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Lothiriel
My tears are my only comfort during this journey. They sooth me to sleep every night. I thought that Eomer loved me! If he did, he would not have done this to me! I realized that I loved him when I saw him at Helm's Deep telling a woman that her husband, one of his Rohirrim, had died fighting. She started crying and he held her close and spoke soothing words to her, as if she were his own mother. Her children stood at her feet and he bent down and hugged them as well. Then he gave her coins from his own pocket to help her get her footing at Edoras. She could not thank him enough. He told her that it was all he could do to repay her for her husband's sacrifice. I had stood behind a cart and tears started falling from my eyes. It was then that I realized that I wanted to be his wife. Now I don't know what I feel. Do I still have feelings for him? I don't know.
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October 16, 3019 3:40 p.m.
I arrived in the late afternoon with my troops and stormed into the throne room where my brother, Prince Elphir, was busy looking over some plans for a new garden. He looked up at me and smiled.
"Sister! Come here and look. We are making you a new garden." I came up to him and he ignored my look of dejection. "See, here we are putting your favorite flowers; and here, those bushes you love with the red flowers."
I put my hand over his papers. "Brother, did you not hear what happened at Rohan?"
He smiled as he withdrew my hand, but I knew that he was fuming with anger. "Sister, there will be time enough to discuss your visit to our neighboring allies later." I shot him another look so he took my arm and led me to the room beside the throne.
"Elphir-"
"Wait." He quickly shut the door and locked it, then closed the linen curtains. "Sister, while I am your brother, I am also your Prince and I must reprimand you for what was just displayed in our throne room." I winced at his cold stare. "The servants, the knights, even the privy council, have been gossiping to no end about your visit to Rohan. Talking about it will only harm your virtue more." His tone changed and he gripped my shoulders with his strong hands. "Now, I must ask you something as your brother." He paused and swallowed. "Do you carry his child?"
My hand immediately went to my stomach. "No. I have felt no life within me." A tear trickled down my cheek as a wave of emotion swept over me.
"I am sorry, sister." He held my head to his chest as I cried. "If you had held his child, he would have been forced to marry you and admit his error. That would have restored your virtue." He kissed my head. "Enough misery." He let me go and wiped a few tears from my cheek. "Let's go plan that garden." I smiled and followed him back into the throne room.
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I could not sleep that night. The thought of losing my virtue plagued me. I would never be suitable to marry now. I would remain the Prince's spinster sister forever. My womb would always remain empty. I fought back tears as I threw on a robe and went to walk the halls near the throne room. My thoughts made my head spin.
'Suppose I do carry Eomer's child. Then I will move to Rohan and be his queen.' I smiled and walked faster. 'But what if he didn't want me in the first place. Then he would be obligated to take me as his wife.' I walked slower. 'If that were true, then he would take a concubine and I would never have his heart.' I almost cried. 'Suppose I don't want his heart.' I held my head up high. 'After what he did to me, does he expect me to give in to him? Never!' My thoughts were interrupted by voices in the throne room. It was Elphir and Glamdris
"Glamdris, how could you be so stupid!" I peeked into the room.
"Your majesty, please let me-"
Elphir swung at him. "You disobeyed my father's orders and left my sister's side to fight in the war! I don't believe you Glamdris!"
Glamdris stood up tall. "I am proud to say that I fought in the war. Rohan needed troops, so I signed up."
"Glamdris, enough. I am holding you fully responsible for what happened to my sister. Had you been there for the five months that you were gone, you might have taught my sister a few rules about proper feast behavior. I heard from the other soldiers that both of you were drunk within a half hour."
"She was sad because of Prince Imrahil-"
"I was sad too, Glamdris…but I know how to control my feelings. I don't drown them in wine." I winced a little. Perhaps this was my fault.
"Maybe not, but I know that King Eomer knows the way of the court. He drank no wine except for a toast and did nothing to stop your sister from drinking hers."
"I never thought of that." He was silent. "Even if that's true, putting the blame on King Eomer will not save you from my wrath. She shouldn't have even been sitting with him! Sitting with a man she is not betrothed to is also bad for her virtue." Elphir buried his head in his hands.
"King Eomer had not asked for her hand…yet."
Elphir looked up. "King Eomer had intentions?"
"Yes, your majesty. I overheard him speaking to King Elessar about it. King Elessar agreed to the marriage."
"You swear this is true."
"On my life, your majesty." The room was quiet.
"If King Eomer wanted my sister's hand, he should have known better than to harm her virtue." Elphir started pacing the floor in front of the throne. "Did he think that after getting permission for the marriage he could join my sister in her bed? The fool!" I nodded my agreement. What gave him that right?
"What will we do, your majesty?"
"I received a letter from King Elessar and he told me what he wants us to do. If Lothiriel conceives, King Eomer must marry her. If she does not, he is free to marry who he wishes."
"And what if she does not conceive, but he still wants her as his bride."
"We will worry about that when we must. In the meantime, you are free to go. Tell no one what we have spoken of here."
"On my life, your majesty." Glamdris turned to exit through the door that I stood at. I quickly picked up my skirts and ran back to my room.
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Lothiriel
Elphir bade me go to my physician and see if Eomer really did touch me. I told him no. If my physician says that I am not a virgin, King Elessar will make Eomer marry me. I do not want to force him to marry me. If I do, he will resent me. On the other hand, if my physician tells me that I am still a virgin, I will be known as a liar. No one wants a liar as a wife. If I do not have the test done, we will be at a stand still. King Elessar cannot force Eomer to marry me, and Elphir might be able to get a nobleman to marry me. It's risk, but I am willing to take it.
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