I've Got You (A Bunny Oneshot)
By: greasergurlwndr
Author's Note: Hello my beautiful readers! This is my first Bunny fanfic, so please be nice! Happy reading!
I wake up to the same cracked ceilings I do every time I wake up from death. The smell f stale cigarettes and PBR stains fills my nostrils. "Another miserable day in South Park" I think to myself. I pull myself out of bed and make my way toward the door. Mom is passed out on the couch and dad is off doing god knows what.
"Where were you yesterday, twat?" I hear Kevin yell from behind me. I simply roll my eyes. I stopped telling people that I died when I was 13 because it got tiring listening to the "Oh Kenny, you're such an imaginative kid". No one ever remembers, and I'm tired of being a broken record.
"Dead," I say jokingly. Kevin scoffs and mutters something along the lines of "fucking idiot" under his breath.
I open the door to the outside and am immediately hit by the familiar freezing bite of the South Park air. Instinct kicks in and I immediately pull the drawstrings to my parka, so it covers the bottom half of my face. I then begin my walk to Stan's house so I can get a ride to school. As I walk up to the house, I see Stan and Kyle standing close together on the other side of his car. They knew which way I would be coming from, so they were obviously trying to hide from me.
Stan and Kyle are your stereotypical closeted bi-curious teens in an unaccepting small town. Quite frankly, I really couldn't give a shit. Sex is sex. I would be lying if I said I haven't had a threesome with Craig and Tweek one or two times…maybe three…fuck it! It is very often. And yes, I know what you're thinking and you're correct. Tweek is fucking insane in bed. Oh god I need to not be thinking this right now.
"Sup ladies!" I scream at the ebony and red headed "friends". The speed and height at which they jumped would make hurdlers in the Olympics jealous.
"Jesus dude!" Kyle screeches. "Why do you have to sneak up on us like that?"
"Ever heard of getting a room?" I ask in response.
"We were just talking," my Jewish friend says scratching the back of his head.
"Seems a little weird to talk basically pressed up against each other. Listen, if you guys need to take a private car ride, I can just catch a ride with Cartman."
"Godammit, Kenny! Why do you always have to be such a smartass about everything? You're the gay one."
"Why we gotta have terms for everything? Can't we just fuck whoever we want without judgement?" I ask shifting my eyes over to Stan, "You sure are being quiet over there, buddy. Kyle got your tongue?"
Stan rolls his eyes at me "Let's just go, asshat. C'mon Kyle."
"Oooh Kyle! I get a cute nickname. Bet you're jealous."
"How about we play the silent game, but only you can play it, Kenny?" Kyle snarks.
"Awww but I wanna be a part of the dirty talk too!"
"Shut the fuck up!" they say at the same time. How precious.
After a long and sexual tension filled car ride, we arrive to South Park High. As soon as we park, Stan and Kyle basically fly out of the car and walk towards the doors without me. Guess a request for a threesome is out of the question. As I'm walking, I hear a familiar voice behind me.
"Hey Kenny! Wait up!" Bebe Stevens: The hottest girl in South Park and a reoccurring fuck buddy of mine.
"Hey there, gorgeous," I muffle under my coat.
She blushes. "I had a really good time this weekend."
"I that so?" I perk up, "Well, then I guess we'll have to revisit those good times again this soon."
She touches her shoulder against mine and my pants get tight. Yeah, I am a total whore.
"I guess so. I'm gonna see if Wendy would want to join us," she says winking at me.
"Yeah, good luck with that. Wendy has a whole log stuck up her ass, so you're going to have to bring out your best sweet talking for that."
"I think we both know I'm a great sweet talker," she says in her sex voice.
"Oh, I know."
"Well, I'm gonna go get started on Wendy. Catch you in pre-cal?"
"You know it, sweet cheeks."
She squeezes one of my asscheeks and jogs away. I stare at her ass until I can no longer see it. First period is English. Cartman and I usually sit in the back and make fart noises to annoy the teacher. I've never had an interest in school because I usually miss days at a time every time I die, so keeping up is basically pointless. Honestly, I just go to school, so I have something to do. It beats dealing with my meth addict parents.
Today was a fairly boring day in English. We're rereading Catcher in the Rye since the way we were introduced to it in middle school was a little inappropriate. We were all excited because there was a hooker in the book apparently, but we were disappointed by the lack of graphic content. Reading's not really my thing, so I don't bother.
As I listen to Mr. Garrison talk on and on about the stupid book, I direct my attention to the blonde that just fell through the door with his hair disheveled and books sliding across the door.
"Butters Stotch! Have you any idea what time it is?!" Mr. Garrison yells.
Butters looks up at the clock nervously and rubs his knuckles together. "Well, uh, it's 8:18, sir."
"Exactly! So, tell me why you're almost 20 minutes late to class?!"
"Uh, well, ya see, I, uh got stuck in my locker," he stutters looking over to Cartman. I give Cartman a side glare and he mouths "whet!?". I just shake my head in disapproval.
"Uh huh. Nice one, Butters. Next time, come with a legitimate excuse," the totally not gay teacher says.
"Yes sir!"
Butters scrambles to pick up all the books he dropped and makes his way to the last empty desk at the front of the class. For some reason, I've always had a soft spot for the blonde. He was just so naïve and innocent. I mean even the whole "Professor Chaos" thing was comically innocent. Props to him for trying though.
I always felt for the kid. His parents were assholes and no one accepted him for being gay. I, of course, never really gave a shit. But, sadly, a lot of people give a shit in South Park. I stared at the back of the blonde's head for most of the class. The back of his neck was red from embarrassment and all I wanted to do was comfort him-WHOAAAAA let's not get sappy, Kenny. You know better.
The bell saves me from my one hour of suffering and I practically knock my chair over getting up. I walk toward the door and notice one of Butters' books still on the floor. I pick it up and walk over to his desk where he is waiting for everyone to leave so he can avoid listening to people laugh about him. I tap his shoulder and he flinches. Poor guy.
"Don't worry. It's just me. You dropped this," I say holding out the book.
Butters stares at it in shock for a moment. He seems shocked that anyone would show him an act of kindness. "
"Gee, uh, tha-thanks Kenny! That sure is kind of ya," he says timidly grabbing it.
We both hold each other's stares for a long moment both grinning at one another before it's interrupted by Cartman.
"C'mon, Kinny. We're learning about Hitler in history today. Time to terrorize Kyle."
"Jesus, fatass, that's a little too close to home, don't cha think?"
"Remind me again, Kinny. Do you prefer to wear bikini style panties or thongs? I just wanna know since I'm dealing with a total bitch."
I just roll my eyes. "Shut up idiot. I'll meet you there." Cartman wobbles out the door and I turn my attention back to Butters. "So," I begin, "You "got stuck" in your locker, huh?"
He rubs his knuckles together, "Oh, well, um Cartman kinda helped me get stuck."
"As I suspected. Ya'know, you should start fighting back. You won't get anywhere in life if you let people walk all over you."
"Not to be rude, but it's a lot easier for you to say Kenny. You have friends to back you up when people mess with you."
That stung my heart a little. BUT ONLY A LITTLE, "Well, I'll tell you what," I say putting a hand on his shoulder, "You have me as a friend. How about you sit with us at lunch?"
He hesitates before speaking, "What about Eric?"
"As long as I'm there, he won't mess with you."
Butters' eyes light up and I just now notice how big and blue they are, "Oh Kenny, that would be just dandy!"
I smirk at the way he talks, "Cool. I'll see you then."
"Okay!" the bell rings again signaling that our next classes are beginning, "Oh hamburgers! Late for another class!"
I chuckle, "Don't sweat it. I'm a pro at forging late passes."
"But, what i-if we get caught?"
"Didn't I say I would take care of you?"
He lightens up again. I'm starting to realize I like making him smile…
Aw shit.