Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass
Feana Griffke
Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter 4
I stare listlessly into the train window, letting my eyes become unfocused as my thoughts wander. The open fields of soggy grain stare back at me, and a glimpse of my purple-haired reflection lingers before me on the glass, prohibiting a pure view into the world beyond this locomotive. I have traveled so far to find her, from the world's end to the far reaches of Japan. More than a year has passed since I departed from the fantasyland that was Ohtori academy, and my tears spilt in secret have never failed to lead me ever further away from her. I have traveled alone in my quest, with few confidantes briefly assisting me from time to time, only to find empty promises and an uncertain trail. I know she is waiting- that is an undeniable truth that my heart knows and the only certainty I hold beyond my feelings for her. Freedom is limited without requisition of love, and the pain and regret and sorrow I carry will not leave me till I am safe in her arms.
I am now following another whim- a medium-sized city in central Japan. It is a suburban city, with a brief downtown of businesses and a few scattered Universities. It is hailed as a fine place to raise children, and the pleasantness of the town would be a good and well-deserved break even if I have no success. The flowers in the district are also supposed to be amazing... perhaps I will return there if my hands remain empty.
The train draws to a halt at the station... the scent of roses is thick in the air, haunting me with its delicate memories. I slowly rise from my seat, place Chu chu on my shoulder, and gather my belongings. I have become grateful that I decided to sell the car and travel light- it has afforded me precious freedom from the memories on my back as well as allowed me to travel with speed and efficiency. My heart begins to accelerate as I step off the train, wondering if this might be the end of my journey. I feel an odd comforting sensation, and my hopes rise. I am probably more excited than I should be- I have often found myself greatly disappointed because of such anticipation- but for some reason I feel justified. Something tells me she may be here, and I deserve to at least enjoy myself if not. So I walk away into the city, never once looking back.
xixixixixix
A loud clash echoed through the open gymnasium. Steel bit steel with a jagged spark. A parry, to a riposte. "Halt. Five right, one left. Bout." The two fencers removed their masks with practiced ease. The loser scowled, the bitter taste of failure stinging his tongue like blood. He looked across at the fencing team captain, the victor, with her dazzling blue eyes, long strands of wild pink hair, and a crowd of enamored admirers rushing to her side. She walked forward to greet him -always with a bright smile- and shook his hand, congratulating his technique and offering her thanks. He just bit his tongue and grinned back with an evil twist of his lip. He hated her for her good looks, her popularity, her self-confidence... everything about her was disgusting. But then again, Tenjou Utena was one to either love or detest beyond all reason.
I look at this new boy with a suspicious eye... He reminds me of Sanjjoi a great deal, and his angry eyes won't stop glaring at me from beneath his twisted grin. I let him get a point on me to keep him settled, but he does not seem satiated. He may cause trouble. Damn. Not what I need now. It's enough with these dogged admirers, keeping my schoolwork afloat, and fencing and basketball tournaments. I do not need another enemy. But it looks to be too late. I sigh and take my sabre over to my bag... which is not a simple task with a couple dozen admirers whipping you around to check you over for bruises and ask how you are and too many other questions. Most of my 'fencing' bruises are simply badges of my popularity rather than marks of fast, stinging blows. I suppose it is my fault- If I were submissive and 'normal' I wouldn't have these problems. But then again, I have never been 'normal', and I do not plan on changing anytime soon. Out of the corner of my eye I spot my friend and co-captain of the fencing team, Tsuki. She grins at me and waves me over to her bench. I make my way through the crowd to her, and we walk to the locker rooms.
Pulling off my lamée, jacket, knickers, and knee socks, I toss them one by one into my bag. Tsuki looks at me with a grin and we begin to talk of our day. A regular day to be sure, except for the new fencing character. I had seen him in the hallways before, but he was always just another nameless set of eyes to me. Now I had to pay careful attention. I sigh as I pull my shirt over my head and walk over to the shower. My co-captain looks at me, and I just shake my head. I don't want to talk of another aggressor. I turn on the shower, and its steamy spray shoots fourth from the old and rusted faucet. I step into my personal waterfall, and let it cleanse me of the day. My thoughts always linger on Anshii during these brief moments of cleansing and respite. I miss her so badly, but I know I must be patient. I imagine her standing beside me in my mind's eye, smiling and purifying my tainted soul. I was always known for my naivety, but I have found wisdom and pain beyond my innocence. Slowly, I wash my hair and body, letting each second pass by leisurely. These showers were of not cost to me -lucky for Maro's water bill- and were worth more to me than any precious metal. And all too soon, I am clean and have to walk away.
I walk up to the school gate with Tsuki, and then we hug and continue on our separate ways. She was truly a good friend to me- she was always there when I needed her. We were the two most athletic girls of our school, and we were rumored to be more than friends by the two-faced social elite. Which was ridiculous, as our separate walks home and respectful distance demonstrated. We had a working relationship, and were the two girls everyone wanted to be. I never bothered saying anything about it though. Let the hungry little girls feed on fantasy. I will not be a whore to their wants and needs. They could find someone more stupid to take advantage of.
The sidewalk before me is cool and wet from an early spring rain. I carefully navigate the concrete path, taking care to step in every available puddle. I an wearing my good old beaten sneakers anyway, and the puddles call to the child in me like a flashy new car to a man or good chocolate to a woman. I hum a favorite tune as I jovially carry on- and then I see a familiar face in the puddle beneath me, just beyond the rubbery rim of my sneaker. I turn around swiftly and emit a small whisper into the wet air- "Oh my God..."
Dun dun dun...
Maybe a surprise, or maybe not...
Nothing is ever how it seems.
I am sorry if the last chapters were confusing with the transition btw characters- apparently FFN didn't like my spacers btw paragraphs. Sorries!
Utenafangirl- Hope this pleases... And I placed a vote for the art. Good stuff.
Viximon - Merci beaucoup. Enjoy!
Cassandra- Why thank you!
Misty- Thanks, I am trying to be true to each character's personality.
Keiko-chan- Thank you for your faithful reading and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Ami- Thank you. I hope to keep everything well made.
Foxgirl- Thanks.
Hanako Yuriko- Ha! Thank you for reading.
Ja ne, y'all.