Rating: T

Words: 869

"This is just sad." Komaki shook his head at his fallen friend. "You really need to get some, Dojo."

Dojo lifted his head with an effort from where he had collapsed on the low table in Komaki's room, sending a withering glare up at Komaki. Unfazed, Komaki held up the new pack of beer he had just retrieved from his fridge. "I think maybe you don't actually need any more to drink," he remarked sarcastically, but put the pack down on the table anyway for himself. Dojo cast a weary glance at the empty cans scattered across the table, most of them his, and heaved a long-suffering sigh. "So," Komaki continued as he folded his legs underneath him to sit across from Dojo, "Did you try talking to her?" Dojo, his mind addled as it was, couldn't remember how they had gotten onto the subject of his love life- no, his sex life- and suddenly wanted out, but knew Komaki wasn't going to just let him go.

"I'm not going to rush her into something she's not ready for," he muttered sullenly, a mantra he repeated in his head on a regular basis. Komaki just shook his head at him, looking close to fed-up.

"How do you know she's not ready for it if you don't talk to her about it?" Komaki shot back incredulously. Dojo opened his mouth to snap at him, but Komaki held up a hand in warning. "Look, I know waiting for her is kind of your thing," he interrupted flatly, referring to how Dojo had waited for Iku to confess first to begin their relationship, despite knowing her feelings and reciprocating long before the fact- "but I think in matters like this, you're going to need to take charge. As the more experienced party, you're just going to have to lead her." Dojo closed his mouth, looking away uncomfortably, which Komaki picked up on immediately. "Unless…" Dojo's eyes snapped back to Komaki when he trailed off, not trusting the mischievous glint in his eye. He didn't know what Komaki was about to imply, but he rushed to forestall his glib comment anyway.

"That's not- it's not whatever you're- there's no-" Dojo spluttered out a few broken words in protest, not knowing yet what he was protesting against until Komaki interrupted his floundering.

"You're afraid you're going to screw up her first time!" Komaki crowed, opening a new can of beer in triumph while Dojo went red in the face and brought his fist down on the table.

"I SAID THAT'S NOT IT!" He bellowed in retaliation, forgetting completely about dorm neighbors and quiet hours, but Komaki was laughing instead of paying him any mind.

"Oh my god! Wait, when was the last time you had a girlfriend? Not since before Kasahara even enlisted, which was over 7 years ago now- wait…" he leaned forward mock-conspiratorially, failing to hold back his laughter. "When was the last time you were with a woman?" Dojo looked so humiliated and affronted, Komaki almost felt bad about laughing in his face.

"I haven't forgotten how to have sex," Dojo snapped, ignoring his question. "And if I were worried about that, I wouldn't have made a move in the first place!" Komaki made a pathetic attempt to rein in his laughter and return to the subject at hand while Dojo waited, arms crossed petulantly.

"Okay, point taken," Komaki ceded, recognizing the danger of hurting Dojo's pride too much. "So maybe you should just ask her, instead of making moves. Just-" Komaki got onto his knees and shuffled around the table to sit directly in front of Dojo, grabbing his hand. "Take her hand, and stare deep into her eyes-" Dojo leaned away from Komaki, looking disgusted. "And say: "I love you. Will you sleep with me?" Dojo yanked his hand away, rolling his eyes as Komaki doubled over with laughter again.

"Ugh, your advice sucks," he grumbled, watching Komaki gasp for air through fits of giggles. In an attempt to disengage from the conversation, he turned to his most recent empty can and turned it upside-down over his mouth to get the last few drops from it, and Komaki returned to the other side of the low table.

"Anyway," Komaki went on as his mirth finally died down, "I don't want to make assumptions about Kasahara's experience-" Dojo raised his eyebrows at him around the beer can- "but maybe it's anxiety over inexperience holding her back, or maybe there's something else there. Maybe her parents never gave her the talk or something." Dojo set his empty can down thoughtfully, realizing this new viewpoint for the first time. "You won't know unless you open the conversation with her about it." The sudden change from Komaki laughing at him to actually giving reasonable consideration to his problem gave Dojo a headache, but he was grateful to finally get a logical perspective out of him. At last, Dojo nodded in agreement.

"Okay. I'll just ask her," he replied, feeling drained now that the matter had been addressed. Komaki grinned supportively.

"Great! Next I'll have a word with Tezuka about Shibasaki-san, and the office can finally be free of all the excess sexual tension!"