Chapter 10—"Bad Dreams"

She opened her eyes, but sight didn't come easily in the darkness. Damp dirt and thorny twigs sunk in her back like needling fingers as Flash's neighs echoed in the distance. The cold seemed forgotten, lost with her tears as warm wind breezed through the fallen leaves.

She tried to push herself off the ground, but her arms wouldn't move. They seemed to be a part of the darkness. A part of the earth. Suddenly, two hands circled her ankles, pulling on her legs—but not—as they traveled the length of her body until they tangled possessively in her hair.

His face was directly over her eyes.

"You're here," she gasped.

He collapsed against her, exhaustion filling his lungs, intoxicating her with his erratic heartbeat. "Ya think I'd ever let you go?"

"Yes," she admitted, no longer breathing as he pressed her down into the earth.

He spoke into her mouth, giving her air and life, "I wouldn't. Ya could run all the way back to Boston and I'd find ya again."

She covered his mouth, her fingers falling inside his lips. "Why didn't you stop her? Why? I've been you. You've been her. You push. All you have to do is push."

"Have you ever tried to push someone away after you've hit the bottom?" She sank further into the ground, losing the light in his eyes as if she were being closed in a casket. "I jumped without you, Michaela. Now I'm crashing alone."

Desperately, she reached up and pulled him down with her, retaining the glow in his eyes as the darkness of the earth surrounded them. "Is that where we are now? The bottom?"

"It's your choice. But I'm here. I'll do whatever ya want. Go. Stay. Whatever ya want."

"I want…I want…I—"

He lifted her in his arms and knew that he had never seen anything like her before in his life. His fingers stung with cold and alcohol, cutting all feeling from his veins, but his eyes were completely intoxicated by her.

She didn't have to finish. She knew what she wanted. Darkness covered them as they crashed into the earth, falling deeper than they had ever gone before.

"What do you want, Michaela?" He asked, his hand seeping past her flesh, into her blood like a traveling virus. There was no cure. He infused her, shaking her mortality, bringing her to life and death all at once.

"I want…" But his mouth covered hers, taking her air, sucking it out of her, breathing new life inside of her, a possession that boiled her blood, a heaviness pushing her heart out of her chest and throwing it up in the air so far above them that her heartbeat no longer existed.

But life continued as his heart sank into her cavern, filling up the empty void, until there was no space left between them. Suddenly, she felt his heartbeat in her chest. "This?" He asked.

Her head fell back and she reached blindly for his hands. Fingers and sinews melted together in the dirt, and her hands were no longer her own. "That?"

"What do you want, Michaela?" She wrapped her legs around the back of his knees and the joints stretched out front his flesh, taking in her ligaments until they were one.

"What?" he whispered, hovering just over her lips.

She fell into his mind and whispered without words, "I want you…All of you…Just you. You."

"All?" The blood drained from his body completely.

"Please."

And he fell into the vessel of her soul, a labyrinth of musings, hopes, wishes, doubts, fears, dreams and love. They tumbled until the entrails of his heart spread through the course of her body, and she cried out in pure exaltation as she had finally been seen and recognized, filled and warmed and comforted. And there was no more doubt. Their eyes were a part of each other. His smile melted into hers, and she laughed so brightly the ground lit from within.

"Sully," she whispered.

But he did not answer.

His voice was gone.

"Sully!" she cried out again.

She could not feel him anymore. He had fallen below her. She could not feel her own body as it began to float above her, above the ground, higher and higher, and away from him. Blinding light flashed in front of her, and the heavy weight of her feet fell hard on the ground, and suddenly, she was running for dear life, and she knew she had to find him. She had been here before.

But it was different. She was alone. The other passengers were gone.

She knew the corridor. She knew the car. She just had to reach him. Her heart rose to her throat, and suddenly, she was there, and she pushed on the door, flinging the door opened as the train whistled blew.

He wasn't there.

"Sully!" Michaela spun around, looking at the black and white caged dress, exactly as she remembered it. No, he had to be here. He had to be here somewhere. He had to say it—he had to—

Cabin after cabin—all empty. The whistled squealed like a wild cat, and Michaela ran to the end of the train, but it was already moving away.

He was moving away. On a horse. Back to Colorado Springs without her.

"Sully!" she screamed, reaching out, her body falling over the tracks. "Sully! Come back!"

"Shhh…" He put her quaking body next to the fire, watching the flickering of her eyelids as she dreamed something he could not comfort. He felt his own falling as he tangled his fingers in her hair, and whispered, "He'kotoo'e mo'on he'amo'omeehotse'o… mo'on…"

Translation: Be quiet beautiful angel…beautiful…

Two hours before

As the door slammed behind Michaela, Sully pressed against the window and watched her run towards the barn. He had to go after her, despite the finality in her words and eyes. He gripped the handle of the door and flung it open. But as the cold gale flew through homestead, Brian's piercing scream pulled him back inside.

"Ma! Ma! Don't let 'em get me, Ma!" Sully quickly stumbled back inside as Brian continued to cry out, blatantly ignoring Catherine standing thunderstruck in the center of the room.

Before Colleen could reach him, Sully was already lifting him out of his tangled sheets. "Hey, hey… I got ya, Brian… I got ya…"

Brian searched the darkness and found him. "Sully?"

"Yeah, son… It's me. I'm here."

"Don't go away, Sully!" Brian cried, flinging his arms around Sully's neck.

"I'm not… I'm not…" Sully cradled the boy's head instinctively, knowing that Michaela probably knew what to do for bad dreams better than he did. "What's got ya so upset?"

Brian tightened his hold on Sully before he whispered, "I…I dreamed about him."

Sully frowned and pushed Brian back, finding his teary eyes. "About who, buddy?"

Brian sighed, blowing air out of his lips, before admitting his secret, "The Indian… I saw him outside of school this morning."

Sully paused carefully, unsure of how to proceed with Brian's dream. "Ya know you don't gotta be afraid of the Cheyenne, Brian."

Brian shook his head assertively, freezing Sully. "He was different… His eyes were red and his body was shakin' and he had a long blade and… and… he looked right at me."

"And through your soul," Catherine whispered, as she stepped diffidently into the cubby hole. Sully turned around and met her eyes unwillingly, and for the first time in his life, he couldn't run away. He had to look at her and take responsibility for his actions. For her actions. For their actions. A boy was clinging to him, depending on him, and he had already failed him without him knowing.

"Yeah," Brian whispered, looking at Catherine's troubled eyes. "That's exactly what it was like."

"We must go now, Sully." Catherine flew from the curtains and ran into the living room.

"What!" Sully lifted Brian into his arms and followed her.

Colleen stood up, confusion now pressing her as she wandered in the room behind them. "What's… what's going on, Sully?"

"Sully!" Matthew slammed through the front door out of breath, bending down to his knees.

"Matthew!" Sully nearly dropped Brian as the young man collapsed before him.

"Matthew!" Colleen shrieked as she knelt down beside him.

Matthew swallowed, trying to catch his breath, as he spoke in rapid succession, "Dr. Mike j-just ran off on Flash! She said she didn't want you to follow but I couldn't—"

Sully put Brian down next to Colleen and squeezed Matthew's shoulder. "You did the right thing, Matthew."

Sully grabbed his tomahawk and leather jacket and moved swiftly towards the door, but he was stopped by a determined hand. "I go with you," Catherine said clearly.

"Please don't touch me—" Sully growled, causing the children to gasp at his uncharacteristic, harsh reply.

Matthew watched the icy blue stares pass between them as she didn't let go of his hand. His chest tightened immediately. Something had happened here tonight, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what it was that could make Sully and Michaela act so rash and brazen.

"I have to—" Catherine said determinedly.

Sully threw her hand down, his emotion getting the best of him as he snapped at her in front of wide eyes. "She's gone! Don't ya understand? She's gone and it's our fault! No… It's my fault."

Catherine looked down, a tinge of embarrassment coloring her face as his voice hit her. "I help find her. I bring back and make right."

"Just stay inside, Catherine! There's nothin' you can do!" Sully heaved open the door, and the cold pushed Catherine back inside as she tried to reach out for him.

"But—"

"I said NO!" Sully's voice cracked, creating new splinters in the doorway, making it unapproachable for Catherine. She sank down beside it, tears filling her eyes. He would need her; she knew he would. Something in her heart told her all was not well—that he could not find Dr. Mike alone. What had she done to her friend? The spirits were uneasy with her; they would not show mercy to the brokenhearted tonight.

Matthew watched her uneasily, and timidly knelt down beside her. He had hardly spoken to her since she had arrived. In all honestly, he was scared of her. But, with Sully gone, he had to be the man of the house and figure out what exactly was going on. "Catherine? What is it?"

Catherine closed her eyes, seeing those red and white eyes, swirling and reaching out, always reaching out, needing such tremendous help that she could never give. "Brian's dream… I know dream. I know eyes like that."

Matthew frowned, not understanding her. Brian stepped forward, eyes wide. He whispered, "He's real?"

Catherine nodded distantly. "Porcupine Bear… He was Chief of our tribe. Troubled man. I afraid."

Matthew looked between Brian and Catherine. Colleen reached for Brian's hand, thinking immediately of Dr. Mike and Sully out there in the cold night. She looked towards the window, only seeing a white mass of air, and said with impulsive hope, "But…but he died in the massacre. They all did, right?"

Catherine covered her face dejectedly, sudden grief overwhelming her. She whispered, "Yes."

Instinctively, Matthew took her into his arms.

"Then who did I see?" Brian whispered, breaking the silence and asking the question no one else dared to ask.