Fragments of a Rose Stained Glass
Feana Griffke
Disclaimer: I do not own nor intend to take credit for Utena or any related copyrighted materials and characters.
Also, the song "Nobody Noticed It" is the property of Lisa Marie Presley.
Thank you and enjoy!
Chapter 8
The crowd ebbs with the music stringing through the air. People of all ages buzz with excitement as they rush forward into the fairground. Decorations flutter in the breeze, unnoticed by many as they attend to the several bright attractions strewn across the lawns. And I stand still, watching the world happen around me. I feel as though I have reached an ultimatum in my life, and have no idea why. The many faces continue to pass me by, and I will my legs to move. I catch some young men staring at me in a most inappropriate manner, and shoot them a deadly glare. They laugh and duck away, slapping shoulders and smacking over-chewed gum. My dress is a glimpse of perfection, and seems to offer me a kind of purity that I cannot achieve on my own. I walk over to the line for a little ride, and a married man smiles at me kindly. He asks me if I am alone, and I hesitantly confirm his assumption, comforted by the presence of his wife and child. The kid grins up at me in her cheeriest gap-toothed manner. I smile back, and they offer to let me join them in their cart. I accept, graciously.
I always found riding with other people comforting. Like for just those few tiny minutes, I was a part of something precious. Something I knew could never really have. I was part of something rare and beautiful in this ugly world of hate. I was a member of a family. A real, happy, loving family. No distortion, just pure exhilaration and happiness... A freedom I could not otherwise afford. We all climb aboard and smile a universal smile... The kind of grin from inexhaustible childlike happiness. And for a few moments, I was home.
xixixixix
Tsuki grins at me as I straighten my tunic for the hundredth time. I know I look good, but good just isn't perfect. I sigh as we approach the crowd before us, knowing full well that this evening would be interesting, with or without romantic happenings. Partly because Touga had decided to tag along- but also because the festival has never failed to be an exciting event. I stare up at the Ferris wheel proudly reaching towards the heavens, and then at the small children racing past my feet. Every color imaginable streams to my eyes from the banners advertising games, food, and various (generally alcoholic) beverages. The air smells of sweets and an excited tension is present.
I look over at the stage, advertisements for the romantic contest to be held shortly, and laugh at the young men boasting their princeliness to their girlfriends. Whatever. But now I see the Karaoke. A grin flashes across my face, and Tuski gives me a skeptical look. "Not again... Your habits are ridiculous!" Tsuki had at one point taken me to a karaoke bar, and she regretted the night ever since. Every week I would go to the local hotspot and sing to my heart's content, basking in the eyes of the many people staring at me. Whether they enjoyed it or not, I have no idea, but it was most entertaining. I motion to Tsuki to wait there, and run up to the stage to sign up. 'Hmm... What would be appropriate for tonight? '
xixixixix
I step off of the ride, the small child hugging my legs giddily, and the parents smile and usher their babe away. To them I gesture a goodbye, and then stand still for a moment. A wave of something familiar rushes like alcohol through my veins- I shake my head and try to pinpoint the source of the emotion. As I search frantically with my eyes, my ears subconsciously pick up the melody of a tune I'd heard a while ago. But it is not a voice I was accustomed to speaking the words- an angel's cry was piecing through the swells of noise rising from the crowd. Oh God... I feel the earth tilt beneath me, and my feet began to totter towards the source of the sound. I couldn't be... Utena.
I sing out, my soul shuddering with the words that flow from my tongue. An intense longing fills me, and the colossal emotions that had been waiting within my breast flow outward through my limbs.
"I heard broken footsteps
Was that you limping?
Well I wish I that could have spent just a little bit more time with you...yeah"
xixixix
I walk towards the voice, familiar and haunting, enraptured by the spell she weaves.
"Tears on my ceiling
Weren't you watching?
Well I guess that none of us will ever know what comes after this"
xixixix
"You're still lovely
You were lovely then
All that you had to endure
I guess nobody noticed it"
I belt out the words, feeling the familiar rush of power I had felt during the duels. I remember her rapturous glance as she would walk to me, gently placing the rose on my breast- her tantalizing fingers grazing me... And then the sadness in her eyes as she had silently pleaded for me to win. Or perhaps I misread her- perhaps she was pleading for me to lose, so I would not come to the fate she knew was looming.
"I know your resemblance
It's out there walking'
And I wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten.
When they try to make you look broken
Not while I'm living'
But I wanted you to know that I heard what you said when it was raining'"
xixixix
I know she is calling me. Like a siren to the rocks, I will come and crash on her, a shipwreck of a girl. But it cannot be helped. I need her.
Always.
"You're still lovely
You were lovely then
All that you had to endure
I guess nobody noticed it
xixixixix
You made me
I love you
And do you know nothing has changed
Now everyone they notice it
Everyone notices"
And I cry out the refrain once more, a last plea to God that I will be saved. Because I know there is no salvation but her.
"You're still lovely
You were lovely then
All that you had to endure
I guess nobody noticed it"
You made me
I love you
And do you know that nothing has changed
Now everyone they notice it
Everyone notices"
And as the last note falls from me, I see before me a vision of everything I have loved in the world.
It was the revelation I had been seeking since the apocalypse.
She was here.
xixixix
I look up into her eyes as the last word falls from her mouth. The crowd begins to cheer wildly, but all is silent about me. All I see is her. The ivory hand reaches down to me, and I am lifted onto the stage. I feel as though I am a vaporous mass, dazedly hovering over the earth below.
We stare at each other for a moment, dazed. A few electric centimeters lie between us, but it is all I can do to breathe as I drink in her presence. I look up into those brazen eyes, blazing as fiercely as ever, and I know I am finally Home.
xixixix
I envelop her in my arms, gently, as not to break the spell. Distantly, tune begins to play, but if it was from a loudspeaker or restricted to our presence I cannot know. I take her hands, placing one on my tufted shoulder and securing the other in my grasp. We begin to sway, my hands guiding her slowly. We fall into a waltz as the tempo begins to escalate, and she mirrors the slow grin I am sure is creeping onto my lips.
And the music stops. We halt succinctly, not caring that we have hogged the stage, not caring that we are two women, not caring that we had been to Hell and back. All that matters is her, in my arms, staring into my eyes. I feel the intensity growing; the distance between us collapsing.
And then we kiss.
xixixix
The feeling is the most beautiful thing I have felt in all my years of living, if you could call my petty existence a life. Her lips are soft and gentle, but firm as her embrace. In that instant I realize that this, that she, is all I have ever wanted or needed. And nothing else would ever matter.
My prince, my true savior, has me in her arms, and nothing will ever destroy me again.
FG
Hope you enjoy! Such a long hiatus, I know, but I felt that I should continue.
Life is a fascinating thing, and it is amazing the difference a year makes in your perception of reality.