Chapter 13—"Forgotten Secrets"

"A soldier?" Michaela asked quietly, trying to keep her voice even as she witnessed this amazing girl.

Smiles No More narrowed her eyes, seeing throw the disheveled woman. "You do not believe me."

"No, I believe you." Michaela smiled quickly. "I'm simply surprised, that's all."

"What are you?" Smiles No More lifted the gun, eyeing the long, empty barrel.

Michaela eyed the small hands on the black metal and admitted, "I'm a doctor."

Smiles No More raised her eyebrows, almost impressed, but then lifted the gun in the air and fired recklessly into the rock above them. Michaela covered her head, prepared for the gun to backfire, but it wedged deeply into the sediments of the dark rock. Smiles No More's voice suddenly broke calmly through the silence, "Then why can't I be a soldier?"

Michaela uncovered her face and tried to take a breath, but it quivered. "Fair enough. What do you want from me, Smiles No More?"

The girl looked around, almost thoughtfully, and then turned to Michaela, her eyes transforming into a child's again. "Will you tell me a story?"

Michaela couldn't think straight. She nodded, not knowing what to do besides go along with this creature. "Alright. Come here then."

"Why?" She asked defensively.

Michaela shrugged and thought of someone miles and miles away who could handle any situation thrown at her. "I don't want my words to get lost in the fire. Did anyone ever say that to you before?"

"No," she said skeptically.

Smiles No More caught her breath as Michaela closed her eyes suddenly, hearing warm giggles and feeling cold feet under the covers. "I first heard it from my oldest sister. I used to crawl in the bed with her late at night in our cold, cold house in Boston and we would tell each other stories while the fire was roaring at the end of the bed."

"You're from Boston?" Smiles No More asked as she sank down in front of Michaela, her interest peeked.

"I am," Michaela whispered, her heart sinking as words crashed back from places she could hardly remember and places she didn't want to—We won't say I love you…Come home and start your own family…I'll be your mother…You can always come home…I wish you never came to Boston!

"Why did you leave your big sister?" Smiles No More tugged on her loose hair, pulling her instantly back into reality.

"Oh…She left me first. She got married and began having children of her own. I was still a little girl," Michaela stated factually. Her childhood was like a toy box she never opened. She didn't know how to talk about those faded images, especially the ones that didn't make any sense.

"And you wouldn't leave your mother," Smiles No More said, as if she knew. Michaela glanced at the girl, seeing the pretender in action.

"I… was very close to my father," she said, not qualifying her assumptions.

Smiles No More's shoulder's tightened and she scooted closer to Michaela as a breeze flew through the cavern. "Yes… a father is hard to leave."

"Do you have a father, Smiles No More?" Michaela watched her tense body language and tentatively reached out, placing her hand around the girl's shoulder. She didn't pull away but also didn't answer. "Smiles No More?"

Smiles No More turned towards Michaela, hiding tears inside her eyes as she gripped the gun weakly in her hand. "I want you to tell me a story now."

Michaela turned towards the fire and closed her eyes again, trying to pretend she was with her sister, trying to wish the gun away as she held the girl loosely in her arms. "Once upon a time…there was a brave little girl…who was all alone in the world…"

"Snowbird!" The young man came bounding into her tepee, bedizened in war paint that frightened her beyond words.

"My brother!" She covered her stomach, thankful that their parents weren't alive to see him like this.

"We are leaving now. You must come with us." He held out his hand for hers.

"You know I cannot go," She said defiantly, turning away from him.

His jaw clenched and he kneeled in front of her. "How can you stay with a man who cannot protect you?"

She turned over and smeared the white and black paint off of his face with her clean hand. "I do not wish to be a part of a war party. I stay with Cloud Dancing."

He stood up and marched to the opening of her tent, rejecting her. "You are making a mistake."

"Never. Take care of yourself, little brother."

Sully watched as she jumped off the horse where he had fallen before and groaned inwardly. "What are ya doin', Catherine? I've been here before—it's nothin' but a dead end."

Catherine ignored him and began ripping at stubborn branches. "That is what he wants you to believe."

Sully tied his horse on a branch and walked beside her. He felt completely inadequate right now. This woman whom he had saved was now saving him, helping him save the woman he loved. He took his tomahawk out of his belt and began chopping at the branches. "I don't understand."

Catherine eyed him as he beat down the thick branches, his face clinched in unhinged frustration. "He may be a weak man, but he is a brilliant soldier. He knows how to hide from us."

"Yeah," Sully huffed.

"What is it?" She asked.

His arm dropped as he stared ahead at the unending tunnel of trees. "This is the first time… I haven't been able to save her."

"And you think only that makes you a man?" Catherine stepped past him and ripped a giant branch off of a tree.

"I don't know what it makes me." Sully watched her put all of her body weight on each branch, tearing it off like she was a soldier in battle.

Suddenly, he heard a crying neigh in the distance. Sully gripped his tomahawk and whispered, "Flash!"

Elizabeth leaned her forehead against her desk, twirling the ink pen in her hand, unsure of what to write. What she could write.

She placed her hand over her baby girl's chest and felt the rise and fall of her tiny heartbeat. She was a beautiful baby, by far the most beautiful of all of her girls—although Elizabeth would never tell her so.

Selfishly, she lifted the sleeping girl in her arms, and the girl shook her arms in protest as wakefulness rushed in too quickly. Sad little wise eyes stared into hers in the night, and she knew her daughter somehow understood what was happening. The baby let out a single cry, and Elizabeth soothed her, guilt overwhelming her suddenly.

"I don't want you to cry. I don't want you to miss me. You'll forget about me. Then maybe one day you'll be able to forgive me, Michaela." Elizabeth kissed her daughter's forehead. "We won't say I love you. That way our hearts will never be broken."

"Mrs. Quinn?" Elizabeth jumped up, unable to focus on the ever present Martha. She collapsed back on her head, unable to get the lost images out of her mind.

"What is it, Martha?" Elizabeth planted a smile on her face.

"Ya called for me, m'am."

"Oh… that's right," Elizabeth said half-aware.

"Did… did you need something, m'am?" Elizabeth stared down at the unfinished letter and swallowed.

"Yes. I need you to go to the train station and book the next train to Baltimore."

"It's time, Cloud Dancing. It's time." Snowbird curled to her side, as the contraction racked through her body.

"What?" He sat up quickly, dazed by her words, but he quickly came back to reality as he felt her tight grip on his hand.

"The baby…The baby…She is coming—" She said calmly, lovingly, as sweat began to cover her face like bedizened pearls.

"I am ready." Cloud Dancing got up quickly but stopped suddenly as he realized that he needed more than the spirits to be with him in this moment.

Snowbird smiled knowingly, "Are you?"

He kneeled in front of her, joining her hands with his. "No. What if I cannot—"

She nodded, catching her breath. "You will. You are a great medicine man. I know you can do this. I trust you."

"…and suddenly the girl was happy again as she found her place in the world and finally knew…there was nothing to be afraid of," Michaela finished as she stared off, nearly mesmerized by the fire. However, Smiles No More was transfixed by Michaela, her gun forgotten in her lap.

"But what about the boy? Did she let him back inside the tepee?" She asked eagerly.

"I don't know, Smiles No More," Michaela sighed.

The girl frowned, completely dissatisfied. "That is a terrible ending, Doctor."

Michaela looked down at the girl. She smiled genuinely at her. "I'm sorry."

Smiles No More shrugged and leaned closer to her, wrapping one arm around her. "You are warm though."

Michaela slowly watched her eyes faded as Smiles No More cuddled into the side of her body. Gently, she leaned her head against Smiles No More's head. "So are you."

The girl closed her eyes and muttered under her breath, "I wish I had a mother like you."

Michaela pulled the child closer as she fell asleep in her arms. Michaela had never met such a dangerously sweet child in her life. Something had to be done, but more than anything, this girl needed help. She looked at the discarded gun resting in the girl's lap and knew exactly what she had to do. She would have to worry about winning the girl's trust later. Stealthily, she reached down and lifted the gun away from Smiles No More.

"Put her gun down," A loaded voice echoed from the opening of the cave. It was Porcupine Bear. His own rifle was aimed at Smiles No More's heart.

Michaela instinctively pulled the girl closer as he stalked towards them. "She thinks you're harmless."

He shrugged wantonly, "A child's imagination sees what it wants."

He kneeled down in front of her and took the gun out of her hands. He ran the barrel from her forehead to the top of her breast. Michaela reached up and grabbed the gun, stopping him from going any further. "You don't even know me," she whispered, glaring beyond his eyes.

His eyes swam for a moment and cleared. He smiled as he leaned closer to her. "I see that now. You are still a beautiful woman."

Michaela's entire body froze. I wish you never came to Boston! Oh God… Where was he? She closed her eyes, and she was running down that corridor again, but the people were gone, everyone was gone—

"Please don't—"

I wish you never came to Boston! Black spiders crawling down her dress, trapping her on that train….She would forever be trapped in Boston, only Boston…

"Sad, sad eyes…"

I wish you never came to Boston! Empty, all empty, every room empty, the children left behind in Boston, and Sully, no where… No where… No where…

"Don't—"

Suddenly, she heard the cries of her horse, her Flash… And there was the last cabin…

"Shhh… Not a sound…"

Because? Because I love you!

"NO! NO! NO!"

I love you too…

"SULLY!" She cried as she finally said yes.

"MICHAELA!" Sully screamed as he flew through the air towards them.