***UPDATE 6/7: Hello everyone, I've gotten a few questions regarding this story and if I'm continuing writing, and I just want to let you all know that I've thought a lot about it and I am planning on continuing all my stories. There won't be an update for this story today, because I'm working on a oneshot based off the end of season 9, but I am planning on getting back into updating all three of my stories. I talk more about my plans for everything in that oneshot I'm working on, and I'm hoping that will posted here soon, within the next week or so. But until then, thank you all much for being patient with me. I promise to get updates to you all soon.
I hope you all have a great week!
Hey everyone! Sorry the chapter is a day late this week, there were a few scenes I kept rewriting so I needed a little extra time to get this one done. I hope you all still enjoy it though, even with it being a day late. There's a nice chapter full of Casey family moments, which you all always seem to love. So hopefully you like this one, too.
Also, before we get into all of this, I'm sure most of you are aware of what's going on on the show, and what it looks like is about to happen in the finale, so in regards to writing and all of that, I'm just… at a loss right now, honestly. And I really don't know what I'm gonna do going forward. But if the finale tomorrow night goes the way it looks like it's going to, I just don't know if I have it in me to write dawsey anymore. I really don't.
I want to, I don't want to give up on these stories, and I know I talked about in the last update how I was wanting to get back to writing more consistently and getting those other two stories updated for you all, and that's all still true, but I'm just not sure how I'll feel about writing after this finale. After Derek drug us through this season, for what appears to be nothing, just to watch Matt choose Brett, it felt like losing Dawsey all over again. Except this time it feels worse. And maybe that's dramatic, but I don't care, that's what it feels like. I know this isn't entirely out of nowhere, I know Brettsey was the focus all season, but the way Derek continuously used Gabby and Dawsey throughout this whole thing, making it seem like her and their relationship mattered, when the last episode made it pretty clear that it doesn't, it's just… it's worn me down. It really has. This show has kind of broken my spirit, especially when it comes to writing and wanting to write. So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, or what I can do at this point.
Obviously, we'll see how the finale goes and what happens, and regardless of that outcome I am going to try and finish my stories; all of my stories. I don't want to leave them unfinished, especially not after you all have supported my work for as long as you have, so I'm gonna do my best to keep them going. But I can't promise anything right now, I'm sorry.
And I'm sorry for just dumping all of that onto you all, but I didn't want to leave you in the dark with all that, because I don't know how this will all affect my writing going forward. Though if Brettsey does get together, I'm not sure if people will even want to read Dawsey stories anymore, I just don't know. But yeah, that's kind of where I'm at right now. I know I rambled a lot, but if you take anything away from what I just said, know that I'm gonna try to keep writing, but we'll just have to see how it goes.
That's all I've got. Thank you for reading, and for supporting me. I appreciate it so much, more than you all know.
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Eight
"Dada! Dada!" Sofia babbled away as she sat on the floor in the living room with her father while he pushed the toy firetruck back and forth over the carpet. They had been playing with different cars for a while, ever since they got home from dropping Caitlyn off at school maybe half an hour ago, the baby most interested in those this morning as she sat comfortably on his lap, her little arms waving around in the air as her and her father played together. "Tuck!"
Casey smiled softly as she reached out for the toy truck, a proud gleam in his eyes as he was constantly impressed by how much his little girl was learning and understanding. "Yeah baby, that's a firetruck." He replied as he ran his free hand along her back, Sofia grinning up at him before she continued her mission of getting her hands on the firetruck.
"Raaa!" She spoke, Matt's eyebrows furrowing in slight amusement as Sofia continued to speak, in her own words. The father wasn't sure if she was trying to mimic the sound of the truck, or of fire, but either way it was adorable, the breathy sound continuing to come from the baby's lips as she moved the truck back and forth. "Tuck! Raaa!"
Sofia continued talking on and on while she played with the toy, the little girl crawling out of her father's lap and onto the floor so she had more room to move around, Matt staying in his spot leaned up against the front of the chair while he watched her.
"Dada." She said again, the sound of his name causing him to meet the baby's line of sight as she looked up at him as well. "Dada, tuck!"
A bright grin broke out across his face as she said the words again, Sofia pushing the toy towards him while moving it back and forth. "Oh my girl is so smart, isn't she?" He asked brightly, the smile never leaving his face as he glanced back towards the couch where his wife was sitting, Gabby wearing a similarly happy look before he looked back towards Sofia. "That's right Sof, Dada has a firetruck." He agreed, Sofia squealing happily.
"Tuck! Dada!" She repeated the words as she continued to play, the content look staying on Casey's face as he ran his hand along his daughter's back before looking back over at Gabby.
"You hear that? Our baby's a genius." He spoke, Gabby tilting her head to the side as her face softened. "She knows I have a firetruck." Matt added proudly.
"Of course she's a genius, she's my daughter." Gabby played along with a gleam in her eye, Matt scoffing lightly before shaking his head, the father looking back down as he felt Sofia lightly hit the side of his leg with the toy.
"Well Sof, I'm pretty sure Momma just called me stupid." He huffed out, Gabby biting back a laugh as Sofia looked his way, a big, slobbery smile covering her face before she began to giggle. They knew the baby really didn't know what had just been said to her, but she still laughed regardless as the sight of her dad was amusing to her, her reaction causing Gabby's smile to widen while her husband feigned hurt. "Oh, you think that's funny, baby?" He asked lightly as he reached out to gently grab their daughter and pull her back into his lap, the movement causing her to laugh more before he began tickling her sides. "You think Mommy's funny?" He repeated, Sofia's loud, excited shrieks filling their home as Matt played with her.
And it was impossible for Gabby not to smile while he did, the sight of her husband and youngest daughter being so carefree something she'd never get tired of, considering everything they'd gone through as of late. With Matt especially, it flooded her chest with warmth to see him happy and smiling, and having so much fun with their little girl, as she knew things hadn't been that easy for him lately. And the longer she sat here, the more she couldn't help but wonder how she didn't see it sooner, how she couldn't see what was truly going on with him, though she knew it wasn't worth dwelling on as there was nothing she could do to change that now.
It had been a couple days since he confessed to her what he was dealing with, since he finally admitted to just how badly he'd been handling almost losing her, and what all that had done to him. And in that time, things had certainly been hard on the couple. There had been a lot of moments, for Matt especially, where he'd let his guard down and she'd see just how difficult this all was for him, Gabby doing all she could to help and support her husband through this, as she would do anything to take his pain away.
But there was no immediate fix for this, and both of them knew it. What had happened to her was awful, and what Matt had gone through was arguably worse, as at least for Gabby, she didn't remember it. She'd dealt with the pain, and the limitations of her own body, but she didn't remember what had happened to her. She didn't remember the accident, or what happened after the crash. She didn't recall anything until she woke up in the hospital, so didn't have that weighing on her mind.
But Matt did.
He remembered all of it, he was there for all of it. He saw the crash happen, he was there on the scene, and, according to Severide, he'd been there to get her out. He remembered, vividly, the times she'd died in front of him, Matt having to deal with all of those awful things, and there was nothing she could do to make those memories go away. He would never be able to forget any of what happened to her, that's something he had to live with every day, and she knew that's why he'd been struggling with this as much as he had.
And she also knew that's why he was having a hard time trusting that she was okay.
He hadn't come out and said it, aside from when they first talked through everything, but she could see it in the way he acted. How attentive he was, how he was constantly checking in, and how he still didn't really want her out of his sight. How she'd gain his attention at the smallest cough, or moments where she needed a second to catch her breath. Times when she'd be reminded that she still wasn't completely back to normal, his demeanor would change.
It wasn't much, but it was enough of a shift in his usual mood for her to notice. He would worry more than he needed to, and it was in those moments where she was able to see just how badly this had all affected him. Where she could see how worried he still was, more worried than he should've been given how well she'd recovered, and that in turn caused her to worry. Which, admittedly, was the worst part about this for Gabby; not the accident itself, but seeing how much it had affected everyone else.
Her lack of memory was a blessing in some ways, and there were days where she wished Matt and Caitlyn could have that same luxury, but what Gabby struggled with was knowing what her accident did to her family. Even though she couldn't remember what happened, that didn't mean she was spared from knowing what her family went through because of it. It didn't stop her from knowing how much this entire thing had broken Matt, or how it deeply affected Caitlyn, as their daughter already had her struggles with abandonment. And it wasn't lost on her how Sofia had had a rough time with all of this as well; Gabby knew all of it. She knew her family wasn't okay, because of her, and that wasn't an easy thing to stomach.
But she was trying. Her and Matt both, they were trying their hardest to get past this. To work through these feelings in the best way they knew how, and trying to come to terms with not only what had happened to her, but the feelings they had because of it. It was something all of them were working on getting past, even though Matt was certainly having a harder time than she was with what happened. But Gabby could only hope now that they were being open with each other and not holding things back, it would start to get easier. That with Matt now being honest with her instead of trying to carry this all on his own, she'd be able to support him through this, and they could slowly move on from the thing that completely dismantled their lives.
The sound of Gabby's cell phone ringing broke through her deep thoughts, her eyes snapping into focus as she began to register Sofia's laughter once more. As the baby was preoccupied with her father, Gabby leaned forward to grab her phone off the table, her eyebrows raising slightly when she saw who was Facetiming her.
"Who is it?" Matt asked as he took a break from playing with Sofia, the little girl beginning to smack her hands against his chest while she bounced up and down. Clearly, the game the father and daughter were playing had gotten Sofia all riled up, and she didn't like the fact that he had stopped. "...Gabby?" He asked as she had yet to respond, Gabby's eyes snapping towards him before her face softened.
"Oh, uh, it's Kelly." She responded, a curious look covering Casey's face as she stood up off the couch and took a few steps around the table. "I'll be right back." She told him, his eyebrows raising slightly as he wasn't sure why she'd need to leave the room just to talk to Severide, but he left it alone as she headed towards their bedroom, leaving Matt to continue playing with Sofia.
When Gabby was inside their room, she carefully closed the door before answering the call, the woman moving towards the bed just as Severide's face popped up on screen, his surroundings alone telling her that he was in his office at the firehouse.
"Hey Dawson." He spoke with a soft smile, Gabby matching his look before responding.
"Hey Kelly, how are you? How's shift going?" She questioned back, the firefighter shrugging softly before he nodded.
"It's alright, it's still early… Not much has happened yet. What about you, how are things around there?" He asked vaguely, his words holding a bit more weight than hers had as Gabby drew in a deep breath.
"We're, um… Things are alright." She answered softly, her eyes flashing over towards the closed bedroom door before she glanced back to her screen. "Caity's at school right now, Matt's playing with Sof… He's got the firetruck's out, so they'll probably be occupied for a while." She added lightly, Kelly chuckling in response.
"Yeah, I'm sure they will be." He replied, the man going quiet for a second to see if she was going to say anymore. But after another moment it was clear she wasn't going to, Severide drawing in a deep breath before he continued. "Well, I don't want to keep you too long, but I just want to tell you that you guys are fine for this weekend." He told her, Gabby's ears perking up before a small smile formed over her lips.
"Yeah?"
"Mhmm… I talked to Stella, and we don't have any plans for anything up there, so you all are good to go. You can stay as long as you like." He added on, Gabby's thankful smile widening before she nodded.
"Thank you Kelly." She responded, the man immediately giving her a small smile. "Really, thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."
"It's nothing Dawson." He waved her off. "I'm not even doing anything, just let me know when you want me to come by and drop off the key."
"Would tomorrow after shift work? If you don't mind?" She questioned, Severide shaking his head in response. "I was thinking about heading up there tomorrow after Caity gets out of school… give us the weekend to just spend time together, away from everything."
"I can do that." He answered without hesitation, his words earning a small nod from his friend. "I'll have to swing by the apartment, but then I can head over there… I think that'll be good though, getting away for a few days. I'm sure you and Casey both could use it."
"Yeah, I think it'll be good for us… For all of us." Gabby agreed, her tone telling him enough of how hard this had been as his chest tightened for a split second, Severide hating to see what was happening to people he thought of as family.
"I think so, too." He repeated, Gabby giving him a weak smile before he spoke up again. "But, uh… how's he doing, Dawson?" Severide finally asked the question she knew he'd been holding onto since the beginning of this conversation, Gabby pursing her lips together as she thought over how best to answer him.
"...He's hanging in there." She finally settled on, Kelly pausing for a moment before he nodded, the Lieutenant willing to take whatever information he could get on how his best friend was doing. Since Casey left shift, or was forced to leave, Kelly had tried to keep his distance. Aside from one or two conversations with Gabby, and letting her know to call him if they needed anything, he pretty much left them alone, as years and years of experience had told him that was the best thing he could do in this situation. But now that he had a moment with Gabby, he wanted to know. "It's been hard, but we'll be okay." She added softly, her vague words only giving him so much. But he nodded regardless, the small smile never leaving his face.
"Yeah, I know you will. You'll be alright… All of you." He encouraged her, his statement holding a little more meaning than just being about Casey, Gabby giving him a small, appreciative smile before she nodded. "I'll let you get back to the family, I just wanted you to know everything was all set."
"Thanks Kelly." She murmured, the man smiling softly before she saw him glance to the side for a moment, both of them knowing their conversation was nearing the end. But there was one thing she wanted to tell him before he went, Gabby clearing her throat before she spoke up once again. "And uh… thank you." She repeated her words, Severide's eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion.
"You just said that."
"No, I meant… With Matt." She breathed out, a look of realization soon covering his face before his features softened. "For looking out for him last shift, and talking to Boden about that call… You probably saved his life, Kelly. Or at least saved him from being seriously hurt, and I-" She stopped herself, her words getting a little harder for her to voice as her eyes fell closed, Gabby needing to take a steadying breath as her head shook head to head slightly.
"I know." Severide finished for her as he replied to what she couldn't say, Gabby opening her eyes to find him still watching her intently. "I know, Dawson. I'm just glad he's okay."
"Me too." She murmured, Kelly nodding before the two gave each other a few quick goodbyes, Severide promising he'd be by in the morning before they hung up the call.
Releasing a heavy breath, Gabby tossed her phone down onto the bed, giving herself a few moments before heading back out there, as talking about everything going on with Matt wasn't always the easiest. Even though she and Severide really didn't get into anything, just thinking about it was difficult for her, but the last thing she wanted to do was take all of that back out there with Matt and Sofia. So she let herself regroup for a second, Gabby's hands resting on her knees as she took a few more deep breaths, the sound of Sofia's laughter coming from out in the living room bringing a small smile to her face.
She wasn't entirely sure what all was going on out there, but she figured the little girl was still having a great time with her father, if her loud giggles were any indication. And Dawson was sure the feeling with her husband was mutual, as there wasn't anything in this world Matt loved more than spending time with their girls.
And after listening to the two of them playing together for a couple more seconds, Gabby decided it was time to head back out there herself as she got up from the bed, her body moving towards the exit before pulling the door open and heading back out into the main part of their home. Matt and Sofia were exactly where she left them, although now Casey had their little girl up in the air, his arms extended as he held her above his head before bringing her back down, the movement causing her to laugh continuously. It seemed to be a fun little game they were playing, one she didn't want to interrupt as she slowly headed their way. But the second Matt saw her, he stopped, the father placing Sofia down in his lap before glancing her way.
"There you are." He spoke softly as Sofia grabbed at his shirt, Gabby offering him a small smile as she got to him, before she sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "I was wondering if you were ever gonna come back, Sof and I missed you." He commented, his words causing her grin to widen as Sofia climbed down from his lap and ran over to her pile of toys, the little girl no longer as amused by her father as he had stopped lifting her up into the air.
"Yeah, well I know how much you like one on one time with the girls." She answered back, her light response earning a chuckle from him before he nodded.
"Fair enough… Although I like time with all my girls more." He replied without a thought, as he watched her duck her head slightly before looking back his way.
"Smooth." She murmured under her breath, Casey unable to fight off his smile before his eyes traced over her once more, Gabby's gaze now moving to Sofia as a heavy silence filled the air between them. One that was only disturbed by the cartoons playing in the background, until Matt spoke up once more.
"...What did Severide want?" He finally questioned, Gabby's eyes snapping away from Sofia as she'd barely registered his voice.
"Hmm?"
"Kelly." He repeated softly, a knowing look soon covering her face as he head cocked to the side. "I wasn't sure what the super, secretive phone call was for." He added with a somewhat pointed grin, Gabby's own smile widening as she placed her phone down on the table beside her.
"Are you sad he called me instead of you?" She teased back, Matt answering her words with a playful glare of his own before shaking his head.
"You're so funny." He responded dryly, Gabby biting back a laugh before she angled her body towards him slightly. "But really, is everything okay?" He questioned, her eyebrows raising slightly. "Just, you going in the other room, I wasn't sure if something was wrong."
"Nothing's wrong, babe." She answered, her simple tone earning a nod from him as he waited for her to elaborate. "I had just been talking to Severide about something, and I wasn't sure if we'd be able to so I wanted to see what he said first before bringing it up to you." She added on, her words doing no more to help him understand.
"Well now I'm even more intrigued." He said with a soft look in his eyes, Gabby giving him a nod before she crossed her legs in front of her. "What have you and Severide been planning?"
"It's not a big surprise or anything, but I reached out to Kelly because I was thinking that a trip to the cabin might be good for us." She told him, Gabby able to see instantly that he hadn't been expecting those words to come out of her mouth. But, from what she could tell, he didn't seem to hate the idea. "I just thought that with everything going on, and us… trying to get past all this, that maybe getting out of the city for the weekend might do us some good. It would just be us and the girls, and I know it's still a little too cold to go into the water, but I still think we'd all have a nice time." She explained, the small smile forming across his face giving him away. "I dunno, I figured a change of scenery might help. And give us time to not really worry about anything but us and the girls, but that's only if you feel up for it."
"I'd love to go." He answered, his quick response causing her eyes to light up.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I would." He repeated himself just as Sofia waddled her way back over to him, the baby carrying one of her favorite dolls while she climbed back onto his lap, Matt immediately wrapping an arm around her so she wouldn't fall. "It sounds nice actually, getting away for a bit… I mean, I know it's not that far, but like you said, a change of scenery would be good." He responded, Gabby smiling softly before she nodded. "And I think it would be good to get some time with just the four of us." He added on, Matt drawing in a deep breath. "I know everyone's given us our space, since…" He trailed off, grimacing slightly as he shook his head. "Everyone's been great, helping us out, but I think it would be nice to get away with just us." He rephrased, Gabby nodding once more as she watched Sofia move around on his lap.
"I know what you mean, and I think so, too." She replied gently, the two sharing soft smiles before Matt refocused his gaze on Sofia. And when he did, her bright blue eyes shined up at him as that familiar drool-covered grin widening across her face, the baby blissfully unaware of what had been going on with her parents lately. And that was something Matt was incredibly grateful for, that Sofia was too young to really know what all was happening with him, and how he and the rest of the family was struggling. She was able to pick up on when something was wrong, and she'd get upset when her family was, but as far as truly knowing what was going on, she had no idea.
Though unfortunately, while with Sof he was able to shield her from it, the same couldn't be said for Caitlyn.
Matt saw firsthand what this had done to his oldest daughter. He knew how terrified she was of what had happened to her mom, and that those feelings hadn't gone away. Then after hearing from Gabby about the conversation the two of them had while he was at work, it was even more apparent that Caity still struggled with this entire thing; she held those same worries and fears that Casey did. That something was going to happen to Gabby.
And it absolutely broke his heart. It destroyed him, knowing that his daughter was feeling the same pain he was. That Caitlyn and Gabby both were having a hard time getting through this, as Matt wasn't able to protect his wife and his daughter from what he was feeling, even though he'd do anything to change that. He would take on all the pain and hurt in the world if it meant they didn't have to feel this way. But that wasn't how life worked, they couldn't just pretend this wasn't affecting them, like they had gotten past what happened because of this accident, because they hadn't. And, if these past few weeks had told him anything, it was that it was going to take a bit more time before they would.
"...Matt?"
Casey's eyes snapped into focus when he heard his wife's voice, the man having zoned out more than he realized as he looked away from his daughter up towards Gabby, finding an unsure look waiting for him. "Sorry, what?"
"I said I think it would be fun for the girls." She repeated the words he'd missed, a small smile gracing his lips before he nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, it definitely will be." He answered her softly, Gabby pausing for a moment before giving him a skeptical nod, her eyes quickly running over his face.
"...Are you feeling okay?" She questioned after a split second, Matt's lips pursing together as they locked eyes on one another. "I mean, all things considered, I guess?" She rephrased, as he had yet to give her an answer. "You just seemed a bit… far away, there for a minute."
"I'm okay." He told her, the honesty in his voice evident as he ran his hand along Sofia's back. "I was just thinking, about the girls… and everything that's happened." He breathed out as a look of complete compassion and understanding fell over her features. "And how I just wish all this was easier, but I'm doing alright."
She kept her eyes on him for a split second longer, Matt backing up his words with as reassuring of a nod as he could muster, while Sofia leaned forward to nuzzle her head against his chest, no doubt covering his shirt with her drool. But he didn't care one bit, Casey continuing to rub over her back while his daughter got comfortable in his lap, as Gabby's eyes never left him.
"I promise." He added, Gabby smiling softly after a moment before she nodded. "But I am really looking forward to this now, going up to the cabin."
"Me too." She replied before she leaned forward towards him, reaching out to rub her hand along his cheek before she pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "And I love you, you know." She reminded him as her lips pressed down against his head once more, Matt's own smile widening as he relished in her warmth. "You know I'm here if you need to talk about anything."
"I know you are." He breathed out, Gabby giving him one last kiss before she sat up straight, the two locking gazes yet again as she placed her hand down on the coffee table to steady herself, Matt offering her another smile before he spoke up. "I love you, too."
"Daddy, are we almost there?" Caitlyn asked from the backseat as she swung her legs back and forth, her wandering eyes focused on the unfamiliar scenery outside her window while Sofia was secured in her car seat beside her. "My legs feel funny." She added as she looked up front towards her parents, Gabby glancing back towards her daughter with a soft smile on her face.
"They're just asleep baby, but we'll be there in a few minutes." Gabby answered her, Caitlyn nodding in response before she returned her gaze out the window, the mother continuing to look at her for a few seconds before she faced forward as well, the car returning to it's surprisingly quiet state while Matt continued to drive towards their destination.
It was a somewhat chilly Friday afternoon just outside of Chicago, but the weather outside hadn't deterred their excitement for this trip as every single member of the Casey family was looking forward to this little mini-getaway, even if Sofia had no idea what was going on. But Matt, Gabby, and Caitlyn were all happy for this trip, so much so that the five year old was all but bouncing off the walls when they'd gone to pick her up from school, Caitlyn telling all her teachers and classmates about where she was going. And while it had been an endearing sight, it was one that prolonged them getting out of the city as it was hard to pull Caity away from her friends.
But soon enough they'd gotten the girls loaded into the car and ready to go, Matt driving his girls out of the city and to the cabin where they hoped they could have a few nice, easy days with just the four of them. With nothing to worry about except one another, as the parents were desperately looking forward to this trip.
"How long are we in the trees?" Caity spoke up once more after a moment, her eagerness making it hard for her to stay quiet as she took in as much of her surroundings as possible.
"What baby?" Matt asked from the front seat, Gabby looking his way as he kept his eyes focused on the road.
"Are we sleeping in the trees?" She questioned once more, Casey's eyebrows furrowing slightly as he wasn't entirely sure what she meant, but he did his best to answer her anyway.
"Well, we're staying in a cabin, honey. Remember? Mommy and I showed you some pictures of it last night." He reminded her, Caitlyn humming in response. "But there will be lots of trees around us."
"Okay." She answered simply before the back seat went quiet once more, aside from Sofia's typical babbling. And with the silence, it gave Gabby a moment to watch her husband, her eyes looking over his tired features as he carefully drove down the two-lane road. But his exhaustion wasn't anything she was surprised to see, as last night had been sort of a rough one for her husband.
It wasn't anything too bad, but it was definitely the worst he'd felt since he first confessed what all was going on, Matt having spent almost the entire evening feeling anxious and worried. She wasn't entirely sure where it came from, aside from the fact that they had spoken a little bit more about work later that day, but for whatever reason Matt just hadn't had a good night; meaning it had been a long evening for them both.
They had done their best to keep the girls out of it, Matt putting on a brave face for them as he didn't want Caitlyn to worry. But once they'd gotten cleaned up and put to bed, it was like it all hit him at once, Matt struggling a little more than he had been the past few days, as Gabby's focus had shifted from taking care of their daughters to taking care of him.
But the problem was, she knew there was only so much she could do to help him. She was there for him, Gabby spending most of the night holding onto him as her presence seemed to be the thing that comforted him the most, but other than giving him that assurance that she was fine, she didn't know what else to do.
And it made her wonder if he needed help… More help than she could give him.
"Alright Caity, look baby, we're here." Matt spoke, his voice breaking her from her thoughts as he pulled up into the gravel driveway, Gabby glancing around to see they had in fact arrived at their destination.
"Wow!" Caitlyn said in wonder as she looked at the home she'd never seen before, her eyes wide with excitement. "It's so pretty."
A soft chuckle left Matt's lips as he put Gabby's car in park, both parents unbuckling their seatbelts before he turned the car off and pulled the keys from the ignition. "You ready to go see inside?"
"Yeah!" Caity replied happily, Matt and Gabby both sharing a smile before they got out of the car and began to help with the girls. With Casey still a little wary of Gabby's limitations, he quickly took to getting Sofia out of the car, while Gabby helped with Caitlyn as she was able to do most of the work herself. And soon enough they were all out of the vehicle, looking up at the cabin, Matt locking up the car before pocketing the keys.
"Do you wanna get the bags now?" Gabby asked, Matt shaking his head as he adjusted Sofia on his hip, Caitlyn standing in between them with her hand firmly gripping Gabby's.
"I can come out and get our stuff later, let's just show the girls around first." He replied, Gabby nodding in agreement before they made their way up the steps towards the door, Matt putting Sofia down once they were on solid ground before sliding the key into the lock and pushing the front door open.
And before he could even make a move, both girls hurried inside as they couldn't contain their excitement any longer; Caitlyn because she was excited to explore this place she'd never been, and Sofia because she was just happy to be here.
"Alright well, at least they like it." He huffed out, Gabby biting back a laugh before she nodded, the wife rubbing her hand along his back as he walked past her into the home, Dawson soon following after him as she was looking forward to showing the girls around the cabin they'd be staying at for a few days.
"I'm all ready!" Caitlyn shouted as she came running out of the bedroom now changed into her bathing suit, her father following behind her in his own suit as Gabby looked up at them. A soft smile formed over her face as Caitlyn hurried around the couch, her eager grin evident as she was nearly bouncing up and down. "I'm ready to go to the hot tub." She repeated as she looked down at her bathing suit, the purple material covered in a bunch of different flowers that Caitlyn absolutely loved. "Isn't it pretty?"
"It's so pretty, baby." Gabby replied, as she saw Sofia begin to wiggle herself down off the couch, clearly not content to just sit with her mom any longer. But before she could get very far, Matt scooped her up into his arms, the movement causing the baby to laugh as both Gabby and Caitlyn watched them. "I was about to go get her changed." She commented as Matt settled her on his hip, the father shaking his head slightly before taking a step back.
"That's alright, I can do it… We'll be back in a few minutes." He told her, Gabby nodding in response before he headed back towards the bedroom, while Caitlyn stayed with her mom, even though she was nearly bouncing off the walls wanting to get outside.
It was something Caitlyn had been looking forward to ever since she found out what a hot tub was, but from the moment they got here and she saw the deck outside, she wanted to go play around in the water. And since they weren't able to go out into the lake, they figured the hot tub would be a good way for the girls to get some energy out, as it was big enough for them to move around comfortably, while warm enough to where they wouldn't risk getting sick. So after they'd gotten something to eat, taken a quick trip to the store, and spent a little bit of time together playing in the living room, they decided to let the girls go play in the water for a bit.
"Are you gonna get in, Mommy?" Caitlyn asked as she came to rest her hands over Gabby's knees, the five year old taking in the sight of her mom's attire. Which, as Gabby glanced down at herself, she knew it wasn't typically what you'd wear in a hot tub as she was dressed in a pair of shorts and one of Matt's sweatshirts, the clothes something she changed into pretty shortly after they got settled a few hours ago.
"I don't think so, honey." She replied, earning an immediate frown from the child. "But I'll be out there with you all while you have fun." She countered, as Gabby had a pretty good idea that that's what Caitlyn wanted to begin with. That she didn't care so much if they were all doing the same thing, just that they were all together, which is exactly what this trip was about.
"Okay." She responded simply, her bright smile infectious as Gabby reached out to run her hand along her bare arm.
"Alright, one diaper change and swimsuit change later, we are good to go." Matt spoke loudly as he walked out of the bedroom, the father holding Sofia up against his chest with one arm as his other hand was holding the bag containing the girls' sunscreen and everything else they'd need outside. "You ready, Caity?"
"Yeah!" She replied, the five year old hurrying over towards her dad as he headed to the back door, Gabby following in their path.
It took them a few minutes to finish getting the girls ready, as the parents were careful to lather both babies in plenty of sunscreen, as well as get Sofia in her floaties so she could roam freely in the water. Though both Matt and Gabby would be right here and the hot tub wasn't terribly big, they still didn't want her without the floats on her arms, as the entire middle section of the hot tub was far too deep for Sofia to reach without going underwater. So for her own safety, they made sure she had them on.
While Gabby was reapplying just a little bit more sunscreen to the girls' faces, Matt took a look at the hot tub, the father turning the heat down about as low as it could go so it wouldn't be too hot for the kids, while also doing enough to keep them warm. And soon enough, after a few impatient comments from Caitlyn, it was ready to go, both kids eager to get in the water.
"Alright come here, Caity." Matt spoke as he put his hand in the water once more to check the temperature, before he picked up his daughter. "This feel okay?" He asked her, Matt keeping a tight grip on her as she leaned down to feel the water, the little girl nodding immediately before a soft giggle escaped her lips.
"The bubbles feel funny." She said lightly, Matt shaking his head in amusement before he carefully placed the girl into the hot tub, her feet resting on one of the seats as he waited to make sure she was steady before he turned to his youngest. While Sof was excited to get into the water, she was also just as easily content with her mom as she was currently leaned up against Gabby's legs, the baby babbling away before her dad picked her up.
"Come on, Sof." He spoke, her laughs filling the air around them as he helped Sofia into the hot tub as well, the child immediately beginning to splash the water once she could reach it. And that alone had to have been the most amusing thing in the world to her, her giggles only getting brighter as her tiny little hands kept moving around.
"Yeah, I think they're having a good time." Gabby said, Matt catching her gaze as he nodded in agreement, before he got in as well.
He was careful not to move the water too much, as Caitlyn was currently trying to float in the middle of the hot tub, but soon enough he was able to comfortably sit in the corner, Sofia immediately walking across the seats to get to him. Her steps were a little unsteady, the child not used to walking against the movement of water, but with Matt's help she was able to get to him. And once she did, she immediately set herself down in his lap, a soft chuckle escaping Casey's lips at the determination in her movements as now that she was seated on him, she was high enough above the water to sit comfortably.
"You sure you don't want to come in, babe?" Matt asked as he watched Gabby put a few of their toys they typically used for baths in the water, his wife glancing his way before placing the bag back on the ground.
"Yeah Mommy, it's fun." Caitlyn encouraged, the little girl having the time of her life despite the fact they weren't even really doing anything.
"Yeah Momma, it's fun." Matt repeated lightly, Gabby cocking her head to the side before her tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth.
"You can come in, and we can all be together." Caity continued, her words enough to tug on Gabby's heart before she looked towards her husband once more.
"How can you say no to that, babe?" He asked, though his words were completely rhetorical as they both knew she couldn't, Gabby drawing in a deep breath before she smiled at her daughter.
"Alright, let me go get changed then I'll get in." She replied, the smile on Caitlyn's face widening as she held onto the edge of the hot tub, the girl already looking like she'd been swimming around for hours despite being in her for all of a few minutes.
"Yay!" She spoke happily, Gabby leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head before she headed back towards the door.
"Mama!" Sofia called out just after she disappeared inside the home.
"Momma will be back Sof, it's okay." He assured her before quickly reaching for one of the toys floating around them to distract her. Which, admittedly, worked, as Sofia's attention was soon on something else long enough to forget Gabby had left her line of sight.
And soon enough she had reappeared, Gabby walking back through the door maybe five minutes later, still covered by his sweatshirt just as she had been before. Though he could only imagine she was wearing her bathing suit underneath it this time, Gabby soon shedding the material to prove him correct.
"Mommy's gonna swim!" Caitlyn spoke happily, while Sofia began to bounce excitedly once she noticed her mom had come back "So we'll all be together."
"Yeah, we will be sweetheart." Gabby told her softly, before she walked around the steps to get up into the hot tub. Matt holding his hand out to help her keep her balance. And as she got in, Gabby's body moving slowly, it was impossible for his eyes to not focus on the scar on her chest peeking out beneath her swimsuit, the one that always seemed to jarr him a bit every time he saw it.
It had healed well, all the new scars on her body had, but it was just another constant reminder to him, and to her, of what had happened. One that was impossible to forget, as it wasn't like he was able to not look at his wife. He didn't want to not look at her, of course he didn't, but the feelings that scar evoked from him were hard, especially now, as he couldn't help but picture her lying there in that hospital bed each and every time he saw it.
But all he could do now was hope that feeling would start to go away. That, as things slowly got easier for him, that would too, as all he wanted was to look at his wife and see just that; his wife. Instead of seeing the ways he almost lost her.
"You can let go of my hand now, babe." Gabby spoke up, her voice gaining his attention as he soon realized not only was she now in the hot tub, but she was seated next to him, clearly not in any position that needed his assistance as a sheepish look covered his face.
"Sorry." He replied, Matt giving her hand one last squeeze before he let go, his arm moving up to rest over her back just as Sofia started moving towards her mom. But she was not exactly graceful as the combination of the water and the floaties on her arms made it a little more difficult for her to move, Sof all but launching herself into her mom. "Easy Sof, easy." Matt spoke with a grimace as he didn't want her to unintentionally hurt Gabby.
But from what he could tell, she was fine, Sofia standing on Gabby's legs as she faced her mom with a happy smile on her face. "Hi baby." She spoke before Sofia placed her hands over her mom's cheeks, all the movement from the baby getting Gabby a lot more wet than she'd been before.
"Daddy, will you play with the boats with me?" Caitlyn asked after a moment, the five year old wanting some attention for herself as well, as Matt immediately nodded.
"Of course honey." He answered her, Casey carefully removing himself from Gabby's side before moving over towards his oldest, the father keeping her occupied while Dawson focused on Sofia.
And that continued on for the next hour or so, Caitlyn and Sofia switching between parents as they all played together in the hot tub, the girls having more fun than the parents ever expected doing something as simple as this. But, when it came down to it, they knew it had more to do with the fact that they were all together than it did with anything else, the girls more than content just to spend this time with both of their parents.
Which is exactly why Gabby wanted to do this in the first place.
Casey collapsed down onto the couch beside his wife as a heavy breath escaped his lips, Gabby turning to look towards her freshly-showered husband while their girls played together on the floor in front of them. It had been a long day, between the drive and trying to keep up with the girls and their energy, but things were finally starting to calm down for the night, and Matt and Gabby both were grateful.
After they'd spent a better part of the afternoon and evening alternating between playing out in the hot tub and running around outside, they'd finally managed to drag the girls inside when it was time for dinner, Matt taking care of getting the girls' bathed and ready for bed while Gabby figured out what they were going to eat. And considering she really didn't have the energy for much, and she wasn't all that hungry herself, she opted to make the premade pizza they'd gotten from the store, along with some veggies. It wasn't the most nutritious meal, but it would be good enough for tonight. And it had certainly been a hit with Matt and the girls, as between the four of them they'd managed to finish the large pizza and most of the broccoli she'd made, their dinner having gone smoothly before they let the girls play a little before bed.
And now here they all sat, the parents next to each other on the couch as the girls were getting their last bit of energy out for the night, Gabby leaning down into his side as he wrapped his arm around her, the TV softly playing in background as they watched one of the girls' favorite movies.
Letting her eyes fall closed, Gabby gave herself a few seconds to decompress, the feeling of Matt's chest rising and falling beneath her giving her a strong sense of comfort. One she wanted to hold onto as moments like this were her favorite thing in the world. Moments where it was just them, and their girls, and they had nothing and no one else to worry about. Moments where they could just focus on being a family, and the time they got to spend together. To Gabby, there was nothing better, and after the ups and downs they'd gone through recently, it was exactly what she needed.
"Today was a good day." Matt murmured, a soft smile covering her face as it was like he always had this ability to know what was going on in her head, Gabby leaning more into him as she wrapped her arm around his waist.
"Yeah, it was." She responded just as quietly, Casey matching her smile as his hand ran lazily up and down her arm.
"Hopefully we'll have some more days like that." He continued on, Gabby drawing in a deep breath before she slowly opened her eyes, her gaze immediately finding her girls on the floor in front of them, her hand rubbing gently along his stomach.
"We will." She assured him, Matt's own grin growing before he nodded. "We'll have a lot more days like this… Maybe not all at once, but things will get better." She reminded him, understanding how badly he needed to hear it. "And, you know, with Caity's birthday coming up here soon, we'll definitely at least have one great day." Gabby added, her teasing words causing him to chuckle softly before gently squeezing her arm.
"Oh, that will definitely be a great day… I'm so excited for our first birthday with her." He replied, keeping his voice quiet so as to not gain the attention of the soon-to-be six year old. "She's growing up so fast."
"She really is… they both are. But that day is gonna be so special."
"Yeah, it will be." Casey agreed happily, as this had been something he'd been looking forward to for months. And even with the accident and all of that happening, those feelings hadn't changed, as Matt was eager to give her the best birthday she could possibly have. Especially considering how her last one had been spent being bounced around the system.
But as that thought crossed his mind, it was soon followed by another one, Casey's smile widening before he spared a glance down towards his wife.
"Though, you know that isn't the only day we have to look forward to." He continued on, Gabby lifting her head up off of his chest to find a goofy grin waiting for her; one she hadn't seen in awhile. And, admittedly, it was a nice sight to see. "There's something very important coming here soon, something that could be happening any day now."
The second those words left his lips, realization swept through her, her smile instantly matching his before her bright brown eyes lit up. Gabby hadn't forgotten about it, there was no way she could've with something like this, but with the accident and everything, time still sometimes got away from her. But right now, she knew exactly what her husband was talking about, as they were nearing something incredibly life changing, for all of them. "Oh, is there?" She played along, Matt clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth before he nodded.
"Mhmm… There is. We should be hearing from Tina any day now." He breathed out with a complete sense of contentment, Gabby nodding as her smile grew even wider. "We're getting close to the end of those six months, and after that…"
"We'll be able to officially adopt Caitlyn." Gabby finished for him, her voice soft despite the immense weight of her words. Weight that meant some much to the both of them, as this is what they wanted more than anything.
"I can't believe we're almost there already." Matt spoke quietly, Gabby nodding in agreement before she returned her head to its comfortable position against his chest. "It doesn't feel like it's been that long, but it also feels like she's been with us forever."
"I know what you mean." She replied, wrapping her arm around his torso. "It does feel that way, even if it hasn't been all that long… But no matter how long she's been with us now, what I do know is that she'll be with us forever." Gabby told him, her words bringing the smile back to his face before he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Because she's our daughter… She's a Casey."
Hearing those words come from his wife's lips gave him a feeling he couldn't explain, immediate warmth rushing through him as he was overcome with an intense feeling of pride, knowing that here soon they'd legally be Caitlyn's guardian and she'd officially share his name. They would all share his name.
And he couldn't even begin to express how happy that made him, Matt pressing another kiss to the top of her head as his eyes focused on his daughters, the man feeling more content in this moment than he had in a long time. And that had everything to do with his family, Matt speaking up once more after a few long seconds.
"Yeah… She's a Casey."