Chapter Four – Nooks and Crannies

(i)

He woke, head pounding, adrenaline rushing through his veins. It was only when he sat up, arms reaching out, to fight, or flee, that he realised he was hard against his stomach, and he remembered his dream.

He lay back down, and closed his eyes, and tried to ignore the throb in his crotch. Harry had been there. They were under water, in the lake, Harry's face blue from lack of oxygen, his ghostly hands reaching for Cedric as he breathed out bubbles.

"Harry … " Cedric had begun, but he found he was choking on water, drowning, as Harry, blue, cold Harry reached out his icy hands and cupped Cedric's cock.

Pervert, Cedric thought, alone in the dark, listening to Zacharias snore. That shouldn't turn me on. I shouldn't dream about stuff like that. He rolled onto his stomach, the throbbing in his penis slowly easing as he thought, shamefully, maybe my father is right; maybe I am just a pervert.

"I've brought shame upon my whole family," he whispered to himself, trying out his father's words. His voice echoed in the dark. As soon as he'd spoken, he knew he'd said it too loudly. He heard some of the other boys stirring.

"It's too early," someone groaned. Cedric stayed perfectly still. He knew the voice, it was a loud boy called Alain, who slept very lightly.

The noise subsided, and Cedric closed his eyes. He couldn't get back to sleep. All he could see were Harry's blue, dead hands, reaching out to touch the places where he so badly wanted to be touched.

Eventually he got out of bed, and padded out of the dormitory.

(ii)

"I can't sleep," Harry said to Ron, who was staring at the ceiling in the bad next to his. Harry had opened his hangings to look for some diversion, and had seen Ron.

Ron rolled over, away from him, "neither can I," he said, after a moment.

"Why not?"

"I dunno," Ron said.

"The task's in almost two weeks. And I still don't know anything," Harry said. He glanced at his watch; it was five past two.

"Well, with all the time you spend with Hermione, I don't see how you can't know," Ron said.

"That's just it, if she can't find anything, what's the hope for me?"

Ron grunted. Harry wanted to shake him, and ask him what was the matter with him, but he didn't.

He rolled out of bed, and pulled on his glasses. "I'm going to the library," he said. Ron shrugged though the bedclothes.

Harry sighed, and crept out between the beds in the circular room. Crookshanks and a black cat were curled together in a chair by the smouldering ashes in the grate. A fifth year student was leafing, panic-stricken, through some notes, and talking earnestly to another girl. Harry pulled on the invisibility cloak and scrambled through the portrait hole.

He walked blindly down the corridor. He was filled with nerves. He imagined failing the next task, standing and shivering at the edge of the water and knowing absolutely nothing. He saw Ron, turned away from him, the blankets half way up the curve of his back, his face obscured, his voice angry.

He bumped into something solid, and was ready to freeze or hide, his heart pounding, but when he looked up, he saw Cedric where he expected too see Snape.

Harry pulled off the cloak, and smiled at Cedric, who was looking around apprehensively. He lunged forward and hugged Cedric, pressing his face into his chest. He breathed in the familiar smell of him, nuzzling at his chest. Cedric backed away after a moment, however, and smiled at Harry.

"Why are you up?"

"I dunno," Harry said. "Couldn't sleep. I thought I'd go to the library, research, or something."

"Me too," Cedric said. They stood there looking at each other.

Then Cedric put his hand on the back of Harry's head and tilted his face upwards. He kissed Harry's forehead, feather light, and then on his jawbone. He was teasing the skin of Harry's neck with his tongue, when both boys heard the sound of Snape's light tread.

Cedric gaped, looking around wildly, as if expecting some form of escape, but Harry dragged him into an alcove behind a statue which was muttering in its' sleep and draped the cloak over both of them.

They were very close under here, forced to wrap their arms around each other, Cedric ducking his head over Harry's. Snape's footsteps were very light, and it was almost hard to tell when he got close to them. Harry held his breath, and Snape stopped beside the statue, apparently listening.

Harry knew it would be terrible for Snape to find him out-of-bounds again in such a short time, for he'd already thought he'd seen him after he'd made his way back from a late conversation with Cedric in the bathroom. Professor Moody had unfortunately taken the Marauder's map from him, and that made these nighttime wanderings even more difficult.

Snape was peering interestedly at the statue, and Cedric held Harry more tightly. Harry could feel Cedric's heart thumping in his chest.

"Not the lights!" the statue gasped in its sleep.

Snape looked at it for a moment. Then he turned and whisked back along the corridor.

"He never bloody sleeps!" Harry whispered.

"Nah, he's a bat," Cedric said.

"Bats sleep…" Harry began, but Cedric was kissing him again.

Enclosed behind the statue and the invisibility cloak, they began to explore each other's mouths again, Cedric kissing Harry's neck and jaw line, licking him, tasting, reminding himself of the whole taste of Harry as Harry whimpered and pressed himself again the other body.

Harry suddenly felt Cedric's erection pressing against the sliver of skin between his stomach and his crotch. He wanted to grind up into, the feeling of it was making his knees go weak, but he found himself backing away slightly, pressing his body against the wall.

Cedric panted loudly, rasping into the dark his mouth still centimetres from Harry's.

He cupped Harry's chin with one hand, nervously. "You ok?"

"Yeah," Harry said.

"I'm sorry. It's…"

"No," Harry said quickly. "I… I don't mind."

One of his long, seeker fingers stroked Harry's neck. "It doesn't mean we have to do anything about it."

"I know," Harry said. "I dunno. I think I want to … do something."

Cedric smiled and rested his forehead against Harry's.

"Now?"

"Well, not here," Harry said, although here they were as safe as anywhere.

Cedric peered around the statue, and saw Mrs Norris' ghostly eyes looking at them. It was hard to tell if invisibility cloaks worked on cats, she could certainly smell them.

"Why do they all have to come along this corridor?" Harry muttered.

Cedric sighed.

"We'd better go back. Without that map of yours…"

"I know," Harry said. He greatly begrudged Moody this aid in seeing Cedric.

"Tomorrow?" Cedric asked.

Harry nodded, and kissed him once, and then again, and then they were pressed together behind the statue until Cedric pulled away, moaning.

Harry watched him walking awkwardly back along the corridor, and grinned at the sight of him.

Ron seemed to be asleep when Harry got back, and Harry stared at the ceiling, his mind, once obsessed with the tournament, now entirely taken over by Cedric. He thought about Cedric's hardness, pressing into him, and little shivers ran up his spine.

He rolled over angrily in the bed. He knew how a girl and boy had sex – had found out from a video they'd showed him in primary school. He'd never thought about it much before then. The Dursleys' "don't ask questions" policy had never made him feel much like asking anyone anything, had never made him question more than he absolutely had to question. But now he realised his education was woefully lacking. He didn't really have any idea how two boys had sex.

He wondered, blushingly, what he should do. Ask Cedric? He thought about Cedric and his body pressed up against his in the corridor. He imagined himself and Cedric sandwiched together, their skin bare. He imagined their bodies touching, every part of them stuck together. It made him feel warm all over.

(iii)

Cedric sat in the library, across from Harry and Hermione. They were all together, under the pretext of searching for spells for the task, although Cedric thought that Hermione seemed a lot more interested in figuring out whether he was suitable for Harry.

He wasn't sure he liked sitting here with both of them. Talking to two fourth years in public was going to get him noticed, particularly since one of them was the other champion. He liked being alone with Harry, in their quiet world, where he didn't need to pretend that everyone was his friend, where he didn't have to try quite so hard.

Smiling at Hermione was a strain, listening to her ideas, thought they were good, was a strain. He just wanted to be alone with Harry, where he could relax, or failing that, just be alone.

He mentally shook himself, trying to snap out of it. This is Harry's friend, he reminded himself. When he glanced at Harry he realised that he looked nervous too.

"I've been looking into charms, mostly, but anything remotely to do with water is very advanced, I don't know if Harry could do it, everything water-related is at NEWT level, it's supposed to be really difficult to charm water…"

"Yes, it is," Cedric said, "even small amounts, and this is the lake."

Hermione nodded, "that's why I've been trying to go around that, I've concentrated on charms about air or breathing."

Cedric was impressed. "Have you found anything?"

"Not much," Hermione said. "Something called a bubble-head charm, but I'm not sure it would take a sustained amount of time in water."

"Let me see it," Cedric said. Hermione pushed the book over to him, and he peered down at it. He could feel Harry's food underneath the small table, pressed against his. It was distracting.

After another half an hour of study, Hermione pleaded homework.

"You should come too," she said, looking meaningfully at Harry. "Professor McGonagall set us sixteen inches, and I'm not even close."

"I haven't even begun," Harry said gloomily.

Cedric walked beside him out of the library, and touched his shoulder as the three stood in the dark corridor.

"I'll meet you up there," Harry said, finding his voice coming out croaky.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "All right."

"It was nice meeting you," Cedric said.

Hermione smiled and nodded her head.

As soon as she was out of sight, Cedric gave Harry a chaste kiss.

"Bathroom?" he asked.

Harry shook his head, but withdrew the cloak.

"I really do have work," he said, gloomily.

They leant into an alcove between a suit of armour and a window, which wasn't large enough to hide in, but people would be unlikely to bump into their invisible selves. A castle as old as Hogwarts could boast a lot of useful nooks.

Harry smiled up as Cedric's face in the enclosed warmth of the cloak. His grey eyes were shining.

"You're so beautiful," Harry found himself whispering, and then flushed all over, not knowing how he could have said something so stupid.

Cedric only chuckled. "Handsome, Harry, I'm handsome," he said.

After a horribly brief few minutes, Harry, still ensconced in the invisibility cloak, made his way back to the common room.

As soon as he was inside, Ron came over, eyes glittering. "Where were you?" he asked.

"The library," Harry said, "something wrong?"

"So you weren't with Hermione?"

"Yeah, I was, we were in the library. Researching. For my task."

"Researching? So you haven't just been kissing?" Ron said, his ears turning red.

"I –er – what?" Harry said gaping.

"Oh, c'mon, you've clearly been kissing someone. I suppose I should have guessed," Ron said.

"Guessed what – exactly?"

"That you're with Hermione."

Harry couldn't help himself; he burst out laughing. It was just too ridiculous. After he'd been so worried about Ron finding out about Cedric, he thought he was with Hermione.

"It's not funny," Ron said, icily.

"Hermione," Harry called, across the common room, "are we going out?"

She looked at him blankly. "What?"

"See?" Harry said to Ron.

"I don't see why you can't just tell me the truth!" Ron shouted.

"Me and Hermione aren't going out," Harry said, trying to sound calm as his heart pumped. Ron's last remark had stung.

"What are you doing then? Sneaking off all the time?"

Hermione was suddenly standing behind Ron, "I think you should tell him," she said. "He's you're best friend."

I'm gay, the words sprang up into Harry's mind, suddenly, unwanted, and he almost giggled at them.

"Harry?" Ron said. His eyes were still fiery.

"Cedric fancies Sam," Harry found himself saying, his heart thumping.

Ron and Hermione both stared at him. "What?" Ron said.

Hermione spoke for him. "He's going out with Cedric Diggory."

"Diggory? Diggory? The pretty boy?"

Harry turned around from them both, and stormed upstairs. He hated Ron's face, with its jealous expression. He hated Hermione for telling his secret. It was his to tell.

It's not my fault, he thought, none of this is my fault. I didn't ask for all this trouble, all these complications. He lolled back on his bed.

"I'm gay," he said, softly, to the hangings. "I'm gay," he said more loudly, to Neville's empty bed.

Am I gay? Am I really? He wondered. "Harry is a faggot," had been one of Dudley's favourite teases. But Dudley didn't know what it meant.

He thought about Cedric, about his the way he looked at Harry like he was precious. He thought about Cedric's arms on him, and about his lips. He liked the way he could talk to him; there weren't any real secrets.

I just like Cedric, he thought. It seemed easier that way, than the blanket gay statement. He certainly didn't like the other boys in the dorm. He didn't like the thought of kissing Dean or Seamus. He tried to picture some other men – muggle film stars or good-looking Quidditch players - but his mind constantly wandered back to Cedric.

You're besotted, he thought, derisively.

Ron came in, his face flushed. He banged the door behind him, started, and opened it again. He walked over, and sat on his bed opposite Harry.

"I was talking to Hermione," he said.

"Oh?" Harry asked, sounding as cold as he felt.

"She says I'm being a git."

Harry stayed silent.

"I …" Ron didn't seem to know what to say. He pulled at a strand of wool on the top blanket of his bed. His jaw worked, he seemed on the brink of saying something.

"Well, I s'pose I'd better go to bed," he said, quickly, after a long pause. Harry nodded. Ron, fully clothed, drew the hangings around his bed. Harry heard a rustle of fabric, and then silence.

(iv)

"Ron's still weird," Harry told Cedric. Most of Ron's animosity was gone, but he acted like Harry was as close a friend as Justin Finch-Fletchley and had changed partners in most of his classes.

Cedric squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"It's not your fault," Harry said. "People are so stupid."

"Hermione isn't," Cedric said.

"I know, but …" Harry sighed. "Ron was the first real friend I ever had."

"If he's a real friend, he'll come round, I promise you," Cedric said.

"I know. It's just … I feel like I'm choosing you over him. And I've known him longer than I've known you."

Cedric released his hand.

"It's not that I don't … like you, it's just, I dunno, it's almost, not worth it."

"Well, if you feel that way," Cedric said, "why are we here at all?"

"I don't mean it like that. Don't be all…"

"Don't be all what? You think this is easy for me?"

"Well… you know so much, I mean, you know you liked me. I feel like this has all been foisted on me!"

"It hasn't been foisted on you, Harry. I asked you, and you said yes."

"It's not as simple as that!" Harry shouted. He hadn't asked for this. None of this was his fault.

"I never heard my father cry… whatever happened, he never cried. Not until I told him I was gay," Cedric said.

Harry, face still hot with a confused rage, looked at him. "But he boasts about you all the time."

"I know," Cedric said. "It's to hide the fact that I bring shame upon them all. You want to know how long I've liked you, Harry? How long it took me to ask you? I've been looking at you since you were a second year."

"Have you … have you had a boyfriend before me?"

Cedric sighed. "Not really."

"Not really?"

"A couple of drunken kisses," Cedric said.

Harry leant his head on Cedric's shoulder. "So you're almost as naïve as me," he said.

Cedric laughed. "Well, I am a sixth year."

"So?"

"I can get my hands on firewhisky."

Harry grinned. Cedric gave his hair a playful tug.

"Don't think this is easy for me. It isn't any easier than it is for you," Cedric said.

Harder, Cedric thought.

"Okay. I'm … I'm sorry, Cedric."

"Don't worry about it."

"You know what we were talking about yesterday?"

"Rutting?" Cedric asked.

"Rutting?" Harry echoed, perplexed.

Cedric laughed. "I think I'm going to have to buy you a book," he said.

Author's Note: Apologies for taking so long to update. I'll try my hardest to be quicker next time. Many thanks for all the nice reviews I've received.