A/N: Not much of a note today, just wanted to thank Isayama for creating one hell of a story. Enjoy the chapter ~Scipias
A/N (04/18/21): Hows it going gracious viewers? Unfortunately have run into some adulting life issues this week so Chapter 18 will be postponed till next week:( I apologize guys and hope you all are doing well! ~Scipias
CHAPTER 17 – THE BATTLE FOR TROST: RESOLUTE
"Why?"
The question sputtered out of her mouth like water flowing down a stream. Sasha didn't know how long it had been, probably only a few minutes, but Lukas had sensed her calm enough to seat her back on the staircase. The teen took a seat beside her, tapping a steady tone on the side of his ODM gear with his fingers, a common tick that she had picked up on, but otherwise he was quiet. Sasha could tell Lukas was trying his best to give her some air, waiting for the brunette to react, giving her a glance every few seconds and most definitely keeping the girl in his peripherals. When she had spoken her one-word question, albeit softly, Lukas perked up, a hint of confusion on his face.
"Why what?" he replied.
"Why do you like me?"
Her boyfriend looked at her again, his face of confusion now sporting a bit of concern with it too. To be honest, Sasha didn't know why she even asked the question. She didn't doubt Lukas, but the brunette would be lying if she said she hadn't been curious, though Sasha could feel her question wasn't out of sheer curiosity either. It was all so confusing, Sasha trusted the teen, the two of them held this special connection as friends, and when they had transitioned to being a couple, she had thought nothing of it. She found Lukas attractive, and although Sasha had never had any experience with the concept of dating or relationships before, this seemed like the natural next step.
Before today though, the girl from Dauper had never considered the long-term, and that was where the problem seemed to lie. Sasha had questioned the Trost native in the Headquarters about the matter earlier that day, and Lukas had seemed to have no issue with it, the idea of following her into the MP's despite her knowing he had held ambitions to join the Scouts coming as calmly and confidently out of his mouth as if he were telling her the weather. The last straw had come when he had pushed Sasha out of the way of that titan saving her, which had almost condemned him to death if not for the timely intervention of Mikasa. Sasha needed that last bit of confirmation, she needed to know why Lukas thought her so important to give up a dream of his or thought her so important that he would lay down his life at a drop of a hat.
Lukas shifted his weight and turned to look at her, "You gotta nice butt…" he said flatly, snorting.
The brunette's face juggled a contorted look of surprise, shock, confusion, and embarrassment before the boy quickly retorted, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "Bad joke…I'm sorry…" he went on nervously.
Sasha was about to mumble out a reply urging the teen to be serious, she understood on a level that he was trying to lighten the mood, but before she could respond Lukas spoke up again this time a lot more warmly and soft spoken.
"I remember that first time you talked to me on the steps of the mess hall during training. You talked my ear off for a good hour about anything and everything that came to your mind to the point that your accent came out about halfway through…"
"You remember that?" Sasha blushed after taking a moment to recall the memory, "That was almost 3 years ago."
"Yeah…" Lukas smiled, "You had so much passion about everything you were saying that you could have been talking about paint drying and I still would've been listening. The house you live in, Dauper, the creek you swam in as a kid, and the forest you hunted in all seemed so nice…"
"They are." She smiled weakly recalling the memories but also sat astounded that Lukas had even remembered her telling him about them.
"I'm sure…" the teen responded, "and I'd be happy to see them one day…"
Sasha looked away from the boy, her cherry red face looking towards the ground. The blush wasn't one of embarrassment this time, instead her insides seemed to flutter at the thought of the teen showing such an interest in where she'd grown up.
"I figured that conversation may have been a one-off thing…" Lukas continued not seeming to notice the brunette's changed expression, "…but to my surprise it wasn't. You've always seemed kindhearted, always willing to help not only me, but anyone out, and always with a smile on your face too." The teen chuckled, "Don't think I forgot that you stole a cupcake from the officers mess to give me on my birthday!"
"Oh…" she uttered quietly, still looking downward, her heart now racing.
"You're great at making jokes…" Lukas went on, "when you clocked Connie in the back of the head with that handful of manure, I about damn lost it. You've got great instincts, Jean told me about how you tracked and took down that giant boar more or less singlehandedly…"
Sasha remained silent but was nonetheless amazed how Lukas was so enthusiastic, every word out of the boy's mouth singing her praise.
"…and your smile." Lukas elaborated, grinning eagerly "Your smile is contagious. Even with your mouth full and with crumbs all over it's a wonderful thing…damn cute too."
Before Sasha could even register what, she had been doing, she had laid the quickest of pecks on Lukas's cheek, the coolness of his face contrasting with the heat she had been feeling. Any shred of doubt she may have felt replaced by a slight embarrassment that her show of affection might have been unwarranted. The last dozen or so minutes had left the brunette warm, relaxed, and despite what seemed like the whole world going to shit that day, she felt normal, like they had just had that conversation on a perfectly average day. All this though, came with the caveat that Lukas did really care for her and secure in the fact that some of the thoughts floating in her head now were not unfounded.
Most surprisingly to Sasha though, was the fact that Lukas hadn't given one of his usual witty retorts to her antic. In fact, he just sat there, his face in a sort of shock. That was the point when the brunette noticed the mad shade of red that graced her boyfriends face. It had been only a small peck on the cheek, but it had been the first time Sasha had kissed him, and it was with that knowledge that she laid her chin on his shoulder, hugging the taller teen from the side, a sense of contentment prevalent on her face but also the tiniest hint of a sly smile, knowing full well she had caught Lukas off guard.
"Thank ya darlin'" she murmured into his ear, not trying to conceal her accent. She meant every word of that but that didn't stop Sasha from mustering a shred of playfulness that had been absent that day, taking advantage of the fact that Lukas was as red as a tomato and distracted, completely unawares of a finger coated with saliva approaching his opposite ear from the periphery.
…
Jean Kirschtein felt a kind of numbness as he stood in formation with the ragtag remnants of Trost Districts garrison and the 104th Training Corps. He could feel the sea of doubt, fear, and dread that seemed to be spreading through the ranks, through his fellow cadets, and through seasoned soldiers twice his age. Two female cadets standing in front of him seemed to have lost their will to fight, hoping that the rumors of an operation to retake Trost would stir up enough of a fuss that they would be able to slip away. What surprised the gray-haired teen more was when a Garrison NCO caught the two, but instead of berating them, encouraged them to stir up discontent themselves, so they could all get out of there.
"Get out and go where sir?" Jean spoke up as flatly but respectfully as possible.
"That gate's coming down whether we're here or not…" the man said manically, "I'm going to go see my daughter!"
This day had been a complete shit show. The teen didn't understand what had kept him sane when soldiers twice his age were breaking right in front of him. He knew he felt much the same as the lot of them, he was scared, you'd have to be an idiot not to be, but mostly he felt regret. Despite reassurances from Marco, Lukas, and surprisingly Ms. Schmidt, he still felt a deal of regret for decisions that got many of his comrades killed. Jean didn't understand what fucked up form of luck spared him as opposed to other people who might have survived, and it weighed on him. The teen figured that was why he still stood there resolutely, some distorted form of duty, perhaps Marco's rants were finally starting to get to him.
"Hey, there you are!" Jean felt a hand on his shoulder as a voice sounded from behind him. Turning his head, he saw Lukas on the other end of the hand, having slipped through the previous rank of people with Sasha close behind him.
"Did you hear we're going back into Trost?" Jean replied as the two eased into the formation beside him.
"Yeah…" the shorter boy nodded, "you saw that explosion, earlier right? That wasn't…they didn't kill…? Lukas cut himself off, not wanting to mention the name.
"Kill who…?" Sasha replied quietly, peaking her head into the conversation.
"I told you Sash…" the shorter boy turned to her softly, "…gag order…"
The taller of the friends looked to Lukas, "No…I don't think they did." He replied, then rolling his eyes he looked towards the brunette, yet still spoke to his friend, "You told her to keep quiet about your weird shit, right?"
Lukas nodded at that, quickly followed by a nod from the brunette. Lukas and Jean had decided on not spreading around the fact that the former seemed to have abnormal abilities when it came to combatting titans, and thus had strived to convince everyone who knew to keep it a secret until Lukas could consult with his Aunt.
"I'm assuming you told Connie…?" Lukas retorted.
"Yep…Cueball is on board…" Jean continued with a shrug, "and I trust Marco not to blab either."
"Good, it's settled then. All that's left is Armin and Mikasa."
Jean nodded at that but before he could turn the conversation towards something else, a thundering yell resonated from the top of the wall.
"ATTENTION!"
Everyone assembled turned, straining to see the form of Commander Dot Pixis, Head of entire contingent of Garrison soldiers in Wall Rose's Southern Region. The bald older man sporting a clean mustache stood perched on the edge of the wall, waiting for everyone assembled to focus their attention on him.
"I will now explain the plan to reclaim Trost District!" the officer spoke in a commanding tone, "Our objective for this plan's success is to seal the hole in the broken gate!"
Jean could hear sounds of resentment and surprise being whispered through the amassed formation. People had to understand this was coming, and though he was unsure of how they might pull off such a thing he stood silently still.
"As for how we will seal the hole…" Pixis continued, "…let me start by introducing this man. Eren Yeager of the Cadet Corps!"
At that a shorter figure appeared at the Commanders side, presenting himself with a crisp salute.
"Eren…?" Jean heard Lukas murmur from beside him.
"Wha…!" Sasha added, reeling in shock, "but Armin said he got eaten…"
Many of the members of the 104th who had known of their comrade's demise showed similar reactions. Jean had been undecided on what the military would do with Eren following the incident at the wall, but even he didn't expect that the teen from Shiganshina would have been opted into a plan to retake Trost.
"He is the successful product of our top-secret experiments to create a human titan!"
"Horseshit…" Jean heard Lukas again murmur under his breath, his friend gripping Sasha's hand in some sort of attempt to keep the girl calm.
"Yeah…I know" the taller teen replied quietly.
"He is able to create the essence of a Titan body and control it at will!" the Commander continued, "After transforming into titan form, he will lift the huge boulder currently residing near the front gate and carry it to said gate to plug the hole." Pixis motioned to the crowd below him, "Your job will be to protect him from the other titans while he carries that boulder!"
The senior officer gave a small respite for the amassed formation to soak in the details of his plan. The crowd expectedly burst into small, hushed rants mainly focused on how ludicrous the plan actually sounded. The crowd's arguments weren't unfounded, Jean was the last person to trust that utter lunatic Eren but the more he thought about, what better choice was there?
The teen then heard a crazed rant coming from a few rows over, from the sound of it, it was Daz. The teen, much to his character, went on about the idea was suicidal, and the speech seemed to open the floodgates of people, fear beset in their minds to blatantly and openly desert. Jean gave a shocked look as the two female cadets from earlier, along with the male Garrison NCO filed between him and Lukas, followed by a number of their other comrades. Jean looked at his friend, who himself looked somewhat bewildered at the people filing past them. Lukas gave him a concerned look before turning back towards Sasha who herself look equally distraught.
This went on for about a minute until Captain Woermann, who had been originally command of Trost's garrisons' forces, and who had also nearly executed Eren at the wall, spoke up in response.
"I hope you're ready, traitors!" the man screamed, unsheathing his blades at the massive display of desertion, "I will slay you all right here!"
The tense standoff between the Captain and those walking away was quickly averted by another commanding voice from Commander Pixis still atop the wall.
"On my authority!" his voice boomed, "Anyone who leaves right now will be pardoned!"
"What?"
The three cadets looked up at the senior officer in surprise as he continued, "A person who succumbed to his fear of Titans, can never face a titan again! Those who have lived through that horror can leave here now! As should those who want their parents, sibling, and loved ones to relive that horror. Leave here now!" Pixis finished his statement with a stinging remark.
At that Jean noticed the noise of shuffling feet behind him slowly come to a stop.
"Let's talk about four years ago!" the older man started up again, "About the operation to reclaim Wall Maria!"
A flash of memories appeared in Jean's head, none of them good, and all orbiting around a singular memory of a dark, damp room in the basement of Trost's Military Headquarters. The gray-haired teen glanced over to Lukas, his friend still attentive to the world around him but showing little emotion, face evident to at least him that Lukas was reliving the same memories.
"I don't think you need me to remind you of this, but…" the Commander paused, "calling it an 'reclamation mission' was all well and good, but in essence, it was the government's way of cutting down the large numbers of unemployed people that it couldn't support! What we never talk about…is that we drove those people outside the wall! That's why we were able to survive inside the narrow confines of these walls!"
"No…"
Jean stood dumbstruck at that. He had heard rumors as a child that all the mission had been was a convenient way to cull the excess population, but he had been optimistic back. Even now the teen had trouble believing the government would be so brutal. All those innocent people, and the scouts that…
Jean turned to look at Lukas, a look of concern in his eyes. He could tell straight away the prevalent emotion overtaking his friend's body: anger. There was scowl on Lukas's face, only an intense glare into the abyss. The taller teen could see that Sasha, on the other end on his friend, had dropped any distress she may have had and was trying to comfort Lukas, having picked up on his emotional state through the tightly balled up fist, beset by white coated knuckles, that was present on his opposite hand.
"I'm guilty! So is all of humanity!" Pixis bellowed from the wall, "No rebellion surfaced only because a minority of the people lived inside Wall Maria! But what about this time!"
Jean could see his friends face as he looked up at the older man atop the wall.
"If Wall Rose is breached, reducing the population by twenty percent won't be enough! We cannot support even half of the remaining population inside Wall Sina. If humanity perishes, it won't be because Titans devoured us! We will perish because we annihilated one another!" Pixis announced pausing amount to let the severity of his words fall on the group, "WE MUST NOT PERISH INSIDE YET ANOTHER INNER WALL! I BESEECH YOU! DIE HERE!
There was a long silence after that. Commander Pixis had made the stakes incredibly clear, and even though Jean was set himself to renter that hellhole, he still had doubts. At the same time though, he had a nagging sense of duty pushing him back. The Commander had drawn on everyone's need for survival to urge them on but instead he felt that he owed it to those he'd outlived, and to those who were unable to fight.
"You know…" Lukas spoke up, whatever anger resided in him cooled but his face now one of determination, "…I wouldn't put it against you if either of you wanted to walk away now."
Jean scoffed at his friend, but Sasha was the first to respond, "You don't get to save my life, and say all those nice things about me, and not expect me to follow you LuLu…"
Lukas gave a small smile at that while Jean rolled his eyes, "Remember dipshit…this is our home; we grew up here. Ain't no backing out now…" the taller of the boys scoffed holding out his hand, "till the end Shorty…"
Lukas gave a slight chuckle, returning the gesture "Till the end Horseface…"