A/N: A bit late on this chapter, I'll admit it, some chapters come easier than others to write, and then some chapters just come spilling out like a waterfall and you have to close the flood gates on yourself, either way I hope you guys enjoy this one. On another note we're closing in on 50 story subscriptions which is just insane to me. The fact people want to be notified when each of these chapters comes out is an absolute joy to my soul, and I am humbled by your patronage. In the case that this story doesn't completely stall out and we do actually reach 50, would you guys be interested in some sort of offshoot chapter? If that takes your fancy let me know, and if you'd like to present any ideas feel free. Anyways enjoy the chapter and I'll see you in the next one. ~Scipias
CHAPTER 9 – THE 104TH TRAINING CORPS: RELIEF
"Instead of fighting it, maybe try and listen to it."
Lukas Schmidt wouldn't admit it, but at first, he thought his mother's advice was downright insane. After all, who in all the walls would want to listen to their head as it's pounding a mile a minute. To the black-haired boys surprise the woman didn't seem shocked or even all that confused when he confided to her about his odd issue; Lukas's mother attributing it to a finer grasp of his senses, probably something the boy inherited from his father. Lukas didn't know if he fully believed that answer, if he was honest, he believed what was happening to him wasn't at all natural, but if there was one thing Rhia Schmidt was known for, it was being blunt, and all that aside she would never lie to him anyway.
To the woman's credit though, her solution did seem to be working, at least partially. After some trial and error, the boy seemed to be piecing together some commonalities, though it wasn't an exact science. Simply, the worse his body felt, the worse the warning to come. Though nothing had been as bad as his reaction during the bandit incident some months back, a quick sharp headache usually warned him he was about to get hit or hurt generally. This particular warning helped him during sparring sessions with Annie, though generally not that much. Then there were the dull throbbing headaches, these usually were a toss-up on what they could be, but it usually associated itself with a negative emotion Lukas was about to feel. This could be anxiety from Shadis chewing someone out, annoyance of breaking up a fight between Jean and Eren, or even disappointment as Connie failed to set off one of their pranks on Jean. Finally, there was the tapping, which usually paired itself with his odd vision changes. The duo weren't even annoying in the slightest, and at this point these only manifested when he wanted them too, though prolonged use seemed to cause some physical reaction as he seemed to get nose bleeds often after these episodes. To Lukas's understanding they seemed to work like a compass, the tapping seemingly occurring in the direction of other people, and the blurred colors he saw usually confirming the former, as people showed up in a whole array of colors the boy didn't fully yet understand.
The latter of these scenarios was in fact, helping the teen out currently. Speeding through the forest, Lukas shifted between the various triggers of his ODM gear with ease as he scanned the area for the wooden titan cutouts that served as their training dummies for this exercise. A tap in his head lead his gaze towards his left, a ways down the forest floor, a 15-meter cutout stood, directed by two of the instructor's aids, who the boys tapping was really leading him towards. Lukas sped towards the target wary that the exercise was being graded based on points scored from successful strikes on the cutouts. Since there was a limited amount of cutouts and the pads on each cutout that represented a titan's nape was only wide enough for 3 successful cuts, there wasn't time to waste.
Anchoring to a tree trunk somewhat to the right of the 'titan', Lukas reeled upwards aiming to swing around the far side of the tree. After reaching the peak of his movement, the teen detached his cables quickly firing them once more downward this time into another tree on the opposite end of the cutout. Now with gravity and momentum in his favor the black-haired boy applied a touch of gas sending him speeding past the titan's nape at a good strike angle. The rest was without thought as Lukas only needed to apply a minimal amount of force with his current speed to cut through his target. He saw the pad split, a fair-sized cut appearing, the audible rip along with it, and as he moved on, he saw the cold emotionless gaze of Commandant Shadis no doubt evaluating him.
Though the glare made the boy tense, he was in no way nervous about the exercise. Both Jean and Lukas were top of the class in ODM, the former being faster in general and better at the kill itself while the latter had better spatial awareness and flexibility with the equipment. While he could bank some of his ability on this newfound sense, Lukas couldn't discount that most of it was learnt, both from experience and observation, the latter of which more than he wanted to admit. While many recruits regarded ODM with indifference, a rugged determination, or even disgust or fear, the black-haired teen loved it. It was freedom to him, just him, his thoughts, and the free air, with the occasional passerby. Lukas felt a happiness wash over him in those moments, as even though he was just a teen it reminded him of simpler times, of happier times, of times with his dad. Not that it mattered though, the Military Police had little use for ODM, had little use for freedom.
"No, I can't be selfish."
Lukas pushed those old thoughts to the back of his head; he wouldn't burden his best friend. The teen couldn't ask Jean, the boy he considered a brother, to follow him to a certain death, not after what he saw, what they saw. Even if he didn't ask, even if Lukas went solo, even as much as Jean detested the very idea of it, his best friend would follow him, because Lukas was his best friend, Lukas was his brother, and above all things when they said till the end, they meant till the end.
"Ah shorty!" Lukas was broken out of his thoughts by his aforementioned best friend, "Fancy seeing you here."
The black-haired boy who in reality was only barely shorter than Jean yelled back at his friend, the two zipping past trees, "Can't find titans on your own horse face?"
Jean weaved in and out of two trees and smirked, "Nope, just wanted to see your face when I out score you."
Lukas vaulted over a large branch in between swings, "Must've hit your head there Jeanie, cause you seem to have lost all your common sense. I'll take you to doc after I win."
"In your dreams."
The two boys sped along and after a few moments spotted the same target within seconds of each other, this time without the use of the sense, as Lukas's concentration was now focused on friendly competition with his friend. The boy shot his hooks at two separate trees, forcing a quick deceleration and quickly contorted himself towards the target, seeing a glimpse of Jean doing a similar maneuver. Both then gassed it towards the cutout, playing a dangerous game of chicken.
"Way to scout out this once for me guys!" Lukas looked up to see Connie dropping from the canopy above the titan, "Don't mind if I take it right?" he said sarcastically.
The black-haired teen rolled his eyes, now not sure who would actually reach the nape first. Flying closer he was surprised once more as Sasha quickly glided in past all of them and surprised the trio slicing the cutouts nape first. As Lukas past the taken target he swore he could see the brunette sticking her tongue out at him in victory, then screaming in joy, and once again he couldn't differentiate whether it was adrenaline or something else that ran though his mind again.
Well, there's a whole other bag of worms.
In reality Lukas knew what he had to do. It was simple, tell Sasha how he felt, but at the same time it was hard. Everything seemed to be a contradiction to him; somedays he'd be able to talk to her like he'd done the past 3 years and somedays he'd blabber like an idiot, somedays they'd prank Connie and somedays Lukas would blush at the sight of her, somedays she was a great friend and somedays she was potentially something more. The teen wasn't embarrassed that he liked the brunette, Sasha was kind, funny, and almost always had a smile on her face. The girl from Dauper was pleasant to be around, Lukas didn't mind that she had the appetite of ten people, besides everyone had a quirk, he snored with the volume of a marching band, Jean talked in his sleep, and Connie could swallow water and shoot it out of his eye. He didn't mind her accent either, the teen actually thought it was cute, even more so when she got embarrassed about it. No Lukas was scared, scared that admitting he had feelings would ruin their friendship. He had unknowingly hurt it once already, and he didn't want to hurt it again.
"Fuck…what do I do."
…
Commandant Shadis observed as the two cadets zoomed past below him, focusing on the cadet with a short mop of black hair and a familiar face.
"Jean Kirschtein and Lukas Schmidt, joint best in the class on ODM, the former is a natural, and the latter flies like he was born in the harness. Kirschtein shows promise for leadership of a tactical level but is hampered by being an insufferable smartass with a hair trigger temper. Schmidt is a great team-player and competent fighter but has a tendency to have no focus or tunnel vision with a streak hinging on suicidal."
Shadis never forgot a face, and even though the man never showed any emotion he fondly yet sadly remembered a face not so different from the cadets, only difference being the color of his hair.
…
Lukas sat on his bunk deep in thought, he needed advice, but he didn't know what advice he needed or from whom. The teen ran through his options: Lukas trusted Jean but knew his friend was just as hopeless as he was in this topic, Connie was a no go for obvious reasons, this would fly completely over Eren's head, and it was the wrong type of advice for Armin to answer. The black-haired boy then gazed across the bunks at the duo of a large blonde boy, and his much taller dark-haired friend. Reiner was a respectable guy and acted like the big brother nobody had and Bertholdt seemed to have a smart head on his shoulders despite being overly quiet.
The mop-haired teen hopped off his cot and walked over, Bertholdt asleep in some random position, and Reiner seeming to be deep in thought.
"Sunny day with a bit of overcast tomorrow?" Lukas started pointing at the formers sleeping form.
The large blonde teen looked up at him and chuckled acknowledging the joke, "Seems like it." Reiner pushed his friend awake, "What's up Lukas?"
The black-haired teen sighed a bit anxious, "Well ya see, I got this issue."
Reiner squinted at him confused, as Bertholdt sat up, "What do you mean?"
Lukas gritted his teeth a tad bit, and scratched the temple of his head, "You know, you guys seem pretty confident with things…"
Bertholdt scratched his head, "Like with…ODM, or training?" he muttered.
"No…no" Lukas started mumbling, "With…uh…talking with girls?"
The taller teen visibly blushed a bit, while Reiner seemed shocked for a moment but composed himself, "I don't understand. Schmidt I've seen you talk with plenty of girls…?"
The shorter teen looked down almost in shame, "Not like that…like you know…"
Bert's eyes widened, "You mean like…"
"Yeah" Lukas smiled weakly, "like that."
It took a moment for Reiner to catch up but when he did the boy stumbled back in shock, "I mean that's kinda unbecoming of a soldier?" Reiner questioned albeit partially embarrassed.
"Oh?" Lukas responded scratching his head confused, "I just thought you guys would've asked out Krista or Annie by now?"
Both of the taller boys reeled back in shock, Bertholdt flying back into his bed and Reiner looking in complete shock with a nosebleed.
"Ok then?" Lukas looked puzzled, "Thanks anyway I guess?"
"I need some air."
Lukas made a beeline for the door, and as he opened it, he was met by a clear cool starry night. The boy took a deep breath noticing a figure sitting on the staircase below him.
"Oh, hey Lukas." The figure turned revealing it to be Marco.
"Hey Marco." The shorter boy motioned towards the open spot next to his friend, "May I?"
The freckled boy smiled, "Be my guest."
Lukas plopped himself down next to his taller friend. The two sat in silence for what seemed like awhile.
"Whatcha doing out here bud?" Lukas asked nonchalantly.
"You know, just enjoying the night. I like the quiet." He turned to the shorter boy, "You?"
Lukas sighed, "Needed some air."
A look of concern rose in the freckled boy's face, "Everything alright?"
The black-haired boy didn't feel the need to hold anything back from his friend, "I don't know what to do?"
Marco looked knowingly at him, "Sasha?"
"Yeah." Lukas replied, "I like her, actually I like her a lot, but I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her I have feelings."
The freckled teen seemed to mull over the problem for a time in his head, "That first day we got here, and she got you pulled into that punishment with her, did you regret that?"
"No" the boy responded flatly.
"Why is that?"
Lukas thought it over for a moment, "After the fact, I just thought it was funny more than anything else…and I got to meet Sasha for the first time."
"Hmm." Marco mused, "and do you think Sasha regretted stealing that cupcake from the officer's pantry when she found out it was your birthday last year?"
"No, I'd figure she wouldn't have tried at all in that case."
"Right" the freckled teen smiled, "and did you regret stealing her dinner to get her to talk to you?"
Lukas smiled, "No, because it got her to talk to me again." The boy looked at his taller friend, "What's your point Marco?"
His friend sighed, "Both of you took risks because you cared for each other, and the two of you understood that one another cared." Marco paused for a moment before continuing as Lukas looked at the boy inquisitively, "Despite whether or not she reciprocates your feelings, she still cares about you enough that she'd forgive you either way."
Lukas's head cleared as he looked up at the clear night sky, his mind still in deep thought. The boy could see Marco doing much the same.
"Will you regret it if you don't tell Sasha?"
Without a thought Lukas responded, "Yes."
"Then there's your answer." Marco chuckled slightly.
Another moment passed as the two sat in silence, when suddenly the shorter boy chuckled in return, "Marco you're one helluva guy, you know that right?"
The taller boy blushed a bit, "You're not too bad yourself."
Lukas looked at his friend putting a hand on the taller boy's shoulder, "And you're one helluva friend."
…
The mess hall erupted with the sounds of the 104th conversing and eating their midday meals. Sasha Braus was busy partaking in the latter, a simple spread of assorted vegetables, diced potatoes, and a loaf of bread; all with her usual vigor though she did keep an ear to the conversations of her friends. Connie who sat directly next to her today, was spinning some tale about how he found Reiner trying to hide a bloody nose the previous night, and how the boy figured that someone got a good punch in on the blonde. Jean, who was seated across from Connie argued that it was probably nothing and remarked how simple it was to give someone a bloody nose. The two got heated and Marco who sat to the side of Jean tried to deescalate the situation, while the brunette noticed Lukas who sat on the other side of Connie was unusually quiet, seemingly in deep thought as the boy picked away at one of his potato chunks.
"Well, that's strange?"
The brunette stared at the boy inquisitively before forcing herself to turn away. If she didn't think about it, about him too much, the girl from Dauper could act normally, or what she thought was normally. In truth though, that was become a harder and harder thing. Sasha and Lukas were great friends, she knew that in her heart, and that's what she wanted in the very least. The problem was that part of her that wanted more, the part of her that popped up when he smiled at her, or when he accidentally had a hand on the small of her back, or when she fell asleep on his shoulder. The brunette almost blushed at the thought of the latter, even more so when she recalled waking up as he carried her back to the girl's barracks but pretending to still be asleep until they got to the door. It was beyond frustrating, because as much as she wanted their friendship, she wanted that 'what if' even more, and she felt selfish for it, after all, she wasn't a Krista, or a Mikasa, or an Annie, she was her.
RING…RING
The bell signifying the end of the lunch period sounded, and the majority of the recruits started to dispose of their scraps of food and file out of the mess hall. Jean and Connie, still heated at one another walked off in a rush, and before Marco got up to go chase after them, the brunette saw him give a small nod towards Lukas. As Sasha herself started to get up, she observed the boy still motionless and seated. Before the girl from Dauper had a chance to question this or even fully leave the table in fact, she heard Lukas speak up.
"Hey Sash, mind holding up for a minute."
She froze for a moment but then out of concern for her friend sat back down, "Sure LuLu, what do you need?"
He turned towards her and immediately the brunette noticed Lukas's face was a bright red, "Uh…so I don't know how to say this."
"He's blushing. Why is he blushing, Lukas doesn't blush?"
Sasha was already nervous, she herself didn't know what was going on, but unconsciously she had an idea. It was her unconscious mind that nodded her head reassuring her friend to keep talking.
The teen nodded in return looking down for a moment, "And it's my first time doing this kind of thing, so I'm going to try to get to the point…"
The girl was now smiling nervously, her face adopting the same reddish hue as Lukas's.
"Why am I smiling? What's going on? What's he trying to say, I don't understand?"
"Sasha, you're special to me, and uh…" the boy was mumbling now as he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, "I have feelings for you."
The girl from Dauper felt like her whole world was standing still. Her face burned from how hard she was blushing and her hand which now lay on the table was shaking crazily out of pure nervousness. The brunette knew what she heard but she wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not. Her whole body was in tunnel vision for founder knows how long until she felt something touch her shaking hand.
"Bread?"
Lukas still staring intently at her had placed the loaf of bread from his own lunch into her open hand. She looked at the loaf as she lifted it to her gaze, and then looked at him, his greyish-green eyes showing both concern and nervousness. In that moment her hand steadied, her face seemed to cool, and her tongue seemed to untie itself. The boy looked stunned when she tore a piece off the loaf and handed it back to him.
"I have feelings for you too." Sasha replied before stuffing her piece of the loaf into her mouth, completely content with the fact that her other hand was intertwined with his beneath the table.