Chapter Five
Sarafina woke late once again. She got up and streatched in a pool of sunlight cascading from the window. She happily ate her rations of food, little as they were, and then pushed against the bar. It gave slightly, but still held tight. She estimated that it would take at least another two nights before it was loose enough to push out.
After a few hours of sitting, she found herself getting rather bored. So she started singing. Her voice was not at all pretty and had a rather rowdy sound about it. She used the basic tune of a song she picked up in an Earthkingdom town, making up most of the lyrics as she went along. She was into the third verse, singing about how horrible it was to be trapped in a ship with nought else to do than listen to Iroh's snoring when Zuko came tromping down the stairs.
"Will you stop with that aweful racket! Do you want us all to go def?" he said, his hands over his ears.
"Don't you like my singing?" Sarafina said sweetly, batting her eyelids and folding her hands in front of her in a very girly kind of way.
"Quite frankly, no." Zuko replied.
"I'd like to see you sing better." She retorted, poking out her tounge immaturely. "Besides, you can't say my lyrics weren't good."
"Uncle does tend to get rather loud at night. Sometimes I wonder weather or not the rhinos got loose and were running about on deck." After a joyful snigger from both of them, the room fell silent.
"This chamber pot needs to be cleaned." Sarafina said, breaking the silence.
"Erm… I'll send someone down later." Zuko replied. "Until then you'll just have to hold it."
"Okee dokee." Sarafina replied airily.
"You seem awefully happy today." Zuko said almost suspiciously.
"So do you. You're like a little ball of sunshine come to brighten my cloudy day!" Sarafina replied without a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Zuko just gave a little grunt of reply. Once again there was silence. Why isn't he leaving? Sarafina thought.
"It's a beautiful day." Sarafina noted, looking out the window. "If I were you I'd be out enjoying it. I love the sunshine and the light breeze and the sound of water."
Once again a slight grunt was Zuko's only reply. There was something else on his mind, she could tell.
"Something wrong?" she asked. Why do I care? She added in her mind.
"I'm just… thinking. About what you've been saying." He said hesitantly. Then, as if he regreted telling her that, he added, "Nevermind. It's nothing."
"It's not nothing." Sarafina said gently. "I understand you've been through a lot. I understand why it's taken you this long to realize the truth."
Once again there was a grunt. Then after a moment of silence, as if he were putting words together in his head, Zuko said, "I've been living like this for so long. It was all I had to live for. If he doesn't take me back, if he just takes the Avatar and sends me back into exile, then what do I live for? Why would I live? A life with no honor is no life at all."
"Zuko, do you think I have any honor among the Firenation? Do you think it does Ozai proud to look at me and what I've done?" then she paused, waiting for an answer.
"No, I guess not."
"Exactly. The only honor I have is honor to myself. And that's real honor. If you're true to yourself and live to be yourself and not someone else, you truly have freedom."
After another silence, Sarafina added, "Wow, that was smarmy as hell, wasn't it?" and gave an unenthusiastic laugh, expecting Zuko to laugh with her. But he didn't, and her laugter died out on its own.
"I never thought someone like you could so quickly cause me to doubt my own meaning of life." He said after a while. Then he stood up, his back turned away from Sarafina. "I'll send someone down to empty the chamberpot." And with that he left, leaving Sarafina in a mix of pity and satisfaction.
Maybe he can change for the better. She thought. Then she went back to her song, humming it softly and making up lyrics in her head. These lyrics were different though, and she was glad that they were kept buzzing in her head instead of sung in the open. Because what she sung in her head made her almost ashamed. But she kept humming and closed her eyes, happy to feel the sun on her face.