A MESSED UP DESTINY
A STAR WARS STORY
Chapter 37
Disclaimer: Disney owns everything and I make no profit from this.
Hello there everyone and welcome to chapter 37 of the story! Today we continue right from where we left off, with Vindi's bombs having just been deactivated and Naboo, as well as the rest of the Galaxy, now saved from a pandemic that would have cost trillions of lives. Anakin and Padme are left to deal with this close call, each perceiving it as their own failure that led them to this moment, while Ahsoka and Rex are faced with proof that the Hero with No Fear is not invincible as many would have them believe.
Post Edit Note: Hello there everyone! Guess what I'm going to do now that I'm sick and can't for the life of me finish the second half of the chapter? I'm going to make this a two-parter! Which…might actually be better for the pacing all things considered…Anyways, yeah. I'm going to end this solely without any Sidious in it and the next chapter will be entirely devoted to…things. I can't say because of spoilers, but still it's halfway done anyhow, so it shouldn't take too long to finish!
Now…without further ado…let's dive right into chapter 37!
Fate of our Heroes! Having just barely avoided a catastrophic defeat on Naboo, Anakin Skywalker are left reeling with guilt and hopelessness, each believing it to be their own failures that nearly wiped out the planet's entire population. Ahsoka and Rex are left to deal with the knowledge that no one is invincible and a dark presence swiftly approaches Naboo, aiming to annihilate its enemies once and for all. Meanwhile, Anakin is forced to face some revelations he'd prefer to bury and Padme must choose if compromising her morals for the sake of the Galaxy is worth the consequence of that action…
Naboo Swamplands, CIS Bioweapons Facility, Rex's point of view:
It was over. This…this would be our final mission. It didn't hit me back on the Resolute, when the General had shed that single tear, it didn't hit me when he lost his focus as our boots left prints in the muddy ground, and it didn't hit me when I'd seen the detonator in the Doctor's hand. After so many battles, countless victories, unimaginable numbers of lost Brothers around the Galaxy and what felt like billions of scrapped clankers, this is where our story ends. It made sense after all. The Republic's undefeatable army to be torn apart by the one enemy they couldn't fire a blaster at.
Out of all the Jedi on this mission, it was surprisingly the Senator who'd realized it first, who'd understood that the end was coming. She'd been the first one out of all of us to see the inevitable defeat that we'd just suffered, not daring to hope that we might, by some miracle, escape with our lives. No…the 501st was all out of miracles this time. Even the General, Anakin Skywalker himself, seemed to know it as he helped Senator Amidala sit against a wall, and then sat down next to her. Droids were still firing on us, but the clankers were easy for the Dominoes to take out. Commander and I barely had to move a muscle, most had already lost their heads before they could even finish walking into my line of sight.
The end…such a funny thing. I'd always thought that in the end, I'd either live to see the War be over, or die in the Republic's name…but neither of those things would happen. As General Kenobi's apology rang through everyone's coms, his voice coming from all directions, Ahsoka and the others realized what the General already had. I was still hoping. Daring to believe that Anakin Skywalker would pull us all out of this with the same mystical powers that had saved us all countless times before, allowing us to walk through Hell and return unscathed. Fives, Echo, Cutup, Droidbait and Hevy were the only ones standing now, in denial about the fate which had befallen us.
I could feel my legs give out as Ahsoka helped me sit against the cold, metallic wall of the facility before sitting down next to me. She'd understood that we had lost, I was still in my own little world of hope. The General had never failed us before, he wouldn't do so now. And yet…everything changed when he snapped in rage, causing the blast doors at each end of the hallway to seal themselves in a last-ditch effort to buy everyone just a little more time. Only then did it hit me. Only then did I understand that this is where I would die, this is where Ahsoka would die, because that's when the look to utter hopelessness on the General's face registered in my mind. That's how I knew we'd lost. Because Anakin Skywalker was admitting defeat.
The impossible, the unthinkable had happened…and it only took a plague that would probably wipe out the whole Galaxy. In the last few seconds before the bombs would go off I could think of nothing else but the Commander. Ahsoka Tano, her first time on the field almost at age fourteen. A year had passed since then, and yet…she was still that same kid, in a lot of ways.
Ahsoka had been forced to grow up too fast for her own good. At first she'd approached each and every battle with a stubborn determination powerful enough to match the General's, but also an attitude that could never belong to a soldier. She never seemed to worry about the prospect of death, of the fact that all it would take for everything to just…end, would be a single shot from a lucky droid. Ahsoka had been a breath of fresh air for all of us, and had quickly become a good friend of mine as the days of her apprenticeship turned into weeks and the weeks into months.
I'd taken the liberty of catching her up with some of the battles we'd been through, and she used to listen to those stories like they were the most wonderful tales in the world. After Ryloth…nothing was the same. I'd gotten myself stuck between a rock and hard place back then. Fett had fly in and save my ass that day. When I'd gotten out of medical Ahsoka had been there, barely holding herself upright because she'd refused to leave my side. The General had to do a 'Force Suggestion' to make her fall asleep, and I in turn hadn't left her side for the next few hours. When she woke up her determination was still there, all in one piece…but that glee and light was gone from her eyes, her very presence. I may be a Jedi, but even I could tell. The General had too, never objecting when Ahsoka would snap at him in the next couple of days, claiming that they should accelerate her training.
Rishi was another one of those moments where things had changed. I'd gotten to see another one of the General's famous miracles when Hevy was saved, and Cody had gotten me to question where my unwavering loyalty towards General Skywalker. What I'd learned because of that had been shocking, but it only affirmed that the man knew what he was doing, solidifying my trust in him as I'd begun to see him more like the person he was than the legendary hero everyone else claimed him to be.
With those revelations, had come a clear look into the Commander's head. What she'd been putting herself through wasn't alright, and she'd promised me to never doubt herself again after her spar with General Skywalker. She'd managed to keep that promise, her hopeful optimism returning in full force after that. Downtime on Coruscant had been relatively uneventful, just me having to make sure that she and the Dominoes didn't get in too much trouble. When I'd been forced to chase those six around the Jedi Temple however, it became clear to me that Ahsoka's optimism had never been there to begin with, for it had never stemmed from trust, but rather a naivety that had come from a sheltered childhood, and after that Ahsoka's blind faith in her Master to keep us all safe.
That image had shattered during the most innocent of times, a game of Hide-and-Seek, of all things. I'd been the –unwilling- seeker, hence having to chase them around the Jedi Temple, and then Ahsoka had to walk into the Halls of Healing as they were called, but instead of patients being treated, all we'd found was a morgue. The Jedi Healer in charge –Vokara was her name- had kicked us out with screaming after that, but Ahsoka could barely walk, the usual spark of hope in eyes having been snuffed out by the reality of War. And now…as I looked into her eyes, helmet falling to the floor, I could see her faith had been snuffed out too. All that was left was a teenage girl shouldering more responsibility than she could carry, forcing herself to bear it all because others depended on her.
It wasn't fair. Not to her, not to us, not to anyone else involved in all this! I a moment of rage, I'd cursed the Jedi and all their supposed wisdom, damned them all to Hell for doing this to children, to her! And as General Kenobi's message cut off, the only thing I could was try to offer comfort by hugging her as tightly as I could, with my strength now having left me. The General's eyes were glowing yellow now, tears streaming down from them as he also tried to comfort the one he cared for, the Senator having dropped all pretenses and mourning her people in the split second we all had left to live. And in that second…nothing else mattered. Not the War, not the Republic, not even the failure of a mission this had turned into. All I could think off were my brothers on the surface, the General, and above all…Commander Tano.
As the tenth and final second came to an end, my muscles tensed against the small Togruta who was now clinging to my arm, crying along with her Master and probably feeling everything that was happening on the surface, but nothing happened. No screams over the coms, no heartfelt goodbyes between Brothers, friends and comrades. Even General Kenobi's voice had gone quiet now, a part of me wishing to hear the banter between him and my own Jedi one last time, for tradition's sake.
Everything was quiet, and even though I couldn't feel it, I somehow knew that if the Force could, it would also be silent, but I wasn't sure how that thing even worked. For an all-powerful energy that the Jedi based a whole religion around, it wasn't exactly doing much to help us now that we need it. And then I heard them. The cheers.
Brothers were cheering, yelling out into the Galaxy in relief, joined by the people of Naboo. Laughter had broken out between all of them, the Jedi also cheering along, with even Fett's voice joining in to mutter something about 'that crazy bastard', though had Ahsoka's com not picked it up through the private channels, I would have missed it in the ocean of sound that was the planet of Naboo.
A few seconds ago, Anakin's point of view:
Emotions unbefitting of either Jedi or Sith were swarming my mind now, the constant reminder of my failures a loud ringing in my ears. As Obi Wan's message came to an end, all I do was hug my Angel as best I could manage, a silent apology for my inability to save her people. Tears were streaming down both our eyes now, but she still leaned towards me, offering comfort even in our last moments before imminent death, running a soft hand through my hair as I flooded our bond with more love than most would think possible, doing everything I could to convey that this wasn't her fault, that she shouldn't blame herself for all that has happened.
My eyes were emitting a bright golden glow now, anger at my failure and hatred for Darth Sidious for doing this running through my veins, my blood almost being swept up in the fires of hate burning in my very soul. And yet, it would all be for naught. The task of destroying the Emperor would fall onto someone else, and my family…would die. Padme, my sweet and lovely Angel, Obi Wan, my beloved brother, both in arms and in being Qui Gon's son, Rex, one of my closet friends who had put his faith in me, even though I myself could never do such a thing…and Ahsoka. Snips. My Padawan, and little sister. It would be twice now that my choices killed her, first with joining Sidious and allowing him to enact Order 66, and then here, by taking her with me to such a dangerous mission.
I had failed them all…and for what surely was the last time. Qui Gon, the man I now knew to be my true father, even though it wasn't blood which connected us, had gambled everything when he'd given Obi Wan and I a chance to correct the mistakes of the past, and even though he'd said the Force would always grant it's champions opportunities to fight against evil, like the one Sidious embodied, my family would never live to see his demise.
If only I'd been quicker…if only I'd been better, stronger. But I wasn't. Even after years of learning and with a near-perfect Mastery of the Force at my side, I'd failed. I knew so much, was so powerful, but even that wasn't enough. My foresight, the very ability I'd once considered to be my curse, now turned into the greatest of gifts…and I still couldn't beat him. Anakin Skywalker, for all his power…just wasn't enough. And Darth Vader…Vader, for all his wisdom in the ways of the Sith, would simply be forced to bow before the Emperor once more, as he had after the countless days of his apprenticeship under that monster.
And if neither Anakin nor Vader were enough, then what, or who was? If I, the Chosen One, couldn't get through such a simple trap, then how in the Galaxy's name would I defeat him?
"Aren't you forgetting something Anakin?", a familiar voice asked in my head. Qui Gon, my mind registered. "Didn't I tell you that you weren't here solely to put an end to Lord Sidious? Wasn't it said to you that relationships should also be mended?", he asked, and in my anger, I snapped at him, shouting at my own father.
"I did as you said I should! I saved Mom, gave Obi Wan a chance, came clean to Padme, trusted my instincts and took Ahsoka as my Padawan despite it being dangerous! So please, tell me! What else am I meant to do?", I screamed at him, anger rolling off me in waves, hatred burning hotter than Mustafar itself.
"Have you really? Anakin, in all the time I've known you trusting people has never been your forte, son. Haven't I told you time and time again that you don't have to do this alone, that you have a group of friends at your side?", Qui Gon questioned, reminding me of what Revan had told me right after the mission to Rishi. I wasn't alone anymore, but had I ever actually acted on that? Even after understanding that, did I ever ask for help?
It didn't take more than a second for me to realize that I hadn't actually talked to Obi Wan about that, having found him in a state of despair since that's when Siri had been presumed dead. I hadn't asked Rex because there wasn't much else he could do to help me right now, Padme had already disagreed with Phantoms' methods, even though she'd never expressed those feelings, Yoda was already doing all he could…and Ahsoka wasn't someone I could ask, because she was still a kid and above all, I didn't want her to hate me for what Vader had done.
No…for what I had done that night, and the five years after it. Taking a deep breath, I finally admitted to myself that it wasn't Darth Vader who had done those things, despite what Padme may have said. It was my saber that cut the Jedi to pieces, killed younglings, enslaved entire worlds and tore families apart, and I'd been refusing to take responsibility for those acts.
Back when Ferus and I had last spoken, I'd promised to myself that I would right Darth Vader's wrongs, but I hadn't made much progress in that regard. Except trying to –and succeeding in- saving Dooku from Sidious' clutches, had I really done anything of importance that would even count towards this goal, the very thing I'd told myself had been my new purpose?
The answer was simple. I hadn't done so…because I hadn't changed. I'd grown yes, I no longer was the same Anakin who'd fallen for Dooku's taunts and I certainly wasn't the same Vader who'd murdered people for the slightest thing, but I was still the same. Attachment and Fear had once more made themselves my Masters, not letting me escape their control and make my own choices. "I'm glad you came to this conclusion on your own.", Qui Gon's voice stated in audible relief. Clearly he'd expect to have to guide me to this, which wasn't wrong of him. After all, it's what had been happening until now.
"I'm glad too. Can't imagine what kind of idiot I'd have to be if you were forced to hammer this into my head.", I joked, trying to lighten the air a little. Father let out a small chuckle before turning his attention back to the matter at hand, knowing I was about to ask for help, not that there was anything wrong with that. "So…what do I do now?", I asked, and Qui Gon chuckled again.
"Why Anakin, you've already given yourself the answer. You need to learn to trust your team, to be able to allow yourself to depend on others. You've stayed strong for a long time now, let someone else help you carry the weight you must. After all, I do believe a common saying amongst your men is that 'No brother ever gets left behind.", my father answered, and I brought myself together long enough to nod an affirmative to him.
Qui Gon sent me a feeling of unwavering trust through the Force as his presence left my mind, returning to the Netherworld for the time being. Daring to look up, I saw Rex and Ahsoka smile gleefully as they put all their attention to the latter's com, from which cheers and laughter could be heard, millions of voices filled with relief. Turning to face my Angel, I saw share a similar smile, and she gave a proper hug once she saw that I was looking at her, sneaking in a short kiss after ensuring that Rex and Ahsoka's attention was elsewhere.
Domino Squad, who settled for splitting up with two on either blast door, minus Hevy who'd preferred to stand rather that sit were all beaming with happiness at the prospect of living another day, and I caught myself letting out a small chuckle, to which Rex responded by laughing loudly, Ahsoka mimicking him as I propelled myself back up with the Force, helping Padme up by offering a mechanical hand for her to latch onto.
Rex and Ahsoka plus the Dominoes were all up on their feet soon enough, and we all exited the CIS Lab with positive emotions flooding our heads, everyone's desire to reach Theed as soon as possible amplifying once Padme mentioned that the Queen would probably throw a feast in the honor of those who'd come to save her world. It was in that moment that I was suddenly struck by a bright idea, and quickly challenged the others to a race across the Grasslands the second we were no longer stepping in mud.
Everyone accepted with a loud cheer of agreement and I used Force Speed to run off immediately after, winning the race with a rather large gap between mine and Ahsoka's times, to which she'd exclaimed that I had cheated by not teaching her to do that yet. Unsurprisingly, she stopped pouting the second I offered an advanced lesson after the celebration, which she readily agreed to.
What was surprising however, was the speed at which the Naboo could set up a planet-wide feast with enough food to feed two legions of very hungry Clone Troopers, who had –in most cases- never tasted anything with more flavor than a military-issued Ration Bar. The Queen had immediately thanked the moment we'd gone to meet her, jokingly ordering all of us to stay for the celebration, to which I'd attempted to reply with a negative for the heck of it, but was quickly deterred with a single glance from Padme, warning me against what I was about to do.
An hour later, every single Republic Trooper, Commanding Officer and Civilian Volunteer was feasting in the Republic's name, gleefully chatting with one another as the Clones from the 212th reunited with some friends from the 501st, and some civilians attempted to mingle, finding them a lot more human than they had ever expected, which brought an honest smile to my face. Perhaps this would help the Galaxy realize that they weren't just unthinking droids that followed orders behind those helmets, but actual men who bled and died so that the Republic's Citizens could live free from –direct- control of the Sith.
Another hour went by as fast as the first, during which Obi Wan and I were more than happy to entertain the populace of Theed with a city-wide mock duel, causing cheers to erupt from the crowds below wherever we went. Rex had practically been glued to Ahsoka's side since the feast had begun, even pulling her aside for a moment or two as Obi Wan was trying to backflip over me and to an adjacent rooftop, but alas, the fun had end sometime.
With our duel complete and our strength thoroughly depleted, we both went our separate ways –precisely one large table apart- and plopped ourselves down next to friends and –in the case of some Clones and a certain Senator- family alike. Padme ended up having to drag me away from the roasted Bantha because the taste brought forth very strong –and surprisingly fond- memories from my childhood on Tatooine, or at least as fond as a former slave's can be, that is.
Guiding me all the way to her family home, Padme received several wolf-whistles along the way, all of them a way of 'support' for what my men –and a few of Obi Wan's- thought was to commence between the two of us, not that I would mind if that was why I was being dragged out here.
Upon entering her room, she sat down on the bed, letting out a sigh of exhaustion. I sat down next to her, still unsure of what exactly I'd been dragged in here for, but not making a move in case this was different to what my slightly tipsy mind was thinking of. My Angel seemed nervous and determined at the same time, seemingly trying to psych herself up to say something.
"Anakin…I want in.", she said, and my mind went blank for a moment, trying to understand what she meant. Upon seeing the quizzical look I sent her, Padme figured that elaboration was needed.
"I think that now I understand what you do. About Palpatine…err, Sidious, I mean. If he's willing to do something like this to his own home planet just to kill us and further his plans, we have to stop him. And if even one of his supporters has the same mentality, I want in on Operation Lord's Rise. I don't completely approve of it still, but I see why you think it's necessary.", she said, and my eyes shot open, attention entirely devoted to this conversation, mind fully operational once more.
I opened my mouth to argue with her. I didn't want Padme so closely involved in all this, especially on a project that she'd be compromising her morals for. It wouldn't be fair to her if she got herself into this out of spite for Sidious and then regretted it, because I knew how stubborn my Angel could be. She'd see it to the just because she'd undertaken the task, and I didn't want that kind of pressure on her.
"Padme, are you sure?", I questioned, wanting to get a clearer picture on what she was feeling right this moment, to try and understand if this was something she actually wanted and not just spite taking the form of a rash decision.
Understanding this, Padme placed a soft hand on my shoulder. "Anakin, I do want this. You have to believe that I know what I'm doing. Trust me." Trust. Was this all it would come down to? My ability to trust those close to me? Probably yes. But was it not trust in Sidious that made me fall for his scheme? No, that had been a combination of a great many things, but blind faith and desperation were most prominent. Trust had nothing to do with it.
Taking a deep breath, I sighed to myself before looking her in the eye and nodding an affirmative. I wasn't the only one who had the right to make their own choices, and if Padme truly wanted this, I'd support her, no matter the risks. "Revan will fill you in on everything. He's the one Phantom primarily answers to, he'll know more about day-to-day assignments than I.", I told her and Padme nodded in acceptance of this, before hugging me in thanks, and the soft hands on my back were affirmation enough that I would never regret putting my trust in her.
Suddenly, Padme put all of her weight onto me, causing me to fall back onto the bed, her own form following suit. As soon as she looked at me I shot her a wide grin, and she giggled. It was the most beautiful laugh in the Galaxy, because it belonged to her. I chuckled and rolled her over, both of us panting from the day's exhaustion having taken its toll. And just as we lay there, both still chucking to ourselves and rather tired, I decided to close my eyes for just one second, Padme's soft touch lulling me to a peaceful sleep.
And…there you have it everyone, chapter 37 of A Messed Up Destiny! Sorry I had to keep it shorter than intended, but I'm not exactly up to finishing the second half because I'm sick at the moment. Not to worry, it's half done so it won't take long since I'm already half-done with the duel and have a good draft for the aftermath of it. And I assure you…it's going to be good…
Anyways, we have a lot of things to cover today, so let's jump right in to the exposition!
Firstly, Rex. I think that this chapter, this defeat, is a turning point for his character. He's now realized that Anakin can fail, and knowns where his priorities lie. He's no longer fighting for the Republic as a whole, but –like the Wolf Pack- for those he cares for, meaning his brothers, General and best friend, Ahsoka. He's dropping all pretense and admits to himself just how important to him they really are to him, and just how much he cares for them, especially Ahsoka.
In what he perceives to be his last moments, his mind turns to those he cares for, and Ahsoka primarily, reminiscing about their shared experiences since the Battle of Christophsis one year before the Blue Shadow Virus crisis that is currently ongoing. He thinks fondly of how she'd provided everyone with a spark of light, describing her as 'a breath of fresh air' before his mind turns to how she's grown since then, as well as some turning points in both their relationship and their experiences during the War thus far, and for him, a soldier devoted to his brother and the Republic, to spend his last moments thinking of one person in particular, it's clear that she'd extremely important to him.
Secondly, Anakin and Vader. I believe that what Qui Gon mentioned in regards to Anakin never being fully able to trust someone before, even when it came to Padme and Obi Wan. This problem is what eventually led him to not open up to his brother about his marriage and played a rather big role into his Fall to the Dark Side during Episode 3, which is why Qui Gon brings it up here. It's something he needs to understand and accept if he is to change for the better, hence their conversation.
Also, Anakin accepting that Vader's actions are his own and that he is Darth Vader in a way is not the negative character development it may look like at first. Up until now, Anakin has been denying that one of his two sides existed. First as a Jedi where he firmly believed he'd never Fall, then as a Sith where he denied all connections with his former self, and then in Book 1 and up until now, where he had told everyone –himself included- that Darth Vader was dead and would never return, but now, he's understood that neither Anakin Skywalker nor Darth Vader can defeat the Emperor alone, and decides to act on his revelation from chapter 23. I won't say anything else right now…but let's just say I think you'll like where this is headed.
Lastly, Padme's choice. The decision to join Operation: Lord's Rise wasn't one made out of spite like Anakin suspected, but it was a calculated sacrifice of –some- morals in the name of the greater good, which seems to go against Padme's character entirely. She's being put in a position where she blames herself for the near annihilation of her people and even though there was a feast in the end with everyone alive and well, she knows that it was Palpatine who nearly took everything away from her. Padme almost lost her entire world because of him, and is now filled with a determination to stop him no matter the cost, even if that cost includes her own morals. It's a difficult choice to make, but she believes it's worth doing it for the greater good, and more importantly, the safety of those she cares for.
Next time: With the Blue Shadow Virus safely contained in Republic custody with orders for all samples to be thrown into the nearest Black Hole by High General Obi Wan Kenobi, he and Jedi Knight Siri Tachi are pulled away from the feast after sensing a Dark presence in the Force, which threatens to upset the peace on Naboo. When the two Jedi confront this Dark-sider, will they manage to deal with him, or will this opponent be the last one they ever face?
That's all for now everyone! Reviews are always welcome, whether it be to ask question or to chat, and I'll see you all next chapter, but until then, May the Force be with you!