Title: Just Tell Me What You Want
Rating: This chapter is probably only PG-ish. There's slight language.
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. I can't claim them. They are all property of the hard-working folks who are involved in the show South Of Nowhere. (Okay, I own Neil and Brock, but they aren't in this chapter anyway. They live at the bowling alley, only. Also, in this chapter, there is a girl named Nikki. She's not part of the original cast of S.O.N. either.)
Feedback: Thanks to everyone who sends it. I really appreciate it, and would love getting some for this chapter.
Summary: This will be a Spencer/Ashley story. It will involve the other characters of South of Nowhere though too.
Author's Notes: Here's the next section of my story. It ended up being on the long side, but a longer update is okay, I decided, because I didn't want to break this part into sections. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Please read and respond. Thanks!
Ashley pulled out of the kiss while trying to gauge Spencer's reaction. Spencer had her back turned away from Ashley and towards Kelly, so it was hard to read her reaction. "Ashley, we still have to talk." Aiden was still talking apparently, so Ashley felt obligated to pay him a little bit of attention. They were friends, after all.
"Huh," she was responded but still wasn't paying attention. "What do we need to talk about?
"Us," Aiden answered as he tried to turn to block out the brunette's view of the blonde. He knew that he was never going to get anything through her mind if she kept looking at her while they were talking.
"Us?" There, he blocked the brunette's view successfully, and now she was paying him at least a little bit of attention.
"You said someone else's name this morning when we were kissing." Aiden decided to get right down to the point, and let her know what was wrong. He wasn't sure how long he could hold her attention at the moment.
"I can't talk while I kiss. I'm not that talented." Ashley seemed to contemplate her talents involving kissing for a moment and she stared off into space before shaking her head. Apparently, she had to check to make sure that she couldn't talk and kiss at the same time.
"Okay, you moaned it, whatever the hell you want to call it. You said Spencer, not Aiden. Spencer." Aiden felt weird mentioning this, but it was obvious that it was the only way that Ashley was going to own up to it.
"Oh…" Ashley trailed off, and she suddenly became interested in her bracelet. Right. She had said, er, moaned, Spencer's name this morning. It had been weird kissing Aiden, and when she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that it wasn't him. Okay, so in this image Spencer had scruff, but Aiden was familiar. She knew what it was like to be with him, so kissing him wasn't that awkward, and the thoughts about Spencer helped. Just, when she went to kiss him after a few moments, she felt the words coming out, and she knew that something was wrong. Ashley realized that the wrong name had been uttered, and she tried to ignore it; Aiden couldn't. He knew that her heart wasn't in it, and that he was probably just for comfort, so that she didn't think about Spencer, like anything helped that anyway, but that drew the line for him. He was not going to listen to her talk about her should-be girlfriend.
"Yeah," Aiden mumbled feeling awkward, but determined to press on.
"Spencer!" Aiden's hope was fleeting because about twenty seconds later, Kelly was heard shouting Spencer's name.
"Spencer!" This time the shout was from Ashley, who had maneuvered around Aiden to see Spencer running off. Spencer had been watching Ashley and Aiden as much as she could, and now she couldn't handle listening to Kelly anymore. She was talking about their relationship, and Spencer was thinking about someone else. The someone else was over there, having just made out with someone else. A guy someone else named Aiden. It was too much. "I have to go." Ashley tore her eyes away from Spencer to look at Aiden fully.
"What? But we're talking." Aiden tried to look grumpy, but he knew that it was a lost battle. Ashley just gave him a knowing look, and he shrugged before looking serious again. "I'm just the rebound skank, aren't I?"
"Um…yeah…" Ashley looked thoughtful for a moment, and tried her best not to look for Spencer again. Aiden deserved that much. "It's not you're fault. You really are fun, but you're not for me. I mean, physically and mentally not for me."
"She is?" He gestured towards the fleeting blonde figure, and Ashley nodded.
"Definitely," for the first time this whole conversation, Ashley grinned.
"Fine." He sighed. "I'll be the re-bound skank. Just go get the girl." He pointed towards Spencer once more, releasing Ashley from their conversation.
"You are such a cliché." Ashley chuckled at her friend, and they shared a smile. Then, she was running after Spencer.
"I'm…" Aiden began, but after his first word he stopped as he noticed a girl walk by. Well, that definitely worked as a distraction for him. He let Ashley go run after Spencer. "Why, hello. You're in my history class aren't you?" She was a few inches shorter than him, with shoulder length blonde hair.
"No," she replied before even glancing at him. The girl's name was Nikki, and he was sure that he'd seen her around campus a few times. She must be in one of his classes, and the class obviously wasn't history.
"Math?" He guessed as he looked at her closely. She had blue, almost gray, eyes, and seemed determined not to look at him.
"No," she replied again, and luckily actually looked at him this time. He smiled.
"Chemistry?" He was going to run out of classes soon if she wasn't in one of these.
"Actually, I think so. Last semester." She slowed her pace for a moment and threw him a smile.
Hah, jackpot. "Huh, I knew that we had some chemistry between us." Okay, so his line was corny, but he thought it was worth a shot. She noticed the corniness, and threw him an exasperated look. She really didn't need to deal with him right now when she had a chemistry test next hour, but at least he had a cute sense of humor.
"You're completely right. This does mean that I should walk you to class…to chemistry?" He nodded his head, although she had not said another word to him yet, as he began officially walking her to class. Luckily, they were going towards his locker, and he was sure that she would wait while he grabbed his books quick.
She nodded. "Great," he replied. Aiden realized that he had, in fact, already gone to chemistry once that day…but maybe the teacher wouldn't mind. He would just think that Aiden needed a little extra help on today's assignment. Thank God for study hall during the same hour as Nikki's chemistry.
"You know, I've seen you on the basketball court." Nikki admitted that she was a fan of basketball as he grabbed his books from his locker.
"Oh yeah?" Aiden allowed a small smirk to begin on his face as he looked at the girl.
"Yeah," she smiled. "You're really good." The smirk emerged into a full-fledged grin. Definitely jackpot.
"You don't even go to school here." Ashley frowned at Kelly as they both reached the school doors, and the school security that was meandering around. "She doesn't go to school." Ashley pointed at her as the woman walked towards them. The security woman frowned.
"Can I see your school I.D.?"
"I, uh, don't go here." Kelly mumbled for lack of anything else to try to get through the security woman. Stupid large schools and their security and protection programs.
"And you?" The security woman turned to look at Ashley.
"Hey, hey." Ashley raised her hands in surrender and almost mock-defense. "You see me every morning." she pulled her I.D. out of her pocket and flashed it.
"Okay." The woman nodded at Ashley, who proceeded to enter the school again. "Well, you are going to have to leave. You can't enter here." She blocked the door as Kelly tried to look by her, and perhaps enter it. The security guard wasn't going to let it happen.
"Spencer!" Ashley whispered fiercely as she caught up to the blonde girl again.
"Ashley, leave me alone." Spencer wiped frantically at a tear, trying to avoid letting Ashley see it. She saw it.
"Spence, come on, we have to talk." Ashley wasn't willing to give up, and before they knew it, they realized that they were in the girls' locker room. It seemed an appropriate place to have a conversation that Spencer knew that she couldn't get out of.
"No, we don't." It didn't stop her from trying though.
"Please?" Ashley pouted a face that she knew that even an angry Spencer couldn't ignore.
"What do you want?" Spencer looked at Ashley, and she knew that her face was probably giving her away right about then. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy; she had been crying. It was more than just the single tear, and that's why it had taken her a little while to get inside because the security woman wanted to be sure that she was truly okay before she left her alone. That's why Ashley was able to catch up to her so easily after Ashley talked to Aiden.
"Okay, I'm sorry." Ashley began her apologies, but was soon interrupted by Spencer.
"Is that all? Can I go now?" Spencer looked impatient, and she looked faintly like she might cry again. And suddenly, Ashley felt all the worse, and felt all the more need to explain herself to the blonde.
"What? No, that's not all." Ashley reached out to cautiously touch Spencer's elbow. She jerked away. "Spence, it's not what you think."
"You weren't just making out with Aiden?" Okay, so Ashley would have to admit that that part was true.
"It's not entirely what you think." Ashley tried to simply rephrase her question.
"You weren't late this morning because you were making out with Aiden?" Okay, again, Spencer was right, but Ashley wasn't going to let this go so easily. She wasn't going to let Spencer go so easily.
"Okay, so the reasons behind this are different anyway." There, that was a true statement that Spencer couldn't argue with.
"You didn't want to," Spencer paused to take a breath and look away from Ashley for a moment. She couldn't say the words 'have sex' when it came to Ashley and Aiden together. So, she skipped a few words. "…with Aiden?"
"No," Ashley vehemently shook her head. She knew what Spencer implied with her silence. She knew what the unspoken words were. "No!"
"So what was it?" Spencer still didn't understand Ashley's reasoning for kissing Aiden then. Though, Ashley didn't even completely understand her own reasoning for kissing the guy either.
"I missed you." It was short. It was simple. It was true.
"That's why you did that?" Spencer looked even more confused as she regarded the brunette with curiosity.
"No, I mean. Yes?" Even the ever-so-smooth Ashley didn't know how to regard that question. "I wanted to make you jealous." She decided that honesty really is the best policy.
"That's screwed up, Ash." Spencer whispered as she looked away from the other girl, trying to comprehend all of what was going on. She was suddenly thankful for no gym classes that hour, which meant that they would have the whole period to themselves in the locker room to talk. Of course, they were missing their class, but it was worth it, if they could understand what the other meant, what the other girl wanted.
"I know, but, I can't help it okay? I'm not used to this kind of a feeling." Ashley leaned her head back in the air for a moment, trying to gather all of her words. She wanted to say this properly. "I was with Aiden this morning, and not with him in the way you're thinking. We were just kissing, and then, I, uh…" Ashley trailed off for a moment, before again deciding that the truth was her best chance at this point. It was her only chance.
"I kind of said your name. That's when I realized that no matter how hard I tried to just ignore the fact and the feelings that were growing in me, they weren't going to just go away. You weren't just going to go away just because I saw you with Kelly." Ashley finished, and she tried to stop the tears that were threatening to run down her face. She stopped all but one; that one she wiped viciously at.
"I've never really been with Kelly. I mean, I was kissing her. I've kissed her yes, but we were never dating, and I never called her that day. That was apparently my mom's doing, when she let in Kelly, but she didn't let in you." Spencer was quick to correct Ashley's thoughts. She did believe Ashley.
"And although I tried to block you out of my head by kissing Aiden. It doesn't work. You can't turn a girl straight. Believe me, I tried. Kissing him really doesn't work after…" Ashley trailed off again, and bit off her troubled chuckle before it came out. She didn't want to say what she had almost said. She didn't want to sound stupid.
"After what?" Spencer was serious, and Ashley suddenly realized that Spencer wasn't going to laugh at what she had to say, well she might, but not in a vicious way. The look in the blonde's eyes egged the brunette on.
"After I know what kissing you is like. Kissing you is like…everything inside of me feels real, and everything seems so awake and alive. It's like, everything in the world is finally right, and for a while I couldn't understand what that feeling felt like. What that feeling was." Ashley struggled for a minute to think of the right words to display how she felt, and she finally felt like maybe she found the right words.
"You better not be talking about heartburn." The blonde managed to find humor in all of this serious feeling talk, and she raised her eyebrow. Her left eyebrow. At Ashley.
"I'm not talking about heartburn," Ashley shook her head, still being serious until she saw the smile playing on the blonde's lips. "And that sounded like something I'd say. Why, Spencer, am I rubbing off on you? I do think I am." The brunette paused again, smiling, raising her left eyebrow at the blonde.
"I love you, Spencer. That's what I was talking about. That's what I'm feeling. It might have taken me a while to realize this exactly, but I realize it now. Just please don't tell me it's too late for me to be having an epiphany." The brunette turned back to being serious. She had to say what she finally felt, or else it was going to be too late. She was going to lose Spencer.
"Ashley Davies used the word epiphany? The world is ending." Suddenly, Spencer seemed to adopt Ashley's sense of quirky humor, and her want to avoid anything too serious or deep.
"The world doesn't matter right now. You matter." Ashley reached out to touch Spencer's arm again, and this time the blonde didn't wiggle away.
"But if there is not world then I don't exist." Spencer was still trying to lighten the mood. Spencer didn't want to cry again. If the mood was too heavy, too deep; she would cry again. Her attempts at lightheartedness were in vain once Ashley started talking again.
"The world matters then, but just because you matter. Spencer, is it too late?" The tears just had to stay away long enough for Spencer to answer the brunette.