Chapter Six
'I think you just let your guard down.'
'Greg, dude, that stuff don't come cheap you know!'
Nick's sarcastic remark brought me back from replaying the locker room incident of earlier in the shift in my mind. I had been spraying phenylphaline on a plank of wood like there was no tomorrow. I threw it down onto the ground.
'Negative for blood,' I stated uniformly before scanning the rest of the area, camera in hand.
'You don't say,' Nick's voice trailed away as he wandered over to the other side of the crime scene.
Trying my hardest to focus on our crime scene and look for clues, I kept seeing Alanis' face smiling softly at me, uttering the same words over and over again. She was right – I had let my guard down. For some obscure reason that I couldn't fathom, I had never mentioned Elizabeth by name to anyone. It was as though my secrecy about our relationship was something I was trying to maintain or protect like I felt that no one could identify with her or who she was because they didn't know her like I did.
Being the insufferably analyst that I was, I wondered what this meant. Was I starting to genuinely move on rather than the moving on I had been doing for the benefit of everyone else so that they didn't have to feel awkward or obliged to catch my tears?
A bloody sneaker by the side of a wooden fence caught my thoughts for a moment. I clicked the shutter on the camera several times and pulled an evidence bag from my pocket. As the laces fought to go into the bag my mind began to wander again. Why had I opened up to Alanis? She seemed to have a knack for extracting information from me without asking for it – she'd make a great interrogator. I smiled to myself as I finally got the laces of the shoe into the bag, picturing her in the interview room at the police station.
'Sanders, what is with you today?' Nick gave me the shock of my life as he appeared behind me.
Well, maybe not the shock of my life, the award for that would go to…
'Well? Dude, what's going on? You're spending half your time staring at evidence and showering bits of crap with Luminol. Some of us have processed everything alone and would like to get something to eat' He sounded pretty annoyed.
'Sorry Nick, I'm just a little distracted today.' I stood up, closing the evidence bag and scribbling my initials on the seal.
'By who might I ask?' Nick's irritation seemed to disappear at the opportunity to tease his junior CSI.
'It's whom and I have no idea what you're talking about.' I argued, heading towards the car.
'Well, you waltz in to the lab in a good mood, grinning like a Cheshire cat. I just figured that you were thinking about a new young lady in your life perhaps?' Nick said still trying to wind me up by engaging in an act of platonic banter.
'Think what you like.' I snapped flatly as I threw the bagged sneaker into the trunk and slammed my kit down next to it before heading towards the front passenger seat.
'Greg, I was just kidding with ya,' Nick said repentantly when he hopped into the drivers seat a moment later.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to rip your head off. It hasn't even been two years since…' I trailed off, resisting eye contact and gazing out of the window as he started the car and pulled away from the scene.
'Let's go get something to eat,' Nick said in a brotherly tone that I had never heard from him before.
'It's beautiful up here,'I noticed the lights of the city reflecting a little in her eyes as I stole a quick sideways glance at her as she looked over the view.
'I know, I used to come here all the time when I was a kid,'
She looked at me, eyes wide. 'Aww, really?'
I laughed a little. 'Nah, I'm not from Vegas.'
'Then why'd you say it?' she eyed me with a playful suspicion.
I shrugged my shoulders. 'I just figured it was one of those cheesy romantic movie moments. You know the guys always say 'I used to come here all the time when I was a kid'' I said, putting on a mock macho man voice.
'And why do they say that?' she asked, turning to me and smiling.
As if I didn't feel like a dork already. I wished I had never said anything. So far, the whole evening had gone brilliantly, we had talked non-stop over dinner. I was relieved, I hadn't been this nervous on a first date since college.
'Umm, I don't know, maybe they're trying to show off their sensitive side or something,' I hazarded a guess and looked down at the floor, kicking randomly at a pebble, feeling mildly irritated that I had managed to come crashing back down in true Greg Sanders style. 'Maybe they're just trying to impress the girl' I added hoping in vain that I might have saved myself from complete idiocy.
I looked up and sighed, watching the lights of the casino's and hotels twinkling in the night, laughing at my lame jokes and the way this date was heading south at a spectacularly rapid rate. The touch of her warm skin as her hand slipped in to mine made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
'It must have worked. I'm impressed,' she said quietly as though she herself were almost embarrassed to say it.
I turned and looked at her. She smiled awkwardly and looked to the floor. Her cheeks had flushed slightly pink. For one of the few times in my life I was speechless. I needed to think of something to say in return and fast.
In the end I did the only thing I could think of – I kissed her.
I wasn't sure whether I ought to feel awkward as I sat in the diner with Nick. He sat sipping at his coffee, eyes silently scanning the menu. He hadn't said as much but I had a feeling he wanted me to talk to him. It felt outlandish to even consider it. We were both guys and as much as I hated to admit to the stereotype – guys don't like to talk to each other on an emotional level.
'So,' Nick said breaking the silence and setting his coffee cup down.
Oh oh here we go…
'So what?' I said.
'Talk.'
'About what?' I feigned ignorance gazing out of the window.
'You know what, don't play dumb with me. What's bothering you?'
'I don't want to talk about it, it's fine,' I said, taking a gulp of my own coffee pulling a face at the lack of richness that I wasn't habituated to.
Nick sighed and drummed his fingers agitatedly on the table for a moment or two.
'O.k., after I got buried…after I got buried alive I freaked out at insects and I wasn't a big fan of the dark.' Nick spoke quickly, pausing hesitantly at times. 'It took me a while but I slowly started to get used to it but sometimes… if I let my mind slip… I can see myself back in that box…' He took a deep shaking breath in '…and sometimes I dream that you guys didn't make it to me in time,' he stopped talking, his bottom lip had begun to quiver a little towards the end and I was unsure of how to adapt to this situation. We had never done anything like this before.
'Nick, I…' I stopped, couldn't think of anything to say.
He took a deep breath and blinked his eyes before looking at me. 'Your turn.' He said simply.
I considered criticising his tactic telling him he was being selfish but then I realised the things he had just told me he had confided in me. It wasn't information that he had revealed to anyone before. They were harshly personal thoughts and feelings that he had clearly been harbouring beneath his friendly demeanour for some time. It was a sneaky tactic to get me to talk but far from selfish.
Sitting silently for a moment, I contemplated the best way for me to say what was on my mind. It had taken me long enough to work over it in my head like an overbearingly difficult Chemistry problem. I was unsure of how much I actually wanted to tell him. I had only just reached the conclusion myself on the drive to the diner I and wasn't even sure it was the right one at that.
The strained, mildly impatient look in Nick's eyes told me to say something to balance out the confessions so that he could relax again. I nodded and exhaled sharply as though I were preparing myself for a blow.
'I think I'm falling for Alanis,'
A/N – cue dramatic music. Ha ha no I'm only joking. Just before you all start thinking 'Oh that was so predictable I'm not reading this trash anymore' stop and wait a bit for the next few chapters. It isn't over til the fat lady sings as they say. Although I don't think I'm featuring any fat ladies in this story unless you include me but I'm not in the story, I'm just writing it and rambling on at the end with boring authors notes. Anyway. I hope you liked that chapter and that the Nick and Greg conversation was nice. Thought it would be interesting to build up a bit of their friendship. Anyhow, read, review and read on my fellow CSI addicts…!