(i)
Eros woke Cedric later that morning. He tugged insistently at Cedric's earlobe until Cedric grabbed the letter, and made a show of opening it. Eros didn't fly away. He perched on the bedpost, staring at Cedric with disconcerting amber eyes.
"Dad must train you to be like this," Cedric said, picking at the envelope's seal. He didn't want to read another letter from his father, especially not now, when he was still sticky from his night with Harry. It seemed too intrusive.
He scanned the letter once, quickly, and then, his hands shaking, much more slowly. His breath caught, and his heart pounded as he read it one last time. His head swimming, he dressed as quickly as he could, stuffing the letter into his pocket.
Eros flew to his shoulder, nipping his ear and pulling on his hair in ways that could only be described as painful.
"Piss off!" Cedric found himself screaming, shoving at the bird. With an angry tightening of the claws and a smack of wings, Eros flew away, dropping one elegant feather in his wake.
He landed on the windowsill, staring at Cedric balefully.
"Piss off," Cedric said again, much more quietly this time.
As soon as someone spotted him coming down the rickety staircase, the room below fell into a deep hush. Cedric felt, for a second, like he was supposed to be giving a speech. He imagined beginning, "and today, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to speak about the delights of Sodom and Gomorrah…" It was what they would expect, now, after all.
Once he'd reached the bottom of what felt like the longest staircase he'd ever climbed, the room began to fill with the buzz of whispering.
He stood by the staircase, not quite able to bring himself to walk the rest of the way across the room. People who would usually come over to greet him were eyeing him warily. He dug his fingernails into his palms, tugging at the soft skin there.
Ernie Macmillan a fourth year to whom Cedric had never paid the slightest attention walked over to him and smiled.
"Cedric," he said.
"Hullo," Cedric said nervously.
"Sorry to hear about that terrible publicity, Cedric," Ernie said. "She's an awful woman isn't she?"
"Oh – oh, yes," Cedric said, coughing.
"Well, I'm sure everyone's entirely on your side of things, Cedric," Ernie said. Cedric felt a little like a kindly uncle was addressing him, not a fourth year.
"Well – I don't know about that," Cedric said.
"I'm sure all the good people are," Flo said, on the other side of him, giving him a cheerful grin.
"The whole thing is preposterous of course," Ernie said. "I know Harry quite well, I'm sure nothing of that sort would happen with either of you."
"Oh," Cedric said, not sure what to say to that statement. His fingers gripped his palms more tightly.
Flo winked at him, "and even if it were true, we'd still be on Cedric's side, wouldn't we?" she said to Ernie.
"Oh certainly, certainly," Ernie said. "I'd better be off, Cedric, this'll blow over soon enough."
"He's weird," Flo said cheerfully, as Ernie walked off.
"I suppose he can't help it," Cedric mumbled.
Flo laughed. "I'm sure he can't," she said. "I never saw such a self-possessed fourteen-year-old, though."
Cedric smiled. "Flo," he said. "I-"
"It's true isn't it?"
"I – yes – well, I haven't read the article yet, but in principle, yes, it's true."
"Oh well," Flo said. "I'm sure it'll stop being such hot gossip in a week or two."
"Flo, you don't happen to know where the – where the Gryffindor common room is, do you?"
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go up there?" Flo said.
"I have to," Cedric said.
"I do know – I used to go out with one of those Quidditch-playing twins. Had to give it up in the end, too confusing, I always forgot which one I was going out with, but I do know where the common room."
"Thanks," Cedric said. He scratched at the web of skin between his thumb and index finger.
"Come on then," Flo said, and led him through the crowd.
Cedric had never talked to Flo much. He'd never thought of her as his sort of person, she was too loud and too cheeky. She and her group of friends were always fighting someone – whether each other, other students, or the teachers, it didn't seem to matter to them, as long as they were engaged in some sort of mayhem. Not Cedric's sort of person at all, really. But now he felt infinitely grateful to her, as the crowd of people pushed aside, whispering loudly, and she walked through, seemingly totally impervious.
Flo led them up backstairs and through the odd classroom, to places Cedric was sure he'd never been before.
They met one or two students, all of whom Flo seemed to be great friends with, and eventually turned into a long corridor full of portraits.
"Here we are then," Flo said. "The one of the fat lady. I don't know the password."
"Thank you," Cedric said.
"Anytime," Flo said cheerily, and disappeared in the opposite direction from the one in which they'd come.
(ii)
Cedric paced in front of the portrait for a little while, his heart pounding with nerves. Eventually he could stand it no longer, and rapped on the side of the portrait.
"Don't do that!" the woman said. "You'll give me a headache! Who are you, anyway?"
Cedric was spared of answering, as the portrait swung open from the inside.
It was one of the Weasley twins. Cedric wished Flo had stuck around.
"Oh it's you," the twin said.
"Yes, it's me," Cedric said. "I want to speak to Harry."
"'Course you do," the twin grinned, and disappeared, leaving the hole behind the portrait wide open. Cedric tightened his grip on his palms. It was easier to concentrate on being normal that way.
Cedric saw red armchairs and a bright fire. The twin no longer seemed to be paying the slightest attention to him, and he couldn't see Harry anywhere.
Suddenly he came back. "Harry'll be along in a minute," he said. "Want a toffee?"
Cedric thought it would be impolite to refuse. Unwillingly, he loosened his grip on one of his palms, and took one. The toffees looked perfectly safe, anyway. They were big, fat ones. He began to unwrap one.
"Don't!" Hermione said, suddenly, standing between him and the twins. "Never eat anything they give you," she said.
"Aw, Hermione…"
"Why spoil our fun?"
She raised her eyebrows threateningly, and they laughed at her and wandered off.
"Where's Harry?" Cedric asked, shoving the toffee into his pocket.
"I'll get him," she said. She looked worried, and pushed the portrait to as she left.
Harry appeared very soon after, and climbed out. He didn't say anything.
"Well?" Cedric said.
"I thought you didn't want us to be seen together," Harry said softly.
"Can't do much harm now, can it?" Cedric said.
He walked a little way down the corridor, pacing nervously between the blinking portraits. Harry didn't follow him.
"Did you read it?"
"Yeah," Harry said. "You?"
"No, but I got a letter…"
"Oh," Harry bit his lip. "From your dad?"
"Yeah," Cedric balled his hands into even tighter fists. "I'm – I don't – "
"I hate her," Harry said vehemently. "How does she do this? She hurt Hagrid as well!"
"My dad, he hates her so much. He's says she's always stirring up trouble. He hated what she said about Hagrid too."
"I hate that they all know," Harry said. "It was just – I felt like I finally had something that was just mine."
"I bet my dad hates it more," Cedric said glumly. His fingers, unbidden, were tugging harder at his skin.
"Stop that!" Harry said, suddenly, noticing the frenzy of movement. Cedric had barely been aware of what he was doing, but now he found himself starting at the pain.
Cedric shook his head, not sure what he wanted to do, or say, letting his nails gauge deeper into his flesh.
"Cedric … please stop that," Harry said, and grabbed Cedric's hands, firmly and painfully in his own.
"Harry, I'm…" Cedric began, opening his mouth so he wouldn't dig his teeth into his lip.
"It's alright," Harry said awkwardly, not knowing what he meant.
"You're bleeding," Harry said, after a moment. He loosened his grip and looked at Cedric's torn palms; the soft flesh wrinkled and bloodied, the first few layers of skin tugged away.
"I didn't mean to do it," Cedric said, trying and failing to remove his hands from Harry's sight.
"It's not deep," said Harry, "only your nails. Looks sore though."
"It doesn't really hurt," Cedric said.
Harry rummaged in his robes and found a tissue. He moped at Cedric's hands.
"I'm sorry," Cedric said.
"Me too," Harry said with feeling. "I hate her so much. And I hate that everyone knows. I'm not even gay."
"Don't start that again," Cedric said.
"And you don't do that again," Harry said, wrapping another tissue around Cedric's right hand, which was in slightly worse condition than his left.
"I didn't think about it. Doing that. I just started," Cedric said.
"I wish you wouldn't. Start," Harry said.
"What are we going to do?" Cedric asked.
"Nothing," Harry said.
"Nothing?"
"I don't know," Harry said. "What can we do?"
"We can't stand here much longer," Cedric said. "Someone will come."
"I thought you said it didn't matter anymore?"
"Perhaps we should pretend?" Cedric said.
"Would they believe us?"
"Ernie said he didn't believe the story," Cedric said.
"Well, he's the only one," Harry said. "Most people seem to believe in the Prophet."
Cedric sighed. "I don't like standing here."
"The bathroom's near," Harry said.
They walked silently, standing a little apart, Cedric clinging to the tissue.
"They were printing it while we were … while we were…"
"I know," Harry said. He stopped walking and wrapped his arms round Cedric, nuzzling his face into Cedric's neck. Cedric stood stiff for a moment, and then held on to Harry.
"I hate this," Cedric muttered indistinctly into Harry's hair, "Hate it."
"Me too," Harry said quietly.
They started walking again, this time leaning much closer together. They reached the statue of Boris the Bewildered, who was asleep but muttering nervously, and Cedric whispered, "pine-fresh," to the door.
It didn't move. It didn't even creak.
"Someone in there?" Cedric asked Harry.
"I don't know," Harry said. "Should we knock?"
"What would we say?" Cedric said.
"We can try again later," Harry said, turning around disconsolately.
"I'm afraid," came a voice from behind, "that that won't help."
They both turned around. It was Professor Flitwick.
"I just changed the password," he said. "One of my duties, you know. A tricky little spell to get them tight enough, particularly on doors unguarded like this one."
He looked at them both for a moment. "Well…" he said. "You'd better come down to my office. Professor Sprout is there too. No need to be worried. We'd just like a little word."
Flitwick's office was large and untidy. Professor Sprout was sitting in an armchair by the fire, looking rather uncomfortable.
"Hullo," she said, putting down a mug of tea.
"Hullo, Professor," Harry said. Cedric seemed too nervous to say anything at all.
"Nasty piece of writing all together. The article on you two wasn't the most venomous thing I've read, but there'll be a lot of howlers in the 'Does Hogwarts encourage Homosexuality?' article on page 5," Professor Flitwick said.
"Tea?" he asked.
Cedric wordlessly shook his head, but Harry accepted a cup.
"We don't usually take these little romances seriously," Professor Sprout said. "Once they are discreet, it's no problem to us. Such a pity that Skeeter woman had too…"
She stopped. Professor Flitwick handed Harry some tea.
"I received a howler from your father this morning, Cedric," Professor Sprout said.
Cedric nodded.
"That's why we had to close off the Prefect's bathroom," she said. "Doesn't look good for us to allow you a private place like that."
Harry nodded, took a sip of tea, and choked.
"We'll have to ask you two to keep as low a profile as you can. Don't meet in public. I don't want to have to take more drastic action," Professor Flitwick said. "It isn't fair and you have my sympathies. But our first priority is the school. Both of you being somewhat in the spotlight at the moment certainly doesn't help matters."
Professor Sprout nodded. She looked uncomfortable. "I need to speak to Cedric alone," she said, giving him a kind smile.
Professor Flitwick led Harry out. "I hope this whole affair won't distract you too much from your schoolwork. I'm giving you an exam tomorrow, you know."
Harry nodded. He'd forgotten all about it.
"Go upstairs and study. Keep your mind off things."
(iii)
Harry hadn't intended to do anything. He'd planned to wait in the common room for a few minuets and then go and find Cedric.
Hermione had waylaid him with books and advice. Ron had looked awkward and tried to help Harry with his pile of ink-splattered notes. Neither of these things had taken Harry's mind off Cedric, but he'd found himself trying to remember Charms he'd learnt in first year and inadvertently sending book raining down on their table.
"Try to concentrate," Hermione said, handing him the relevant notes from under the deluge of books. She was being overly helpful. He barely noticed. He wouldn't have noticed the whispers as he entered a room or usual friends ignoring him if Hermione hadn't kept whispering, "they'll come round, it'll blow over," in a way intended to be comforting.
He caught Cedric's eye at the dinner table and they excused themselves separately. Harry was sure he felt almost every eye on him as he escaped from the throng of people.
"Where?" Cedric asked.
"Up here," Harry said. "It's cold, but…"
He led Cedric into a secret passage he'd found in his third year. It was cold and damp inside. Cedric paced around away from Harry, his head stooped, and Harry shifted uncomfortably, not wanting to lean against the chilly wall.
"Well?" Cedric said, at length.
"What did Sprout say?"
"Not much," Cedric said, pacing. "She gave me some salve for my hands. They've gone numb."
"And?" Harry said.
"Maybe we shouldn't see each other any more," Cedric said.
"What?" Harry said. "Why?" He felt like a cold hand had gripped his spine.
"I haven't even read the bloody article," Cedric said. "I've just got letters and weird stares and freaks like Flo being the only people who'll talk to me."
"I'm sorry about your dad," Harry said, remembering the morning.
"Yeah," Cedric said. "You're so much calmer about this than me."
"I suppose I'm used to it," Harry said. "People paying too much attention to me…"
This wasn't really true, Harry knew. He wasn't exactly used to it. He hated that everyone knew. He hadn't liked even Ron and Hermione knowing. He liked their privacy, how his time with Cedric felt like time spent in another world.
"Well, I'm not," Cedric said. "And my dad is ready to disown me. And Sprout says she's worried about me."
"Well, that's not necessarily a bad thing," Harry said.
"Isn't it?" Cedric said. "No one's felt the need to worry about me before."
Harry shrugged. "I just thought … it could be a lot worse."
"Or better," Cedric said. "I wish it was yesterday again."
"Me too," Harry said. "But they're all just stupid, honestly. Hermione says it'll blow over."
"And Hermione knows all, does she?" Cedric said, surprising himself with the sound in his voice.
Harry's stomach felt tight. He didn't know what to say. Suddenly he remembered Hagrid hiding in his hut.
"Look, Cedric," Harry began, "you can't listen to what people say. Dumbledore said that to Hagrid. That you can't expect worldwide approval, you're never going to get it. You just have to ignore what other people say, and do what you want. If I listened to other people, I'd have hidden myself away in first year. I don't like what happened either, but I'm not going to let that get to me."
Cedric stopped pacing angrily and watched Harry.
Harry didn't notice, "Remember last night? No one knows about that. She can't touch that. The important things are still ours."
Cedric sighed. "You're right, mostly. It's just … it's hard."
"I'm sorry about your dad," Harry repeated.
"I didn't want him to know. I didn't want him to ever know."
"What did he say?" Harry asked, stepping towards Cedric.
Cedric extracted the rumpled letter from his pocket. His eyes flicked over it, smarting.
Cedric,
I can't believe this. Even as I write, I can't believe it. I thought I knew you, son. I've always been so proud of you, even after you told me that you were not normal. I've tried to understand you, to help you, as best I can.
Now I can't do any of that any more. I can't say to myself, he may not be everything I'd hoped for, but at least he's a good boy, the sort of son a father can be proud of.
I almost cried when I read the Prophet this morning. And you know that men like me don't cry. It was such a shock. You mother and I could hardly speak for upset. I cannot understand how you would let someone find out such a thing. That Rita Skeeter woman of all people! You cried in front of her, and showed her that you're a homosexual. Now everyone will know. Everyone. How can I look anyone in the face again?
And with that Potter boy, too. I don't want to think what you've done together. The whole word knows you've kissed him.
I could never really believe it before. I could never think that my own son is a homosexual. I can believe it now, Cedric, after what you've done. For the first time, I'm really ashamed of you.
Amos
He didn't want to show the words to Harry.
"Can't believe you'd say such a thing, how can you do this to me, son? In a nutshell," Cedric said. "With a bit more guilt thrown in … and I am not going to cry again."
"Course you're not," Harry said, and went to hug Cedric, but Cedric stepped away.
"After you and Flitwick left, Sprout said she was shocked," Cedric said.
"I'm sorry," Harry said.
"Yeah," Cedric stood there.
"I don't want to talk to you right now, Harry, I'm sorry," he said. "It's been a long day."
"Can I see you tomorrow?" Harry asked.
"Yeah. Course. Here?"
"It's cold and uncomfortable, just what I've always wanted," Harry said, trying to keep his tone light.
"Wish they hadn't found out about the bathroom," Cedric said.
"The teachers always seem to know everything."
Cedric nodded. He kept pacing.
"It'll be ok, Ced, I promise," Harry said.
"Maybe," Cedric gave a crooked smile before turning away.
A/n: Thanks to everyone for being so patient while waiting for this chapter! And many thanks to Jérémie for the wonderful beta.