A/N: Winter 2022, could mean January, could mean November/December. Things to worry about. Hope all those who celebrate Easter had a good one, and all those who might not, had a good first Sunday without a weekly AOT episode. Hope everyone enjoys the chapter and see you in the next one! ~Scipias
CHAPTER 16 – THE BATTLE FOR TROST: LULL
TAP…TAP…TAP…TAP…TAP
Lukas Schmidt slowly tapped his finger on the wooden table he was seated at. Noon had turned into early afternoon as he, Jean, Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt sat or stood underneath a shaded overhang, separated from most the other cadets and Garrison members. The five of them having had a front row seat to a concerning and downright unnatural display that none were privy to talk about, even if they hadn't been sworn to silence the minute, they got over the wall.
"Hey Jean…" Ymir called out to his friend who sat beside him, "Don't tell me Mikasa got hurt?"
The girl had been in discussion with both Krista and Connie, none of whom had caught eyes on the incident, all having scaled the wall before them.
"Yeah, what the hell happened?" Connie added, his voice more concerned than the female.
Lukas turned slightly in his seat to see Jean's response. His friend wore a tired and somber face much like his own, the revelation of the last hour having stacked up the ever-growing number of haunts that day, especially for the two friends. Either one sensed the subtle dread in one another but there wasn't much to be said either way.
The taller teen took a swing from his waterskin, "We were ordered to maintain secrecy. I can't tell you." He said simply.
"Ordered to maintain secrecy?" Ymir questioned, "What do you mean?"
Jean looked down giving a slight scoff, "Not like it's gonna be a secret for long. All of humanity will know soon enough. If, that is, human beings are still around…" he finished darkly.
For once, Lukas didn't try to curb his friend's blunt attitude. As much bravado he had willed up to survive to this point, it was wearing thin now, and with all that had happened to this point, he half shared Jean's outlook.
As soon as they had been released by the Garrison, Lukas had wanted to find Sasha. After their conversation in the headquarters, Lukas wanted to reassure her that he'd join the Military Police if she insisted on it despite Sasha calling him out on his desire to join the Scouts. The bond between them had grown exponentially and even though their relationship was definitely different than his and Jean's, he felt they were on par with each other, he had been truthful in saying he couldn't imagine life without the brunette. To be honest, Lukas had already entertained the thought of what their relationship might become, he was head over heels for the brunette, hell he jumped in front of a titan for the girl. There was no thought to it too, and he knew there didn't have to be, he'd gladly die in Sasha's stead.
The only thing that concerned him though was his demeanor to a near death experience. Provided, it had been the second one that day, Lukas had been more scared of the insanity going on in his own body than he had been of dying. In fact, he felt almost calm during it, content that he had done his best to protect those he'd cared about and did his part to help humanities progression. That's another thing that scared him too, the notion contradicted the idea that he could be happy creating a future with Sasha, Jean, and the rest of his friends within the walls. Despite all the horrors they'd experience that day, the nagging voice in his head was still there.
He wanted to see Sasha; Lukas knew she was horrified at the fact that she had almost gotten him killed despite it being ultimately his choice, but he wanted to comfort her all the same. Lukas knew though that the girl would sense any doubts he had the moment he walked up, her senses were spot on when it came to that, and he wouldn't put her through that if he could help it.
"Oh, thank goodness you boys are alright!"
Lukas looked up from the table, having heard the familiar voice, and Jean copied the action, both seeing an older woman with black hair not running at them but hurriedly walking towards them either way.
"Mom?" Lukas barely had time to sputter out, the two teens hardly having gotten up from their seats before Rhia Schmidt, who stood at least a head shorter than the two, bear hugged the two boys with an intensity that surprised them.
While something like this was completely out of character for the woman, Lukas understood the relief, even more when he heard his mother trying to keep herself from sniffling. The son silently hugged his mother in return while Jean, momentarily having lost his pessimistic attitude, also hugged the woman who had been much like a second mom to him.
"We're alright Ma." Lukas muttered softly after a moment.
The elder Schmidt didn't speak for a few more moments, releasing the teens and composing herself before looking up at them, "I know…I know." She nodded looking down at her hand which Lukas noticed was holding two folded up pieces of paper, "Well before I get ahead of myself, some of the townsfolk were looking for some updates, so I offered to bring some letters up to their loved ones."
"Looks like you only got a couple left." Jean commented.
Rhia nodded somberly, "I've been able to deliver a few, but…many don't have any recipients anymore. I left any I could with the remains if there's any left but otherwise…I've disposed of the rest, I doubt the families will want them anymore…" she sighed holding up the final two, "These two are for a couple boys in the 104th, so I figured I'd find out if you two were ok?"
The two teens nodded, Lukas replying this time, "Well I suppose we could give you a hand Ma, who are they for?"
Rhia picked at the first letter, "You two remember Tommy Wagner from school, right? His mother asked me to give him this."
Jean pinched the bridge of his nose softly while Lukas glanced down for a moment, the former the first one to speak, "Thomas uh…yeah um…" Jean struggled to speak.
Rhia nodded silently, having understood the hesitation and slowly crushed the letter in her hand then placing it in her pocket to dispose of later, "This other one is for a…Reiner Braun. Do you two know him?"
"Yeah…" Lukas's head shot up, "He's actually right here…" the teen pointed a few feet away to where the larger blonde had perked up at the sound of his name.
The older woman nodded once more then walked over handing the letter to Reiner. The large blonde grabbed the folded note gingerly, his face almost surprised, Lukas having also noticed that Bertholdt and even Annie now looked at him with some curiosity.
"Who…who gave you this?" Reiner said almost sounding confused.
"Some fella in a hood…" Rhia shrugged, "Said he was from the same town as you and just wanted to check if you were ok?"
Reiner looked at the folded piece of paper of a moment then nodded, "Thank you Ms. Schmidt. Did you happen you read it by chance?"
"No?" the older woman squinted in confusion, eyebrow raised, "Not my place reading people's personal mail…" she said flatly.
"Of course!" Reiner chuckled slightly, scratching his head, "That was a stupid thing of me to ask. Thank you so much for delivering this!"
"Sure…?" Rhia said confusedly as the teen followed by Bertholdt and Annie walked off, presumably to read the personal letter somewhere more private.
The older woman shrugged off the odd trio and turned back to the two teens. There was a sadness in her eyes, but she gave off a weak smile, "That girl let you know that your Ma made it out fine, I think Mikasa was her name?"
"Yeah…" Jean smiled softly, the first time he had felt in a long time although it had only been a handful of hours, "She let me know."
"Good…" Rhia replied, "That girls got some fire in her…didn't you always like the ones with black hair Jeanie-Weanie?" the woman playfully rustled the teens hair.
Jean blushed for a split second then composed himself avoiding the question, "Is my mom still doing ok?"
The elder Schmidt let her usual humor pass and warmed up once more, "She's fine hun, even more so once I tell her you're fine…" Rhia put a hand on the gray-haired teens shoulder, "…and she is so proud of you, and knows you're doing what you can out here. I hope you know that I consider you my second son too, and for what it's worth…I'm proud of you as well."
Jean stood somewhat shocked for a moment then looked down, "Thank you, I can't say I've earned it though…"
Rhia looked at the teen puzzled until Lukas spoke up, "That charge wasn't your fault bud…you did what you could…"
"People died…" Jean muttered, "because of decisions I made…"
"Jean…" Rhia replied, looking into the teens eyes, "You're 16, you boys are still teenagers and technically you two are still cadets…" the woman gripped Jean's shoulder tighter, "The fact that you were put into that situation in the first place was the fault of the dozens of soldiers who outranked, had more experience than you, and had more responsibility than you. I have every confidence that you stepped up because you absolutely had too. Jeanie you made a hard call, but you survived and by the looks of it…" Rhia nodded towards the various cadets scattered up and down the street, "…so did a lot of your comrades who might not have if you hadn't made that decision. That in itself should be applauded."
Jean looked down for a few moments longer before looking back up at the mother of his best friend. The gray-haired teen did not say anything only nodding softly, silently accepting the elder Schmidt's words in kind. Rhia gave him another warm smile before also clasping the shoulder of her son as well.
"Both of you boys make me so proud…" she said softly, then turned to Lukas, giving him a longer than usual glance then tugging on his jacket a touch, "Gosh Luka, if you didn't have my hair or nose, you'd look exactly like he did around that age. Wherever he is…he's no doubt gushing with pride right now."
Lukas gave a small smile and nodded quietly, "I know Ma."
At that moment the teen saw his mother perk up, taking her hand away from his shoulder and to the button-up that served as his undershirt. The woman, ever vigilant, ran her thumb over the fabric of the inner side of his collar, feeling the dried blood splotch that stained it. Rhia knew what it meant, as a child her son having always been of the habit of wiping boogers, snot, or otherwise there; a trait he never fully broke.
"It's getting worse…" she stated flatly, knowing that if her son had told her about the issue he was having, then no doubt he had told his best friend.
"The worse parts…" the teen sighed not wanting to burden his mother about the more paranormal symptoms he'd been introduced too that day, "…they come and go."
Rhia blinked stressfully, her face uncomfortable at the fact that her son was experiencing such issues, "Have you talked to the military about it?" she asked.
"No…" Lukas replied flatly, "but I have been considering it."
"I can't say that's a smart idea Lukas…" Jean broke in, "not after the reaction to what we just saw…" the teen finished grimly, trying his best to be vague.
Lukas processed his friends reasoning taking a moment to realize its grim undertone. His freshly 'resurrected' comrade was being held at sword and gunpoint currently, despite killing at least a dozen other titans and being one of the main reasons he and many others had survived to this point. Albeit, what was going on in his own body was a tad more 'subtle' that the teen formerly from Shiganshina, he knew enough to know that people were scared of things they didn't understand, the military doubly so. If he revealed he'd had a 'premonition' moments before a titan attack or had been able to momentarily stop a titan from eating him with his mind, he'd be just as likely to see the business end of a firing squad, or thrown into an asylum, then he would be getting any help.
Rhia looked confused at the duo until her son mouthed the words 'gag order' to the woman. She nodded silently, "I won't ask what happened, but either way I agree with Jeanie here." She pointed to the taller teen.
"Huh?" Jean replied, confused at the woman's decision to agree with him.
"I don't trust the military, and honestly I doubt your father did too…" the older woman spouted, "…but he did trust his friends, and those comrades he fought alongside." Rhia once again put a hand on her son's shoulder, "I think you should do the same."
"Alright, I'll do that." Lukas nodded reassuredly.
"But that doesn't solve the issue…" Jean replied to the gesture bluntly, "Lukas is gonna be shit outta luck if this gets any worse."
Rhia glanced over to the gray-haired teen, "You're right Jean." She spoke, stroking her chin, "This problem requires someone a lot smarter than I am…"
The older woman paused a moment giving an audible sigh and rolling her eyes, "As much as I hate to admit it, you need to talk to your Aunt. Heavens knows why your father made that madwoman your godmother provided how absolute shit she is at it, but she is the smartest person I know, and I know you can trust her."
Lukas gave her mother a nod before a small smirk rose in his face, a rare sight for the day, "You're never gonna forgive her, aren't yeah Ma?"
"You're damn right!" the older Schmidt huffed, "How the hell she thought strapping a baby harness to ODM gear was a good idea is beyond me!"
The son smiled warmly at the memory, while Jean looked on in confused astonishment. Rhia calmed herself from the same memory, the warmness returning to her voice as she gripped both the boys by their shoulders, "Both of you look out for each other ya here! Please…please try your best to stay alive too. That's all I ask."
The two teens nodded at the woman as she backed off. The elder Schmidt then looked slightly concerned, looking around for a moment, "Luka…where is Sasha? Where is my surrogate daughter?"
The black-haired teen scratched the rear of his head, recounting the events of the day that he could and explained that he didn't want to frighten the brunette, being as unsure of himself as he was at the moment.
SMACK!
The immediate sting of the slap to his face was the most physical pain he had felt that day unsurprisingly, Rhia Schmidt was widely known for a killer right hook. Lukas reeled back while Jean, knowing the power of the woman, who for all intents and purposes, was a mad one herself, stared at the display in abject horror.
"You fuckin' dummy…" she spat, "I swear the lot of you men are as thick as the damn walls sometimes."
The woman waited for her son to recover, and as soon as he did, she continued, her voice warmer now, "That girl almost watched you die, and I guarantee you she's blaming herself for it. I understand where you're coming from, I do, but I know for a fact she doesn't give a flying fuck about that right now. What she does need, is for you to be there. You don't need to pretend you got everything under control, you don't need to explain jack all to her, you just…need to be there. You got that Luka?"
The teen nodded quietly, hand rubbing his reddened cheek, mulling over his mother's words in his head.
After a moment, Rhia stuck out her arm, swinging her hand upwards, "Shoo…" she spoke catching the teens attention, "I'll still be here when you get back…but you're needed somewhere else right now…"
With that Lukas perked up and without a word started off down the street looking for the brunette.
"And tell Sasha I said hi!" he heard his mother yell from behind him.
…
"I'm done with fighting the Titans!" Daz raved to the side of her.
Sasha Braus sat perched on the top of a staircase, the overhang of a stables that had be requisition as an aid station for the injured was above her, shading the girl from the sun of the street.
"What's the matter?!" she heard Marco reply.
She knew the question wasn't directed at her, but her mind tried to answer the question, nonetheless. She'd seen so many of her friends and comrades die that day. Sasha knew that regardless, she had helped where and when she could; this was a matter of survival though, she had to trust herself to see herself make it through the day.
"My buddies got eaten before my very eyes! I almost got you and the rest of the squad eaten!" her comrade screamed, "Tuchel was eaten alive, but…I didn't feel any sadness or hatred! I was just glad…that it wasn't me!"
Sasha glanced over at the display, she didn't know if she could trust herself now, after what happened.
"But then, I realized I was going to be next." Daz continued, "Our job is to fight…until we get eaten by the titans, right!? Well, if I'm going to be eaten alive, I'd rather kill myself right now!"
The girl from Dauper had given up. Where she had been the hunter, she had become the prey. All that had been engrained in her head had faltered and failed. Sasha's training as a hunter, and as a soldier had all been for naught. If that hadn't been enough too, her failure had almost killed someone, a very important someone.
Daz tried drawing his blades, but Marco grabbed, inhibiting the teen, "Stop it! Pull yourself together!" he yelled, "You're not the only one! We're all battling our fears!" the teen looked at her, "Look at Sasha! Despite all she's been through, she's still a proud soldier!"
She broke at that. Gripping her stomach, she heeled over, a scream emanating from her mouth, "Ugh…my stomach hurts so bad." Sasha needed to voice what she was feeling, "Can I be placed on…"
The brunette didn't finish her rant as she felt herself be scooped up off the staircase. On her feet now, she didn't have to look up to see who now had her in an embrace. Lukas, who she'd almost gotten killed because she'd failed, because she'd given up. Lukas, who was arguably one of the most important people to her, no, was one of the most important people to her almost died protecting her because her trust in herself had failed.
"I'm…sorry…" Sasha mumbled out into his chest.
"Shhhhh…" Lukas replied softly, partly muffled due to speaking into her hair, "It's ok…It's ok"
"…You…you almost died…" the brunette griped him harder.
"But I didn't" the teen stroked the back of her head, fingers running softly under her ponytail, "And I'm here Sasha, I'm still here and I don't plan on going anywhere."
She sobbed, whimpering softly, the stream of tears wetting the fabric of his button up. She felt his face nuzzle into the top of her head. It didn't fix the problem, but it helped; she felt warm, and she felt safe in his arms. Sasha Braus couldn't imagine being anywhere else at the moment, even provided all the food in the world, she still wanted to be right where she was right now. So, she figured, that maybe she couldn't trust in herself, whether or not that was true she could not say, but she could trust in him. Sasha could trust in Lukas.