So that's Buffy?" Liz asked.
"That's Buffy," Faith confirmed. "The vampire Slayer."
"I thought you said that you were the vampire Slayer?" Liz questioned confusedly.
"No," Faith shook her head. "I'm a Slayer. Buffy is the Slayer."
"What's the difference?" Liz asked.
"Hell if I know," Faith shrugged. "That's just the way it's always been."
"What happened out there?" Liz questioned quietly. Something changed in Faith's eyes; they became hard, yet sad at the same time.
"Anya was bitten," Faith murmured, dropping her sandwich back into its wrapper. Though she was hungry, she felt vaguely nauseous when she remembered the blood pouring from the wound on Anya's shoulder.
"Damn," Liz muttered.
"We had to leave her behind," Faith continued. "She was going to turn."
"Did she?" Liz asked.
"I don't know," Faith shrugged. "She kept one of the guns."
"This is pretty bad, isn't it?" Liz said softly. "I mean, we're not going to make it, are we?"
Faith smiled slightly. "I don't think so," she replied.
Liz nodded and looked down at the ground. "It's weird how your life can change so drastically in so little time. I was trying to pick colleges. I was planning my future. Now I don't have one."
"I never really planned anything," Faith said. "Things just seemed to happen to put me on certain paths. I've been running my whole life. I guess this really isn't all that different."
"What should we do?" Liz asked. "Sit here until our food runs out and we starve to death? Or wait until the zombies figure out that we're here? Or should we run and try to find some other safe place to stay for a while, until that becomes dangerous too?"
"I don't know," Faith said with frustration. "And I don't think that it's going to be my decision."
"What do you mean?" Liz asked curiously.
Faith nodded to the three soldiers, who had joined Riley on the second floor. They were talking amongst themselves, gesturing emphatically. "I think they've got a plan and I don't think that they're going to let anyone else have a say in it."
"I don't trust them," Liz mumbled.
"Me neither," Faith agreed. "But right now, we don't have a choice."
Buffy scanned the second level, hoping to find Faith. She could feel the other girl's energy buzzing inside of her mind. She focused on it, letting her eyes drift to a corner of the room, where she finally spotted Faith sitting in the shadows with a young girl. "Who is that?" Buffy asked, motioning to Liz.
"That's Liz," Joyce answered. "She and her father saved me when the zombies attacked. Until Faith came, we were hiding on the roof of the sporting goods store."
"Where's her father now?" Buffy inquired.
Joyce shook her head. "He didn't make it."
Buffy nodded, nibbling at her food. Willow and Tara were devouring their prepackaged sandwiches eagerly. It had been some time since they had eaten anything substantial. Giles watched Buffy with interest. "You're concerned for her, aren't you?" He asked quietly.
"Who?" She asked, looking over at him. He was sitting next to her, lighting one of the many candles littering the Bronze with a match. Night was descending on Sunnydale and the club was cloaked in dark shadows. Tiny candles flickered everywhere, providing the only light.
"Faith," Giles answered.
"I'll be back," Buffy muttered, dodging the question, and rising to her feet. She walked over to where Faith was sitting and stood awkwardly before the dark haired Slayer and her young companion. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked, after several long moments of silence. Liz looked back and forth between the two women and smiled slightly.
"I'm kinda tired anyway," she said, faking a yawn. "I think I'm gonna go back with the others."
Before Faith could respond, Liz was walking away, and Buffy had sat down next to her. "Are you okay?" Buffy asked, looking over at her concernedly.
"Five by five," Faith muttered, picking at her sandwich again.
"Aren't you hungry?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah," Faith acknowledged. "I just don't think that I can eat right now."
Buffy sighed deeply. "I'm sorry about Anya," she said softly.
Faith felt tears stinging her eyes again and looked down. "Me too," she murmured.
"It's okay, you know," Buffy said, looking down at the floor as well, "if you want to talk to me…about anything. I'll listen this time."
"You promise?" Faith asked, looking over at her keenly.
"I promise," Buffy nodded, catching her eyes. Buffy could feel the intensity of the other girl's gaze piercing her very soul. That intensity had scared the blonde Slayer at first, back when Faith had just arrived in Sunnydale, but now she found it comforting. Its familiarity soothed her. She studied Faith's face, noticing her full, red lips. They were parted slightly and Buffy could hear her breathing gently, air escaping from her mouth. Looking up into Faith's eyes, Buffy was surprised to see a wealth of emotions lingering in them. She could not recognize many of the things flitting through Faith's face at that moment, but she clearly saw the sadness lying underneath of everything. "Come here," Buffy said, shifting so that her legs were folded underneath her. "Lay down."
"What?" Faith asked in confusion.
"Just do it," Buffy said, guiding the dark haired Slayer's head into her lap. Faith laid down, resting her head on Buffy's legs. Closing her eyes, she suddenly felt very tired. Buffy reached down and absently ran her hand through the younger girl's hair, caressing her gently. "I wonder about things, some times," Buffy began softly. "What would have happened if I had helped you. What would have happened if I hadn't become so obsessed with Angel and forgotten about everything else in my life," she said regretfully. "I know that things could have happened much differently if I had just done one little thing different somewhere. I didn't want to kill you the night I came to your apartment."
"Buffy," Faith started, but the older girl cut her off.
"No," she said. "It's okay. I have to say this," she whispered. Faith shut her mouth and closed her eyes again, letting the blonde Slayer's words wash over her. "I wanted to hurt you. I hate to admit that, but I did. I wanted vengeance for what you did to Angel. I couldn't see past him. I lost complete control to him. I finally realized something though, when I look back on our last fight."
"What?" Faith asked softly. The feel of Buffy's fingers running through her dark hair, and the feel of her fingernails grazing her scalp, calmed the younger girl considerably.
"You never wanted to hurt me," Buffy stated. "We fought, but you could have beaten me. You didn't hit me as hard as I hit you. You were holding back," she acknowledged. "I even knew it then, but I ignored it. I didn't want to know why. I didn't care why. I only cared about Angel, even though we didn't love each other the same way anymore," she said. "You let me win. Now I want to know why…for some reason, I think it's really important."
"What happened to Angel?" Faith asked, ignoring Buffy's question. The Blonde Slayer did not seem to notice.
"I cured him," Buffy replied.
"How?" Faith questioned.
"With my blood," Buffy sighed. "He fought with us on graduation day, but he left when everything was over. Went to Los Angeles."
"And Riley?" Faith asked.
"Riley isn't Angel. That's why I went out with him. He was normal…well, except for the whole thing about being a soldier for a secret government organization devoted to capturing and studying demons," Buffy responded. "I guess what I'm trying to say with all of this is that I forgive you," Buffy said quietly. "Can we just start over?"
Faith smiled against Buffy's leg. "Yeah," she answered. "We can."
"Good," Buffy nodded. Leaning her head back against the wall, she closed her eyes. Silence fell between them and she heard Faith's breath even as sleep took her. Riley was not Angel and that was the main reason why she started dating him in the first place. Buffy looked down at the sleeping Slayer and smiled sadly. "He wasn't you either," she whispered.