Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter for you all! I'm so sorry there was no update last week, I was working on a new oneshot I posted, and then I was focusing on If We Never Say Goodbye, and getting the next chapter of that up. And I just didn't have the time to devote to this chapter, or the Whatever Comes Next update. But that's coming this week, as well!
I hope you all enjoy this chapter, things are definitely gonna start to get… I'll just say interesting, here soon. Thank you so much for reading, I can't wait to hear your feedback!
Stay safe, everyone!
Chapter Ninety
Matt stepped into the living room, full bottle of milk in his hand as his eyes immediately found his wife and daughter, Gabby cradling a clearly cranky Sofia in her arms as the baby wailed in displeasure, desperately wanting something to eat.
"I know, baby." She murmured, stroking the top of Sofia's head as Matt hurried up his steps towards the couch.
"Sorry, sorry." He apologized as he handed her the bottle, Gabby shaking her head as she shot him a weak smile.
"It's fine, babe." She replied, taking the food from him and bringing it up to Sofia's lips, hoping that her daughter would calm down once she started eating. But when the baby registered the bottle, her cries got louder, Sofia moving her head away and waving her arms around, pushing the food away from her mouth. Sighing softly, Gabby shook her head as she tried to feed her again. "C'mon Sof, I know you're hungry."
But her efforts proved useless as Sofia continued to struggle, the baby pushing her face towards Gabby's chest eagerly, her wails only continuing to get louder.
"Want me to try?" Matt offered, seeing his wife struggling to feed their girl. But Gabby shook her head, the woman handing the bottle back to him before adjusting her baby in her arms.
"No, no it's okay… She wants me." She breathed out tiredly, Gabby balancing Sofia in her lap before she lifted up her shirt and unclipped her nursing bra, lifting her daughter towards her chest as Sofia latched on eagerly. The baby's bright blue eyes were locked on her mom while she began to feed, Gabby wiping away the tears on her daughter's skin as she adjusted them back into the couch. "Yeah, you're alright." She spoke before releasing a soft sigh, Gabby glancing over to see Matt placing the full bottle down on the coffee table. "Sorry, I just- I didn't feel like fighting her."
Matt nodded understandingly as he watched Sofia grip onto her mother, a few stray tears still falling down his daughter's cheeks before Gabby wiped them away. "It's okay." He assured her, tearing his eyes away from Sofia and shooting his wife a soft smile. "I'll put this back in the fridge in a minute." Matt added, Gabby giving him a nod before focusing her attention back on their little girl, seeing she'd calmed down considerably in the few moments she'd been feeding, Sofia happy now that she had the comfort of her mom. Which wasn't unusual as of late.
The little girl had been doing this a lot recently, having resistance towards the bottle regardless of who was trying to feed her, and she had been ever since the fall she'd taken last week. She hadn't wanted it at all, all she wanted was to nurse from her mom. Whenever they'd try and bottle feed her, she put up a fight every time, much like she had months ago when they first introduced it to her. She would push it away, and refuse to latch onto it, the little girl usually crying as well.
There were times they were persistent, Gabby and Matt pushing through until Sofia would reluctantly take the bottle. But there were other moments, like today, where they just didn't have the energy to push her, and Gabby would give in and nurse their little girl. Though Sofia was doing alright with her solids, and she didn't have any problem sitting in her highchair and eating whatever food her parents gave her, Sofia was still getting the bulk of her food from Gabby. And her putting up so much of fight against being given breast milk through the bottle, had led to her nursing a lot more frequently than Gabby was used to, which hadn't been the easiest on the mother. To go from nursing less than half the time, to Sofia constantly wanting to be on her, it was a little stressful for both Gabby and their daughter. But they were working their way through it, the parents hoping this phase of Sofia being extra clingy would pass soon.
After the baby's visit to the hospital last week, Sofia's desire to be with her parents wasn't all that surprising. They couldn't even imagine what their little girl had gone through, how she'd clearly been scared after what happened, but she wasn't able to understand what was going on. Thankfully, Sofia was alright. The swelling on the back of her head had gone down considerably, and they'd finished out Sofia's prescribed medication a few days ago, and things were slowly starting to get back to normal for the family of three. But that had been a very hard day on all of them, and the parents were fine to give some leniency from Sofia's usual routine, knowing the extra comfort their daughter needed was something they'd just have to ride out.
"She okay?" Matt asked after a few moments of quiet, Sofia hadn't not made a sound since she began eating, Gabby lifting her head up to look towards her husband.
"Yeah, she's alright now." Gabby assured him, flashing him a soft smile before drawing in a slow breath. "So… are we still on with Sam tomorrow?" She questioned, Gabby gently removing Sofia's little hand from her chest so the baby would stop pinching her skin.
"We are." Matt assured her, lifting his arm up to rest on the back of the couch behind Gabby, his fingers coming up to scratch gently over her shoulder. "I talked to him earlier while you were in the shower, we're supposed to meet him at the townhouse at 10… He said he was happy to hear from us, that he's excited for us to see the place again." He explained, Gabby's eyebrows raising slightly.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." He confirmed with a nod. "He said that he had a good feeling about us, but when he went so long without hearing from us he wasn't sure… But the place we saw is still available, and I told him that we both still really love it. We just want to do one last tour of it before making our final decision." He told her, Gabby nodding in agreement.
A few days ago, the couple had come to the conclusion that the townhouse they'd loved was the place they wanted to call home. They'd seen so many places, all of which were good and had things the couple loved about them, but no place had given them that same feeling as the townhouse did. That place felt like home the second they stepped inside, and they both knew it. They just wanted to go see it one last time before deciding to take that leap.
The couple had been wanting to talk about it more before Sofia's trip to the hospital, but that unexpected event put everything with their new possible home on the back-burner for a few days. But now that they were sure their little girl was alright, they didn't want to wait anymore. They wanted to get started on the next phase of their life together, their life with their little family. The family that would, in time, continue to grow. And that was not something that could be done in this apartment, despite how much they loved it here.
The sound of Gabby sucking in a sharp breath grabbed his attention, Matt noticing her flinch slightly as she quickly moved to adjust the baby in her arms.
"You okay?" He asked, his eyes flashing between the feeding daughter and his wife as Gabby carefully pulled Sofia off of her for a moment, the baby immediately fussing as she reached out for her mom.
"I'm fine, she just bit down pretty hard." She responded as she moved Sofia back towards her, the baby regaining her latch the second Gabby was within reach. "I'm not going anywhere, it's alright Sof." She spoke to the baby in her arms, stroking her daughter's smooth cheek as Sofia continued to eat, Gabby shaking her head slightly before looking back up at her husband. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"Oh, nothing- I was just talking about my conversation with Sam. I'm excited to go see the place again… I know every home we've seen since then, we've kind of been comparing to that one, so hopefully it's exactly how we remember it." He told her with a gentle smile, Gabby giving him a quick nod.
"And you said we're meeting him at 10 right?" She questioned, Matt nodding despite the fact he'd just told her that moments prior.
"We are. I figured that'd be best… Keeps us out of Sofia's napping window, so by the time we get back home we can feed her then put her down for a nap." He explained his reasoning, Gabby nodding in agreement before she leaned into his side slightly, Matt meeting her halfway as he shifted himself closer to his girls.
"So you think we're okay to take Sof with us?" She asked, Matt's eyebrows furrowing slightly.
"Yeah, of course." He replied lightly, stroking his thumb over Gabby's shoulder. "She did fine last time. I'm sure she'll want one of us to carry her, but I think it'll be good to take her again. We can let her crawl around, get a better feel for the place that, hopefully, will be our home soon." He added with a soft smile, Gabby matching his grin before giving him a nod.
"Sounds good." She responded as Matt reached out to rub his hand along Sofia's arm, the baby's eyes darting around when she felt his presence. "I really hope all this works out…" Gabby murmured, Matt continuing his soothing movements against his wife's shoulder. "As much as I love living here, I'm excited to start somewhere new… and I really think this place is perfect for us."
"I do, too." He agreed gently, leaning forward to press a kiss to the side of her head, nuzzling his nose against her hair as they sat together on the couch. "Everything's gonna work out just fine… I have a good feeling about it." He told her, Gabby lifting her head back slightly to look at him, Matt seeing the soft smile covering her face.
"Oh you do, huh?" She asked teasingly, Matt nodding with a bright grin.
"I do." He replied knowingly, the man leaning in to press a firm and quick kiss against her lips, the force of his movements stunning her as he pulled back, Matt smirking when he saw the dazed look on her face as she slowly opened her eyes, Gabby biting down on her bottom lip shyly when she noticed his stares. "I have a great feeling about this. I truly think this place is supposed to be our home."
"I do, too." She replied, her voice soft as her lips turned up into a smile, Matt mirroring her expression as he lifted his hand up from her shoulder to cradle the back of her head, the man nudging her forward as their lips connected in another heated kiss, Gabby more than ready this time.
Casey hopped down out of the rig, his eyes immediately moving towards the parked ambulance directly across from him, the vehicle telling him that Gabby was still here as 81 and squad 3 had just returned from a call to a car accident. Luckily, as far as he knew, no lives had been lost, but it was a pretty rough scene nonetheless. One where Matt couldn't help but feel a little grateful that Gabby hadn't been there for.
"Hey Captain." Herrmann called as Matt stopped his path towards the firehouse, Casey looking back to see the older firefighter hanging up his gear before he jogged to catch up with him.
"What's up, Herrmann?" He asked as he stopped between the rigs while squad moved back to their table.
"Any news on when we're losing Dawson yet?" The man questioned, Matt raising his eyebrows as his arms crossed over his chest.
Gabby's new assignment from headquarters had been no secret around the house, in fact it didn't take long at all for the entire firehouse to know Gabby would be missing a few shifts here and there while she helped out the department. But while the house knew Dawson would be splitting her time between 51 and some other stations, no one had any details yet. And rarely a shift went by where Herrmann didn't ask either him or Gabby about it.
"Nothing yet, Herrmann." He replied, the older firefighter giving her a nod. "I do know that she's supposed to be hearing from them today or tomorrow, to find out when she'll start doing shifts at other houses, but we don't have her schedule yet or anything." He explained, Herrmann nodding once again. "I think she was supposed to start a few days ago, but with Sofia getting hurt, that kind of delayed everything. But I imagine here soon we'll be without her for a little bit."
"Sounds good, Captain. Just wasn't sure if you knew yet or not." He said, Matt shaking his head as he took a few steps backwards towards the double doors.
"We don't, but we probably will here soon. As soon as we know something, we'll tell you guys, though." He assured him, Herrmann nodding before Matt turned around, the firefighter intent on heading inside but Kelly's voice stopped him.
"We still on for tomorrow night, Casey?"
Matt turned to face his friend, confusion covering Casey's face as Severide watched him expectantly, realization soon covering Kelly's features.
"You forgot, didn't you?"
"What am I- oh, the guys night." Matt spoke suddenly, Kelly shaking his head at the terminology.
"Okay, just because Dawson called it that doesn't mean you have to." Severide replied quickly, his words earning a few laughs from the squad guys. "But you coming over for beers, is that still happening?" He asked, Matt wincing slightly.
"Uh, I'm not sure. I'll need to check with Gabby, I think we both kind of forgot about it." He admitted, Kelly clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth as he shook his head again. "Sorry Sev, but we've kind of had a lot going on recently… Your off hand comment about me coming over for beers slipped my mind, I'm sorry."
"Easy there tiger, it's fine." Severide replied with a chuckle, Matt's body relaxing slightly, knowing he'd been a little more sarcastic than he probably needed to. "You're busy being a family man, I get it… With the baby, Gabby's new gig, and the move, you have a lot on your plate, I get it." He told his friend, Matt flashing him an appreciative smile, but the grin soon fell when the next words left Kelly's mouth. "I'm gonna be holding it against you for the foreseeable future, but I get it." He added smugly, Casey suppressing an eye roll.
"Move?" Cruz asked once Severide had finished talking, Matt turning towards the man. "You guys are moving?"
"Oh man, did you get the townhouse?" Herrmann asked excitedly, inserting himself back into the conversation as Casey clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
"It's not officially ours yet-"
"But the Casey's are on the move." Severide interrupted him, leaning back in his recliner. "They're about to be homeowners."
"Alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Matt spoke, but his words did nothing for the cheers and congratulatory claps he was receiving.
It had been a few days since they'd gone and seen the townhome again, when they went to make sure they were positive this was where they wanted to spend at least the next few years of their life, if not many years past that. And while they went into the visit knowing there was a good chance this would be the place for them, they hadn't expected the showing to end with them putting in an offer before they left. But they had, neither Matt nor Gabby wanting to waste any more time when they knew this was where they wanted to live, and then everything had progressed rather quickly after that.
It took less than a day for Sam to get back to them, the realtor giving them the good news that the owners of the building had accepted their amount. Truthfully, Matt and Gabby were both a little shocked it had happened as fast as it did, the couple expecting the negotiating to be more of a headache, but everything went easily enough for the anxious buyers, and they'd been able to continue to the next steps of that perfect townhome becoming theirs.
"Do you know when you're moving in?" Herrmann asked, Matt giving him a soft shrug in response.
"We don't have any exact dates.. We haven't closed on the place yet or anything, but most of the paperwork's in order. We just have to go sign one more thing tomorrow, then we're really just waiting. But barring any issues with the inspection, I'm hoping we'll get the keys here in a few weeks." He said, Herrmann nodding with a bright grin.
"Well, that's great Casey. I'm really happy for you two." He replied, his words earning some nods in agreement from the rest of the firefighters. "And I can't wait to see this place when you are all moved in and settled."
"Yeah, we'll have to bring you all by. Maybe we'll have a little housewarming party or something, I don't know I'll have to talk to Gabby. But the place is great, we love it." He told them, Herrmann clasping him on the shoulder supportively as Matt gave him a nod, the Captain beginning to break away from the group. "And Sev, for tomorrow how about you bring some pizza, Gabby and I will have the beer, and you can come by the apartment and help us pack?" He offered, Severide's eyebrows furrowing as Casey continued towards the doors.
"That does not sound like as much fun as our guy's night…" He called back, Matt giving him a knowing look.
"I thought we weren't calling it that?" He shot back before disappearing out of sight, Casey unable to hear whatever smug remark Kelly surely gave as he stepped through the double doors. Moving into the firehouse, Matt's eyes looked around the nearly empty room, seeing Brett and Foster taking up Herrmann's and Mouch's spots on the couch, while a few guys from engine were spread throughout the room. But the one face that he was looking for, he couldn't find.
"Where's Dawson?" He asked, looking towards the two paramedics, knowing they were his best shot at getting an answer.
"She went to lie down." Brett replied, tearing her eyes away from the TV for a moment as Foster did the same thing.
"Is she okay?" Casey asked, his eyes flashing down the hallway.
"Yeah… She said she had a headache, was gonna try and sleep it off." Foster explained, Matt giving them a nod and quick 'thank you' before heading down the hallway, the firefighter making his way to the bunk room.
The second he stepped inside, his eyes moved towards Gabby's bunk, which he immediately found empty, the man's eyebrows furrowing as he stepped further into the room. Figuring she might've just gotten up to go to the bathroom or something along those lines, Matt continued through the room, making the quick decision to go check the locker room to see if he could find her, but his steps slowed when he caught sight of his office. In one glance, Casey quickly noticed that all the blinds on his windows were shut and his door was closed, the Captain changing his path towards the small room, knowing he hadn't left his office like this before he left for 81's last call. The closer he got, he could hear Gabby's soft voice flooding out of the room, confusion filling his features as he reached for the handle and slowly pushed the door open.
Casey's eyes immediately found her, seeing his wife sitting on his bed with her phone up to her ear, her back leaned against the wall to make her comfortable while she was pumping, Gabby flashing him a small smile before continuing on with her conversation. Wanting to ensure his wife's privacy, Matt quickly stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, effectively shutting them off from everyone else in the firehouse as he moved to stand at the end of his bed, Gabby keeping her warm eyes on him.
"Yeah, that sounds great." Gabby responded to whoever was on the other end of the line, Matt hearing a voice but he was unable to make out what they were saying, the firefighter turning around and grabbing his chair, spinning it to face the bed before he sat down, Casey unsure of how much longer this call would be lasting.
"Okay, so Station 126 next shift?" She questioned, pursing her lips together as she waited for her answer. "...And you're sending me the full schedule later today? … Alright, sounds good. Thank you."
After a few more cordial goodbyes, Gabby pulled the phone away from her ear, ending the call before looking up towards her husband, finding his soft gaze on her.
"Hi." She spoke softly, placing her phone down on the bed beside her as she relaxed back against the wall.
"Hey… Everything okay?" He questioned, Gabby raising her eyebrows. "Foster said you had a headache." He added when he saw the confusion on her face, Gabby giving him a slight nod.
"Oh, I'm fine. It was just a tension headache, I think… But I took some ibuprofen, and was able to lay down for a bit, so I'm feeling better." She explained, Matt giving her a nod as she flashed him a small smile. "And sorry I kind of took over your office." She added with a sheepish look, Matt cocking his head to the side. "I decided to try and nap in here..."
"I was a little curious about that, since you do have your own bunk out there Mrs. Casey." He teased her, Gabby's smile growing slightly before she shrugged.
"Yours is more comfortable." She replied simply, earning a hum from her husband as she gestured down towards her chest. "And plus I knew I'd need to pump anyway, so it was easier to just nap in here." She added lightly, Matt leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on the edge of his bed.
"You can be in here whenever you want, babe." He reminded her softly, even though he knew he didn't need to. Though Matt's office had always kind of been a place for both of them, ever since Gabby had returned to work after having Sofia, it had been the place she used whenever she needed to pump, the cozy space giving her all the privacy she needed while letting her be comfortable as well. "So what was that about?" He asked, his gaze flashing towards the phone sitting beside her, it taking Gabby a second before she realized what he was asking her.
"Oh, uh- it was the call about the training program, they were calling about my schedule, and to make sure I'm still good to do this and everything." She replied, Matt giving her a supportive nod.
"So next shift?" He asked, catching her gaze.
"Yeah… It'll fluctuate depending on the day, but they're supposed to send me my full schedule later." She told him as she finished pumping, Gabby sitting up before she began detaching the device from herself. "But they said most of my shifts at other houses line up with my shifts here, there's just a few times they don't. So it looks like you'll be without me here for a bit." She continued to explain, Matt keeping his eyes on her while she adjusted her clothing. "And there will be a night or two a week where they need me at headquarters, so I can keep them updated on how things are going."
"That's alright." He responded, flashing her a warm grin when she met his gaze. "I know you're looking forward to this, and it's a great opportunity for you. A few shifts apart is nothing, it'll be fine." He assured him, his smile widening. "This is a great thing, babe." He finished, his eyebrows furrowing when he saw the look that flashed across her face. "...Isn't it?"
"Is it." She was quick to reply, her tone causing him to worry as she pushed herself up off the bed, Gabby giving him a weak smile, nodding towards the pumps in her hands. "I'm just gonna go clean this stuff off." She told him before continuing towards the door, but he stopped her.
"Gabby." His voice was soft, Dawson glancing back towards him just as she got to the door. "Come here." He prompted, the man extending his arm, holding his hand out to her and waving her towards him. Sighing softly, Gabby pursed her lips together before walking back towards him, the woman stopping to place the items in her hands on the bed before reaching for his hand, Matt immediately guiding her down to sit in his lap. The movement caught her a little off guard, but she fell easily down onto him as his arm wrapped around her waist, keeping her secure in his grasp as she instinctively circled her arm around his neck. He caught her gaze once she'd settled, Matt offering her a gentle smile as he ran his hand over her side. "What's going on in there?" He asked, bringing his free hand up to tap his finger against her temple before he moved it down to wrap around her body, Matt's hands clasping together on her hip as he waited for her to open up.
"It's nothing really, I just-" She stopped herself for a moment, Gabby placing her hand on his chest, running her fingers along his collarbone as she slowly met his eyes. "You sure you're alright if I do this?"
His face softened the second he registered her words, a slight hint of uncertainty covering his features as he tightened his hold on her. "Of course I am." He replied without hesitation, Matt unsure of what had led her to question otherwise. "Why wouldn't I be?" He pressed, Gabby drawing in a deep breath before continuing.
"It's just that we've got a lot going on right now, with the townhouse, and Sofia… and just our lives in general. And this isn't just me going to work at another house for a few shifts, this is gonna be something that's pretty time consuming. There's gonna be some extra burden on you while I'm doing this, and there will be days I'm not around as much to help you out." She did her best to explain what was going on in her head, Matt remaining quiet while she spoke, the man continuing to rub soothing patterns over her hip as she leaned into him. "I just… I feel a little bad, I guess. Because even though it's just a few shifts, and a few hours some other nights, I want to make sure you're okay with me doing this." Gabby told him, Matt raising his eyebrows slightly as she released a slow breath. "I know when we first found out, you were on board, but we haven't really talked much about it since…"
"I'm gonna tell you now what I told you when you first got asked about this, and it's that I think this is something great for you." He replied, smiling softly as he gave her side a squeeze. "You're gonna be amazing at this, and for headquarters to come to you, asking for you specifically to do this- that's a big deal. So however much slack I need to pick up around the house, and with Sofia, I don't mind… I know this is a big undertaking for you. It's more than we initially realized it would be, but I still think it's definitely something worth doing." He assured her, his words gradually easing her worries, Gabby sliding her thumb over the top of his chest just below the collar on his shirt. "Sof and I will be good… I mean, she doesn't love me like she loves her Momma, but it's pretty close." He added with a soft grin, Gabby scoffing lightly as she shook her head.
"Sofia is obsessed with you, and we both know it." She replied, Matt cocking his head to the side.
"Even better." He responded quickly, Gabby narrowing her eyes playfully for a moment before her face softened, the wife seeing him purse his lips together as his eyebrows furrowed in thought.
"What is it?" She questioned softly, Matt catching her gaze, the man remaining silent for a moment before speaking up.
"Was it just me?" He asked, his words causing an unsure look to flash in her eyes. "Why you were having some second thoughts about doing this… Was it just because of me?" He elaborated, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek. "Because the last time we talked about it, you were all excited to do this…" He pushed, wanting to make sure he had the full story, Gabby's demeanor telling him there was more to it.
"I… It wasn't just that." She admitted, Matt nodding as he waited for her to continue. "I did want to check and make sure that you were still fine with everything, but… I'm just worried about Sof." She breathed out quietly, a frown forming over his face as he tightened his grip. "I know she's better, that she's fine, I know that. But she's still acting like something's wrong… Like she doesn't feel well, and seeing her like that breaks my heart."
"I know." He murmured supportively, Gabby rubbing her hand over his chest.
"And being away from her more than I normally would… I feel guilty, knowing she needs us and they'll be times I can't be there."
Matt shook his head the second she finished talking, hating the look of doubt and uncertainty he was seeing in her eyes. "Babe, she'll be fine… She is fine." He tried, but his words weren't doing much to appease her worries.
"But when I'm doing this, when I'm away from her, if it's not an entire extra day, it'll be those nights they need me at headquarters… and that's when we've had the most trouble with her. She's only been wanting me before she goes to sleep, and I… I feel bad, knowing they'll be some nights I won't be able to be there." She told him, Matt nodding understandingly.
"I know you're worried about her." He spoke softly. "I am, too… But every night we've been on shift since she got hurt, she's gone to bed without us. Tonight, she'll be going to bed and neither of us will be there, either." He reasoned, Gabby drawing in a deep breath as his words washed over her. "But we know that Becca's got her and she's fine. I know this has been hard on all of us, but Sofia's doing better. She's completely fine… But she is still a baby, and this whole thing just scared her. That's why she's wanted us more than usual, but deep down you and I both know she's alright." He told her, Gabby biting down on her bottom lip before nodding in agreement. "...And, truthfully babe, I think her getting some distance might be good for the both of you." He added carefully, Gabby's eyebrows furrowing as she immediately opened her mouth to say something, but Matt squeezed her side, the look in his eyes silently pleading with her to let him continue. "Just hear me out… We need to try and get her back into her normal routine. That's truly the best thing we can do for her. Since all this happened, she's been attached to both of us, but you especially… she's only wanted you. And I get it, you're her mom and you make her feel safe, so she seeks you out… Can't say I blame the kid." He added lightly, seeing a small smile tug at his wife's lips. "But she also knows she can wear us down… She is one smart little baby, and we've definitely given in to her a lot more than we usually do. But I think maybe getting a little bit of distance will help her, because she'll realize there's no other option, that she can't just continue to cry until we give her to you, and she'll understand she's still okay… That she's still safe, and that nothing is gonna happen to her. I think she needs that, and I think you do, too." He explained, unsure of how his words would be perceived by his wife.
But to his surprise, she slowly nodded after a moment, Gabby drawing in another long, deep breath as she adjusted herself in his lap. "Yeah, maybe…" She conceded, Matt raising his eyebrows slightly. "You might be right, I don't know… I know I've definitely been the one she wears down faster these days." She added with a soft smile, Matt's grin widening as he gave her a knowing look.
"Well, I didn't wanna come out and say it, but…" He spoke teasingly, Gabby shaking her head as the smile stayed on her face. "But really, I know how worried you are. That's part of what makes you such an incredible mom. You're the best mom our daughter could've ever had. But you're also one of the best paramedics the city of Chicago has ever had." He said with a twinkle in his eye, Gabby cocking her head to the side. "You're being recognized for how incredible you are at your job… They came to you for this because they want more people in the department to work the way you do. This is a great opportunity for you, one that I'm so glad you're doing… But I also think it's a good thing for Sofia, too. It won't be too much, but it will be some extra time to help things with Sof get back to normal." He finished, Matt breathing in slowly as he watched Gabby, trying to get a read on how she was feeling.
"...Maybe you're right." She repeated, her voice much stronger this time as a proud look covered his face. "Okay, don't give me that, I'll take it back right now." She added quickly, Gabby trying to stand up but he wouldn't let her, Matt tightening his hold around her waist as a goofy grin appeared over his lips.
"You can't take it back, you already said it." He replied jokingly, Gabby rolling her eyes but she relaxed back into him anyway, both of them knowing she didn't actually want to go anywhere. "But really babe, I think this thing honestly came around at the right time. I think it's going to be great for you, and I think it's gonna help out the department a lot. And more people are gonna learn how badass my girl is." He spoke strongly, Gabby biting down on the inside of her lip as she fought back a smile. "You're gonna go and do this, you're gonna be incredible, and the days you can't be at home, or some nights when headquarters needs you, Sof and I will be fine." He told her strongly, Gabby's smile growing before she nodded.
"Thank you…" She murmured, stroking her hand along the back of his neck. "I am excited to do this, I really am, I just worry-"
"You're a mom, babe. Of course you're gonna worry." He interjected, Gabby raising her eyebrows before he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. He felt her smile against him, Gabby relaxing into his hold just as he pulled back, Matt's hand sliding around to her back, gently encouraging her to lean forward before he cradled her body against him, Gabby hugging herself to him. "But Sof is fine, and I'm fine… We're both good. And however much time you need to devote to this, we'll figure it out. You don't need to worry." He assured her, Gabby nodding as she tucked her head against his neck, breathing in the smell that was completely Matt as he ran his hand lazily up and down her back.
As it so often happened in the busy firehouse, their moment was interrupted by the bells going off, calling 81 back out yet again, Casey releasing a soft sigh as Gabby pulled back.
"Better get out there, Captain." She told him before standing up, Matt keeping a hand on her waist until she was out of reach, the man soon getting up, too.
"Yes ma'am." He replied, Gabby rolling her eyes as he leaned in to give her another quick kiss, the paramedic barely having time to reciprocate before he slid past her towards the door. "Oh, and before I forget," He started to speak, Matt pushing the door open, "Kelly's coming by tomorrow to help us pack… Told him we'd have beer."
"So your guys night turned into a packing night with your wife and baby, huh?" She asked with a soft grin, Matt's smile widening as he took another step out into the bunk room.
"Yeah it did… But that sounds like the perfect night to me." He responded, Matt giving her a quick wink before letting go of the door and jogging towards the direction of the garage, knowing there was work to be done.
"I can't believe I let you talk me into that just for some beer." Severide huffed out as he collapsed down onto the couch, Matt looking up from his spot next to his friend, Kelly bringing his beer up to his lips as he spared a quick glance towards Casey.
"All you did was sit here, drink beer and eat pizza, and play with Sof while Gabby and I packed… I don't think it was anything especially taxing for you." Casey replied, locking his phone and putting it down on the armrest of the couch, Severide shooting him a look.
"...Well I had to buy the pizza." He countered, Matt rolling his eyes before reaching for his own beer that was sitting on the coffee table. "And plus babysitting isn't free." He added before taking another sip, a heavy scoff leaving Casey's lips as he shook his head. "But you and Dawson did seem to make some progress… I mean, the place is a wreck, and I don't remember you all ever having this much crap when I lived here," He shot, earning a slight glare from his friend, "but we got more done than I thought we would." Severide finished, Matt giving him a nod in agreement.
Though Severide had helped more with the baby than with the actual packing, him keeping Sofia occupied had made things go a lot smoother than they would've without him. At first Gabby was a little unsure of how Sofia would be with him, especially when both her and Matt would still be home but they wouldn't be with her, but thankfully, the little girl had been fine. She fussed a bit at first, like she always did when taken away from her parents, but as soon as Severide distracted her with one of her favorite toys, she was content. And that had made the entire process go a lot easier.
With the Casey's still not having an exact date of when they'd be getting the keys to their new home, it was hard for them to pack up too much of their stuff, the parents not wanting to be without anything they might need for them or their daughter over the next few weeks. So they'd tried to stick to things they knew wouldn't be needed, like all their fall clothes and winter gear, as well as different odds and ends throughout their home that didn't get used very often. They had tried to pack up whatever they could, the couple having spent the better part of their evening stacking filled, labelled boxes by their front door while Kelly handled the baby.
And after a few hours of work, they'd gotten as much packed as they could this evening, both of them deciding to stop when it was time for Sofia to go to sleep, Gabby having taken their little girl into the nursery to nurse her and get her ready for bed around fifteen minutes ago, leaving Casey and Severide to finish up the last box of things before they relaxed for the night.
"So, how are you feeling about all this?" Severide asked, pulling Casey from his thoughts as he looked towards his friend. "Moving out of this apartment? I mean, this place has been through a lot with you and Dawson…" He spoke, Matt nodding slowly before taking a long sip of his beer.
"Honestly? I know it's time, but I do feel a little sad about leaving… Gabby and I have been through a lot here, so it'll be weird." He answered, Kelly giving him an understanding nod. "This was the first, and only, place we've lived together. It's where we raised Louie, and where we brought Sof home for the first time, so it's gonna be a little weird not being here anymore… But there's also a lot of hard memories here, too." He breathed out, Matt running his hand over his mouth as he was bombarded with different memories of them here in this home. "So I guess part of me is excited, because we're… I don't wanna say getting a fresh start, because Gabby and I are good- great, even. But moving to a place where there's not a lot of painful memories associated with it… I'm looking forward to that." Matt told him, Severide giving him another nod. "I think this move is gonna be great for us… and aside from all that, it's necessary."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah… We have no room to grow here. When Gabby and I first got this place, we got it thinking we'd be here for our first kid, and then eventually move into some place bigger… Obviously, it took us longer than we thought to get here, but we knew when we bought this place it wouldn't be somewhere we could live forever. Not if we wanted a bigger family." Casey explained, seeing a small smirk forming over Kelly's face.
"So that's back on the radar, huh?" He asked with a gleam in his eye, Matt watching him expectantly. "More kids for you and Dawson?"
"I don't know if on the radar is accurate because we haven't talked about it recently, but we said we'd come back to it after Sof turned one, and that's coming up here soon. In less than two months, she'll be one… Which is crazy to think about." Casey replied, shaking his head in near disbelief at how quickly the time had gone.
"I can't believe it, either." Severide spoke, shaking his head slightly. "It doesn't feel like all that long ago you guys were in the hospital with her."
"I know." Casey agreed, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth before continuing. "But yeah, I don't know, we really haven't talked about it much recently, so I'm assuming nothing with what we're wanting has changed… Though it might change here soon." He breathed out, Severide picking up on the odd tone in his friend's voice as he raised his eyebrows.
"Why do you say that?" He questioned, catching Casey's unsure gaze, the blonde releasing a heavy sigh before responding.
"I don't know, it's just… I'm still not entirely sure we know how we're gonna be having another kid." Casey told him, confusion covering Severide's face.
"What do you mean? Wouldn't you just… get pregnant?" He questioned, the Lieutenant deciding against making any inappropriate jokes at the expense of his friend. "I mean, you said Gabby got the all clear, that she's fine…"
"She is fine." Casey was quick to assure him. "She is, and she probably would be fine throughout another pregnancy. But since she already had one aneurysm, there's a chance another one could form, and I don't… I don't know if I can go through that again, Sev." He admitted, the words tasting bitter as they left his mouth, Kelly raising his eyebrows.
"...So you two aren't getting pregnant?" He asked, Matt quickly shaking his head.
"I don't know what we're doing, we hadn't really gotten around to discussing it yet… We said for right now if it happened, it happened, but we weren't going to be actively trying. And that when Sofia got older we'd talk about it. But we haven't had that discussion yet."
"But you don't want her to carry another kid?"
"That's not what I'm saying." Casey clarified, Severide giving him a nod. "All I'm saying is we haven't gotten around to talking about it… I'm sure conversations about it are coming, considering Sof's birthday is coming up, but we haven't made any decisions as to what we're doing yet." Matt told him, Kelly pursing his lips together as he sighed heavily.
"Yeah, it sounds like you and Dawson need to talk." He replied with a chuckle, Casey shaking his head slightly before taking another sip of his beer, Severide mimicking his actions, a comfortable quiet falling over the room for a fleeting moment.
"Did I, uh…" Casey started, breaking the quiet as Kelly looked back towards him. "Did I tell you we saw Tina?"
Severide's eyebrows furrowed in question, Matt seeing the wheels turning in his friend's brain as he tried to place the name, Kelly's eyes widening slightly in realization seconds later.
"Oh- Tina… the DCFS lady?"
"Mhmm." Casey hummed in response, Kelly smacking his lips together before nodding slowly.
"Wow… haven't heard that name in awhile." He breathed out.
"Yeah, Gabby and I hadn't seen her in a long time. Not since everything with Bria and her father, and that was over two years ago now." Matt replied, taking another quick drink of his beer. "It was nice to see her, but it was definitely a little strange."
"Where did you see her?" Severide questioned as he adjusted his positioning on the couch.
"At the hospital, when we were there with Sof. When we were leaving, we ran into her. Complete fluke thing." Casey explained as he tapped his finger against the edge of his bottle.
"What was she there for?" He pressed, Kelly still a little unsure as to why Matt was bringing it up.
"There was a little girl… I don't know much about the situation, Tina said she was just there to check on her. But it was one of her kids she's trying to place, I guess she'd gotten hurt and was at the hospital, so Tina was there, too." Matt elaborated, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek as Severide gave him a nod. "And we said we'd go and visit her."
Kelly's wide eyes opened even more, a look of surprise covering his face as he caught Casey's confused gaze. "The little girl?" Kelly asked, realization settling across Matt's features before he quickly shook his head.
"Tina." He clarified, Severide's face softening as he nodded in response. "We're gonna visit Tina."
"Oh, yeah okay, that makes more sense." Kelly spoke with a chuckle. "For a second there, I thought you were about to tell me that you two were gonna foster another kid." He added, Casey furrowing his eyebrows slightly as he shook his head once more.
"No, uh- No… That hasn't really been something we've- not since before everything happened, I don't think… Yeah, no." Casey stumbled over his words, Kelly watching him closely as Matt averted his eyes across the room. "That hasn't really been something we've talked about in awhile." He settled on once he'd regained himself, Severide nodding slowly as he saw Matt take another drink, this one much larger than the last few. "But anyway, we told Tina we'd come by and see her, so I guess Gabby and I are gonna go do that sometime here soon."
Severide nodded again, the man keeping his eyes on his friend as a weird feeling settled in the air around them, Kelly noticing Matt's tense demeanor as the blonde was looking everywhere except him. He wasn't entirely sure what had caused Matt to suddenly become a little distant, but he could only imagine it was because of the topic they were walking around. But what he didn't know was what exactly about it was weighing on Casey's mind.
"...Would you want to?" Severide suddenly asked him, Matt's head turning back towards him, a questioning look covering his face.
"Want to what?"
"Adopt." Kelly spoke suddenly, Matt pursing his lips together. "Or foster another kid." He continued, seeing the blank look on his friend's face. "...I wasn't sure if that was something you or Gabby would want to do… after Louie." He said carefully, Casey drawing in a deep breath before he ran his hand over the side of his face, the man remaining quiet for a few moments as Kelly's heavy words hung in the air.
"I, uh-" He started, clearing his throat before speaking again. "I would, yeah. Of course I would." He replied, Kelly giving him a nod. "The Louie thing… What Gabby and I went through with him, I know parts of us will never heal from that. They just won't. But that entire situation… it wouldn't have to be like that again, if we were to try and adopt." He spoke as steadily as he could, Severide flashing him a supportive smile. "But I would love to adopt a child, if we decided to take that route… But, like I said, it's just not something we've really been able to talk about yet." He finished, Severide nodding again as Matt shifted in his seat.
"Well, I'm sure you guys will go with what's best for you all… But I was serious about you needing to talk to Dawson." He added lightly, dispersing some of the heaviness in the air around them as Matt chuckled softly.
"Yeah, I know Sev." He responded, Kelly shaking his head slightly before the men went back to their beers.
Gabby hummed softly as she rocked back and forth in the chair, cradling her baby in her arms as little Sofia fell deeper and deeper into her sleep, the baby that had been nursing five minutes ago now dead to the world in her mother's secure embrace. The grip Sofia's little hand had on her shirt had loosened, Gabby continuing to hum while she slowly stood up, doing everything she could to ensure her daughter stayed asleep as she transferred her into her crib. Wincing slightly, Gabby slid her hands out from underneath her baby, Sofia settling down into her mattress as her thick onesie kept her warm. After adjusting her shirt, Gabby placed her hand on top of Sofia's chest, the mother feeling the steady breaths she was taking in her sleep. After a few reassuring seconds of knowing that her daughter was alright, Gabby slowly walked away from the crib, leaving the dark room as quietly as she could, Matt and Kelly's voices hitting her ears as soon as she stepped out into the hallway. Gently pulling the door closed behind her, Gabby left it slightly open against the frame, her head turning down the hallway towards the living room as she heard Kelly speak.
"Would you want to?"
Gabby took another step down the hallway as she heard Matt question what he meant, Gabby unsure of what the two friends were talking about, until Kelly's next words halted her in her tracks.
"Adopt… Or foster another kid." Gabby's eyebrows furrowed as she took in Severide's words, her confusion growing more and more with each passing second, as well as the heavy feeling that had started to settle in her gut. "I wasn't sure if that was something you or Gabby would want to do… After Louie."
Severide's last words caused her eyes to fall closed, Gabby feeling an immediate wave of sadness wash over her as she thought of her son; the same wave she'd felt when they'd spoken of Louie after seeing Tina. It was a feeling that never went away, a pain that hadn't seemed to dull even after all these years. There would always be a piece of herself that felt missing, with them not having their son anymore, and she knew Matt felt the same way.
"I would, yeah. Of course I would." Matt's voice filled her ears, Gabby taking another step closer to the living room, the woman stopping just around the corner as the men came into view, her eyes focused on the back of her husband's head as he and Severide sat on the couch. "The Louie thing… What Gabby and I went through with him, I know parts of us will never heal from that. They just won't. But that entire situation… it wouldn't have to be like that again, if we were to try and adopt."
The heavy feeling in her gut only got worse as Matt continued to speak to his friend, Gabby tuning them out as she thought over what she'd heard, the woman surprised to hear how strongly he still felt about all this. She wasn't sure why his words left her a little stunned, but they did. Adoption hadn't really crossed her mind as something they'd be considering, not after everything with Sofia went okay, and Dr. Tanner told them everything was fine. Though they'd made comments here and there about how they'd decide to expand their family, adoption just hadn't been something she'd thought about, so hearing how Matt spoke of it now caught her off guard.
She knew he'd been wanting to look into adoption, before she went to Puerto Rico him going to that agency without her was a big part of what had started the downward spiral of their relationship. But she always just thought him looking into them adopting was because he didn't want to lose her. That the only reason he was pushing so hard for it was because he was scared of her getting pregnant.
But clearly, that wasn't the case. From what little she heard, it seemed to be something that was still very much something he wanted, and the thought of that scared her a little.
All the fears she had, every reason she was terrified to try and adopt, none of those had gone away. She'd never forget the feeling of Andre showing up on their wedding day, or how hopeless and lost she felt when they lost Louie weeks later. She'd never forget the pain both her and Matt went through having to give up their son. It was a deep, emotional scar that would forever be a part of her, and there was nothing that could ever make it completely go away. That fear of having another child taken away from them, it was ingrained in her, and she wasn't sure she could open herself up to that again. To open herself up to constantly worrying whether or not someone would show up on their doorstep and come take their child away. She didn't know if she could handle another loss like that again, not when she knew how excruciatingly painful it was.
But for whatever fear she had, it didn't seem like Matt felt the same way. Though she knew how much losing Louie affected him, and how he still hurt from that, it wasn't enough to deter him from thinking about adoption. And Gabby wasn't sure how she felt about that; she wasn't sure if this was something she could do or not.
All she did know was that they would need to talk. That before they made any decisions about expanding their family, there were discussions that needed to be had, more discussions than she initially realized. And that whichever way they decided to go about bringing another child into their family, it was a choice they'd have to make together.
And despite how nervous the topic made her, she had all the faith in the world that they would.