Animatus

Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming!

Previously:

"Well, I'm gonna go check on Tara, see if she wants anything to eat," Willow said. "I'm sorry about Riley."

"Thanks," Buffy replied absently. Willow walked away, leaving her standing alone. She looked back to where Faith had been sitting, but the dark haired girl was no longer there.

Chapter Thirteen: Authority and Legitimacy:

Christy awoke to a consistent, gentle tapping at her window. Groaning, she rolled over in bed, and rubbed her eyes. She glanced at her alarm clock and noted that it nearly was three o'clock in the morning. Disengaging herself from her blankets, she stumbled over to the window, desperately fighting away the creeping fingers of the Sandman, which threatened to pull her back into the world of dreams. Moving aside her curtains, she was unsurprised to find Faith standing on the fire escape, tapping softly on the window. The dark haired girl stopped when she saw Christy and smiled lopsidedly. Christy smiled, shook her head, and yanked open the window. Stepping aside, she watched Faith crawl clumsily through the window into her bedroom.

"Hey," Faith said, smiling awkwardly at her when she was standing upright again.

"Hey," Christy returned sleepily. "Your mother and her boyfriend fighting again?" She asked sympathetically.

"They were throwing things," Faith shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"Funny, I wasn't having any problem with that," the other girl replied jokingly.

"I know," Faith apologized. "I'm sorry. Do you want me to go?"

"No," Christy said instantly, clamping her hand on Faith's arm as the dark haired girl turned to leave. "I don't want you to go."

"Are you sure?" Faith questioned waveringly.

"Come on," Christy nodded, sliding her hand down Faith's arm until she was squeezing the other girl's fingers. She walked back over to her bed, picking her way carefully in the dark, and pulling Faith along behind her.

"I can sleep on the floor," Faith suggested, stopping suddenly when they reached the bed.

"Are you kidding?" Christy asked incredulously. "You're not gonna sleep on the floor."

"Are you sure that you're okay with this?" Faith asked uncertainly, closing her eyes briefly when Christy squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Are you?" Christy replied, watching as the tension left Faith's shoulders and she smiled softly.

"I'm fine with it," Faith said. "I'll take any chance that I can get to be close to you."

Christy smiled and blushed, looking down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at her girlfriend. "Let's go to sleep then," she said quietly.

Faith nodded and climbed into the bed, pressing the length of her body against Christy's back. The other girl's hair tickled at Faith's nose and she smiled. Hesitantly, she placed her hand on Christy's slim waist, smiling when her girlfriend grabbed her hand and placed it on her stomach. Faith breathed in deeply, relishing the vanilla scent of the other girl's shampoo. The light of the moon was streaming in the window and Faith let her eyes wander over to the glass, losing herself in the darkness of the night.

"What were they fighting about?" Christy asked softly, bringing Faith back into the moment. Faith shrugged and buried her face in the side of Christy's neck. She could feel the other girl's pulse pounding steadily beneath her skin.

"I don't know," Faith replied after several long moments. "I don't care."

"Faith," Christy started, rolling over to look at her girlfriend.

"Not right now, okay?" Faith asked desperately. "I don't want to think abut anything right now, except being here with you."

"You don't have to put up with their shit, you know?" Christy said, pressing her hand lovingly against Faith's cheek, as her eyes inventoried all of the places on her girlfriend's face where bruises and cuts had adorned. Faith closed her eyes, leaning slightly into her warm touch.

"We start our first year of high school tomorrow, right?" Faith asked. Christy nodded. "I only have to put up with it for four more years, and then I'm gone."

"You don't always have to be strong," Christy reminded her.

"Yes, I do," Faith said firmly, but gently. Before Christy could protest, she leaned in, capturing the other girl's lips in a tender kiss.

"That's no fair," Christy grumbled half-heartedly when Faith pulled away. "I can't argue with you when you're kissing me."

"That's kinda the point," Faith noted jokingly.

Christy smiled and burrowed closer to Faith, resting her head against the other girl's chest, relishing the feel of her girlfriend's heart beating against her cheek. "You can always talk to me, you know?" She said.

"I know," Faith acknowledged, closing her eyes. "One of these days, I will."

……………………………

"I can't believe that I just did that," Buffy mumbled, sitting down at what had been the bar of the Bronze, until zombies had taken over Sunnydale, and effectively ended the world as she had known it. "I can't believe that I broke up with him. What the hell is wrong with me? He was such a great guy. And what the hell was he talking about Faith for? What does she have to do with anything?"

"W-who're you talking to?" Tara asked, walking cautiously up to the blonde Slayer. Buffy looked up sharply, noticing for the first time that she was sitting alone at the bar talking to herself.

"Myself apparently," she noted sarcastically.

"M-mind if I join you?" Tara asked, motioning to the stool next to the other girl.

Buffy smiled softly and shook her head. "Not at all," she replied.

"Willow told me t-that you broke up with R-riley," Tara said sympathetically.

"Yes, I did," Buffy acknowledged. "Of course, now that I look back on it, I have no idea why I did."

"What d-do you mean?" Tara asked.

"Riley is such a great guy," Buffy answered. "And it's not like there's many fish in the proverbial sea anymore, what with zombies having killed everyone."

"You're r-regretting your decision?" Tara inquired.

"I don't know if I'm regretting it," Buffy said thoughtfully. "I just don't know if it was the best decision that I could have made at that moment."

"Why did you b-break up with him?" Tara asked curiously, though she thought that she already knew the answer to her own question. She had seen how gentle Buffy had been with Faith since they had returned to the Bronze. When Buffy and Faith had fallen asleep together the night before, Tara could have sworn that the blonde Slayer was touching her counterpart almost lovingly.

"He can just be so frustrating," Buffy said angrily. "He's all about the Initiative…all of that shit out this being a military operation. It's not a military operation, it's a Slayer operation. Those are zombies out there, not enemy combatants," Buffy fumed, gesturing wildly at the door.

"Y-you don't think Riley is q-qualified to lead us?" Tara asked.

"No," Buffy sighed. "I don't think that he is. But I don't think that we have much of a choice but to follow him."

"We don't have to f-follow him," Tara reminded her.

"I think he pretty effectively took charge," Buffy said dismissively.

"The rest of these p-people, they may want to f-follow him because he's a s-soldier," Tara explained. "B-but I would rather follow y-you and I know that Willow would t-too."

"You want me to lead you?" Buffy asked in surprise.

"I'm j-just saying," Tara said, smiling conspiratorially, "that if you w-wanted to take the power back, I wouldn't c-complain."

"But they have the guns," Buffy reminded her.

"Not a-all of them," Tara replied.

"Actually, they do now," Liz said, walking up to them worriedly.

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," Liz said. "But I thought that you should know that the soldiers are taking all of the guns. They said that they want to hold them for our protection."

"You've got to be shitting me," Buffy said, jumping to her feet. "Where are they?"

"Upstairs," Liz answered as Buffy stormed by her.

"W-where's Faith?" Tara asked, rising to her feet.

"I don't know," Liz shrugged. "I tried to find her, but I found Buffy first."

Buffy raced up the stairs to the second level of the Bronze, just in time to see the soldiers dumping all of their guns, knives, and ammunition into a large, black trash bag. "What're you doing?" Buffy asked angrily.

"It's not safe for guns to be in the hands of civilians," Riley said, turning to face her.

"Bullshit," Buffy said. "Faith and I both know how to handle guns. So does Liz.""Faith?" Riley asked with a knowing smile. "You want me to give a gun to Faith? How many times do I have to tell you that she's dangerous? She should be in prison. She's a murderer."

"This isn't about Faith," Buffy dismissed him. "Let me keep a gun. I need to know that I can protect my friends."

"This isn't about you either," Riley replied stolidly as the solders finished gathering the guns. "Take them downstairs," he said to them, grabbing one man by the arm as he tried to pass. "And don't let anyone see where you put them," he whispered. The other man nodded and followed his companions down the stairs."

"This is a mistake," Buffy warned.

"Like I said before," Riley reminded her. "This is a military operation. I will not have guns in the hands of civilians for as long as I can help it. It's just not safe. One false move and we could have people shooting at each other for no reason."

"That's not going to happen," Buffy insisted.

"Not if all of the guns are in the hands of trained professionals," Riley nodded.

"Riley," Giles interrupted slowly, "I think Buffy is right. At least give us one gun for protection."

"No," Riley shook his head. "If I give you one gun, I'll have to give everyone else one gun too. The guns stay with us. That's final," he said, pushing passed Buffy, and descending the stairs.

"This is crazy," Buffy said in exasperation. "He's gonna get us all killed."

"He's just doing what he thinks is best," Giles replied.

"What if the zombies attack us, Giles?" Buffy asked. "How are we gonna protect ourselves? With the power of optimism?"

"I think the general idea is that the soldiers will protect us," Joyce replied grimly.

"That's just great," Buffy snorted. "We're sitting ducks."

"Let's just see how this plays out," Giles suggested.

"He's right," Liz said as she and Tara joined the others on the second level. "The zombies haven't attack so far, what makes you think that they will?"

"I don't know," Buffy shook her head. "I just don't like how any of this is going down."

"L-like you said," Tara added, "Riley is a g-good man. Maybe he knows what h-he's doing."

Buffy looked around at her friends, frowning slightly. "Where are Faith and Willow?"

………………………………

Faith slipped into the backroom of the Bronze, closing the door behind her. "I wish I had some cigarettes," she muttered, sitting on a packing crate in the dark. Sunlight streamed under the crack of the door, but the room remained effectively cloaked in shadow. Though she had been enjoying the quality time that she and Buffy had been spending, she desperately needed time alone to gather her thoughts. Ever since she woke up from her coma, she felt like she had been running constantly, never having a moment to stop and think about what had happened to her, or the world.

She did not feel like she belonged with the rest of the people in the Bronze. For some reason, the Powers that Be, or God, had spared her life, choosing instead to take the lives of nearly everyone else in town. Faith did not understand why she had not been killed in the attack. "What did I ever do to deserve life?" She questioned silently. "I should be dead." Sighing, she closed her eyes, and laid her head back against the wall. The days were starting to become shorter as fall progressed and summer waned. Though the temperature inside of the Bronze was comfortable during the day, she had found herself becoming quite chilled at night. Fortunately, winters in Sunnydale were not much different than fall in Sunnydale, save for the occasional, near miraculous snow.

Winters in Boston had been quite different. It had taken her some time to adjust to the change that California had brought when she first arrived in town. The sun was always shining and the sky was always clear. Sometimes, she just wanted it to rain. She remembered watching the rain cascading down the dirty window of her mother's apartment. She had always enjoyed the rain; some part of her believed that when it rained, God was crying for all of the pain in the world. She felt connected in those moments to something greater, like somewhere, someone felt how miserable she was, and cared that she was hurting.

But it never rained in Sunnydale and no one ever cared how much she hurt. Something was happening outside; she could hear raised voices again. One of them sounded like Buffy's voice. Though she could have listened, her Slayer hearing allowing her the privilege, she blocked out the sounds, relishing the silence of the darkness of the back room. The Bronze had been one of her favorite places in Sunnydale. Though she had bad memories of nearly everywhere else, she could not remember anything negative happening to her in the club. She clearly remembered, however, her dance with Buffy the night that she had killed Allen Finch.

That night, she had felt a spark of something that she had not felt in a long time. "Since…," Faith whispered, letting her voice trail off as she remembered her first girlfriend. She smiled slightly, though her smile was one filled with sadness and regret. When she and Buffy had danced that night, she felt as though, perhaps, the blonde girl could have been someone special for her, like the Powers that Be were giving her another chance at happiness. The feel of Buffy's body so close to hers aroused her in both body and spirit. Buffy brought her back to life, only to send her back into the darkness of death again.

"Death," Faith murmured. The word seemed perpetually stuck in her mind. Death surrounded her always. It seemed as though everyone she opened her heart to was destined to die. She had been starting to enjoy truly the company of Anya, when the ex-vengeance demon was so violently ripped away from her. Leaning forward so that her elbows were resting on her knees, she cupped her face in her hands. She still could not believe that Anya was gone. It had all happened so quickly. She felt as though she should have been able to do something to prevent her death.

She was a Slayer; it was her duty to protect innocents. Yet, she always seemed to fail in that respect. Tears stung at her eyes as she thought of Anya, and all of the other people in her life that she had failed. Instead of blinking them away, Faith let them fall silently down her cheeks, until she was sobbing into her hands. She knew that she had to be strong, if not for herself, for Liz and the other people that she was starting to consider her friends in such a trying time. But, for the moment, she allowed herself to be weak.

……………………………………

Willow paused as she walked up to the door leading to the back room of the Bronze. She had followed Faith, hoping to have a moment alone to talk with the other girl. There were still so many things that she wanted to say, so much anger built up over the events surrounding Faith's ultimate betrayal of her and her friends. However, as she reached for the doorknob, she heard the distinct sound of someone crying. When Faith had broken down into tears in the back of the car, Willow had dismissed the girl's grief as a show designed to persuade Buffy to give her a second chance. Faith was a master at playing with people's minds and emotions. Willow was quite aware of how talented Faith was at manipulating people. However, as she stood with her hand resting on the doorknob, listening to Faith cry silently and alone in the dark, she knew that the former rogue Slayer's grief was genuine. Backing away from the door, she turned to rejoin the others.