Hello there, everyone! Welcome back for another chapter of this story, I'm glad to finally be back writing this one again. Before we start, I just want to say a quick thank you to everyone for understanding why I couldn't update last week. That certainly wasn't planned, and kind of messed up my whole schedule, but thank you for being so kind. It truly means a lot to me.
But now getting into this one, I wish I could say this chapter is a little easier than the last one, but it isn't. Things are definitely still tense between Matt and Gabby, and we're gonna get more into that in this update and dive a little deeper into why they're feeling the way they are. I really liked writing this chapter, and I think it came out well, but it is another difficult one. Though on the bright side, that means there's nowhere to go but up!
Anyway, I think that's all I have for you guys this time. I hope you all have a great rest of your Monday, and a great week. And I'll see you all next time.
Happy reading!
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Seven
Dawson kept her eyes peeled out the window of her husband's loved silver truck while he drove down the familiar streets of Chicago, her finger tapping hastily against her leg as the only sound to be heard inside the vehicle was that of the air blowing through the vents, Gabby and Matt both choosing to sit there quietly while they made their way home. Though it was a heavy quiet, a kind they'd experienced a lot of since yesterday afternoon.
It was no surprise to Gabby that all of the tension and uncertainty between them hadn't changed since they left the station, neither one of them trying to strike up a conversation as there was still that looming hurt and anger from the words that were said yesterday. So much so that they hadn't spoken a word to each other, not since he left his office, the two of them hadn't talked. And while Dawson couldn't say she was thrown by that, as more time continued to pass it was starting to piss her off a little bit.
She thought maybe after the house had learned about Kidd's promotion, they'd have a second to talk and at least try to find some common ground. Enough for them to head home and have this not be an issue. But when he slipped out of the conference room just moments after dropping the news, without so much of a glance her way, she knew that wouldn't be happening then. That there were no conversations to be had before they left for home, as Gabby was sure he was leaving to go get some last minute work done, which is what he typically did.
So while he was in his office, Dawson opted for going through her after-shift routine as well, given she didn't have much of a choice when third shift started to roll in. After saying some last congratulations to Kidd, she backed out of the room and went to go get her things, Gabby taking her time as she wasn't sure how long Matt would be. But even with going slower than normal, and spending a few minutes talking with Jemma, and then Herrmann, she'd only managed to kill about ten minutes or so before she was ready to leave, with Casey nowhere in sight.
Dawson knew he was still in his office, and if this were a normal day she would've headed that way and sat with him while he finished up whatever he was working on. But this wasn't just a regular day, not for them at least, and the idea of them getting into another screaming match in his office didn't sound appealing to her. So after a split second decision, she chose to go wait for him out by his truck, Gabby hoping their car ride home would be able to provide them with some understanding on where the other stood after all this time apart.
But that never came either, as Gabby had been standing out there for nearly twenty minutes or so before he showed up. A long enough wait for her to wonder if maybe he'd been waiting for her to come around to his office, or if he was just delaying their ride home. She didn't know, but eventually he appeared, Gabby having pushed herself up off his truck when she saw him exit the garage and head down the driveway almost a half hour into shift change. But any hopes for them to talk went out the window when he walked straight past her to get to his door, Matt not even acknowledging her standing there before he climbed into the truck.
And that's when she really found herself getting annoyed, to the point where she hadn't even tried to say a word since then, her body angled away from him like it had been since they left the firehouse, Matt clearly not interested in trying to talk to her either.
So they didn't. Instead, they sat in a painful quiet, neither one of them even looking towards the other while they made their way home.
She could tell by their surroundings that they were getting close, Gabby pushing herself up a bit as she was ready to get out of this car and see her girls, that being one of the only things that had gotten her through the rest of their shift. They wouldn't be able to fix what was going on between her and Matt, Dawson knew that, but she also knew it would do both her and Matt some good to see them. Even if it didn't guarantee a break from each other, spending time with their daughters was always enough to diffuse whatever tension there was between them.
Though it wasn't lost on Gabby that it hadn't ever been anything quite like this. At least not in recent memory, they hadn't had a big fight like this. And she wasn't sure how things would go once they were home, or how well they'd be able to put their feelings aside for the sake of their girls.
But she was trying not to focus on it, and instead focus on seeing her babies, as after these intense past twenty four hours what she needed most right now was them.
The truck came to a slow stop, Gabby blinking a few times while coming to the realization that they'd finally made it home, her head moving around a bit after she'd realized how zoned out she was, before she inadvertently glanced towards her husband. It was then she found him watching her too, the man slowly unbuckling before their eyes locked on one another, the air in the cramped space suddenly becoming hard to breathe in as Gabby waited to see if he was finally going to say something.
And he eventually did, but it wasn't anything she necessarily wanted to hear.
"I, uh…" He started, clearing his throat before killing the engine. "I know you and I need to talk about what happened… But with our girls in there, we might want to just-" He cut himself off, before continuing on seconds later. "I don't want to be fighting in front of them." He spoke, his voice holding an edge to it that made her narrow her eyes while her hand reached for the door handle. "So if we could-"
"I wasn't planning on it." She cut him off roughly, Casey's jaw tightening the second he heard her defensive tone. "I wasn't gonna start fighting in front of them."
Matt began to shake his head, knowing she'd misunderstood the reason for his words. "Gabby…"
"I want to see the girls." She interjected once more, that wall between them building back up instantly as she got out of the truck and onto the sidewalk, the door shutting loudly in his face before he could even process what all had just happened.
Blowing out a heavy sigh, Casey shook his head before grabbing his things and heading after her, his wife having gotten the front door unlocked by the time he got there as they both walked into their home to find their girls and Becca sitting at the kitchen table.
The sight they were met by had a comfortable familiarity to it, one that helped ease the uncertainty between them for just a moment as they sat their shift bags down and continued inside.
"Mommy!" Caity called happily when she noticed her, Gabby being the first parent she saw as Caitlyn climbed down out of her seat. The quick movement from her sister prompted Sofia to then look over in their direction, before she immediately started to squeal in excitement when she saw her parents. "I missed you and Daddy." Caitlyn added while hurrying to her mom, Gabby meeting her half way before the little girl crashed into her.
"We missed you, too." She responded, Dawson crouching down to her level before wrapping her up in a secure hug, the prolonged greeting something Gabby needed more than she realized as the little girl held onto her until she couldn't anymore.
"Mommy, you're hugging me too tight." She breathed out, Dawson smiling weakly as she let her oldest daughter go.
"Sorry, baby." She murmured, rubbing her hand along the side of her head while Caitlyn gave her a bright smile.
"It's okay." She responded, Gabby giving her another nod before she glanced back towards Matt, seeing her husband still keeping his distance as he waited in the entryway.
"Why don't you go say hi to your dad, Caity." Dawson prompted, the child nodding enthusiastically before she dashed past her mom and ran right into her dad's arms, Gabby standing up and turning around just as Casey put their daughter on his hip.
"I missed you so much, Daddy." She told him, her little arms wrapping around his neck as Matt put one arm under her for support, the other holding around her back.
"Oh princess, I missed you too." He replied with the widest grin on his face before he pressed continual kisses all over her face, the action causing her loud giggle to fill the room as Gabby couldn't help but smile at the two of them. Because no matter what was going on with her and Matt, he never stopped being the incredible, attentive father he'd always been.
Though she'd expect nothing less from him.
Pursing her lips together, Gabby eventually turned away from them before heading further into their home where Sofia was impatiently waiting for at least one of her parents, the toddler straining herself in her highchair while reaching out for Gabby.
"Mama! Mama! Home! Mama home." She continued to repeat over and over, Dawson's smile returning to her face as she got to her other little girl.
"Yeah, Momma's home baby." She replied, leaning down to place a soft kiss to the top of her head, Gabby's presence beside her prompting Sofia to stop pulling in her seat and rest her back against the chair. "I missed you."
"Mama." She said again, earning another kiss from her mom.
"Yeah, it's Momma sweetheart." Dawson responded, her eyes moving over the food still in front of Sofia before she reached down to grab a piece of the cut up waffle. "Do you want more food, baby? Can you finish your breakfast for me?" She prompted, knowing her and Matt had accidentally interrupted the girls' first meal of the day. And while with Caitlyn that wouldn't be as much of an issue, Sofia was a little harder to get refocused.
But thankfully, she'd eaten the food right out of Gabby's hand before reaching down to grab her spoon for her yogurt.
"Good job, Sof. Thank you for eating for Momma." She told her, earning a proud, food-covered grin from her youngest before she shoved another bite into her mouth, Gabby smiling back down at her while she continued rubbing a hand along the top of her head.
While she continued to eat, and Caity stayed with her dad back in the living room to tell him all about her day yesterday, Gabby turned her attention back to Becca.
"How'd the girls do last night?" She asked their nanny, earning a warm smile from the younger woman as she pushed herself up from her seat at the table.
"They did well." She told her, her eyes moving between Gabby and Matt for a moment. "Caity slept like a rock, she actually went to bed a little early… We played outside a lot last night, I think it wore her out. But she slept well, and Sof did pretty good, too." She explained while Gabby lightly crossed her arms over her chest, the nanny soon seeing an exhaustion in her eyes she hadn't recognized at first. But it was surely noticeable now, though there was something else behind it as well. "...She woke up once or twice, but was able to fall back asleep rather easily. And she didn't try to get out of bed at all."
Dawson nodded slowly while she took all this in, her head turning back towards her husband for a split second, only this time to be met with a somewhat hard stare- surely one that came from her quick exit from the car just moments prior, before she faced forward once more, just in time to watch Becca look between the two of them. And if Gabby had to guess, based on the uncertainty covering their nanny's features, she'd noticed the look Matt was giving her too.
"Good, that's good." Gabby replied quickly, forcing another smile onto her face before she came around to stand on the other side of Sofia, the baby watching her movement while shoving another bit of food into her mouth. "I'm glad they slept well."
"Yeah…" Becca responded softly, her eyes continuing to move over her for just a minute more before she spoke up. "Are you alright, Gabby?" She asked her carefully, her voice loud enough to reach Casey's ears as she noticed him look back over to them, his eyes focused solely on his wife.
But it wasn't one she was used to seeing, not from him. Not towards Gabby, as that almost cold stare was still covering his features. Though it wasn't angry, or mad. He looked almost… hurt. Or upset, maybe. Upset at his wife, and that was new to her. And so was the tension she'd felt between them when they walked in the door, but it wasn't Becca's place to comment on it. She just needed to know if Gabby was okay. If they both were okay.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Dawson played it off coolly, while reaching down to rub Sofia's head. "It was just a long shift, is all. I'm exhausted." She further explained, her and Matt's demeanors starting to make a bit more sense before the woman nodded. "But we're fine. Nothing a nice day with the girls can't fix… But, uh- Thank you, for watching them."
Becca gave her a soft nod, understanding that it was time for her to go. "Of course, yeah. I'll see you all next week." She told him, Matt and Gabby both nodding back at her before she started to go and grab her things. Then once she'd done that, and said her goodbyes to the girls, Gabby let her out, the two women exchanging one last goodbye before Dawson closed the door behind her, leaving the parents alone with their daughters.
When she turned around, she was a little surprised to see Matt over by the table, Caitlyn still perched up on his hip while he used his free hand to reach down and help Sofia out of her seat.
"Did she finish eating?" Gabby asked across the room, seeing his back almost tighten before he secured Sofia against his other side, Matt turning back around to face her with an expressionless look over his features.
"Yep." He answered before walking over towards the couch with his girls, Gabby's jaw clenching a bit while she watched him before her muscles relaxed, her focus staying on them for another moment or two before she started making her way towards the kitchen to clean up what was left from their breakfast.
While Gabby stood at the counter and started putting things away, it was hard to ignore that looming tension still between them. Tension she wished they'd dealt with earlier, but now she knew they couldn't. And Matt seemed to have no issue with that either as he curled up on the couch with their daughters searching for a movie to watch, the children completely oblivious to what was going on with their parents..
And for their sake, Dawson could only hope it would stay that way.
"Chief Casey! Get the water!'
"We can help all the people!"
"Chief Casey is coming to save you, he's the bestest Chief in the whole world."
"Yay! Daddy saved the day! Yay Chief Casey!"
Those last cheers were soon followed by some rather quick, yet gentle shushing by Matt as the sound of Caitlyn's excited and carefree voice filtered into the master bedroom, Gabby hearing every word while she laid there with her eyes closed.
"Baby, remember Momma's sleeping… We need to try and be quiet." Casey reminded their oldest daughter, for what was at least the third time from what Gabby had heard, considering she'd never actually managed to fall asleep since she came in here all those hours ago. But she appreciated the thought regardless, despite her lack of sleep.
It wasn't the sounds of her daughter playing that had kept her from resting, or any sounds coming from their home, really. But instead it was the fact that she couldn't get her brain to stop thinking, as all she'd been able to do these last couple hours is lie here and mull over the way today had gone.
After their rather tense start to the day, Gabby had been pleasantly surprised by the almost calm atmosphere that settled over their home once it was just them and the girls. Even with that underlying uneasiness between her and Matt, they'd been able to do what Gabby had hoped and just kind of ignore it throughout the morning. Enough for them to be able to spend time together as a family at least, the couple more so just focusing on their kids than anything else.
Then after their few hours of time spent together, Gabby decided to spend some time cleaning up around the rest of the house, something to help get out some of her nervous energy while Matt watched their girls. Though that burst of desire to clean only lasted a little while before she thought a nap would be better, considering how mentally and physically exhausted she was. So after a quick check with Casey to make sure he was still fine with the kids, and him agreeing that some sleep would be a good idea and offering to take the girls outside to play so it would be quiet, she came into their bedroom to lie down and hopefully get some rest.
But no rest never came for her, as no matter what she did she couldn't get her brain to turn off. She'd come close to sleep a few times, but she'd always find something to wake her back up, to the point where it just became frustrating. So she'd opted for lying here instead, hoping that with this time to think by herself she'd be able to regain some of the clarity that she and Matt had lost in all this mess. Though that didn't seem to be working for her either.
Blowing out a soft sigh, she turned over onto her side, Gabby now facing the wall with her back to the door as the soreness in her muscles felt like a sign that maybe she should get out of bed here soon. That she should just give up on any hope for sleep, and go out there and join her family before the remainder of the day got away from them, seeing as how Matt had been so great in taking care of them this afternoon from the moment she said she was gonna go lie down. From playing with them outside for a long time, before bringing Sofia in for her nap and then playing with Caitlyn and her dolls, Gabby had hard him do everything he could to take care of them. All of them, Matt making his three girls his first priority as he always did, even when he was as exhausted as she was. And even when he was upset with her.
Not that he minded, that much she did know. He would never care to watch their girls and give her some time, because they were a team. No matter what was going on with them, they were a team first and foremost. Especially when it came to their daughters. No amount of fighting or disagreements could ever change that.
But there was that gnawing thought in the back of her mind that just because they were able to put their problems aside for their kids, that didn't mean Gabby wanted to keep pretending like everything was fine whenever the girls were around. And she certainly didn't want to keep living with this strain between her and her husband, Dawson letting her eyes fall closed for a moment as she once again tried to figure out what to do here.
But she didn't get much of a chance as mere moments later she heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming into the bedroom, Gabby's eyes opening slowly while she listened to what could have only been Matt walking in through the half-open door before moving further inside. He was stepping carefully, like he was trying not to wake her up as he wasn't able to see her with her body facing the wall. But those slow movements stopped once he'd come around to her side of the bed and realized she was awake, his back straightening up a bit while the rest of his body relaxed.
"Oh, hey… I didn't realize you were up." He said, his soft tone maybe being the most normal they'd sounded all day as he moved more into her view, the slight yawn that left her lips causing him to wince. "Sorry if we woke you up, I stayed outside with them as long as I could but Sof was getting kind of cranky after a while."
"It's okay, you didn't." She murmured while slowly sitting herself up in their bed, the sheet falling down to her waist as Matt shifted his weight between his feet. "I couldn't really sleep anyway." She added on, seeing him frown out of pure instinct before his face went blank a few seconds later, Matt then slowly nodding while taking a step back.
"Well, uh… Sofia's down for her nap, Probably will be for a while, and Caity's playing. If you want to try and get some more rest. I don't mind." He offered, Gabby giving him a small smile in response. "Or you can come back out there, I know Caity would love another person to play with." He added on easily, earning a soft yet somewhat hesitant chuckle from his wife before she nodded. "It's whatever you want to do."
"Thank you."
After one last look Matt started to head towards their dresser, her eyes watching him closely while he went to grab his phone, Gabby coming to realize that that must've been what brought him in here in the first place. Once he had the device secured away in his pocket, he walked over towards their door with nothing but a quick glance in her direction, Gabby grimacing slightly as she knew he was about to leave again. And after all her racing thoughts from the past hour she didn't want him to go just yet, the heavy uncertainty between them having been weighing her down to the point where she felt like she had to try and do something as she quickly spoke up.
"Hey Matt?" She said, her voice hardly sounding like her own while he stopped almost abruptly, Casey turning back to face her with raised brows. "...Can we talk?" Dawson rushed out before she could stop herself.
Though when she saw the tense look that flashed over her face a part of her wished she hadn't, his demeanor now entirely different from when he first walked into this room as within a second it became clear to her how he didn't want to have the conversation he knew she was trying to. That he'd been fine ignoring it, for now at least, and he was content to continue on with them being cordial to one another for the sake of the girls.
But if today showed her anything, that wasn't enough for her. She didn't want to keep doing this, this dancing around one another and not truly trying to get past this, where they let their stubbornness win out above everything else. That stubbornness that was both a blessing and a curse sometimes, as they were both incredibly hard-headed when they wanted to be. Even though a lot of that had mellowed out over the years, especially once they had kids, but still it hadn't gone away completely. It never would, because they were still them.
But right now, that was hurting them more than it was helping, and she was tired of it. She was completely and totally exhausted, and she didn't want to keep doing this. And even though he was angry at her, she knew Matt didn't want to either. Not when all of this was clearly affecting them. So there really was no choice to be made here. No matter how much Matt may want to put this off, they needed to talk. To resolve what had happened, and what all had been said yesterday.
And to her, now seemed like as good of a time as any.
"I've just been thinking about it- a lot… Ever since we spoke yesterday, I know there's things we still need to talk about."
"Yeah, I don't know about that Gabby." He breathed out with a shake of his head. "Unless something's changed for you since yesterday, there's nothing we need to discuss right now… Not with the girls here, it's not a good time."
"There's never gonna be a good time." She challenged, sitting up a little bit more as he let out a heavy breath, his hand coming up to rub along the back of his neck before taking a step back to the bed. "But we need to talk about what happened, we can't keep ignoring it, acting like everything's fine… Cause we do that, then the second this comes up, it's like you can't even look at me." She continued on, Matt pursing his lips together before finally meeting her eyes. "We're clearly not fine, and you're still mad at me. So we need to talk."
"I believe I tried to talk to you this morning." He countered, Gabby unable to stop the scoff that left her lips in response. "Before we came in, I wanted to talk and you didn't. So we're not gonna do it now, either."
"That wasn't going to be a talk, you were wanting to give me a lecture." She corrected him, Matt forcing himself to take another deep breath as his body stood at the foot of the bed. "You wanted to make sure I wasn't gonna try and bring this up in front of the girls- Which I'm not, by the way. But that wasn't you wanting to talk to me, because you don't. You haven't, not since yesterday when you were mad at me in your office you haven't wanted to talk about this… Hell, you've hardly spoken to me since then. You didn't even acknowledge me this morning. If you had, we could've talked then, but we didn't… So please don't stand there and act like I was the one keeping us from talking things out, because this morning out in the truck, that was about the girls. Not us. But we need to talk about us, because I don't want you and I to have to keep tiptoeing around each other other this, unsure of what the other person is thinking or feeling-"
A heavy huff coming from his lips stopped her, Gabby's eyes starting to narrow in his direction after seeing the near indignant look on his face. And it was in the moment where she truly began to regret bringing this up at all, because he wasn't ready to talk to her about it.
Now she could only hope that neither of them would say something they couldn't take back.
"Matt…"
"I know how you're feeling, Gabby." He cut her off, his neck tightening as she bit down on the inside of her cheek. "We don't need to talk about that, because I know exactly how you feel. How you think I'm wrong for being mad about what you did, and you think I doubt your abilities as a first responder. You think I'm being unfair, and being too hard on you. That I wouldn't be this mad if it were anyone else-"
"Well, that's cause you wouldn't be." She pushed back, Casey swallowing thickly as he started to shake his head. "What? You said so yourself, it's different with me… And I know why it is. Contrary to what you might think, I know why you see me differently than everyone else at 51. Because I feel the same way when it's you. Cause it is you. Every shift out there, that's you in my position. But the difference is, I don't let it affect us at the firehouse." She told him, Matt feeling the muscles in his back start to tighten while she spoke. "And I especially don't let it affect us at home-"
"So this is my fault? That's what you're saying?" He interjected once more, Gabby bringing her hands up to her head in frustration as a soft groan left the back of her throat. "You refusing to respect me as your Chief is my fault, you going off on your own and nearly getting yourself killed is my fault, just because I worry about you more than I do everyone else?"
"Matt, that's not what I'm saying." She was quick to reply, Gabby moving to get up off the bed and stand a few feet from him. "What I didn't wasn't your fault, it was mine. I made the mistake here, and I recognize that… What our problem is, is you can't let my mistake go. You're holding this grudge against me for it because I scared you, and that's not fair." She continued to push, seeing him become more and more upset with each passing second. But she didn't back down, as she got to the root of what was bothering him.
"I know I messed up, and you have every right to be hard on me for that, as my boss. It's one thing entirely for you to be upset at me as my Chief, I'd accept that. But that's not what you're doing. You're pretending that's what this is about, that you're upset I ignored your orders, but that isn't why you're angry. At least not anymore... You're mad at me as my husband, because of what happened on a call. That's the only reason you're still angry about this, not because of what I did but because of who I am to you. And if this was you, I wouldn't be treating you this way." She rambled out, Matt staying quiet while she got all of this off her chest. "You're holding onto this because you were worried about me, and to some degree I get that. But instead of trying to let that go, you're angry at me for it. And that's not fair to me." She finished, Casey clenching his jaw together as he thought over what all she had said, before another heavy scoff left his lips.
"Yeah, maybe you're right." He gave in after a moment, his voice starting to grow louder as she could hear the pain and anger in his words. "Everything you said, maybe it's true. This isn't about us as Chief and Paramedic, this is about us as Husband and Wife… But from where I'm standing, that just makes what you did worse." He fired back, the harsh tone in his words feeling like a slap across her skin. "Because my own wife can't even understand why I'm so upset about this."
"That's not true-"
"Yes, it is." He replied roughly, Gabby feeling tears starting to prick the edges of her eyes as they stood opposite one another. "It was true back when I told you this at the firehouse, and it's true now, that you stayed in that building with absolutely zero regard for me as your husband, and what would happen if you'd gotten hurt. And you didn't even care." He continued on, seeing the pain she was feeling flashing across her face. "You stayed in there, not caring what would happen to me if I lost you."
"Matt-"
"You can't try and say it's not true, because it is. I saw it… I saw how you were out on that call, and the way you acted afterwards. Not once did you think about me, or our family, when you decided to risk your life and stay in that building. So I'm sorry for being a little pissed off about that." He bit out, Gabby holding her ground as she watched him shake his head. "Sorry I'm not able to separate that from being your Chief. That I just can't get over the fact that I could've lost you, again. That I could've watched you die, again. Except this time there was something we could've done about it, and you didn't do it."
Dawson blinked quickly as his tough words hit her, her head moving from side to side as he didn't hold back either.
"I mean, dammit Gabby it was only seven months ago when I almost lost you. When I watched you die right in front of me, you think that doesn't still haunt me every day? To where I can't even go out on a call without being worried that something is gonna happen to you? What happened to you in that accident broke me. It nearly killed me, and you know that. But it's like none of that fucking mattered."
"Of course it matters!" She fought back, her words unsteady as the emotion in her throat got the best of her. "It always matters, how you feel matters. I know how hard that was for you. For all of us, but that's not what this is about. It can't be. I can't do my job worrying about an accident that happened months ago. I can't sit back and not help people just because what we do is dangerous, and you holding this against me when you've done the same thing over and over isn't fair!" She told him, bringing her hand up to wipe under her eyes as his hard exterior began to crack. "You've been hurt out on calls more times than I can count, I've had to live with almost losing you because of this job more than once, but I don't hold that over you every time it gets dangerous. And I sure as hell don't hold the girls over your head like you're doing to me right now. Not when you've always been the first one to tell me that you can't think like that out on calls, that you have to keep it separate. You don't go into burning buildings every day worried about me and the girls, because you can't. Because that's when people get hurt. You don't make every decision on a call based on us, I know you don't."
"But I don't completely disregard you all, either." He shot back, Gabby's body almost physically recoiling as his words washed over her. "I still make sure I'm safe, and that if there's someone above me to listen to, telling me to get out of an unsafe situation, I do it. I don't do whatever the hell I want and risk my life in the process!"
"Did you really just say that to me?-"
"Why are you yelling?"
Gabby and Matt both stopped when they heard the sound of their unsure, and clearly frightened little girl, Casey turning back to see their oldest standing in the doorway with her teddy bear hugged tightly to her chest, her wide eyes moving back and forth between her parents.
Blowing out a heavy sigh, Matt began to shake his head while Gabby wiped the remaining tears sitting underneath her eyes, Caitlyn's concerned look only deepening as she practically attached herself to the door frame.
"Caity…"
"I don't like yelling." She continued on, Gabby feeling more tears fill her eyes as the combination of their daughter's words, and everything Matt had just said to her was hitting her like a ton of bricks. "Yelling is scary."
"I know, but it's okay baby." Matt tried, though Caitlyn didn't seem so sure. And they both hated it. Because they tried to never argue in front of the girls.
Sure, they'd had their disagreements before. And sometimes those happened around the kids. But they made a point to never let it go too far around them. To make sure and leave it away from their daughters. Any arguments or fights they'd had in the past, they would always keep it between them. So aside from once or twice, both Matt and Gabby knew Caity had never really seen them yell. Not at each other. And they could only imagine what all was going on in her mind right now.
"Everything's fine." Gabby added on after a second, the confirmation from both her parents helping to make her believe them just a little bit before she slowly continued into their bedroom. Though she never loosened that grip on her beloved teddy bear. "You dad and I were just talking-"
"It was loud." She interjected, the skepticism coming from their six year old something that would be almost amusing if not for the situation they were in, as Casey continued to shake his head. "You and Mommy are mad… And you look sad."
"We were just having a disagreement, sweetheart." Dawson told her with as soft of a smile as she could muster. "Everything's okay, I promise."
They could tell Caitlyn wasn't entirely convinced, and still a little unsure of what she'd walked in on, but after a few more assurances from her parents she eventually gave in, the little girl nodding before she moved closer to them.
"I don't want you and Mommy to be sad." She said while going towards her dad, Matt nodding at her before he bent down to give her a hug.
"I know, we don't either… But like your mom said, we're okay. We were just talking, and got a little upset. But everything's fine, I don't want you to worry." He said once more, pressing a loving kiss to the top of her head before standing back up.
"Okay Daddy." She said, giving his leg another squeeze before she took a step back and reached down to grab her teddy bear that had fallen to the ground.
"Caity, your dad mentioned how you were out there playing with your dolls, you think I could play with you for a bit?" Gabby redirected her after a second, as now that they had explained what she walked on in they didn't want her thinking about it much longer if they could help it. "Would that be okay?"
"Yeah!" She said excitedly, that bright grin they were so used to seeing soon returning to her face, like she'd already forgotten their argument. "We can play firetrucks!"
"Sounds fun, baby… Why don't you go back out into the living room and get everything set up, I'll be out in a minute." She prompted, Caity nodding happily once more before she started skipping back towards the door.
"Okay Mommy!" She called before she was out of sight, leaving the couple alone in their bedroom once more as Gabby started to walk past him, the tension and hostility between them coming back almost immediately as Dawson was feeling some of that same anger she'd been holding onto since this morning. For more reasons than one.
"We need to fix this, Matt." She bit out as she passed him, the man straightening his spine while catching her narrow gaze. "Because that…" She said, waving her hand around between them. "Upsetting our daughter, fighting in front of her, that can't happen again. We can't do this. And I know it's on me too. I know I tried to talk about this and you didn't want to, and I shouldn't have done that but we've gotta figure this out…" Her voice was stern, Casey choosing to stay quiet while she continued on. "So all this anger you're holding onto, you need to find a way to work through it. Because until you do that, you and I can't talk about this. But I refuse to get into another argument with you in front of our kids… So I won't push you anymore. When you're ready to do that, when you're ready to talk- let me know."
And with that, she was gone, Gabby exiting the room quickly to go and play with Caitlyn, leaving Casey in there on his own as he collapsed down onto their bed, the silence surrounding him leaving nothing but her words ringing through his head.
They were words he didn't necessarily want to hear, but on some level he knew there was truth to them. That until they worked through their own feelings about this, and all the hurt and pain he was still holding onto, they'd get nowhere trying to move past this. Like Gabby said, he had to find a way to let this all go.
The problem was, he just didn't know how.
And there we have it. I know it was a rough one for Dawsey, but I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. It was really fun for me to write, especially because I don't get to write stuff like this much these days so it's nice to kind of branch out a little bit, just for a chapter or two. But don't worry, we will be getting some resolutions soon. I just didn't want to gloss over what happened and have them suddenly be fine, because I don't think that's very realistic for either of their characters. But like I said, this won't last forever because I believe our favorite couple will be finding their way through all this pretty soon.
I think that's pretty much all I've got, though. So thank you all again for reading, I hope you guys liked it. I'm eager to hear your thoughts on this one, and I can't wait to get the next chapter to you all.
I'll see you next time!