Disclaimer: Characters belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.
Author's Note: Just a one shot taking place post-Fault. Spoilers for 7x19 Fault (obviously). Reviewslove :).
The pounding on the door gets louder; harder, as Olivia tries to ignore it. Finally, afraid that a very irate Elliot will end up breaking the door, she gets up off of the couch and walks over, looking out the peep hole at him. He looks angry, confused, and more than a little hurt. She doesn't even bother to wipe the tear tracks on her cheeks before opening the door.
He stares at her for a moment, his forearm resting against the doorway, their eyes meeting as he looks at her with a stare that mixes hatred, attraction, and friendship.
"What are you doing here?" she finally asks him, looking away as she reaches up and wipes a few stray tears from her face.
He cocks his head slightly and looks at her in disbelief before starting to repeat her words. "What am I doing ..." he trails off, shaking his head. "What the hell were you thinking, Olivia."
"I just did what you asked of me, Elliot!" she yells, unable to control her emotions anymore. She doesn't remember a time when she's been this broken; when her heart was this shattered. She looks away, not wanting him to see how vulnerable she is.
He opens his mouth to speak, but then puts his index finger on her chin, trying to guide her gaze back onto him. "Look at me, Olivia."
"Fuck you," she says, grabbing his hand and pulling at away from her. "You said I had to choose either you or the job. I made my decision."
"That's just great, Olivia," he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'm so glad I mean so much to you that you're willing to throw away eight years as part-"
"I'm not throwing away anything, Elliot Stabler! You're the one who-"
"Don't you dare try to blame this on me!"
"Get the fuck out of my apartment!" she yells at him, placing her hand on his chest and pushing as tears start pouring down her face. "Get out! I don't ever want to-"
"Would you two shut the fuck up!"
Elliot and Olivia both stare at each other before looking at Olivia's neighbor, an older woman who lived alone. "Sorry," Olivia mumbles, reaching up and wiping her tears again. She turns back to Elliot and says in a quiet, defeated voice, "Just go. Please?"
He shakes his head and steps inside of her apartment, pushing past her and into the living room. He sits down on the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, and he waits for the sound of the door closing; of the dead bolt latching. He glances in front of him and sees the half empty bottle of Vodka and a full shot glass. "How much have you had?" he asks, not holding them up.
She shakes her head, standing with her back against the wall. "None. I poured it but I didn't want to ..." she shrugs. "Elliot. I don't want to talk."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have asked Cragen for a new partner, Olivia."
"Then maybe you should-"
"If you even finish that sentence ..." he starts, shaking his head at her, then looking down at his feet. "Just tell me why. I think that after eight years, I at least deserve an answer to that question. Why the hell did you ask Cragen for a new partner?"
She shakes her head slightly, looking anywhere but at him. She bites on her lower lip, hoping it'll distract her enough to keep her tears at bay. No such luck. She reaches up and swipes at them again before looking right at him. "I can't do this anymore."
"Do what?" he asks, standing up and moving towards her. She tries to take a step back, but the wall is behind her and she closes her eyes in defeat as he stands right in front of her. "Just tell me why."
"I can't choose the job over you anymore," she whispers, her voice barely audible. Her eyes are shut tight and he stares at her as she speaks. "When he had that gun to your head ..." she trails off. "For a few seconds, I didn't even think about Rebecca. I wasn't thinking about Rebecca or Ryan or their parents or ..." she trails off. "All I was thinking of was you. You and what my life would be like without you. About how much your kids would miss you and ..." she trails off again, and then opens her eyes, looking right at him with newfound courage. "I couldn't shoot because I couldn't loose you. Even when I started thinking about Rebecca, when I forced myself to be a cop and not a woman, you were still in the back of my mind, El. I couldn't pull the fucking trigger. If you had died, I never would have recovered. But if I had been the one to cause it-" she chokes on a sob and looks away for a moment, taking a deep breath.
He shakes his head, slowly pulling her into his arms, her face resting against his neck as her body shakes. Her tears soak his neck and his t-shirt and he whispers that "it's okay, Liv," and strokes her hair. "Liv ..."
"I still can't believe that you thought I'd shoot," Olivia whispers into his neck and he pulls her a little closer, resting his face against her neck, too. "You should know me better than that."
"I do, Liv ... I just ... I got scared. I got scared of losing you as my partner and so I wanted you to tell me that. I don't want a new partner. I want you."
"I don't want a new partner, either," she says softly. "But I don't think we have a choice." She softly runs her hands across the soft cotton of his t-shirt, feeling his hard back muscles in the process. She feels his muscles stiffen slightly as she continues to rub his back like that and before she knows it, his lips are pressing against her neck and slowly making their way towards her mouth.
When their lips meet for the first time, she brings one hand up to the back of his neck and brings him into her mouth, deepening the kiss as quickly as she can. Before either of them can even process what's happening, they have their hands on each other's waists, both of them shaking as they start to undress the other.
Elliot pulls away slightly, looking her in the eye and seeing the desire in her eyes, her lips parted slightly. "Are you sure you want to-"
She presses one finger to his lips, silencing him, before taking him by the belt loops and leading him to her bedroom. She falls backwards onto the bed, pulling him on top of her, and kisses him quickly before nodding. "At this point, Elliot, I have no idea what I want on any issue except for this." She pauses, resting her forehead against his, holding him close by placing her hands on his lower back. "Right now, tonight, this is what I need. I just need you."
He nods and quickly finishes stripping her out of her pajama pants and panties, his jeans and boxers quickly following suit. His lips are on her breasts; his finger tips on her inner thighs, and soon, but not soon enough, she finally takes him inside of her, filling her completely for the first time.
He pauses for a moment, looking her in the eye before moving his hips. Already she's breathing heavier than normal and she slowly pulls his face down to kiss him before softly rocking her hips against his, tightening her inner muscles around him. He groans, burying his face in her neck as they move together in the darkness of her bedroom.
Hours later, they lie in silence in each other's arms. Elliot's hand draws patterns on her naked back and he pulls her closer, his lips grazing the top of her head. She sighs contentedly against his chest and he wonders for a moment if maybe she's asleep. Deciding to take a chance, and half hoping she'll think she dreamt it in the morning, he leans closer and whispers softly against her hair.
"I will always choose you, Olivia."
end.