Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 5

I stare into familiar eyes, chilled to the bone. This is not what I expected. I hear my satchel fall from my open hand, and the other person's lips form a small grin. He bends forward to pluck my books off the wet ground, and offers them to me. I cautiously extend my hand to this red haired dog with a cruel smile. 'Touga... You..." He presses the fingers on his other hand to my lips. I can smell styling gel on them, and cannot help but grin. He hasn't changed at all... or has he... "Utena, looks like I am the first to catch you. It's not wise to walk alone, haven't you heard? You could get hurt... Take this as a gentle lesson." He bends down to kiss me, to try to capture my innocence like when he stole my first kiss... And I step back and bring a cold slap onto his cheek. He brings his hand up to cup the offended skin, and once again smiles. I cannot believe his presumptuousness. I snatch my books from him and assume an offensive stance. His eyes dim, and he speaks now in a near-whisper, "Utena... Everything is different since you left... You saved us. You opened our eyes. And, Utena, she is free and seeking you. The last time I saw her, she was driving off, away from campus, and her eyes were happy. I have never seen her so... Free. But before she left, she spoke to me. She told me to leave, and to find love. As she was going to. She loves you so much, Utena. You are so lucky..." I relaxed as I saw the softness in his eyes... Were those tears on his face? Then I thought of his words. It was one thing to know something on instinct, in your gut... But to receive verification of such a thing is... I feel wetness on my own two cheeks. So I was right... I saved them... Touga looks up at me and feigns another grin. I copy him, and speak. "Would you like to come to my place for dinner? We could catch up..." He nods his head and says, "Thought you would never ask! Then again, how could you resist me?" I shoot him a speculative glare, and he raises his hands in submission. "Okay, okay. I won't try anything. Promise."

And we walk to my home in contemplative silence.

xixixixixix

I walk through the downtown streets, the rain pelting on my umbrella like a flood of tears. The empty street stares back at me, and the windows around me sport multicolored advertisings for the products they promise to hold within. I love to walk at times like this, when the rain is washing away the busy energy of the city and everyone has gone home to what they love- gone home to their reason for living. I stop beside an empty florist shop, marveling at their roses. Everyone in this city has something that is keeping them here- some passion, some cause. Be it a lover, a house, a job, or money, everyone has their own personal faith they cling to for survival. I suppose that is why I wander. I am searching for my religion. I find myself staring into a bouquet of delicate pink roses. She wore them into battle, a badge of honor and love. My own version of the lady kerchiefs valiant knights wore on their arm to signify their love for their own princesses. The rose is the symbol of my faith, like the cross or David's star. I turn away from the window, drawing in a sharp breath. Such thoughts always cause a shooting pain to lance through my heart and halt my regular pattern of breathing. I suppose that is a sign of my devotion... My devotion to her. I now understand why Utena had such drive to become the prince she loved and admired... It was her reason to live.

I look around and spot a small gate leading, I suppose, to the rear of the shop. I reach down with my slender hand and open the latch. Something clicks- not only in the gate, but also in my mind. I step through cautiously, hyper-vigilant as I have ever been. The bricks surrounding me seemed to scream at me- whether in pain or pleasure I could not tell. I walk another step forward, trembling in anticipation of.... what? I force a ragged breath through my quivering lips, and find myself at the end of the alley. Something pulls at me, pleading me to turn back, but my curiosity is too strong. I walk into the grassy yard stretched behind the shop, and the rain suddenly comes down in a torrent. I force my lead-heavy legs to move up the hill before me, and spot sickening red on the ground atop the mound. I fall and must crawl the last few meters, feeling gravity intensify and my head pound with effort. What wants to keep me away? Why? I must know... There must be a reason. So I crawl to the top, where blood and rain churn together with mud betwixt the blades of grass. And there is a rose and a feather waiting there, calling me against the will that has brought me to my knees. I reach forward, my hand scraping against the empty air, adding its blood to the pool, and grab the symbols off of the edifice. A letter appears in my hand with them and I pull back as the bloody pool bursts into flame. I fall back, unable to breathe, and then force myself to run. And I ran as never before...

Chu chu pinches my cheek, worried. I shoot up, expelling my breath into the dark hotel room. Chu chu flies through the air and lands on his face. He gets up, ruffled and somewhat angered, and shoots me a look of disapproval. I go over to him and lift him off of the ground and stroke his small head, whispering my apologies. He nuzzles into my hand, seemingly accepting my words. I look down at him in my hands, and gasp at the dark marks crisscrossing my skin. But it was a dream... Wasn't it? I turn around and glance at my bedside table, and sure enough, a rose, a feather, and a bloodstained letter await my attention. I run to the table, almost dropping Chu chu from my trembling fingers. I turn on the beside lamp- and notice that my sheets are sweaty as I sit down onto the bed. The letter is addressed to me in perfect manuscript- Himemiya Anshii. Deadly curiosity seeps into my mind, and I turn the letter over with uneasy care. It is stamped with, of course, the rose signet. 'No..' It can't be him.... I killed him! I reel back, and then draw myself together. I was being silly. Overreacting. Maybe... I resigned myself to opening the seal on the envelope, and the scent of roses washed over me like a summer breeze. I paused, fear causing my hands to spasm uncontrollably. The letter waited, seemingly mocking my weakness. I will not surrender control again! I tear the letter from its stained sheath, and unfold the parchment. I drop the letter as if it were afire, the name scathing my pupils. How... I feel sick. I collapse on the bed, not yet bothering to read the script. The seal, the writing, and that he dared sign it as "Your Prince"... It is all too much. I drift off... or really, pass out into the welcoming abyss of sleep.

There we go, a thoroughly confusing and/or confounding chapter.

Hope y'all enjoy.

Utenafangirl- Hehe. Hope you didn't die of suspense! ; P

Keiko-chan- Let's just say I have an enormous grin on my face. Thanks! hug

Viximon- Yes, having faithful readers like you means everything. Thankies!

Tycoris 1307- Thank you. I am glad to know I am keeping the characters accurate.

Cassandra- Thank you very much!

Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass

Feana Griffke

Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters. Thank you and enjoy!

Chapter 6

Seven o'clock, and the sun's bright halo is fading fast, suffocated by the thick veil of evening clouds. A few crimson tendrils reach out to caress the world around me, like a defeated girl reaching out to her lover in one last attempt to make him stay. My eyes slide closed as I turn away from the illumination streaming though the curtains. I look down at the pallid scars now tracing my hands, and try to stifle the overwhelming sense of dread flowing through my veins. I must find Utena.... And soon. But how in the Hells did he get to me again? The question reverberates through my mind like the echoing of a church bell. And I have no answer.

I cautiously rise, exhaling the breath I didn't realize I had held captive in my lungs. Making my way across the tiny room, I strip bare and toss my garments into the open suitcase. I turn on the shower and wince at the grinding noises emanating from the pipes behind the wall. I fill up the coffee maker with water of questionable quality and drop one of my own teabags into the place designated for ground coffee. At least I will have fresh tea to thaw the chill that has closed around my heart. The shower begins to steam, so I step into the harsh spray. I slam my fist on the cheap fiberglass wall, and the tears began to flow afresh. Damn him. My tears mingled with the cascade of water, and disappear as though they had never been conjured into this world. Chu chu squawks, alerting me that my tea was almost ready. I raise my voice to tell him to turn it off upon completion, and he replies with a muffled squeak of affirmation. With Chu chu busying himself with the looming pot of tea, I proceed to massage he shampoo into my scalp and drag it though my deep locks. Once done, I duplicate the process with the conditioner, almost bored with the monotonous task. My mind wanders to Utena as I idly lather up my thin, dark body. Where is she..? I imagine her here with me, smiling and laughing nonchalantly, carefully washing my back with her lithe hands.

Chu chu begins to knock o the bathroom door with his tiny fist, becoming impatient. I can see his little face in my mind's eye; cheeks puffed up in frustration, waiting for me to fetch him his cookie that awaited him in the suitcase. I almost chuckle as he pounds faster. The towels off the rack are stiff and harsh, but I grab two anyway and proceed to wrap up my hair and cover my nakedness. The impatient monkey teeters forward as I pull the door open. He looks up at me with a disapproving stare, but his features melt as he sees the rare smile on my face. His back then snaps up with ridgedness, and he points to the suitcase, puffing his chest out like a little bird. I oblige, and withdraw a small cookie from a side pocket and hold it out to him. He rips it from me greedily, and then as if on an afterthought, he runs over and hugs my hand. I crack another small grin, and walk over to the teapot. My hand trembles weakly as I pour the dark liquid into a styrofoam cup. I walk over to the bed and sit on the stiff mattress. Absentmindedly, I let my eyes wander, and they come to rest upon an insect ascending the wall, minuscule yet somehow important. It has a part to play in this world, just like all of us. To kill or be killed.

Damn. I chastise myself for letting my wind wander again. No good... I force myself to collect my thoughts. I mush find her soon- time is short. And yet, the pressure I expect the unknown time restraints to give does not fall onto my shoulders. Maybe she is here, in this town, somewhere... I process the possibility, and find doubt to be prevalent. But there is always a chance. That is one thing Utena taught me... taught us all. There is always hope. As the Rose Bride, hope had been extricated from my veins, but Utena, with her persistence and support, injected me with hope, and something I thought I would never feel again. Love.

So the question remains. Stay here, in this town, and proceed with a thorough sweep, or leave. Run away, and hope to find her elsewhere. Not easy. Never easy. But as I turn and look out the window at Rose's Tea Shop, across the street, I cannot help but feel that at last I have found what I have been searching for.

The red haired demon grins mischievously at me, a secret sneering at me from behind his eyes. He reminds me of a little boy who as just placed a 'kick me' sign on his peer's back. I roll my eyes as I open the front gate, pointedly stopping before I allow him access. "Touga," I say in the most authoritative voice I can muster, "I am trusting you only on the promise of your good behavior. One wrong act and..." I frown as he cuts me off. "I know, you will go all Amazon on my ass and kick me to a bloody pulp. I get the point, princess." I flinch at the nickname, but remain nonchalant as I lead him into my home.

Maro looks surprised as I toss my satchel onto the floor of the foyer and usher in my unexpected guest. He peers into my eyes questioningly, and I sigh. So much wasted breath... "Maro, this is Touga. The asshole from Ohtori." Touga gives me a snide look and chides me, "Now remember how I helped you, princess." I glare at him for the second trespass with the nickname. Maro senses the tension, and speaks, motioning toward the living room. "Would you like some tea, young man?" I felt my lips twist into a grin at the condescending manner with which Maro addressed Touga. Serves him right...

We all cluster around the small table in the kitchen, silent and absorbing the comfort of the warm tea. I take much pleasure in the feeling of the hot liquid pouring down my throat and into my stomach. A tight chuckle escapes my lips as I remember Anshii trying to explain basic body physiology to me. "Peristalsis?" she asked, quizzing my wandering mind. "Umm, when something takes your breath away and your lungs are briefly paralyzed?" I flinched at the stupidity of the comment. Then again, that perfectly described what I felt when I saw her beautiful face every morning. She shook her head patiently, like a teacher, and stated matter-of-factly, "The wavelike movement of the esophagus that pushes food into the stomach. Are you all right Utena? You seem distracted..." Damn right I was distracted. She looked so cute in her schoolgirl outfit, her legs crossed beneath her, her eyes querying as to why I had not studied previously.

She was so good to me...

I look up from my cup and blush as Touga clears his throat, obviously wanting to speak. "Sorry to interrupt the reverie, but..." I sit up straight, banishing my thoughts of a not-so-innocent Anshii, and put on a businesslike air. He proceeded to speak with no taunt in his voice. "Utena, I have been searching for something, anything to make me feel at home. After you left, the council began to fall apart. We were all lost, and the meaning of our lives changed irreversibly. We were given a second chance, a new slate to write out lives upon. Only, none of us had any idea what to do..." He paused, sighed, and sipped from his teacup, bothered. "But I think, deep inside, we knew there was nothing more for us there. It was time to leave the academy behind. Our last meeting was comprised of forgiveness, resolution, and unspoken farewells. I suppose... I suppose we knew we were given this chance of escape for a reason, and that there was something waiting for us out there, just beyond the doors we had always left closed." Maro eyes the boy before us curiously, and speaks the question already forming in my throat. "So, why are you here?"

"Isn't it obvious? I am the harbinger of a new stage, a new era for all of us. And you can't shoot the messenger..."

Damn.

Hope that was better. Sorry it has been so long since the last update... Vacation, family death, stuff like that. Thank you for reading!

Cassandra- Thank you. Things will get... interesting. ; )

Viximon- I like the shock factor.

Utenafangirl- T'was meant to be confusing. But there is significance in the flower shop yard...