FORE!
By: Rackuhn
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the boys, CBS and Viacom do. I just like to have some fun writing about them. Don't worry; no money has exchanged hands at any time (not that they would pay me for this). Sorry to the Amanda fans. For some reason, she just didn't show up for this one. I miss her in this one too.
Warning: None, unless you count the abuse that some golf balls go through.
--
Dr. Mark Sloan was in the doctor's lounge of Community General Hospital pouring himself his favorite beverage…coffee. Unfortunately for him, the stuff that they brewed at the hospital could never be considered coffee. After pouring another cup, he turned and handed it to his son Lieutenant Steve Sloan of the Los Angeles Police Department. Sitting down, Mark gazed upon his son's excited appearance.
"I can't wait for this Saturday. Do you realize how long it's been since I've been able to go golfing?" Steve asked. Mark was about to answer when Steve continued. "I'll tell you, too long. The way my schedule has been between work and Barbeque Bob's, I haven't even been able to pick up a club in a long time."
Mark smiled at his son as he watch how jittery Steve was, noticing that he couldn't even keep himself still. He was afraid Steve was going to bounce himself right out of his chair.
"I can tell you're excited," Mark stated simply, taking a sip of his coffee. "You're starting to act just like Jesse."
"Who's staring to act like me?" Jesse stated as he enter into the lounge and overhearing the last bit of their conversation.
"Steve," Mark answered nodding his head toward his son.
"Naw, it could never happen. I'm too cute and adorable. Steve just acts like a grumpy old bear," Jesse commented on his way to the coffee pot.
"Grumpy old bear? If you don't mind, Dad and I were having a private conversation," Steve complained. Mark was already to give him a look to say that he was out of line with that comment when Jesse spoke up.
"Oh, I don't mind. What were you guys talking about?" Jesse asked as he sat down in the chair between the two.
"Golf," Mark chipped in before Steve could get started. "And how much Steve enjoys the game. In fact he will be going out this Saturday with one of his buddies from work."
"Golf? Steve you like golf?" Jesse asked floored.
"Yeah, I like golf. What's wrong with that? Golf's a great sport," defended Steve.
"Sport? Steve, how can you consider golf a sport? I mean where's the action? Where're the contact hits? Where's the blood? It's just some nut chasing a little white ball around. Now hockey, that's a sport," Jesse said enthusiastically.
"Well this nut likes chasing that little white ball around," Steve defended himself, aggravation starting to creep into his voice.
"No offense, Steve, but I just don't see the point of the game." Jesse knew he had hit all of Steve's buttons and by the look on Mark's face, he realized it too.
"Jess, golf is not as simple as it looks," Steve stated loudly. "It takes skill and technique to play the game."
"What could be so hard about hitting a little white ball?" Jesse countered.
"Tell you what, I'll take you out sometime so that you can see what the game is like," challenged Steve.
"Alright, your on," Jesse said accepting the challenge. "You name the place and time and I'll be there."
"Now hold on boys," Mark said, trying to get them to calm down. "This is going to be a friendly game, right?"
"Oh of course, Dad. I just want to show Jess that there are other sports besides hockey and football."
"And I'm just going to show Steve that golf can't be as hard as he claims it to be."
--
It was a couple of hours later and Mark was just finishing up with a patient's chart when he heard Steve call him.
"Hey Dad!"
"Steve! What are you doing back here already? Don't tell me it's lunch time already?" Mark questioned looking at his watch.
"Okay I won't tell you that. It's actually past lunchtime and I'm starving. How about we head down to the cafeteria and get something to eat?" Steve asked hopefully.
Mark grimaced at that suggestion, but seeing the look on his son's face and knowing how much Steve did actually like the hospital food, he couldn't refuse.
"They're serving meatloaf again, aren't they?" Mark asked trying to hide the look of disgust on his face.
"Yep!" Steve said enthusiastically.
"Alright, son. We can eat in the cafeteria. But next time I get to choose where we eat."
"Deal! Say Dad, you haven't seen Jesse around have you?" Steve looked around but couldn't find his friend anywhere.
"I think he's in with a patient at the moment. Something I can help you with?"
"Huh, uh no. It's just that my friend had to cancel our golf date on Saturday. Seems his wife decided to have her baby a little early, now he can't make it. I was kind of hoping that Jesse could join me."
"You wouldn't be trying to get even with Jesse because of this morning would you?" Mark asked as he looked into Steve's eyes to try and judge his motive.
"No! No, it's nothing like that. Besides, I think it would be fun if Jesse could learn how to play golf. That way we would have something else in common to do besides watching basketball games and surfing," Steve told truthfully. "Maybe you could even take it up again and then the three of us could go out and hit the links once in a while." Mark laughed at the thought of that. "What's so funny?" Steve asked glaring at his father.
"Oh, I just got a mental picture of the three of us out on the golf course. I can only imagine what it would look like once we got done with it."
"We won't be that bad," Steve countered.
"Oh, I don't know. Do you remember that old Three Stooges clip where they went golfing and there were divots everywhere?"
"Well, that may be you and Jess, but I consider myself a pretty good golfer," Steve stated as he hooked his thumbs into the shoulders of his shirt, pretending to be wearing suspenders, and rocked back and forth on his feet.
"I don't know how, considering you can't even hold the club the right way," Steve heard Jesse say as he walked up to the other two.
"What do you mean by that?" Steve glared.
"Well first off you hit left handed."
"Yeah, so?"
"Oh come on Steve. Hitting left handed is fine in baseball, but golf? Even the clubs look funny," Jesse stated. He knew that he was irritating Steve once again, but couldn't help himself.
"What do you mean by that?" Steve countered, trying not to give in to Jesse's ribbing.
"You have no control when hitting left handed. Everybody knows that," Jesse stated.
"Well when you can show me how much control you have hitting right handed, then you can talk. You free Saturday morning?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Meet me at Pendleton Golf Club at 7:30 a.m. and then you can show me how much control you have."
"Your on!"
"And don't forget your right handed clubs."
"Don't worry. I'll find a set to use."
"See you later Dad. I have to get back to work." Steve said as he stormed off.
Mark just stood there looking quite puzzled over this whole situation as he watched Steve walk away. "Boy, you really know how to push all the right buttons, don't you?"
"Yeah I do. And you know what? Its fun too!" Jesse said with a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face.
Mark turned to look at Jesse. He started laughing when he saw the look on the young doctor's face. "Oh, and another thing, I thank you from the bottom of my stomach."
This made Jesse turn and look at Mark. "What do you mean?"
"You, my friend, just got me out of a lunch date with Steve."
"Wait a minute. I thought you wanted to go to lunch with Steve today?" Jesse questioned.
"I did until Steve wanted to eat in the cafeteria."
Jesse puzzled look quickly turned into a grimace. "Ahh. I understand now, meatloaf today. I guess you do owe me one."
"Don't worry. I'll make sure that if Steve ever invites you down to eat in the cafeteria, I'll be sure to rescue you," Mark laughed as they headed to the Doctor's lounge.
--
Early Saturday morning, Jesse pulled his car up next to Steve's truck and hopped out sporting a polo shirt with khaki pants and a golf hat to match. Steve, dressed in jeans, t-shirt, and a LAPD baseball cap, stared as Jesse spun around showing off his new outfit. "Well, what do you think?"
"What are you trying to do? Get on the cover of 'Golf Digest'? We're here to play golf not put on a fashion show."
"You're just jealous. I at least look like a golfer if nothing else," Jesse replied.
"Looking like a golfer and actually playing golf are two different things, Jess. By the way, did you happen to find any golf clubs?" Steve asked as he pulled his out of his truck.
"You bet! Take a look at these!" Jesse said excitedly as he pulled out a complete set of clubs that were in a very fashionable golf bag to boot.
"You didn't buy those did you? Those must have cost a fortune." Steve commented as he started checking out Jesse's clubs.
"I borrowed them from a friend of mine. He hasn't been able to use them in a while, so he let me use them."
"Really? I didn't know they sold complete sets in children sizes," Steve taunted as he smiled at Jesse.
"Hey, that's not funny! I'll have you know that these are regulation clubs, specially made just for my friend, who happens to be a very good golfer," Jesse said. "At least these clubs face the right direction."
"We'll just see how well these clubs are compared to yours. You are going to be able to give those back to your friend in one piece right?" Steve quipped.
"Oh, ha ha ha. Just because you think you are a good golfer doesn't mean you can beat me," Jesse challenged.
"You want to put your money where your mouth is, hotshot?" Steve asked figuring this will be an easy win. "Say fifty bucks to the winner?"
"Alright, you're on," accepted Jesse.
"Great. Let's go!"
The boys paid for their rounds, rented a cart, and wheeled over to the first hole. While waiting for their turn, they both grabbed the driver to warm up a bit. "Uh Steve, one question. How do you hold the club?" Jesse asked as his hands played around on the grip.
"Oh boy, Jess. This will be the easiest fifty bucks I've gotten in a long time," Steve said as he headed over to help Jesse.
"Don't count your money too soon," Jesse said holding his hands out in a stopping motion. "I'm a quick study. Soon you'll be begging me for lessons."
Rolling his eyes, Steve gave Jesse a couple of quick pointers while waiting their turn. Soon they were up and ready to play. Steve went first to demonstrate to Jesse the "proper techniques" of the game. He teed the ball up, carefully lined up the club and after a few seconds of concentration, he started to swing. The ball went perfectly down the center of the fairway about 250 yards. He picked up the unbroken tee, turned and smiled at Jesse. "Now that's how you play the game."
"Wow that was really neat. I hope I can do that too," Jesse said as he set his ball in place. Jesse fiddled around with the driver in his hands and once he settled down, he swung and hit the ball with all his might. Much to the delight of Steve, Jesse's ball sliced to the right and into the woods about 150 yards down the fairway. "Ahh, that's too bad Jess. I sure hope we can find that ball," Steve said as he snickered to himself.
"Yeah, well don't you worry, I've got plenty more. Besides, that wasn't too bad of a shot," Jesse said as he headed for the cart.
"Jess, you're suppose to keep it out of the trees. You'll have to take a penalty for dropping another ball because you're gonna need a machete to find that one."
"A penalty? You didn't say anything about that," Jesse spat out.
"I see I have a lot to teach you," Steve said shaking his head as they drove off to try and find Jesse's ball.
--
"FINALLY!" Jesse shouted as his ball fell into the cup on the green. "Wow! I didn't realize how hard this game really was."
"It's not like I told you or anything," Steve said as he picked up Jesse's ball and placed the flag back into the cup. "So what did you get on that hole?"
"Let's see, I hit the drive into the woods so that's two, there's the shot that hit the side of the golf cart…"
"Don't forget about the one that went into the water." Steve added.
"Oh yeah. But don't forget that shot that I was able to skip over the water. Just like a skimming a pebble over a pond," Jesse said triumphantly.
"Not the kind of shot that you see everyday," Steve grinned in return.
Steve watched Jesse counting on his fingers all the shots that he hit. "All totaled, put me down for a ten. Not bad, huh?"
"Not good," Steve countered. "I had a five."
"No way, you couldn't have had a five."
"Jesse, I had par on this whole."
"I thought that you were going to teach me how to do this stuff?" Jesse asked as he headed for the golf cart.
"I am, but you're not going to pick it up the first time out," Steve replied, driving off to the next hole.
"Maybe. I guess I shouldn't have bet you that fifty bucks either, huh?" Jesse said.
Steve just grinned as he drove on to number two. "All I got to say is that it's sure is easy money."
Jesse just glared at Steve.
--
On the second hole, Jesse faired a little better. He managed to keep his ball on the fairway and made it to the green in four, while Steve got on in three. Jesse three putted the hole while Steve sunk his shot in one. "That's a four for me Jess, parred another hole," Steve said while grinning widely.
"Ah, but I got better on this hole. It only took me seven shots this time," Jesse said smugly.
"That maybe true, but I'm still beating you."
"I'm still beating you," Jesse mimicked in a child like fashion.
They both headed to the cart and drove onto Hole number three.
--
As the morning wore on, Jesse's game improved greatly as Steve's seem to fall apart. The better Jesse seemed to get, the worse Steve became. Jesse's game may have started off slow, but after the thirteenth hole, he was actually in the lead. Steve's competitive spirit got the better of him as he desperately tried not to let Jesse beat him.
"Wow Steve, you were right. This game does require technique and skill, but overall it doesn't seem that hard to play though," Jesse said as he lined up his tee shot on the fourteenth hole.
Steve just mumbled something unintelligible under his breath as he waited for Jesse to hit. "What did you say Steve?" Jesse asked, as he got ready to hit.
"Oh, I was just agreeing with you, that's all," Steve lied as the sound of grinding teeth became audible to any standing near him.
"Oh, okay," responded Jesse. Jesse steadied himself, swung the driver, and hit a perfectly executed 275-yard drive down the center of the fairway. "Wow! Now that's what I call a shot!"
Steve, not being one who would allow himself to be called rude on the golf course, managed to compliment Jesse on his drive. He then walked up to the tee box to ready his next shot. Jesse move himself into position to stand directly behind Steve's ball, yet far enough away so as not to bother Steve, so that he could keep an eye on his partner's shot. Steve still feeling the tension of the last few holes started his back swing and hit the ball with all of his might.
--
Answering his page, Mark walked into the ER and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who the patient was. "Steve! Jesse! What happened?"
"What happened? I'll tell you what happened. He hit me!" Jesse said pointing angrily at Steve as he held a bag of ice onto his head with his other hand.
"What? Steve, you hit Jesse?" Mark asked astonished beyond belief.
"Not like that! It was an accident. I…I accidentally hit him with a golf ball," Steve said as he hung his head in shame. He then looked back at Jesse. "And I said I was sorry!"
"You hit Jesse with a golf ball? What did you do, throw it at him?" Mark questioned not quite believing what he was hearing. He then went over to Jesse and started examining him.
"No, I did not throw the golf ball at him. I…I shank one of my drives and it hit him in the head before I could even say anything."
"Yeah the one minute I was standing there watching Steve tee off and the next thing I remember is waking up with one hell of a hangover and half the golf course standing over me," Jesse said excitedly. Mark was starting to get frustrated as he tried to work on Jesse. Jesse's arms and hands were flaying all over the place. "I heard one lady telling Steve to give me mouth to mouth and then there was another guy who was complaining about how I was holding up his game. Geeze, you think people could show a little respect when someone is injured."
Mark stood back waiting for Jesse to get everything out of his system. When Jesse stopped, he just happened to look over at Mark who was still standing there with a look of annoyance on his face. Jesse then realized what he was doing. "Oh, uh sorry Mark."
"That's okay Jess," Mark sighed. "Let's just finish taking a look at you, huh?" Mark then moved back to Jesse's side and continued his examination.
"He is going to be okay isn't he Dad?" Steve asked still concerned over what he had done.
"I think he's going to live if that's what's concerning you. It looks like, Jesse you have a mild to moderate concussion and one heck of bruise on the side of your head. I'm still going to send you to x-ray just to be sure," he smiled as he looked at the young doctor's face. "Uh Sarah, let's get x-ray down here to take Dr. Travis up. I want a complete skull series. Oh, and let's get a cat-scan on him too, just to be safe." Sarah nodded and headed to phone in the orders.
"Boy, who would have thought that I could have gotten hit by the golf ball while standing behind the person who's hitting that said ball? I've never seen anyone hit the ball that bad," Jesse said trying to get as comfortable as possible with his head pounding.
"What do you mean you never saw anyone hit the ball that bad? I thought you never played the game before?" Steve asked as he moved closer to his friend.
Jesse started to squirm on the examining table trying to get away from Steve. "Well, uh, I…I may have exaggerated that part a bit."
"A bit? You have played before haven't you?"
"Uh, yeah," Jesse answered sheepishly. He was starting to get very nervous and the pounding in his head was starting to turn from a one-kettle drum band to a 20-kettle drum band.
"And just where and when have you played before?" Steve demanded as he started to turn red, all guilt of hitting Jesse with the golf ball gone.
"Uh, high school and college golf leagues? Number two man on both leagues," Jesse smiled trying to use his "wounded puppy dog" face on Steve. Steve was not falling for it. Realizing that Steve was not going to be swayed, he almost fell off the edge of the table before Mark stepped in between them.
"All this time I was thinking that you never held a golf club in your life. I'm trying to be nice and teach you the game, and then to find out that you were on your school golf leagues?" Steve asked as his anger rose up some more. "Plus the fact that your good?"
"Okay you two. Steve, you just calm down. I'm sure Jesse can explain all of this…later, after he's done in x-ray and settled down in a room.
"A room? Mark, you can't be serious. It's just a small concussion," Jesse whined and winced as the 20-kettle drum band expanded to more.
"No arguments Jess. You have a concussion and you need to be observed for at least over night. And since I am working, your only other option is to go home with Steve tonight.
"St…Steve? Oh I think that staying here tonight is a wonderful idea Mark," Jesse said as he now understood where Mark was going with this.
"Oh, come on Jess. Come on home with me. I'll take real good care of you," Steve said sarcastically.
"That's what I'm afraid of," replied Jesse with fear in his voice.
"Steve, you quit picking on him. I swear you two act more like a couple of 12 year olds. Now Jesse is staying overnight here at the hospital and you Steve, are going to go home.
"Well can I least stay and find out how serious he is?" questioned Steve with concern in his voice once again. "After all, I was the one that accidentally hit him."
"I think that can be arrange, but once Jesse is settled in, you will go home," Mark said appeasing his son. Mark then turned back to Jesse, "Well Jess, I guess you can now consider golf with Steve a contact sport, with plenty of action for the other golfers, and fortunately for you, no blood was spilt, especially your own."
Jesse grimaced at that comment while Steve just glared at his father. Before either of them could say anything else, the orderly came in to take Jesse up to x-ray.
--
About two hours after Jesse was brought in, he was finally settled and in his room. Steve was there making sure Jesse had everything he needed for the night's stay. "It's just too bad that they weren't having meatloaf in the cafeteria today," Steve said as he munched on a bag of potato chips.
"Please Steve! I'm nauseous enough as it is. Don't even bring up the subject of hospital food," whined Jesse as he held onto his stomach.
"I can't understand what you people have against the food here. It's great!"
"Only to people who have no taste buds," Jesse retorted.
Steve gave Jesse an annoyed face as he finished his snack size bag of chips and washed them down with a soda. He then looked at his friend's face. "Uh, Jess? Look, I'm really sorry about what happened."
"Steve, don't worry about it. It was an accident," Jesse said trying to console his friend and laying his head down on the pillow.
"I know," Steve answered sheepishly. It's just that I got so frustrated when you started to play better than I did, and as the game went on, you kept getting better and I kept getting worse, and I just wanted so bad to…"
"Steve!" Jesse interrupted. "Steve it's okay, really. If you think about it, it is kind of my fault. I goaded you into playing against me, not telling you that I could actually play the game. It's just when I heard you telling your Dad how good you were, I just couldn't resist. And I knew if I kept going after you and started playing better than you…I just didn't think that the joke would have affected your game that much!"
Steve smiled at that last comment. "That's what you get when you try to kill the ball. Maybe I should have you give me some lessons. That way, something like this doesn't happen again."
"You got a deal," Jesse laughed. "Next time we're both off, we'll go out again!"
Steve shook his head in agreement and got up to leave when Jesse let out a huge yawn. "I better get going so that you can get some sleep. After all, you'll have to get up in an hour anyway."
"Oh, don't remind me. Now I know why I hate concussions. They always have to wake you up every hour on the hour."
"Yeah, well you at least get the next three days off to catch up," Steve smiled back.
"Three days. That'll give me enough time to figure out why I kept slicing my five iron," Jesse giggled as he watched the look on Steve's face.
"I'll give you a five iron," Steve said as he mockingly shoved a fist under Jesse's nose. "You take it easy, and I'll see you tomorrow morning when you come home with my Dad.
"Right. Oh by the way, I like my eggs scramble, with wheat toast, and don't forget the pancakes," Jesse joked.
"I hope this doesn't mean my pay per view is going up this month?" Steve quipped. "I'm still paying for the last time."
"Only if there is a good game on," Jesse said while stifling a yawn.
"Good night Jess," Steve said as he walked out the door.
"Night." Jess returned as his eyes finally closed.
Knowing that his friend was going to be fine, Steve headed down the hallway smiling and scheming on how to repay Jesse back for his latest joke. "Hmm, maybe I'll cancel my pay per view tonight."
The End
A/N: Believe it or not it is possible to hit a golf ball so badly that it goes behind you. I know. I've done it (oh and sideways is possible too).