Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 3

I look over the stale bedsheets at my prince, my lover, my bother. Only his twisted scowl tells me what I already know- I cannot take this torture any longer. I was an object for all to view, trapped in the birdcage he created. To have, but not to hold. But then she took me and reached inside- tried to pull the remains of what was my heart into a semblance of the beauty she saw. And I betrayed the one person who actually loved me... purely, with no intent to use or abuse me. And I stabbed her in the back with my own two soiled hands. At that moment -a moment too late- I saw clearly what Akio had kept me from seeing. That he was no longer the prince I had loved and tried so valiantly to save- Utena had become the manifestation of all I admired... All that I loved. I do not even care anymore that what I now wish for- no, pray for- is a guilty sin. They all will see our love as a smudge upon the earth. But still a lesser sin than sharing this bed with Akio. But I have lived a life of sin, and I do not see why living in a beautiful dream should be wrong if it is all for love. What is life without love? I have known the answer- Empty and cold and lonely. So I know what I must do.

I slide out of bed, naked and exposed to the morning chill in the air. And I think of Utena with every fiber of my being as I stare at the man who has lost his soul- the beautiful fallen angel who has become entirely corrupt. And the next thing I know, the Sword of Dios- the last shard of the pure prince left in this world- is in my brother's chest, my hands gripped upon the cool leather grip, and Akio opening his eyes in horror. The blade slides home as a sword into its sheath, and blood oozes from beneath the silently screaming man. And I feel no regret. Just freedom. I speak to him in a voice I am sure will haunt him into the depths of Hell, "Akio- you have no power over me anymore. The dream is over. And you are nothing." He forces a breath out in protest, but I slide the blade ever deeper into his flesh. I hope to whatever God may exist that he will feel the pain I lived for him and Utena in turn lived for me. I pull away as the sword grows hot, and a light shines from him. I catch a glimpse of Dios, with a somber grin etched upon his face- and then nothing. Nothing remains of the man I once loved, and the sword dissolves into oblivion. I slowly turn my back on the incestuous bed, and grab my clothing from the floor. I toss them into the eternally smoldering fireplace, and walk to my closet and withdraw Utena's spare uniform. I thank whatever power left this garment to comfort me, and bury my face in the fabric. She smelled sweet and clean... Her scent was as pure as her soul. I slip into her outfit slowly and deliberately, feeling the last of her presence surround me- blissfully enveloping me in all that she was. I walk to the door and grab the keys to my brothers oh so fancy car. I walk through the doorway, never once looking back. Chu chu appears from nowhere, and hops on my shoulder as he always does, but this time my little friend looks at the door and then me with a suspicious glance. I nod, confirming his suspicion. He grins the widest I have seen him grin outside of the presence of food, and we walk out into the bright daylight.

I will find Utena.

xixixixix

I wake up in a cold sweat. I remember the academy... the make-believe school, the duels and the fights for the Rose Bride, and Akio and his abuse of Anshii. I scream in horrific realization of what has happened, and the life I have lived before. I couldn't save her... I weep into my pillow, and Maro comes running into my room. Often I have had terrible nightmares, no, memories of what happened previously: of my parents' death, a tortured princess, of battles won and lost, and of my own apparent death. But now everything fit together in a perfect weaving of epic proportions. And now I cry for all of the people that have touched my life- I feel pain only paralleled only by the Million Swords. And Maro takes me into his strong arms and holds me with all of his paternal strength. I am certain he knows something is terribly wrong, but how could he know what? So, I let him cradle me like a small child as I pray for Anshii and all of the others wrapped up in Akio's pleasant purgatory. But then something touches my soul. An angelic presence. Anshii- is she free? She must have... escaped? I suddenly feel calm. The sandstorm of emotions dissipates as suddenly as it appeared. Maro tilts up my chin and wipes my eyes free of their salty cloaks. He asks me if I am all right, and I respond with all the strength I could muster at this early morning hour. "I remember. Everything."

He looks surprised and concerned, but then I say, "It's is all right, everything will be all right. Anshii- she is free. And everyone else I knew... They have all been saved. My parents are dead, but you have been so good to me- the father I never got to enjoy. If you would like, I will explain my past. Who knows, maybe it will help..." Maro sadly smiles at me, and sates that he will listen if I am ready. An I tell him all I can remember, feeling the weight of years beyond my age lifted from my shoulders as I speak each word into the cool clean air.

When I finish, the sun has risen, and his face is kind, if not confused. I slightly chuckle, and say, "Its all right if you do not believe me- It is true that this sounds like it is from one of my fantastic novels. But this is what my life was..." He quickly stops me from continuing with an interjection of his own, "No, no. Of course I believe you. What a life though, only just fifteen and already there and back again. No wonder..." He hugs me tightly, and grins. "Well, it looks like I should be expecting a visitor. Never know when, but... We will see." I grin back at him. " Well, I am going to make breakfast. Utena, what do you want?" "Instant ramen work for you?" "Certainly, Prince Utena." I slug him softly in the shoulder and he laughs and rises from my bed. I could definitely use some food...

Utenafangirl: Yep... but it will get more interesting...

Blasphemy1: Thanks, I try to double check. (It irritates me too...)

Keiko-chan: Thank you... you're so nice!

Viximon: Ta-da! Anshii for your reading pleasure!

Hope y'all enjoy!