CHAPTER FOUR

The air was filled with joy, worry, sadness and confusion as Beverly Crusher and Deanna Troi discussed Beverly's circumstances. Beverly had to hear Deanna's opinion before she left, she needed an outside voice in the matter.

"I need to talk to someone… it's important." Beverly had began.

Deanna smiled warmly. "Well, you can talk to me. Is this about you leaveing for Star Fleet Medical tomorrow?"

"No, well, I mean yes." She paused trying to judge Deanna's reaction.

"You're confused and worried. I think that you're making a wonderful career choice. And if you're worried about Wesley staying for a few days…" Deanna trailed off senseing Beverly's emotions "That's not it. What's wrong?"

Beverly took a deep breath. "Deanna, I do think this is a great career choice and I know Wes will be fine here, he'll probably want to stay longer. But my career is not the only reason that I have to leave the ship right now." she paused briefly and then continued "Deanna, I'm pregnant…"

Deanna sat up in her chair. "Wow. Congratulations… Why are you worried?"

"I just don't know if I'm going to make the right choice. I'm about to deny my child a chance to know it's father. Jean-Luc doesn't like kids too much and his career is so important to him, having a baby isn't what he has in mind right now. I mean, he has no idea… This wasn't suppose to happen."

Deanna took a moment to think about the situation.

"Beverly, when and how things are meant to workout they will. Just remember to put your child's life first. Do what you think is best for him or her, it's going to be a rough road ahead of you, but you will get through it."

Beverly sighed. "I know all too well what it's like to be a single parent and I know how it feels to be a kid without parents… but at least I had Nana, my child is gonna have me only on weekends and holidays. Deanna, am I doing the right thing?" She asked desperate for reassurance.

Deanna shook her head "I don't know. I am no use to you as a counselor this time."

Beverly smiled softly, "But you've been a good friend to sit here and listen to me."

Both women stood up and embraced.

"Good luck with this Beverly." Deanna said quietly.

Beverly awoke to the sound of Jean-Luc's voice. She'd been having one of those flashback dreams again. There was so much going on in her head that was to be expected.

"Beverly, wake up. It's seven thirty. We're both late for work… by 2 hours.." Jean-Luc said in a hurried voice.

Beverly popped out of bed and started to get dressed.

"Well look on the bright side, I slept all night."

As Beverly pulled on her uniform Jean-Luc turned to her and asked,

"What does she look like?"

Beverly stared at him with a question on her face trying to push away the fogginess of her sleepy mind. Then she realized who he was talking about.

"Felicity?" She asked. Jean-Luc nodded.

"Well, She's got curly chin length red hair and your eye color. She is tall and skinny. She is very beautiful." Beverly said pulling on her uniform top.

"I'm sure. You are her mother." Jean-Luc complimented. Beverly smiled and headed over to her bedroom closet.

"I've got some pictures somewhere."

After a minute she finds a box with a photo album in it. She flips through it as she lays it on the bed near where Jean-Luc had a sat. They passed pictures of Beverly, her Nana, Wesley, Jack, Jean-Luc, Will and Deanna's wedding.

"She's so much like you Jean-Luc, that is except for her temper, she's a Howard all the way. Ah here's the pictures." she said pointing to the book.

Then she handed it to Jean-Luc. He smiled as he stared at pictures of their daughter. There were pictures from when she was a baby all the way up to Beverly's last shore leave. One picture especially caught Jean-Luc attention it was of Felicity with a boy. He was holding her close.

"Who is he?" Jean-Luc asked looking at Beverly. Beverly had a very sober look on her face.

"Uh, That picture was taken at her 9th grade homecoming dance. That was her boyfriend Christian… they were very much in love."

"Were?"

There was a short moment of silence and then Beverly explained.

"Christian died last year. Some angry teenager murdered him. Feli swears that she'll never love again."

Jean-Luc took one more glance at the pictures and then closed the book he looked up at Beverly.

"I've been there." She said continuing the thought. Jean-Luc took her hand, but Beverly, being Beverly quickly changed the subject.

"C'mon We've got to get going we're already late enough." She said leaving her bedroom..