A/N: 50,000 WORDS! Damn this story is gonna be long lol. Enjoy the chapter while I go watch the final episode that'll come out this year...:(. See you guys in the next one! ~Scipias
CHAPTER 15 – THE BATTLE FOR TROST: DOUBTS
CLANG!
The muffled impact of the broken blade Mikasa had tossed away from Armin sounded over the relative silence of the immediate area. The initial shock of seeing the abnormal titan demolish its own kind had now worn off and the group was brought back to the reality of their situation. The black-haired girl had indeed run out of gas, to which Armin had graciously switched out his own tanks to remedy, albeit with the intention of not being able to get back himself and intending to use the already spent blade as an alternative to a more gruesome end via titan.
"W-Why…?" the blonde muttered, his face betraying a horrified look at his friend's actions.
"Armin…" Mikasa replied softly, leaning to the teen's level and softly grasping his hand, "I won't leave you here."
The two stood up, Armin not logically seeing the reason why he shouldn't be left behind, "B-But you can't maneuver through a gang of titans with someone slowing you down…" the blonde tried to argue.
"We'll manage…" Lukas added giving the black-haired girl beside him the side eye, "We came back for Mikasa, sure as hell not leaving you here too. This isn't a one for one trade, no one else gets left behind, we've lost enough people today…" the teen put emphasis on that last part.
"Yeah, let's go!" Connie spoke, grabbing Armin's hand, "…besides you weigh next to nothing, it shouldn't be any trouble carrying you!" the bald-headed boy tried to joke.
The three of them started running down the rooftop, Armin in tow, but before reaching the end of the building the blonde spoke out in some urgency following another scream from the abnormal titan now further in the distance.
"Wait!" he shouted, throwing off Connie's hand, "Listen! I have an idea."
The three others turned to the bookish teen confused, "An idea?" Connie reiterated questioning him.
"You three will have to carry it out, so it's your call." Armin continued, "I know this might sound crazy but…can't we use that titan?" he motioned off towards the abnormal in the distance.
"Use the titan?" Connie inquired with shock.
"Yeah…" Lukas squinted at his comrade, "What are you getting at Armin?"
"The abnormal…it shows no interest in us, so it might be possible to lead it to Headquarters." Armin answered his tone becoming more resolved, "If it kills the other titans there, we might all be saved!"
Mikasa and Lukas seemed to consider the idea while Connie retorted, "Lead it…how the hell do you plan on doing that?"
"It's most likely fighting on instinct. "Armin turned towards the abnormal, "You, Lukas, and Mikasa will have to kill the titans around it…that'll make it search for new titans to kill. It'll naturally be drawn towards HQ."
The bald-headed teen looked concerningly at the blonde, "We can't risk our lives on a hunch!"
"But if it works…" Armin replied, "we might be able to kill all the titans that are attacking Headquarters."
Connie seemed to mull over the idea for a moment but before he replied, Lukas spoke in his stead.
"Hmmm." The black-haired boy grunted sweeping back his hair, "Not the first suicidal thing we've done today." He said sarcastically.
Mikasa not showing any change in emotion ignored the remark, "I think it's worth a try."
Connie surprised at this turned towards them both, "What?! Are you guys serious?"
Mikasa unfazed replied, "I'd rather take that chance then wait to die. I'm game for Armin's idea"
Lukas sighed, shrugging his shoulders, "If there's a chance this helps us all see the end of today then I'll give it a shot."
Armin looked as much surprised at the two of them as he was relieved, until Connie also spoke up, "Fighting with a titan against titans?!" he questioned.
"Yes. Exactly." Mikasa replied flatly.
Lukas patted his bald-headed friend on the back, "This day keeps getting better and better doesn't it?"
"We'd look pretty stupid if it doesn't work." Connie remarked.
Lukas held a tiny smirk back, "Well then you should feel right at home Baldo!"
Connie gave his friend an annoyed glance before Armin replied to them all, "But if it does work, we can save everyone!"
"Then we're all in?" Mikasa asked the group.
Lukas nodded quietly, while Connie shrugged hesitantly, "Ok…okay fine…"
Armin nodded resolutely, and he Connie, and Lukas started to jog back down the rooftop until the latter felt a hand on his shoulder. Lukas turned to see Mikasa looking at him with the calm demeanor that was usually the go to for the girl.
"You're angry with me." She stated flatly.
Lukas neither confirmed or denied this, only replying calmly, "My Dad once told me that taking responsibility is having the means to look after your people, and the will to see it though. You took responsibility but you didn't see it though and people died where they might have survived because of it."
Mikasa looked down having already acknowledge the massive error that she had made in leading a blind charge that she neither had the want or the will to finish but to be honest the thought of Eren's death still haunted her mind. "I know." She replied quietly.
The girl expected some sort of anger from Lukas but at that response the teen just nodded quietly, "I won't assume to know how you're feeling right now but also remember that the lot of us followed you out of trust and respect. I'm just asking you to remember those who didn't make it too."
The black-haired girl thought over the words for a minute before replying, "Would you have done the same? For Jean? Or for Sasha?"
Lukas looked off to the distance for a moment contemplating the girl's question. He turned back to Mikasa and spoke, "Would I have led my comrades in a suicide charge? No. Would I have tried to kill as many of those monsters as I could while I was in a blind rage until they eventually killed me? Yes, probably."
"Hmmm" Mikasa hummed at his response, "That's the second time today a Schmidt has tried to give me advice."
Lukas nodded once more, the hint of a small smile shown on his face now, "Yeah?" he uttered, "Figure you must be sick of it?"
"No." Mikasa replied softly, nodding in disagreement before the two ran off.
…
"We move now!"
Sasha Braus barely heard the command over the carnage of the site that was unfolding below them. She had grown up a hunter and was well aware of the cycle of life that perpetuated hers and her family's survival growing up. Killing in that view was only meant as a means of that survival, it was never excessive, and it was never wasteful. What the brunette saw below though was the epitome of the opposite, a sick role reversal which now saw them as the prey. The titans, their hunters, not hunting out of necessity or even sport but to seemingly just kill, and they did it brutally. Sasha stood horrified as one of her comrades was being consumed below, the guttural noises of flesh and bone being grinded and then swallowed echoing through the air.
"We storm Headquarters now!" the voice yelling again, it was Jean.
She seemed to register the command this time, but the girl didn't move. The events of the day had flooded her mind and now it wandered, worrying about a million things which couldn't have bogged her down at a more unfortunate moment. Sasha thought about all the people they had already lost that day; Thomas, Mina, Eren, and all the countless others, all gone. Even now, they had lost a significant number on the charge towards Headquarters, and they weren't even there yet, so who knew who if any would end up at their goal?
Sasha felt a firm grip on her shoulder, breaking out of her daze and seeing Marco looking back at her, a look of concern but seriousness plastering her friends face.
"Sasha, we have to go!" the teen told her with an urgency.
"Yeah…" she mumbled, "of course…"
The two bolted off, the last of the soldiers to have hopped off the building but still in line with the rest of their comrades as they rushed towards the Headquarters.
"I hope Armin, Connie, and Lukas found Mikasa alright…" Marco mentioned as they hopped the gap over to another building, "We could sure use them once we get to HQ."
Another concern remerged within the brunette's head. It had been a fair bit of time since that trio had split off to recover their fallen comrade, and while the loss of any of her comrades would have concerned the girl, this worried her even more. Armin and Mikasa were both kind people and good friends, Connie while having become one of her best friends was now the closest thing Sasha had to a brother, and Lukas, it was odd, she couldn't imagine the teen not being in her life anymore.
Because as long as you're here…that's enough for me too.
The group of cadets glided through the air with their ODM, drawing ever closer to the HQ. Some of their outliers were picked off by titans as they rushed past the many city blocks but even Sasha knew that to hesitate now would be to resign herself to death. Still among the death and the blood rush of the situation, the brunette though about those words she told Lukas not an hour before. The brunette had never been one to live more than one day at a time, and the whole exchange she had had with Lukas had really questioned her perspective.
They continued down the street, the brunette almost horrified as a titan grabbed at Jean's leg as she passed but was quickly relieved as the teen quickly cut through the monster's fingers and freed himself, catching up with herself and Marco. Sasha would be lying if she said she wasn't upset by the thought that Lukas hadn't told her about the issues he was having. At this point, she trusted her boyfriend and although his excuse was solid enough, how was he supposed to explain something he didn't understand himself, the real thing that saved her opinion was his admission of fear to her.
I didn't want to worry you again because…I'm scared
While Lukas was about as hardheaded as they come, he always gave everyone an even footing when meeting them and was always receptive with helping people which was one of the many reasons she liked him. At the same time, he was reserved when it came to anything that concerned him personally which is why when Lukas admitted he was scared to her, Sasha knew that the teen had to have trusted as much as she did him. What did it mean that they trusted one another in that way? What did it mean that she thought of them as a couple now and not as individuals? What would it mean after today or in the future if they both survived? Or if she died? Or if Lukas died?
The thought of the latter created a cesspool of dread in her gut which must have spread to her face because a few moments later Jean shouted at the brunette from alongside her.
"Sasha…keep your shit together, we're just about there!" the seriousness of the situation causing the teen to use her actual name.
The shout flew over her head though as the thought of the boy she cared dearly about dying tried to plant itself deeper within her head. Sasha could hear herself breathlessly utter his name, even the small utterance itself a cracked mumbling mess.
"HEY!" Jean strode up beside her as they landed upon another building, yelling still to get her attention "Lukas will be fine!" he continued, the mention of the name fully garnering the brunette's attention, "Fucker is too stubborn to die!" he scoffed.
The reassurance seemed to pull Sasha out of her daze, and she nodded to the teen. Jean nodded back in confirmation and continued running her and Marco alongside him. What remained of the group had nearly made it to the HQ, only about a block more remained.
"Jean!" Marco called to him after a moment, "Thanks too you, we made it through!"
"What?" the gray-haired teen questioned in astonishment.
"You did it, man!"
"Yeah!" Sasha added composing herself once more, "You're not too bad at this leading stuff."
"We told you!" Marco continued, "You have the makings of a leader, Jean!"
The teen shrugged off the compliments though, "Who the hells to say?
The three made it to the end of the last building before hurriedly swinging off. Avoiding a few titans in their flight, Sasha saw Jean curse as another of their comrades was grabbed midair. They continued and as they reached the height of their swing all unhooked and guided their bodies to land through various windows on the upper floor of the structure. Everybody left braced themselves, breaking through the glass would hurt, but they would survive.
…
CRASH!
The sound of shattering glass accompanied the cadets as no more than 10 of them crashed through the windows of the HQ within a few moments of each other. Sasha was no sooner brushing shards of glass off her then she noticed Marco trying to hold back Jean after the latter decked a member of the Quartermasters Corps. An argument ensued but didn't last long as a piece of an exterior wall on their floor exploded opening sending one of the cadets flying. Two titans peered in and the cadets who didn't flee, peered at the monsters with abject horror. The brunette felt like an eternity passed be she heard a reaction from Jean, who was closer to the breach than herself, and not a second later a giant fist collided with the two titans knocking them from the hole in the wall.
"What the hell is that?" Jean exclaimed as Sasha heard a resounding scream from outside the breach.
CRASH!
"Mikasa!" Jean sounded surprised.
Sasha glanced over to see her aforementioned friend along with Lukas, Connie and Armin land through another previously intact window, the latter being carried in by her bald-headed friend.
"That was close…" Connie exclaimed tapping one of his tanks, "I was running low on fumes…"
Lukas wiped his brow, "Yeah, we really thread the needle on that one, didn't we?" he turned to Jean who was still stunned, "Glad you missed us too horseface…"
"Yeah… we just barely made!" Connie replied to the taller teen.
"Y-You're…alive!" Jean seemed to have not heard his friends instead walking towards the black-haired girl.
Sasha saw Mikasa smile softly at Jean before she herself ran fun tilt at the group nearly tackling the black-haired boy who was shrugging off some glass. Caught unawares, the impact took the two to the ground and Lukas grunted in discomfort.
"Nice to see you too Sash!" the teen replied not even having to look at his 'attacker'.
The two got up and Sasha hugged the teen once more, this time visibly more vigorously than earlier, "I thought you died Lulu!" she exclaimed before releasing him.
"Glad you missed us too Sasha!" Connie exclaimed jokingly copying his friend's response from before then turning to the blonde teen still hunched on the ground, "We did it, Armin! Your strategy worked!" he continued slapping the teen on his back unknowingly rough.
The brunette rolled her eyes at Connie before Lukas spoke up again, "Yeah Armin, that was one helluva call!" his voice was positive.
"Listen, everybody!" Connie yelled, garnering everyone's attention in the area, "That titan is a unique variant that goes on titan killing sprees!" he pointed at the abnormal through the breach in the wall, "What's more, it shows no interest in us! If we're quick in using the right way, we can escape from here!"
"A titan as our savior?" Jean questioned scoffing, "Only in your dreams…"
"It's no dream." Mikasa interrupted, "Regardless of what it is, we need to keep that Titan fighting as long as possible."
"Yeah, add that to the list of weird shit that's happening today!" Lukas added, "That thing is beating the shit out of all those monsters."
"No way!" Sasha exclaimed in disbelief looking at the two.
"Face it." The black-haired girl continued, "He's our best chance at survival."
…
"You're ok then?" Sasha questioned Lukas as the two hunched up against a wall. Those cadets who had survived the day so far along with the remaining members of the Quartermasters Corps had retreated to an inner portion of the Headquarters, a room that housed the shaft by which the equipment lift fed to the lower levels of the structure. Most of them rested, waiting for what next move they could make to possibly escape from this hell.
"Yeah sweetie…" Lukas sighed, "I'll survive, and like you said, whatever is going on in my head will help me do that for the time being. Are you ok?"
The brunette blushed a tiny bit at the teens use of a new pet name, but quickly sobered up thinking about the question, "What's going to happen to us if we survive today?" she answered.
Lukas assumed she meant the two of them as a couple, and as much as he wanted to sit there and enjoy this quick respite from the hell that the day had been, he knew this question needed an answer, "Well, we'll both join the Military Police still, I figure I'll get the opportunity to kiss you at some point, and we'll get the chance to see where this thing goes."
"I'm serious…" Sasha replied even though she liked the though of what he said.
"So am I." Lukas replied flatly.
"I know you want to join the Scouts…" the brunette spoke again after a brief silence.
"Are you mad at me for that?"
"No." she squeezed his hand tightly, "You want to help people, help humanity like your pa did. I can't be mad at you for that."
Lukas nodded, "Today did put a twist on everything though. I figure it's all more complicated now…"
"Yeah" Sasha mumbled a reply, "I reckon this is a conversation we can continue if we survive today."
"I look forward to it."
"You do?" the brunette looked confused.
"Mhmmm" Lukas smiled, "If we're having that conversation that means you're still alive and well…I can't imagine life without you at this point…" he shrugged almost looking embarrassed at the statement.
Sasha blushed furiously at him, looking down, but also entrapping his hand with hers, albeit as vigorously as a vice grip.
…
Lukas posed silently; his body perched on one of the many rafters situated above the storage facility. Along with seven other of his comrades, Mikasa, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Jean, Connie, and Sasha, they laid in wait to pounce on the eight 5-meter titans scattered through the floor below. Armin, who was quickly proving his mind was worth its weight in gold had masterminded another idea to clear the titans from the facility allowing everyone to refill their tanks and finally escape up the wall. He, Marco and a dozen or so more cadets would lower themselves via the equipment lift armed with the Military Police issued one shot muskets and attract the 8 titans so that all would be concentrated in one place. The group would then fire point blank at the titans blinding the creatures for long enough that he and the cadets positioned above them could finish them off with a killing blow to the nape.
He heard the lift creak to a stop and the thudding of slow footsteps approaching the source of the sound. The room was dimly lit, but the teen saw the bright red figures of the 8 titans converged on his comrades through his use of the haze. Even from distance, he could hear the scared mumbling of some of the cadets in the lift along with the collective cocking of all their rifles. Lukas steadied himself, resolute in what he had to do.
"Fire!" Marco screamed from the middle of the room, the sound of two dozen rifles going off filling the air.
Each one of the eight rose, running swiftly across the rafters almost looking synchronized as they all leaped towards their targets. Lukas glided through the air towards his intended target and as sure as he could ever be swung his blades at the thing's nape. He fell into a roll, knowing he had felt himself slice through the nape, but looking up to double check was confirmed in seeing his titan having fallen to the ground.
He glanced around to see that most of the titans had been killed in a similar fashion but realized in horror that the titan next to his and the one next to that, the former having been Sasha's target and the latter, Connie's, were still alive, both strikes having missed the nape.
"Sasha and Connie need help!" he heard Bertholdt yell.
"Help them now!" Jean yelled in return.
Before he could even register their words, Lukas had made up the distance and not thinking to dispatch the titan, only to clear Sasha out of the way, shoulder checked the girl just in time as the 5-meter bent over, maw wide open.
The next moment seemed to go by in slow motion, as Lukas registered a pressure on his arm and realized the appendage was halfway up the titan's mouth. It was mere moments from tearing his body part off and oddly enough the teen felt some sort of peace knowing he saved the brunette. A moment after this realization though he felt a pulse run through his body once more, a feeling he thought he felt earlier that day when he faced down the 10-meter titan. His hypothesis was verified when heard the high-pitched screaming once more, this time though very obviously coming from the titan who had now stopped closing its jaw. Lukas confused but grateful his arm still seemed to be functioning fine made a motion to pull the appendage out while at the same time seeing Mikasa appear from behind the creature slicing at its nape and killing it. Falling to the side and very nearly missing getting crushed by the titans falling corpse, time seemed to return to normal as the teen laid on the ground, perfectly intact and nothing wrong apparently but another nosebleed.
"Fuck…" Lukas sighed chuckling.
The teen saw Mikasa appeared above him, offering him a hand "Are you alright?"
"Yeah…appreciate the assist…but honestly thank you" Lukas replied genuinely as the girl easily lifted him to his feet.
The girl nodded and Lukas noticed that Annie had done much the same to Connie's titan.
"Lukas!" Sasha screamed, colliding into the teen once more "You save my life!"
Lukas looked down at his girlfriends upset form. It was obvious she was fine, but he still asked, "Are you hurt?"
Sasha buried her head into his chest, and the teen could feel some snot and tears soak into his shirt, "Thanks to you, no!" she squeezed him tighter.
"Good…" he smiled softly, chuckling "Then get up, we need to gas up and get out of here."
"But…I gave up to the titan…" she whimpered, "I almost let you get eaten…how can I…"
Lukas swiped a chunk of bread he had found upstairs from his pocket and pushed it into her mouth. Sasha seemed to calm a touch registering the food that her boyfriend had just gifted her. With that Lukas looked down at her.
"Did you not think I meant it when I said I couldn't imagine life without you?" he laughed.
"Stop joking around!" Sasha replied through bites of the bread, "You almost died because of me!"
"I'm not joking…" Lukas said quietly looking at the decaying corpse of the titan beside them, "…and I didn't die…"
…
"Well…looks like it's got nothing left." Jean commented as they watched the abnormal titan fall to the ground finally done in.
"That was one hell of a fight though…" Lukas replied from beside him, "saved our asses at least."
Jean nodded turning away, "Haven't you all seen enough? Let's get out of here!"
Lukas heard his friend speak but didn't register the words as he gazed in astonishment at the steam decaying corpse of the titan.
"That can't be a…" he muttered.
"That's impossible…"
"Mikasa!" he heard Armin call out to the girl as she flew towards the corpse.
He heard a cry, it was Mikasa crying, holding what seemed to be a…a body jutting out of the titan.
"That's…that's EREN…"