Disclaimer: I own nothing but the truck, chickens, and plot. -DORK- is my spacer.
-DORK-
"What did you just say?" Zidane turned to see Raine standing over him.
"I said that it doesn't understand you, Dane-Dane."
"Don't call me Dane-Dane." Zidane glared at her, "Now, unless you can magically talk to this chicken, I suggest you leave us alone."
"I can actually."
"Right, just like I said." Zidane continued on, "You can't help us so why don't … you … uh … didyoujustsaythatyoucantalktothechickenthatisaidyoucouldn'ttalktobecauseyousaidyoucouldsothereforeyoucantalktothechickenthatyousaidyoucantalktobecauseisaidyoucan'ttalktothechickentbecauseyouaretosmarttotalktoadumbchicken,andsothereforeyoucannottalktothechickenwhichEikoisholdingrightnotsoyoucantalktoit… wellwhydidn'tyousayso? anddidyouknowthatcoffeeandsugartaskereallygoodtogetherandsoitfullthrottle?yeah.that'swhyijustateanddrankabunchofitjustnow… uh … I can explain…. …. hi!"
"What?" Raine raised an eyebrow. "I have no idea what you just said, but yeah, I can talk to that chicken."
"Really? Then why didn't you say so? Ask it why it would cross the road!" Zidane tossed her the chicken.
"Hey." Raine turned to the chicken, which was now trying to make a run for it. "Chick. Cluck Brooooouuuuukkkk! cluckcluck. Cluck?"
"CLUCK! CLUCKCLUCK! cluckcluckcluck? brooouuukkkk!" The chicken ceased trying to escape.
"She says, 'Why didn't you say so? I would cross the road to get to the other side!'"
"That's it? Hmm…" Zidane began pacing again.
"Well," Eiko said, "Why does it want to get to the other side?" She scribbled down the question on what she called her "notetakingboardthatwasstapledtotheclipboardboard".
"Yeah." Zidane's eyes widened as Raine began talking to the chicken. This is it, he and Eiko thought, if we get this last answer, we can be heroes! We could solve one of the world's oldest mysteries! Nothing can go wrong now!
The chicken opened it's beak to reply, but, as fate (or karma) would have it, Vincent chose that moment to get bored with his game of "Shootat Cid and watch him jump".
A bullet ripped through the air, taking of the chicken's head, causing it to run around in circles like all headless chickens do. The next shot destroyed it's body.
Raine, Eiko, and Zidane turned to see Vincent watching the smoldering crater that was all that was left of the chicken. He saw them and said, "Now, don't tell me that wasn't cool."
Raine's eyes flared. Vincent must've saw this 'cause he swore and turned to run, but Raine was too fast and soon was on him mauling him with her "Trusty" Frying Pan Of Total Doom And Terror.
"Damn it ALL!" Eiko shouted and threw down her notetakingboardthatwasstapledtotheclipboardboard. "We were so close! Damn you Valentine!" She marched over to where Raine was killing Vincent. "Give me the Frying Pan Of Total Doom And Terror!"
"Gladly. I'll go find another chicken." Raine let Eiko have her turn beating up Vincent and went off in search of another chicken, while Zidane sat there deep in thought (I'm in shock!).
"What if…" He turned to Eiko, "What if we—Pay attention to me!" Both Vincent and Eiko stopped trying to escape from/ kill each other and looked at the Genome, who's tail was all bristly (Ever read Calvin and Hobbes? It's sorta' like when Calvin makes Hobbes nervous or scared and his tail gets all bushy.). "What if we made a quiz for several chickens to take, then chose the most common answer of them? Then we can have the others ready in case the other one was wrong! We can't lose!"
"You are so smart Zin-kun!" Eiko smiled, then grabbed Vincent's hair as he was trying to get away. "As soon as Raine comes back and Valentine is dead, we'll figure it out!"
"Right." And he went back to trying to figure out what had just been said as Eiko returned to hitting Vincent.
And this is what he decided should be on the quiz.
Why would you cross the road?
A. You felt like it.B. for the hell of it.
C. To get to the other side. D.Who knows?
If you chose 'C' then why would you get to the other side?
If you chose something other than 'C', why did you not choose 'C'?
"Yeah, that outta' do it." Raine said, after reading it. I'll go translate it and show you the results later."
"Okay," Zidane then turned to Eiko, "Alright, problem solved, you can let him go now, I mean, you must be tired too, it's been several hours since you started."
"Oh, okay." Eiko said, and reluctantly let Vincent run off. "Now what?"
"Now, we wait…" Zidane's eyes flared, "For the moment of truth! hahahaha!"
Eiko leaned against a tree and closed her eyes. "Yeah, well, let me know when Raine gets back with the results."
Zidane stopped laughing in triumph and began watching butterflies go by. He had to do something while he waited!
-DORK-
"Zidane!" Raine ran up to him, "I have the results. I gave five chickens the quiz and they all answered the same, 'To get to the other side.'"
"Why did they want to get to the other side?" Eiko woke up and asked.
"Hmm…." Zidane read one of the answers: 'I wanted to get to the other side because of that beautiful snow cone.'
Another one, 'Because of that ice cold beer over there.'
Yet another, 'Because I couldn't help myself … I blame Mcdonald!'
And the last one, 'Because that one KFC guy was following me around, holding a butcher knife behind his back, and calling, "Hear chicken chicken! Come to me!"
"Interesting," Zidane finally said.
"Yeah."
"Let's go tell Irvine! Thanks Raine!" And the two scampered off.
Raine yawned. "Whoa, where am I?"
-DORK-
"So, whose in trouble now?" Irvine smiled.
"Ah, shut up." Squall growled. "How was I suppose to know she was working with the idiot?"
"I dunno' but either way, Laguna's gonna' kick yo' ass inta' next Thursday! Ha ha!"
Then the door burst open, and Zidane came in, out of breath.
"Uh, Dane-dane?" Irvine asked, "Uh, why are you wearing a pink suit?"
"Uh … I'll tell you later, But right now," He held up a sheet of paper. "I have answered the question!"
"What?"
"You know, 'why'd the chicken cross the road?' I have the answers of four chickens right here." He began reading to them, " #1, I would cross the road to get to the other side because of that beautiful snow cone. #2, I would cross the road to get to the other side because of that ice-cold beer over there. #3, I would cross the road to get to the other side because I can't help myself, coughcoughirvinecoughcough. And #4, I would cross the road to get to the other side because that one KFC guy was following me around with a butcher knife behind his back, and calling, 'Here chicken chicken! Come to me!'"
Irvine and Squall were silent for awhile, then they sort of laughed nervously. "Uh, how did you find this out?"
"Oh, your mom helped us out a lot. Did you know she can talk to chickens?"
"Yeah, she taught me too…" Squall suddenly woke up, "Wait, did I just say that?"
"Haha!" Irvine laughed, "Yeah!"
"So, now that I have answered your amazing question, howabout another one?"
"Sure," Squall said, "What came first? The chicken or the Egg?"
"Hmm…" Zidane thrust his hand in the air, "I shall not rest until I have … solved … this … puzzle … zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
"Yeah, whatever." Irvine said and the two left.
-DORK-
Well, there it is, be sure to check out the sequel, I think you can guess what it's called
(for those of you who are to stupid to guess, it's called "What came first? da chicken, or da egg?")
BYE!