Title: If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me
Summary: Sleep escapes me, my body aches, my mind is tired and yet no sleep will come to me, everytime I close my eyes a vision of your face comes to mind, your brave, smirking face. – Sam-centric fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything/one/place, that is/will be/was in Supernatural.
A/N: I will say thank-you to my friend Carla who sat with me and worked out all of these and agreed to be put in here under a false name. Also hugs to all who review.
2nd A/N: Uh guys just so you know the italics after a quotation mark (") mean's Sam's thoughts, when it is "between two" It'd emphasis. Ok? Cool? Plz R&R VGxx
–Sam POV–
I can't sleep. I don't know but it just does not come. I lay here on my back, looking up at the ceiling. The very same ceiling that you looked at only last week. In the next room I can hear crying. I get up investigate, knowing what I will find before I even leave the bed.
"Katie?" I push open the door of the room and find your Katherine crying again. Charli is next to her holding her and rocking her back and forth.
"Sam? Oh Sammy!" Katherine jumps up and wraps her arms around me as if I'm crying as well. I put my arms around her to add to her comfort and I can feel her shaking. She's one of the only people I haven't yelled at for calling me 'Sammy' she remind of Mom maybe that's why.
"Sam, she had another nightmare about…you know." I do know. Her nightmare was about you. About how you left us. About how you left me. We miss you.
"It was my fault I know it was." Katherine says after Charli leaves the room and goes back to her room.
"Sweetie it wasn't. It'll never be your fault Katie." I tell her hugging her tighter; I know that because you had drilled that into my head didn't you. So that's what I tell Katherine. It's not her fault you're dead. It's mine.
"Then whose fault is it Sam's? Is it his fault?' partly "Yours? Sam it is my fault!" She tell me. I shake my head. It will never be her fault.
"Katie! It is not your fault! It is my fault! It is Dean's fault! We are both to blame but you aren't." I tell her strongly. Katie stares at me total disbelief shining in her eyes.
"How is it yours and his?" She asks. I sit down next to her as she falls back down onto her bed. It's hers now you're gone. I put an arm around her and she rests her head on my shoulder.
"It's mine because I wasn't there, it's his, because Dean didn't wait for me to get there. He should've waited for help from someone, but being Dean he didn't." I tell her she starts to cry again this time I start to cry to. Katherine is sobbing openly while I let my tears fall silently. I hear a song start to play in my head as I cry. I close my eyes and I get another image of your brave, smirking face looking at me. 'Come on Sammy,' you say 'It'll be fun. Just a few drinks.' I warn you that Katherine won't like it but you convince me. That's why you're smiling at me. You always had a way to convince people, not just me and dad and Jessica and any other girl too with that evil smile of yours. The song that plays as i watch your smirking face in my head...
How will I start
To move on without you here?
Who's heart will guide me?
Will all the answers disappear?
Is it too late?
Are you too far gone to stay?
This one's forever
Should never have to go away
What will I do?
You know I'm only half without you
How will I make it through?
If only tears could bring you back to me
If only love could find a way
What I would do
What I would give
If you
Return to me
Someday
Somehow
Someway
If my tears could bring you back
To me
I've cried you an ocean
If you'll sail on home again
Waves of emotion
Will carry you and only can
Just let flow guide you
And your heart will chart the course
Soon you'll be drifting
Into the arms of your true north
Look in my eyes you'll see
A million tears have gone by
And still they're not dry
If only tears could bring you back to me
If only love could find a way
What I would do
What I would give
If you
Return to me
Someday
Somehow
Someway
If my tears could bring you back
To me
I hold you close
And shout the words
I only whispered before
For one more chance
For one last dance
Inside of me
Than I would like to know
If only tears could bring you back to me
If only love could find a way
What I would do
What I would give
If you
Return to me
Someday
Somehow
Someway
If my tears could bring you back
To me
If only tears could bring you back to me
I return to my room shortly after Katherine falls asleep again. I curl up under the covers like I'm 4 years old again, wishing my older brother was here, beside me keeping me warm, telling me there's nothing to be afraid of, that I'll be safe with him. I close my eyes but the darkness refuses to conquer me.
Sleep escapes me, my body aches, my mind is tired and yet no sleep will come to me, everytime I close my eyes a vision of your face comes to mind, your brave, smirking face. I miss you Dean. If only tears could bring you back to me tonight.
Wow! Sorry guys! I have to stop it there. Tell me what you thought. I can barely see the keys to type this! I'm crying so much. If you want to know how Dean died look out for "A memory worth forgetting" it'll be the story in which one of our favourite Winchester's dies…coming soon!
Plz R&R VGxx