Crash

Author- Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters apart from Madison. And the baby-sitterI guess.

A/N- Okay guys, thank you so much for your reviews, and I'm sorry that it has taken this long for an update. This is the penultimate chapter, so please please please review as you'll only get one more chance. I love your reviews so much.

Crash

"You are in control of your life. Don't ever forget that.You are what you are because of the concious and subconcious choices you have made"

Lucas practically jumped off the seat, scaring Madison slightly with his urgency.

"Brooke sweetie are you o.k?" Lucas asked, pushing through the crowd of medical assistants so that he could reach her hand and hold it. She closed her eyes, obviously in pain, but she opened them again to look at Madison who was standing scared near Haley.

"Maddie baby" she croaked, forcing a pained smile. Brooke motioned for her to come over, but Madison stayed by Haley, blinking back salty tears. Haley rubbed her shoulder softly with her hand and bent down so that she could whisper into Madison's ear.

"Aren't you going to tell your Mommy how you helped her?"

Madison shook her head, again moving closer to Haley. Lucas looked guiltily at Brooke who was trying her best not to cry, with the pain in her stomach, or from Madison not wanting to be near her. Either way, Lucas couldn't tell, and that hurt him too. At one time, back when they were dating in high school, or college, or even during the first year of their marriage he would have known exactly what was upsetting Brooke. Yet now, a few years later on in their marriage, and with a beautiful daughter to show for it, Lucas didn't even know what Brooke's favourite restaurant was. It was weird to think that even though they were living together, and they shared a bed , they were so distant. He hadn't even noticed when their downfall started.

"Lucas" Brooke croaked, tears brimming in her hazel eyes.

"I'm so sorry Brooke" he whispered, brushing the stray pieces of hair from out of her eyes. He never once looked away from her perfect face. If he had, he might have seen Madison silently crying into Haley's chest, or the hospital come into view. But he didn't. He hadn't shared such an intense moment with her in years, and that was the saddest thing. The fact that he had come so close to loosing her made him realise how much he loved her.

Nathan watched as the cars moved past him, the silhouettes turning into a blur after a few minutes. He wondered what Haley was doing now. It wasn't anything new, he almost always wondered what she was doing. He wondered whether she was thinking about him, if she missed him as much as he missed her, if she was as mad at him as he was at himself. He was so used to getting things his way. When he was younger, he had almost everything he wanted. He had everything that he could control, but that was the problem. He'd tried to block it out, and he'd tried to deny the fact that he was selfish, but it was staring him in the face, and he couldn't hide from it any longer.

It wasn't fair to blame Haley for going after her dream. He'd gone after his. All of those times during high school when they were married, she'd come to every single one of his basketball games, sitting in the same place in the audience, and giving him a little wave or blowing him a kiss every time he scored.

Nathan hadn't gone to high flyers because of her. And it still made him kind of angry. He knew he was good, everybody did. But his obligation was as a husband. A good one. But Haley pursued her dream as a singer. And she achieved it. She hadn't put Nathan first, and that's what scared him.

"When will daddy be home?" Jenny asked her baby-sitter as she sat bored on the couch, sticking out her bottom lip as she did so.

"When you're in bed, you know he sometimes works late Jenny"

"I want him to be here now. I'm bored" she pouted, fiddling with the hem of her jeans. Which covered the top of her pink converse trainers. She loved those shoes so much, partly because Jake had told her that they were the prettiest shoes in the world. He always smiled when she wore them, and it made Jenny wonder why. She was seven now, and so much more in tune with what her dad liked and didn't like, that some people found it funny.

"Well what shall we do then?" the baby sitter asked absent-mindedly as she flicked through the different stations on the television.

"Haley always makes up stories" Jenny replied, turning to face the young woman sat on the couch beside her.

"Well how about you tell me one of the stories then" she said with fake enthusiasm. Jenny wasn't buying it.

"That's not the way it's supposed to work. You tell me the stories."

"You know what Jenny" the baby-sitter said, looking at her watch "I think it's time for bath and bed. Then I'll tell you a story"

"A good one?" the small girl asked hopefully, and excited smile appearing on her face.

"A good one. Now be a big girl and show me how you can bath yourself." she said, flicking the remote onto the arm of the couch as 'America's Next Top Model' appeared on the t.v.

The doctor left the room and Brooke stared at the space in front of her, not really focusing on anything in particular, but trying to process everything in her head. She was pregnant? The baby was pressing against some part of her that was dangerous. Brooke couldn't even remember what he'd said. Lucas was sitting silently in the chair by her bed, but he hadn't said anything. His face was white and he looked extremely tired. But then again, so did she. They were tired. They were tired of pretending to people that everything between them was o.k. They were tired of pretending that they were this perfect family, with a perfect life. It wasn't. Not even close. But then, whose life is perfect anyway?

Jake walked down the corridor to the room where the body of the woman had been brought to. All he'd been told was that he should go there because there was something he needed to do. That corridor seemed like it would never end. His heart was pounding in his chest, and the white walls and floor had all blurred into one. He could hardly see anything now. He knew it wasn't Jenny, because they'd told him she was fine. What if it was his Mom? What would her do?

The guilt took over him. He should have spent more time visiting his parents, especially now that he was living back near Tree Hill. But he hadn't. He saw them occasionally, mainly if he couldn't find a baby-sitter for Jenny and he needed someone to watch her while he was at work. His Mom was the one who had recommended Haley. He knew how much Jenny loved her as a baby-sitter, and she'd be devastated if it was her that was lying in that room. He saw the door come closer and reached out his shaky hand, grabbing for the shiny handle.

Nathan looked up out of his thoughts to hear a load of car horns, beeping insistently down the highway. Nathan smiled to himself, shaking his head. He wondered how long it would take these people to figure out that the world didn't just revolve around them. He wondered how long it would take them to stop being angry and just accept the situation.

'obviously not any time soon' he thought as the beeping continued, and he slid off the car bonnet, making his way down the highway. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be. He might as well find out what was going on now.

As he made his way closer, Nathan squinted his eyes at the car, the beat-up Corolla in the middle of the road causing his heart to lurch.

"Haley!" His heart beat in his ears as he ran towards that car, probably faster than he had ever run on a basketball court, ever.

He reached the car, but there was nobody inside. People shouted out of their window at him when he stood gazing at the photo on the dashboard. It was of him. Him and her together and in love.

"What the hell are you doing?" someone shouted out of the window at Nathan, who stood dumb-founded. Why was Haley's car just abandoned in the middle of the highway? Was in her in that accident? It couldn't have been surely. Nathan didn't want to let himself think that, so he blocked it out of the memory and dug his hands into his jacket pocket, running his fingers over the sharp piece of metal.

"Yo man is this your car?" the guy shouted again, louder and more angry this time. Nathan turned around, his hands still fingering the key.

"yeah" he said softly, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but the man saw the movement of his lips.

"Well move the damn thing so that we can get going!" he shouted, his eyes widening at the sight of Nathan leaning against the scratched door. He nodded, almost like a small child being told what to do.

"Lucas we can't do this" Brooke broke the silence and Lucas turned his head sharply in her direction.

"What do you mean we can't do this?" he asked softly, inching his chair closer to Brooke's hospital bed. He'd been thinking about Madison, and how she hadn't wanted to go over to Brooke in the ambulance. Yet she'd stayed with that woman, what was her name? Hilary? Haley? Lucas couldn't remember. He'd been too focused on his crying daughter and an unconscious Brooke when she had told him.

"I mean" she started, fixing her eyes on the clock on the wall. "We can't have this baby"

"Why not?" Lucas asked quickly. Sure they hadn't planned another child, and it maybe wasn't the best of situations, but still, this was a baby, their baby. "Are you in pain?"

Brooke shook her head. "That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean?" Lucas snapped "Don't you want another child?"

"Sure I do!" she replied, with a raised voice, matching the pitch of Lucas' "But not like this. I don't want to bring another child into this world when we're not even in a proper relationship."

"We're not in a proper relationship? Brooke, we're married!"

"Lucas, we might as well not live in the same house any more. We never spend any time together, I don't want this child to grow up without a father too."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You're never around! We already have a daughter, and to you, it's like she's not even there"

"Brooke that's not fair!"

"When was the last time you spent any time with her Lucas?"

"I picked her up from her dance class last week"

"I meant real time. When did you last play with her? Braid her hair? Colour in pictures?"

He shook his head, not knowing what to say.

"This isn't fair, I have to work to support us all"

"You don't have to work all the time. You don't have to do overtime, or work on her birthday. You don't have to spend Christmas Break sat at the computer. Do you even know what her favourite outfit is? Or her favourite book? Or even her favourite colour for that matter?"

Lucas shook his head at a loss for words. He didn't have any idea as to what the answer to any of those questions were.

"Her favourite colour is red. That's because one day we were all going out for dinner, and you told her that her and I looked so pretty in red, and that you were proud that we were 'your girls'. She remembers you saying every word of that Lucas."

He opened his mouth to speak, but Brooke cut him off.

"Her favourite book is 'The Willows In Winter'. Why? Because she knows that your favourite book is 'The Winter of Our Discontent' and they both have the word 'Winter' in them"

Brooke held up her hand to tell him that she still hadn't finished, and Lucas watched as the tears that she had held back for so long in front of him, started to fall down her cheeks.

"Her favourite outfit is a short jeans skirt and an off-the-shoulder light blue sweater with her matching flip flops. That's because I told her that one of the things I love about you is the colour of your eyes. She said that when she wore that outfit, it would remind us of you, and it would be like you were there with us. Everything that she likes relates to you Lucas."

Brooke broke down, the tears showing no sign of stopping, and all Lucas could do was contemplate what she had just said. He really had no idea about what his daughter liked, what she disliked, who her best friend was, or what games she liked playing.

"I wanted a child to be conceived out of love Lucas"

"We did"

"No we didn't" she said softly, the tears clouding her vision, but even though she couldn't see him, she knew that Lucas was close to tears. This was the first time in so long that she could sense what he was feeling. He was scared, and shocked, and angry, and upset. But most of all, he was confused. But then again, so was she.

"This baby, came from sex, not from making love. We didn't care about what the other wanted, we didn't care what we were doing."

"It was passion Brooke" Lucas argued, though he knew she was right. That night, they'd argued for ages about how he didn't spend enough time with her and Madison, about how he didn't pay their daughter enough attention. He tried to deny it at the time, but even back then, he knew it was true. He just wouldn't acknowledge it.

"It might have been passion Lucas, but it was for the wrong reasons."

"I know" he whispered dipping his head. He actually felt ashamed of himself.

"Lucas" she reached out and touched his cheek, her hands tingling at the contact. Brooke shut her eyes and Lucas did the same. They hadn't felt that for such a long time. He got up off the chair and sat beside her on the bed, rubbing her leg which was underneath the covers.

"I miss you Brooke"

She let herself fall into his arms, completely giving up on holding any emotions in. Maybe she didn't need to do that any more. He cradled her, pulling her closer as she cried into his shoulder- something she hadn't done in years.

Jake opened the door slowly, afraid to find out who was lying motionless in the room. He brought a hand to his mouth as his eyes clouded over with tears.

"Peyton"

"If we fall, we don't need self-recrimmination or blame or anger. We need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again."