Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. Totally not mine.
Me: Alright guys…I can go into a big long explanation about how busy I've been, how shity my life is at the moment, and how I've gone into a somewhat downward spiral. This chapter you're about to read…well it's been a work in progress for the past 5 months. I appreciate your reviews…every single one of them makes me smile. Thank you loyal fans for understanding…I'm truly sorry. I'll try to be more on the ball…and I'm sorry if this chapter sucks.
And since I'm in a bit of a sad mood right now, I'll tell you this much. My friend Sabbi who randomly appears in all my fics…I don't know if I want to feature her anymore. Five years of friendship seems to have vanished in nine months of a boy. I'm not jealous of them…I just want her back. I want my old Sabbi back. Not this selfish, snappy girl that it seems she's become. It hurts to write this, and I'm sorry I'm complaining to you folks, and I'm sure there are some who understand, but my best friend – my sister in some ways – is…gone. And ironically, Sabbi's sister Shain has been more of a friend to me than she has. So maybe I'll switch them…I dunno yet. Anyways, enough of my emo-ness.
Corey: Enjoy.
Oh look, I'm getting attention. Well it seems my babbling is getting the authoress some reviews, so I guess I should continue with the story.
Now where was I?
Oh yes, Bird-Man-Gangster.
That pompous, arrogant, ill tempered, bird-brained, son of a bitch.
I never knew how much I missed him.
He had left months ago and hadn't given us a letter in many days. What he was doing in the mountains, I have no idea. Probably busy doing what he likes to call "training". Poor trees didn't have a chance. His clothes had large rips; his normally white jacket looked worn and had a brownish tint. Let's also say that he wasn't the nicest smelling thing in the world. He smelt like some sort of shit.
…not going there.
You could tell he was pissed off the way he glared at me. I gave the ruro control quickly. I wasn't going to be the one punched for his stupidity. Not that I was scared of him at all…it's just that I bruise easily.
…What?
…I really do…
…Don't give me that look….
….anyways…
"Sano! It's been a while!" the ruro said nervously.
The Bird-man-gangster just spoke low. His rage made his voice quiver along with the ruro.
"What's this I'm hearing about missy being raped?"
The ruro stiffened with fear, and knew what was coming. I laughed in the back of his mind.
'Looks like you're in deep shit now, eh ruro?'
This one does not need Battousai to point out the obvious…
'Whatever, it's our funeral.'
I cannot tell him anything other than the truth…
'Knock yourself out... No pun intended.'
The ruro hung his head low, letting his bangs trail across his face hiding his hurt purple eyes.
"This one can do nothing but apologize Sanosuke…this one…failed in protecting her."
"You're damn right you failed!" you could feel his chi starting to flame, "I trusted you to watch her while I was gone, hell we all did!"
He pulled his arm back and clenched his fists.
Man did I want popcorn.
"She's like my sister, Kenshin! And you mean more to her than me!"
Now, when Sano hits, you must understand what it feels like. I'm going to try to explain, which means you probably won't understand me anyways but just humor me.
It feels like your underwater, out of air, and then out of nowhere this big fuckin ship collides with your head.
In other words….severe pain.
We both felt it as we flew through the dojo doors and collided with the stone ground, breaking through it. Thank kami for good constitutions...we were actually still able to breathe.
'You deserved that.' I said chuckling behind his mind's eye.
The Bird-Man-Gangster stalked over and grinded his foot into our stomach.
'You deserved that too.'
Sano's face peered down at ours, eager to see the expression on our face. But if there's one of the few things about the ruro that I admire, is how guilty he can make himself and people look.
The ruro looked at Sano, and his voice trembled slightly as he said his monologue. Damn I hate those things. He gives his little voice of reason for like, five whole minutes. Meanwhile I'm screaming with boredom. So, I had lost interest halfway through like any normal person, but this is what I remember.
"This one deserves every kick and punch, Sano. Sessha failed in my duty as a protector, and this one will not stop you from doing me every harm that this one has earned through broken trust. I blah, blah, blah, I'm an asshole, blah, blah, blah, kick me, blah, lost faith, blah, fuck this shit, blah, blah, so hurt me."
Ok, maybe I paraphrased a little bit, but only a little, I swear.
I mean really, do you actually think Saint Ruro would actually curse? I would pay to hear the ruro actually say "Fuck this shit". How friggin hilarious would that be? And maybe "Dawg"…
Can't…stop…laughing…just pictured the ruro…
Alright, I'm okay. Here we go.
Well anyways, what ever bullshit the ruro fed the Bird-man-gangster worked because as his anger lifted, so did his foot from our stomach.
Or maybe it was that small voice that had rung through my ears as she spoke.
"Sano…?" Kaoru asked quietly as she peeked through the dojo doors, "Sano, is that really you?"
The Bird-Man-Gangster stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Hey Missy, how've ya been?"
Kaoru had actually ran to him, stepping on us to get to him, and gave him a large embrace. That was a blow to the stomach…pun intended.
"It's been months Sano!" she said, but then froze and turned back towards the dojo doors.
"Sano…" she said angrily, "What happened to my doors?"
Sano put a hand behind his head and laughed nervously, "So, Kaoru, is that a new kimono?"
It was getting good. Even if I can't hit him back, Kaoru sure as hell could.
"Sano!" she raged, her eyes narrowing into slits, "You've had to of only been here for a few minutes and you've already destroyed my dojo!"
But behind her scowl you could see a slight twist of a smile, and even as she beat him with her bokken and he ran and cowered, happiness flickered through her eyes.
She was happy he was home.
But anyways, back to me. A few broken ribs never killed anybody, but holy shit did that hurt like hell. It was like a thousand needles pricking against my chest as we stood up. Not that I'd even show pain like that. Sensei taught me to work through pain...
…Let's not go into his "Working through the Pain" training, I'll save that story for a bit later on…
You want to hear it now?
Yes?
Well tough shit, I'm finishing this part first.
The ruro eased us up, and dusted off our pants and folded our arms inside our sleeves. A smile played coyly on our lips. Just that little bit of happiness for her gave us the little remorse I needed to go on.
How very emotional of me…
Don't get used to it.
Anyways, we decided we should celebrate Kaoru's good health and Sano's return, so we all decided to dress up for the Akabeko.
Why do we always go to the Akabeko? Why not some other places like…Mc Donald's? Besides the fact it didn't exist…
I mean, how many times can you have beef pot stew?
Don't answer that.
Moving on.
I dressed in a blue gi for a change, and the Bird-Man-Gangster still worn his usual…though a lot cleaner.
Then my Kaoru appeared through the dojo doors.
My god you have no idea how incredibly sexy this girl can be. She worn this deep blue kimono, a gold obi wrapped around her petit figure, a golden ribbon holding her hair only half up for a change letting the rest of her hair trail down her back…
Be right back, bathroom break.
Okay, I'm good.
What was that you stupid reader?
What the hell do you care about what I do in the bathroom?
Oh, and you?
Of course I was staring. You couldn't call yourself a man if you weren't.
Staring at Kaoru! Not-!
Perverts.
Lets just say, there was a definite awakening in the lower region. Damn I wanted that ass.
Wow…how incredibly corny and low of me.
Got a problem with that?
Bite me.
Or we'll leave that to Kaoru.
Yes, that was sexual innuendo.
Anyways, she stared at me with those beautiful sapphire eyes. I stole a moment from the ruro, and gave my own sexy battousai smile. That dangerous slick smile that made her know I was all hers. She held her breath for a moment, and I gave the ruro control back. There was no way he could talked his way out of that invitation I just gave her. He'd be too embarrassed to even mention it. So he did the next best thing, and turned away from her while he blushed a color as bright as his stupid flaming pink gi.
Battousai, that was not nice.
Since when have I been nice?
What is she to think of this one now that you have given her that…invitation?
She's going to think you want to fuck her.
Oro…why can't you just let this one go his own pace?
Because the longer you wait, the more the viewers are going to think you're a fag.
This one is not a homosexual.
Yeah, tell that to your pink gi.
It is not pink, it's fuchsia.
You can't be a real man in the Meiji era and wear pink.
It's fuchsia!
So while we were arguing in our mind we kind of forgot where we were. When I finally gave the ruro control back, everyone was all eyes. He just gave that stupid grin and laughed it off after he apologized for being creepy.
And with that we were off to the Akabeko.
Corey: Fudgemonkeys!