Title: Parallels
Authors: Questofdreams and Lazuli
Rated: R
Comments: Huge thanks to our beta, proud snapist.
Disclaimer: Yep, they apply.
Chapter 13
"How did you know that, Naruto?"
Naruto blinked, confusion clouding his eyes as his jaw worked, searching for an answer he didn't have. "I...I don't know," he finally said. His eyes widened in alarm as he failed to come up with a plausible explanation. "My father didn't mention it at some point, did he?"
Sasuke shook his head. "No. He's never spoken about his childhood since the switching thing has come up."
Naruto bit his lip and forced a smile on his face. "Must have been Ero-sennin or something," he said, hands fisting at his sides. But that didn't sound right either, and he shook his head.
"Maybe you should ask your father about it later," Sasuke suggested, turning away from the forest so they could continue their patrol.
"Yeah," Naruto murmured, resisting the urge to close his eyes and wrack his memory for where that little detail about his father's childhood had come from. The uncertainty stayed at the edge of his mind all afternoon.
The Yondaime wasn't home yet when they got off patrol, but Naruto was too keyed up to really sit still. He went immediately to the cupboard to get some ramen to make, but stopped when Sasuke gave him another strange look.
"Naruto?" he asked uncertainly. "Which one are you? This is the first time you've opened a cupboard correctly and I know that only you and your father really know where that ramen is kept. You call it your 'emergency' stash."
Naruto looked back to the cupboard and then to Sasuke. "It's still me; I haven't switched. I'm sure I saw my father get it from here at some point."
Sasuke looked unconvinced but didn't pursue it further. He did, however, continue to watch Naruto closely as Naruto made his ramen.
Naruto ignored him, his mind returning again to how he could have possibly known his father had had an affinity for orange as a child. He reasoned for logic--if he liked orange, didn't it stand that his father had to like orange, too? But he was certain of it, that his father liked orange. He couldn't shake that certainty.
"A lucky guess?" he mused out loud.
"What are you babbling about?" Sasuke asked, interrupting his thoughts.
Naruto looked up at him from stirring his ramen. "I was thinking about earlier--how I knew my father wore orange as a kid. I mean, if I like ramen like how he likes ramen, then it'd stand to reason that my father liked orange as a kid too. I mean, look at his cloak. It has flames on it! That's hardly practical, is it?"
Sasuke stared at him for a few moments, dumb shock on his face before snorting. "Now I know you're back to normal. You worshipped that coat and always got caught sneaking around the house in it. And you took it to bed with you every night."
Naruto jumped up, protest written all over his face. "That was only once, Uchiha!"
Sasuke immediately straightened. "Naruto?" he asked uncertainly.
"No, I still haven't switched," Naruto groaned, realizing again what he'd just said.
"How did you know that then?" Sasuke demanded. "I know I've never mentioned it and you couldn't have heard it from anyone other than your father. He told me about it when you pretended to make fun of his cloak once. Do you remember that?"
Naruto bit his lip, looking a little lost and uncertain. "I... I don't know," he said honestly, blue eyes looking up at Sasuke in confusion. "I can't remember, but it feels like I should remember. Or..." his brow furrowed. "This is weird. Why would I know things that I don't know, but what my other self would know?"
"Naruto, this can't be good," Sasuke said, moving to stand in front of Naruto and pushing Naruto's untouched bowl of ramen aside. "You haven't shown any signs of knowing anything about the other Naruto before now; you can't just suddenly remember things you're not supposed to."
"I know that," Naruto snapped, pulling his ramen back and taking a huge bite so he wouldn't have to give Sasuke an explanation that he didn't have.
He also couldn't tell Sasuke that he suddenly didn't feel as out of place anymore--that he felt comfortable here, that the shapes and dimensions of the room were familiar to him now. He could walk anywhere in the house and not get lost; he wanted to joke and tease his father, to go over scrolls with him. To not leave, because this was what felt right.
And yet he knew, he knew that it wasn't. Less than a day ago he had walked down the street with Sasuke, had kissed him, had felt for the first time that things between them might be more than he'd come to expect. But now, as he looked up to meet Sasuke's bewildered gaze, he felt as though he and Sasuke had been together for years and it wouldn't be out of place to simply lean over and press his mouth to Sasuke's, something that he'd done a hundred times before...and yet, had never done before. He swallowed hard.
He wrapped his arms around himself to prevent reaching out to Sasuke, but then wondered why he was restraining himself from the man. Sasuke was there to make sure he wasn't going crazy. He leaned against Sasuke, eyes half shut.
"I'm confused," he muttered.
"It's ok," Sasuke said quietly, not at all certain what was happening. "We'll talk to your father about it once he gets home."
Luckily they didn't have to wait long. A moment later, the front door opened and the Yondaime appeared, smiling broadly at the boys gathered around the kitchen counter. "What's up?"
Naruto looked up at his father. "I think I really am going crazy this time," he said, a little shakily.
Sasuke clarified Naruto's words. "He's still his other self, but he remembers this world."
The Yondaime gave them a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"
"I'm remembering things I shouldn't know," Naruto said, dragging his hand through his tousled hair. "Things only your Naruto would know. What's happening to me?"
The Yondaime, hearing the rising panic in his son's voice, moved quickly to Naruto's side and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
Naruto instantly relaxed--something that he hadn't done before. The last time the Yondaime had tried to comfort Naruto, Naruto had at first tensed at the feel of his hand. "Did you really like the color orange as a kid?" he asked quietly. "Or try to dye Ero-sennin's hair that color?"
The Yondaime blinked, taken aback. "You're still...I mean, you haven't switched?"
Naruto shook his head before dropping it into his hands, his father's reaction having answered his questions. "You were a troublesome kid," he muttered into his palms.
"Naruto," his father said, ignoring the remark, "this isn't good."
Naruto gave him a look at that, shaking his head in mild amusement. "Well, I think we figured that one out. The thing is, what are we going to do about it?" He stood up, pacing back and forth. "Somehow... somehow I'm remembering things and it's just... " His expression was pained. "This life is starting to feel normal to me, Dad."
Sasuke sucked in his breath harshly at that one. That was one thing this Naruto had never done. "Shit," he muttered.
The Yondaime straightened. "Let me look at your seal again," he said kneeling in front of Naruto, who had stopped pacing. Naruto grit his teeth and lifted up his shirt to expose the seal now appearing on his otherwise unmarked skin.
His father pressed his fingers against it tentatively, reaching out to the fox within. A moment later, he frowned darkly and stood up again.
"What is it?" Naruto asked, not at all eased by the look in his father's eyes.
"Can't you feel it? Kyuubi is restless; it knows something is wrong," he said grimly.
"The stupid fox is always restless when you poke at him." Naruto said in confusion. "That's hardly anything new." He pushed his shirt back down and crossed his arms over his chest. "What are we going to do about this? We already planned on how we're going to fix things."
"That's not it, Naruto," his father snapped. "Try to access its chakra."
Naruto raised a dubious eyebrow, not sure where his father was going with this but obeying nonetheless. He drew into himself...and for the first time in years, Kyuubi fought back. It was useless, of course, because of how integrated their chakra had become but Kyuubi hadn't tried to deny him its chakra since before Sasuke had left Konoha. As Kyuubi's chakra finally flared around him, he sighed, realizing the fox did sense something was off.
He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have doubted you."
Sasuke was becoming more alarmed as the events unfolded. Naruto's speech patterns, the way he reacted to his father's words, it was like his Naruto even though this wasn't his Naruto.
"Kyuubi tried to deny me access, which it can't because our chakras are practically fused, but it's definitely telling me something's wrong," Naruto said, confused by what it could all mean.
"Fused?" Sasuke echoed, before his eyes widened as something dawned on him. He realized the Yondaime had just realized the same thing because the older man mirrored his expression.
"What?" Naruto asked, unaware of what he'd just said.
Sasuke looked at Naruto carefully, hands cupping his face as if he was trying to see the problem within his eyes. "Naruto, you and your other self are the same soul, right?" At Naruto's hesitant nod, he went on. "I think you two might be fusing together. You and Kyuubi share the same space, and in a way, you and your other self share a similar connection. You're combining, Naruto."
He watched Naruto's blue eyes jump in alarm. "But how can that be? We're in two different places!"
"I think," his father added, "it's like you're becoming mirrors, or doubles, of each other--identical in all ways."
"Identical? But we're different. I'm not him," Naruto insisted. I have my own past, he thought. No matter how painful or how much he might have wished this was how his life had turned out, he didn't want to forget what it felt like to be alone, to be hated. The pain he'd gone through growing up, losing and finding Sasuke again...they defined him, they made him who he was.
Sasuke looked up at the Yondaime, one hand absently resting on Naruto's shoulder. "What can we do about this?" he asked quietly. "They may be the same soul, but they are two different people." He groaned and rubbed his temples. "As if this wasn't weird enough."
"There's no helping it. We have to perform the jutsu sooner. We can't wait another day. This just started happening now?" the Yondaime asked.
"Earlier, when we were on patrol," Sasuke said.
The Yondaime nodded. "It's strange how sudden this is, but it's happening quickly. We'll have to move the scheduled time to tomorrow at noon rather than the day after. I'm sorry, Naruto."
Naruto nodded slowly in understanding, but it felt like his heart was lodged in his chest somewhere. "I... " He took a deep breath. "How are we going to let the others know of the change?" he asked.
This time, there was no dizziness as the switch occurred.
"What change?" Sasuke asked, peering carefully into his eyes. "Naruto?"
"Sasuke!" Naruto said, stepping back, surprised by how smooth the transition had been. If they were fusing, then this was only further evidence.
"Naruto? Oh, you switched again," Sasuke said as he leaned back against the counter in his kitchen. "So, what change are you talking about?" He waited with brows just barely narrowed, hinting that something was on his mind.
Naruto tried to dispel the feeling that this world was the one that felt slightly off center now. "Has the other me been acting more like ... me?" he asked bluntly. He didn't know how much time they had, if it was going to switch again or what was going to happen the next time they switched.
Sasuke blinked at that, eyes narrowing. "So it's been happening with you, too?" he asked. "I thought something was wrong when the other you called me a bastard and said that the kiss when we were twelve was only a fluke."
Naruto smiled wryly. "Yeah, that is something I'd say."
"So, what's happening?" Sasuke asked, knowing it couldn't be good news.
"My father thinks we're fusing--the other Naruto and I--that we're becoming complete doubles of each other," he said quietly, irrationally afraid that if he spoke it any louder, it'd happen faster and he wouldn't know himself anymore.
Sasuke blinked at him in confusion, before he tilted his head in thought. "Technically, you are the same person. If you fused all the way and you still switched back, what would be the difference?" He grimaced. "Or would we even know the difference?"
"I don't think we'd know the difference, but the point," Naruto said, louder this time to press said point, "is that I wouldn't be me anymore. I'd be a... I don't even know what I'd become, but we have to fix things before I don't know where I belong anymore."
Sasuke heard the urgency in Naruto's voice and nodded. "So, what have you and your father come up with?"
Naruto ran a hand through his hair, pacing again. "Father and I," he didn't notice Sasuke's surprised look and slight flinch at the words, "decided that we need to move up the date of the jutsu. To do it as soon as possible, before this stretches out any longer, before even I don't know which Naruto I am anymore."
"So you want to do it now?" Sasuke asked, trying to follow Naruto's chaotic thoughts.
"No, tomorrow at noon instead of the day after. The other Sasuke hasn't had the chance to practice the jutsu yet."
Sasuke nodded. "I'll let Hokage-sama know."
Naruto wandered into the sitting room and sank into the couch, staring blankly at the bare stretch of wall across from him. "I'm losing who I am, Sasuke," he whispered. "Kyuubi realizes it, too." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Would you still like me if I wasn't me anymore?" he asked softly.
"I don't particularly like the other you so I'm not sure if I should answer that," Sasuke said, settling into the sofa beside him.
Naruto turned to frown at him. "I'm being serious, you know."
"So am I. Naruto," he said with an impatient look. "I realize that what's happening is serious, but we'll fix this."
"I just..." Naruto had to fight the urge to lean against Sasuke, mentally reminding himself that this Sasuke just wasn't like that and the move would only be rewarded with a trademark Sasuke look of 'what the hell do you think you're doing?' "I hate this," he muttered.
"Well then, take your mind off of it for a while. I was a little surprised that it wasn't you who came out of the shower last night," Sasuke said, trying for a light tone to help ease Naruto out of his dismal thoughts.
"Did he spend the night?" Naruto asked, remembering the unexpected fight that had sprung up between himself and the other Sasuke the night before.
"On the sofa, yes."
Naruto smiled.
Sasuke saw the look and shrugged. "What, did you think we were going to get all cozy because you wandered into the room without any clothes on?"
Naruto's eyes widened. "He didn't."
"Yeah, he did. He must have known he'd switched already, but tried it anyway."
Naruto winced, feeling a tiny surge of anger at his counterpart for...for what? Trying to seduce Sasuke? He was guilty of much more than that with the other Sasuke. And yet, the guilt wasn't nearly as pressing as it had been a day ago. In fact, he felt almost justified seeing as he and Sasuke had been together for years. When Naruto realized what he was thinking, he grew rigid and clenched his jaw in frustration.
He half reached out to Sasuke and then shook his head, standing up and putting distance between them. "I... I need to think or something," he said quickly, trying to calm himself down. "This is... I mean... I want to see.." I want to see my father, he thought absently, then cursed out loud at the thought. He looked up at Sasuke. "Is he in his office?"
Sasuke stepped over to him and gripped his shoulders. "Naruto, think!" he said fiercely.
Naruto bit his tongue when he realized what he'd just said. "Sorry," he groaned, feeling helpless. "I can't even think straight anymore." And then, unable to help himself, he leaned forward and pressed his face into Sasuke's neck.
He felt the other man stiffen, his fingers digging painfully into Naruto's shoulders. Naruto immediately jerked away, an apology springing to his lips before whirling around and leaning against the wall, banging his head in hopes of making things right again.
"This really sucks," he muttered. He wasn't sure why Sasuke was pushing him away, except of course he knew that he should be. "Are you mad at me?" he asked, not facing Sasuke.
"I'm not mad at you," Sasuke replied stiffly, thinking Naruto was only embarrassed by the gesture. "I was just caught off guard."
Naruto sank his teeth into his lip, welcoming the pain that seemed to temporarily clear his mind. "Damn it," he hissed, pushing away from the wall and past Sasuke.
Sasuke gripped his arm and whirled Naruto around to face him. "Didn't I tell you that I wanted to kiss you before?" he demanded. "That I didn't mind?" He took a deep breath. "I don't want to lose the Naruto I know for one that I don't know."
"And I don't want to lose myself!" Naruto shouted, pulling free of Sasuke's grasp. "You shouldn't touch me; I might do something you won't like."
Sasuke gave him a flat look. "You can't hurt me, Naruto."
"That's not what I mean. I keep looking at you and thinking about a past we don't have, a past the other pair of us have and it's confusing me."
Sasuke stared at him for a few moments, the frown deepening. "What about the past we have now?" he asked carefully. "What do you remember about that?"
Naruto stared at him for a few moments, afraid that he'd open his mouth and say the wrong thing.
He shook his head. "I don't think I can sort it all out right now," he said, turning away.
"You can and you will," Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto by his shirt and dragging him back to the sofa.
"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted irritably as Sasuke dropped him into the cushions.
"Talk. Maybe it'll help ground you again, remind you which world you belong to." Sasuke crossed his arms expectantly.
Naruto made a face and swatted Sasuke's hand away, trying to get up again. "You moron, what if I say the wrong thing? What if I say that my father's is the correct world and that our first kiss wasn't in the classroom, but behind the training posts?" Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth, groaning. He could see that, know that it was right, but it wasn't right.
Sasuke's frown deepened. "Are these memories overriding your old ones?"
Naruto flopped onto his side and turned his face into his arm. "Not actually overriding as much as they're...pushing the others aside to give themselves room."
Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "Well, that clears it up."
Naruto lifted his head just enough to give Sasuke an annoyed look. "The old memories are still there, the new ones are just taking precedence right now because they keep popping up out of nowhere." Naruto turned his face away. "Not that it should matter to you where our first kiss was or not," he muttered under his breath. He looked around the apartment, momentarily offset. "Sasuke, when did you get this apartment?" It scared him that he couldn't sort through his own thoughts to find the memory he needed.
"Years ago, Naruto. Right after I was released from house arrest."
Naruto swallowed and nodded vaguely. "Right," he said and he remembered now, but he couldn't help searching for the memory behind a haze of images filled with him and Sasuke moving things into his apartment, making little progress because of constantly groping each other.
Sasuke sighed and ran a hand through his hair, unsure of how to deal with the situation, except for what he suggested before. "Start talking, and I'll correct you if you're wrong."
"Tsunade-bachan is Hokage here," he said softly. "My father is..." he felt his throat close and a tightening in his chest.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and said, "Talk about something else."
Naruto took a deep shuddering breath, pushing away thoughts of his father's death that didn't correlate with thoughts of his father laughing and holding his hand the day he joined the ninja academy.
He took another deep breath before continuing. "Kakashi was our team leader for our genin team," he said carefully, slowly. "You and Sakura were my team members, but neither one of you wanted to be." That mostly rang true, except for the part of Sakura ogling him as much as Sasuke.
"I...I tied you up and pretended to be you so I could find out what Sakura thought about me," he said, smiling in both fondness and relief that he'd gotten the memory right...or had he? His smile faded as his brows furrowed in confusion. "Wait."
"No, you've got it right, keep going."
Naruto blinked at him. "But why would I pretend to be you for something like that? Sakura wouldn't leave you or me alone. Always following ..." His brow furrowed in confusion. "You always used to wonder how she kept her mind on studies with the time she spent staring at us."
"Sakura couldn't stand you, Naruto," Sasuke cut in, sounding a tad sharper than was necessary. "You're getting confused again." Sasuke flicked a lock of dark hair out of his eye before settling heavily beside Naruto on the sofa.
"What do you think will happen after we fix things?" It was on the tip of Naruto's tongue to say 'if we fix things' but being optimistic had always been one of his better points.
"Then things go back to normal and you'll at least have the memory of knowing who your family is." Sasuke paused. "And confronting those that kept it from you all this time." He clearly wasn't happy to have learned so late himself the importance of who Naruto's father was.
"But what if it doesn't fix things? What if I stay this way?" Naruto turned to face his friend, hands twisting agitatedly in his lap.
Sasuke watched Naruto fidget before releasing an exasperated breath of air and grasping Naruto's hand, stilling the nervous movement. Naruto stared down at their hands touching and smiled faintly.
"This feels right, at least."
Sasuke gave a snort at the way Naruto was acting. "You're not going to lose who you are," he said firmly. "If anything, you've gained a bit more. How much more confident are you now, how much more stable are you now that you've had that visit with your family?" He couldn't quite keep the bitter tone out of his voice at that. "You're not going to lose yourself," he said again. "I won't let it happen."
Naruto closed his hand around Sasuke's fingers and squeezed lightly. "I know, Sasuke." Naruto bit his lip and scooted closer to Sasuke on the couch. One look from Sasuke, however, and Naruto stilled.
"I'm not going to hold your hand through this, Naruto," Sasuke said, before rolling his eyes at Naruto's pointed look at their hands. "You know what I mean."
He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, to focus on what his childhood had been like, consciously dredging up the memories that he'd blocked to save himself from pain--that overwhelming loneliness, the sense of not-being-wanted, always hated, not needed. He stood up, pulling away from Sasuke, and closed his eyes as he recalled it, fought against any happier 'memories' that weren't his.
I'm going to need therapy after this, he thought, half amused at his tactics. It's not healthy to beat yourself up like this.
"What are you doing?"
Naruto opened his eyes just long enough to give Sasuke an irritated look. "Concentrating on sorting out my memories."
"What's so difficult? All the memories with your father in it are the wrong ones."
Naruto spun on his heel to glare at his friend. "Can you try being a little less of a...?"
Sasuke lifted an eyebrow as Naruto tossed around for a word that didn't include 'asshole' or 'bastard'.
"What I remember--" His words were clipped. "--was that I was told I was an abandoned child, that my parents didn't want me because I was a monster. The whole village delighted in telling me that, and the other children were too young to question it."
Sasuke leaned back into the sofa and crossed his arms. "Cry about it, why don't you," he muttered.
"What was that?" Naruto snapped, eyes flashing. He had heard just fine, of course.
Sasuke returned his glare with a neutral look and didn't reply.
Naruto gnashed his teeth together. "I remember perfectly now what a total and complete jackass you are!" And with that, Naruto let go of his restraints and leaped onto the sofa and a slightly surprised Sasuke.
Sasuke reacted immediately, twisting and pinning Naruto beneath him. "Too slow as usual, dead last." He gave Naruto a self-satisfied smirk and barely avoided a punch to the face and a kick to the ribs.
"Bastard!" Naruto hissed. "Always thinking you were better than me, always had to be the best one, always had to look down on me because of who I was!" He didn't know if it was his mixed up memories that caused the irrational and highly untrue statement or not.
Sasuke looked amused despite that Naruto was now sporting rather sharp claws and appearing to genuinely try and swipe at his throat. He gave Naruto the benefit of the doubt, however, seeing as he was currently confused and frustrated with his web of memories.
"And what is that?" Sasuke said, replying to Naruto's last accusation. "A clumsy dead last?"
"You couldn't fucking handle being surpassed by me so you ran off to that snake-bastard Orochimaru," Naruto hissed, calling up his worst memories and knowing, because of the pain searing his chest, that they were his.
Sasuke's eyes widened for the barest instant, before narrowing at Naruto. "No, I just couldn't stand to see your face anymore. Being surpassed by someone who could only copy attacks taught by a pervert teacher," he said with disdain as he stood up and out of Naruto's way. "Dead last."
Naruto's eyes widened, incredulous. "Copy attacks taught by a pervert teacher? You can't seriously mean Ero-sennin. What about learning your Chidori from Kakashi?"
Sasuke snorted. "I learned it a long time before you learned rasengan."
"Do you hear yourself? Sorry, Sasuke, but the world does not cater to you and your damn superiority complex," Naruto snarled, launching himself at Sasuke the moment he began to turn away.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Sasuke stumbled to the floor, swearing--or trying to--when he realized Naruto had one hell of a grip on his neck.
"Don't ever walk away from me, Uchiha," Naruto growled into his ear.
"Is that you or your other memories talking, Uzumaki?" Sasuke growled out. "You're not fighting me seriously. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you wanted me to beat you." A vicious smile. "To prove to you that I'm better. No matter who you are or were or could be."
"God damn you," Naruto hissed. He stared down into Sasuke's infuriatingly calm face, his cruel words still ringing in his ears and wondered, not for the first time, why he loved him. Sasuke had to be the least loveable person in the world.
Sasuke, on the other hand, was wondering how far he should push Naruto before Naruto seriously tried to kill him.
Therefore, he was shocked when Naruto slumped against him, the fight seemingly gone out of him.
"I hate you," he whispered. "But I don't. You're such a bastard, but you're the only one who listens to me, who's always thought of me as human, regardless of Kyuubi." His eyes closed and he ignored the way Sasuke was completely tense beneath him. "Why do you have to be such an ass, Sasuke, huh?" he muttered, thumping one fist half-heartedly against Sasuke's chest. After a moment, Naruto pulled away, giving a resigned sigh. "Look, just go and do whatever you were doing before. I'm going back home."
Sasuke pushed up off the floor, watching Naruto warily as Naruto slipped his shoes on by the door.
"Naruto," Sasuke said, not really inclined to say anything at all except that he couldn't help the nagging feeling in the back of his head--and an area in his chest that he didn't want to think about--that he should call Naruto back to him. If he wanted to have an inner monologue, which he didn't, then he would probably grudgingly tell himself that Naruto's present state was partly his fault.
"I'll be fine without your help," Naruto said softly, eyes turned away. "Remember, I've done this by myself all my life. I don't need anyone to hold out a hand now." He shut the door firmly as he walked out, but he didn't go very far before he rested against the wall of the apartment and sighed.