Chapter Ten

Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath of the warm summer air, I reflected on how things had changed in the past fortnight. The conviction seemed to come at a convenient time. It was a relief, not a solution, but enough of a compensation to gain a small ounce of closure so that I could begin to feel less guilty about things as I tended to do most of the time recently. Also, Sara's surprising uncharacteristically bitter response of 'too bad he didn't get the death penalty' inappropriately lightened my mood.

It was reassuring to know that my mistakes in the first few hours of her death hadn't ruined any chances of putting her murderer behind bars. Somewhere, I hoped she was watching, was at peace that justice had been done. I couldn't think of a less cheesy cliché that would still be appropriate. What were clichés if not to be cheesy? Wherever she was, I hoped she was happy.

Looking over the bright green grass as the sun hovered low in the sky, I thought about the past week and how I had changed. The nightmares had stopped. No longer were my feelings of loss and guilt and helplessness haunting my dreams in the sickeningly graphic metaphorical way that they had been of late. In a way it felt like I had forgiven myself.

The last dream I remembered having where she faded away from me and I couldn't reach her still played on my mind. It was as though I were preparing myself for a life without her but still trying desperately to hold on, comfort her in the way I hadn't been able to in her last few moments. Not being there to save her took my breath away every time I thought about it. Something I tried not to do too often.

Despite my new lack of nightmares for which I was grateful, I still had something I needed to do. Taking a deep breath I continued to walk across the grass towards my destination, the demon I had come to face.

My heart pounded in my chest as though it were trying to escape. It was a familiar feeling, one of fear, anger and sorrow all rolled into one. Taking small steps across the grass as the rain drizzled down, I followed the wave of mourners that followed the minister like a dutiful sombre army with no desire but no other choice than to follow.

The words spilled from the man's lips as he told us of her life as though he knew her and she had meant something to him. Tears of anger wet my cheeks but I did nothing to cast them away. This was my moment to grieve, to say goodbye. Except my mind was screaming at me. She wasn't really gone. It was all a bad dream.

As her coffin was lowered to the ground, the rain continued to drizzle around me, masking the tears that continued to flow. No one looked at me, no one spoke. It was as though acknowledging my presence would emphasise what they had lost also.

My knees began to buckle and a weak hoarse whispering cry of 'no' fell on deaf ears as her coffin disappeared from sight. I began to feel as though I were falling, following her into the hole in the ground. The touch of another person's hand in mine stopped my fall.

'Hey, how you doing?' Sara asked, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

I smiled and nodded, clasping my hand around hers in return, grateful for the support and loving the feel of her hand against mine.

'It's just the first time I've been here since the funeral,' I said. 'Brings back some scary memories.' I considered laughing bravely but knew that it would be lost on her. She could see through me quicker than a suspect at a crime scene.

'Do you want some more time alone?' she asked quietly, looking ahead.

I shook my head and looked at the headstone in front of us inscribed with Elizabeth's name and a morbidly remorseful memoriam beneath that her parents had chosen. I chose not to read it, looking instead at the flowers I had placed in front of it. They weren't much of a token for what she meant to me but I had no original ideas. Flowers meant I had been here, silently asking for her blessing.

I turned to Sara and smiled at her.

'I've had enough time alone.'

The End

A/N – I know, I know cheesy ending but I don't care. The story is finally over. I hope you all enjoyed this as much as you seemed to enjoy the first part. Personally I think part one is better but I still enjoyed writing part two and attempting to crossover the flashbacks and dreams with what Greg was feeling and what was happening to him. It's hard to write what is in your head sometimes but I hope the flashback in this chapter blended into the reality in the way I pictured it. The idea was that he was gradually letting go of things and moving on.

Anyway i have some more ideas in the pipeline for new fic's and i've started another one featuring Greg although I am tempted to have a go at writing about another character. I have some plans for Nick and Sara! But at the minute i keep writing one really good chapter and then I can't move on.

I may remove my first fan fic from here because I don't like it. I hadn't written anything for a really long time and it all came out being over dramatic and ridiculous to be fair but practice makes perfect and hopefully I've redeemed myself somewhat with this one.

Please review and tell your friends if you enjoyed this story. Thank you!