Disclaimer: Serialhugger, doesn't own Naruto or any trademarks related there of, also we don't own any other trademarks you may recognize, this is a work of fan fiction meaning no money has been exchanged.

Dedication: This chapter is for... all of the people who actually read this thing.

Chapter 4: In Which Recycling Is Key

Mary-Sue was cranky. No, scratch that; Mary-Sue was very cranky. She had been in the Naruto-verse for two weeks and she had yet to fulfill her mission objective of turning a popular fandom character into a possession to be used by the E.M.S.S. in their attempt to take over the many fan sites, fictions, and forums the world over.

Still, she had time; enough, in fact, to do some serious Mary-Sue type damage to the fandom. And that was exactly what she would do- provided of course that her latest scheme worked, which it undoubtedly would for she was Mary-Sue; she was a forced to be reckoned with. She was unstoppable!

Cradling an amber colored bottle, the crazed character smirked to herself, and headed off in search of a certain dark haired, ink wielding nin. Oh, yes in deed, he was going to feel her wrath. A week or so knocked unconscious, and locked inside her bedroom closet seemed to be a fitting punishment.

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!" her laughter once again rang throughout the fandom, like a shot, announcing her presence to all, leaving each and every last bishounen to cower in fear. The laughter also served as an alarm bell to picky readers, and various other people the fandom over.

Meanwhile in the Hokage's office, a certain big breasted blonde woman, was looking at a similarly fair haired, tailed, cat eared girl for the second time in too short of a while for either's liking.

"So, I am getting paid for this right?" asked the neko. "Because, last time, I wasn't compensated."

Tsunade blinked, she hadn't been planning on paying the cat-girl; she only had ryo's after all, and Konoha currency wasn't good anywhere outside the Naruto-verse. So instead she shot a questioning glance to the authoress, who in turn gave the two women a what-the-hell-are-you-looking-at-me-for type look, before scrolling up the page and pointing out the disclaimer (which clearly stated that this work was non-profit), and got back to her previous activities, including coffee guzzling, Oreo binging, and attempting to figure out where the heck her final chapter for Attraction To A Hufflepuff had gone, it had been on her computer a few moments ago.

Stupid frigging computers!

The two blond fictional characters sweat-dropped as Smurf continued to graphically threaten her computer, and got back to the business at hand. Soon a contract was signed, and Jamesie, had agreed to remove her wayward sibling from Konoha as soon as humanly- or was that felinely- possible.

Elsewhere in Konoha, Mary-Sue's newest plan had already been set into action. She had arranged it so that Sai- or that emotionless bastard, for those of you who need a more descriptive reference- would be busy and unable to meet with his 'team' as he was supposed to.

Once more she thanked her fellow Mary-Sue from the Harry Potter fandom, for shipping her some more of that knock out potion.

She arrived at the meeting spot at the exact same time as Naruto, and smiled a bright cheery smile, "Sai is sick. I'm replacing him."

Okay, okay, so the plan wasn't very original, but it had very nearly worked the other time she had used it. And this time, there would be no bug boy or dumb mutt to stand in her way. Besides, recycling was supposed to be a good thing, wasn't it?

Their mission was a rather simple one, and it wouldn't take too long, a day, three tops. That wasn't much time to work with, but it was still better than nothing. And if she, the great Mary-Sue, could succeed then she would be able to retire knowing that she had done her duty.

"What's your name?" Naruto asked, squinting slightly as he looked at her. He couldn't help it, he was certain that he had seen her before… he just couldn't quite place where.

Standing not to far away from them, Sakura was having a similar problem. It was like there was a gaping hole in her memory; she knew that there was something strangely familiar about the young woman smiling prettily at her interim team leader, and her blonde teammate, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

And the freaky Mary-Sue powers strike yet again!

"I'm M-" well she couldn't very well tell them that her name was Mary-Sue, not after that incident with Naruto in the first chapter. So she thought up a quick lie, "My name's Midori." She forwent the family name. It wasn't important.

Naruto nodded, accepting her identity as such, and the group headed off to fulfill their ninja duties for the day.

They came across some opposition, all of which Mary-Sue managed to live through by employing some more of her freaky E.M.S.S super powers. However, they had been delayed just long enough for them to need to set up camp- only not really, because there was absolutely no way that using Moukuton Shichuuika No Jutsu could ever be considered camping.

Why the hell hadn't that jutsu been used the last time she went along on a mission! It was a damn neat little trick. And she wouldn't have had to worry about getting mud in all sorts of places she had never known existed.

Jamesie sighed, armed yet again with that funny little book that Smurf had written (and illustrated) during her coffee break at work almost a year ago, and a supply of Oreo's (didn't Smurf realize that not even fictional characters could survive on nothing other than Oreo's no matter how long said authoress wished it was so), she was off to hunt down her errant sister and this time she would make certain that the girl stayed out of Konoha for good.

How was she going to achieve that goal you ask? Well, she had simply asked Shino to talk to some of his little insect friends. After all if there was one thing that Mary-Sue's were absolutely adamant about, it was the fact that they did not DO bugs, and our Mary-Sue was no exception to the rule.

Elsewhere, Mary-Sue was about to get what she always wanted- a leaf shinobi of her very own. How cool was that? So, after everyone was more or less situated she went into phase two of her little deception.

Naruto and Sakura were asleep, warm, and cozy in their beds, Mary-Sue (or, Midori, as her companions knew her) was supposed to be resting as well. But in order for her plan to work, she needed to stay awake. Digging through her E.M.S.S. tool kit, she took out a small white bottle and popped the cap open before shaking two small pills loose, and popping them into her mouth. What better way to stay awake than consuming caffeine, in pill form or otherwise?

She could hear Yamato- she would make it a point to learn his real name and everything else about him, past, present, and otherwise, right down to the colour of underwear her liked best, later on- moving about just outside the room she currently occupied. Taking a deep breath she relaxed some, and then went to claim her prize.

Her scheme was a rather simple one at best, but that didn't matter, often times the simple solutions worked the best. She would approach him, and engage him in a conversation, that would last until she fell asleep using him as a pillow. This method was proven to work nearly ninety-eight percent of the time as it caused the victim- erm… subject- to develop tender or protective feelings for the Mary-Sue applying said technique.

This time, everything would go exactly according to plan, she was sure of it.

Jamesie had found neither hide nor hair of her delinquent sister in the three days she had been rummaging around Konoha. Though she had found three IOU's from Smurf saying she would replace the coffee she'd borrowed, a half eaten pizza, a picture of a shirtless Neji, and a drugged Sai. She had almost been tempted to leave him where she had found him, but Smurf and Dead Uchiha (who had been chatting with the blue wonder about that Yondi project mentioned in the serialhugger bio) hadn't allowed it to happen.

Dead, being the Sai fan that she was, had made Smurf actually type it in to the fiction that Jamesie would bring the poor drugged boy to the hospital where he could be treated. And once it had been written it had to be obeyed.

Upon the return of the two remaining members of team seven, their interim leader, and our cleverly disguised- meaning she had given a false name and pretended not to be the incarnation of pure evil- Mary-Sue, everything appeared to be completely normal.

It seemed that the older male had been able to fend the dark haired menace to the fandom off during their mission.

How was that possible you ask?

Naruto had felt the call of nature at a point not to far into their first evening away from Konoha, and as he had been answering it, he had come across his temporary teacher, and Sai's replacement, both of whom were talking about nothing he could quite understand, when it had hit him like a bag full of bricks to the face. He remembered where he had seen her before; she was that Mary-Sue girl; the one who had wanted to do all of those freaky things to him. And he wasted no time in letting the older shinobi know it.

A loud shout of, "She's a Mary-Sue!" had filled the log house, and all of the girl's hopes had been dashed in that instant.

There was however, something unusual about their return. Waiting for them at the date, was Shizune- she had refused to let Tsunade come, as the Hokage was way behind on her paperwork-, Shino, and our favorite cat-girl.

Mary-Sue's eyes widened in horror as she saw the bug-boy; she still remembered what had happened the last time the two of them had crossed paths. Jamesie smirked as she listened to Shizune explain Konoha's new anti-Mary-Sue security system. It consisted of a patrol of insects that would be stationed at all points of entry into the village. They were actually sort of cute, and they had been given really small forehead protectors to wear indicating that they were Konoha Ninja Bugs.

Mary-Sue paled considerably, and backed away when she saw a small insect perch itself on Shino's finger. After staring at the bug master for a few long moments, Mary-Sue did an about face and ran- not walked- away from the village that had been the source of so many good looking shinobi for her to torment.

It was thusly that Mary-Sue, and the E.M.S.S. lost their foothold in Konoha, the villagers were once again able to live without the threat of evil Mary-Sue's, and Jamesie was free to return to her yaoi doujinshi filled corner of Smurf's mind.

Here ends the fourth chapter.

I told you recycling was key.LOL.
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Hugs and Oreos!
Smurf