In this chapter, Mary is going to try to be nice to Aunt Marge for the sake of her uncle. But she's going to blow it!

Feel free to listen to Partners in Time: Danger Theme when she blows up.

As a side note, this arc is probably going to be longer than the ones preceding it. J.K. Rowling decided to include more chapters for this book.

Do you know which Harry Potter book is longest?

It's longer than Chamber of Secrets and Sorcerer's Stone combined.

And yes, I narrowed it down for ya.

Chapter 30: Mary Blows It

"Now remember, if Marge asks you where you've been outside of summer vacation, you tell her you've been at the asylum." explained Vernon.

"Right, because I believe in magic." noted Mary. Nobody sane would believe in that. Just as nobody would believe in gnomes or trolls.

Since she was becoming boy crazy, maybe she was a bit insane. Though she wondered why the asylum would let her out during the summer if she was so crazy.

Mary considered herself lucky she hadn't found herself on Aunt Marge's doorstep or she would be going straight to the orphanage. Though perhaps the orphanage wouldn't be crummy.

It seemed Vernon didn't want his sister to know that she was a witch. Though Mary imagined she would probably be nicer to her if her aunt knew who she was.

As a side note, Mary's uncle was upset that the news hadn't told him where Sirius Black had escaped from.

For all he knew he could he at their neighbor's house.

One could only hope that the prison was somewhere far from home.

Mary considered asking Hagrid where Azkaban was, but she didn't want to bring back bad memories of the place. Especially since he had given her a birthday present. It wasn't an ideal birthday present though. Maybe he would give her something a bit less harmful next time?

Unfortunately, on the first day Aunt Marge spent at her brother's house, Ripper peed on Mary.

It was nothing short of disgusting.

"Aaaah!" exclaimed the girl.

That was not fun. At all.

"So, how's life at the asylum?" asked Marge later that day.

"They put me in a padded cell…and then make me wear a strait jacket." explained Mary.

"Well, I wouldn't mind if you ended up hurting yourself." noted her aunt.

Mary Potter sighed.

The second day wasn't much better.

Ripper put a pair of her socks in his mouth.

"Hey! Don't drool on those!" exclaimed Mary.

She already needed to use the washing machine to wash her shirt.

Marge asked if the asylum was allowed to whip her.

"Yes. I've been whipped loads of times." lied Mary.

They were pretty happy to use that whip.

"Then where are the burn marks?" asked Marge.

"They have a pretty good doctor." noted the supposedly insane girl.

"Maybe they should give you shock therapy." suggested the aunt.

"Maybe they should." seemingly agreed Mary.

She imagined a bunch of electricity entering her brain couldn't be good for her though.

On the third day, Marge insulted Mary again. Which surprised no-one.

"You go to an asylum, you say? Your parents must have been crazy to have you." noted Marge.

Perhaps insanity ran in Mary's family.

Suddenly, Marge's plate fell on the floor.

"Darn it! That was my lunch!" exclaimed the woman.

Mary had a feeling her magic might be responsible. It hadn't floated in the air, but still.

She wasn't sure if she could control it with her aunt speaking to her this way.

Marge and respect did not belong in the same sentence.

Petunia had a worried expression on her face.

Just how long could Mary keep her temper? She knew that Mary hardly ever got angry, but even a girl like her had standards.

To be honest, she wasn't too fond of hearing her sister be insulted herself. Though she had mixed feelings about Lily, as Mary found out on her eleventh birthday.

On the fourth day, Marge said her father was hopeless.

If he had been more careful, he wouldn't have crashed the car.

Suddenly, her glass of wine exploded.

"Maybe I grabbed it too hard?" asked Marge.

Mary chuckled nervously.

Vernon glared at Mary.

Why did Marge hate her parents so much, anyway?

She wasn't even sure if she had met them.

Though Vernon probably wouldn't want his sister to meet them even if they were still alive, since they had been magical.

Mary imagined that if her parents were ghosts, they'd be haunting Marge's house right about now.

That's what Myrtle did to the people who bullied her.

"Are you worried about the criminal who's on TV?" asked Mary.

"I'll be fine. I have Ripper." assured Marge.

Nobody would mess with her while he was around.

Ripper whimpered from seeing Sirius Black on TV.

On the fifth day, Marge said her mother was ugly.

"She looks like a monkey and smells like one too!" exclaimed her aunt.

A vase broke.

"I've seen photos of my mother and I know she doesn't look like a monkey." thought Mary.

Though it was on the fence as to what she smelled like.

Did she smell like flowers? It seemed logical given both her and her sister had been named after them.

Mary noted it might be helpful if her uncle gave her ear plugs.

But he had not.

On the sixth day, Ripper chased a cat.

"Meowww!" exclaimed the frightened cat, who was heading to the nearest tree.

"Bark! Bark!" bellowed the aggressive bulldog.

"That poor cat." remarked Mary. She was reminded of the time Ripper decided to chase her up a tree. She didn't watch her step and stepped on his paw…unfortunately.

Was the cat Professor McGonagall by any chance?

No wait, she transformed into a black cat.

This one was white.

On the last day, Mary's accidental magic reached its peak.

It happened while the entire family was at the dinner table.

She simply couldn't listen to Marge anymore.

Marge was saying her parents were the scum of the earth.

Her aunt ended up swelling like a balloon.

Mary's eyes widened with shock.

She honestly wasn't expecting that to happen.

Though she supposed the hints were there.

"Help me!" exclaimed Marge. Unsurprisingly, her voice was now much higher in pitch.

"No!" shouted Vernon. He too was very surprised. Though the narrator can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be surprised.

Petunia tried not to smile.

Dudley was curious. Did Mary want at least one balloon for her birthday party?

To his knowledge, she should have had one a while ago.

Mary gasped. What had she done?

Her aunt looked like a pufferfish!

Of course, by that logic, maybe she should be in an aquarium.

Though personally Mary thought Vernon's sister was more like a shark.

Aunt Marge was floating around the room.

Vernon was afraid that something like this would happen. Mary's magic had been acting up lately.

He believed he heard something about Mary's magic being connected to her emotions?

It seemed Aunt Marge had subjected her to more insensitivity than she could handle. She didn't know what it was like, being an orphan.

Mary was tempted to call Marge fat after all the things her aunt had said to her. but the girl who lived figured that she had done enough as it was.

"You fix your aunt this instant!" demanded Vernon.

He didn't want a balloon for a sister.

"I can't! I'm not allowed to use magic in a Muggle neighborhood!" exclaimed Mary.

And she was probably in enough trouble with the law as it was.

Mary's uncle sighed.

It seemed he had forgotten what happened last year.

Something about teleportation without a license.

The only thing she could do now was go to St. Mungo's and explain the situation. Perhaps they could deflate her aunt and make her forget it ever happened.

"I'm going to get a doctor! A wizard doctor!" exclaimed Mary.

Chances are they would be able to fix her aunt.

Mary noted Marge might go back to insulting her dead relatives if her aunt's memories were erased, however.

Still, she decided she would deflate her aunt for her uncle's sake.

Mary didn't know their number, unfortunately.

But she knew where it was. She had seen it while shopping in Diagon Alley.

So Mary decided she would leave the Dursleys for the time being.

Before she left, she made sure to pack her belongings.

Oh, and she remembered to bring Hedwig.

She couldn't forget about her.

It was dark out, but it wasn't past curfew.

Perhaps she could take a bus?

Something told her there was a bus nearby.

"I sure hope I'm not expelled from the wizarding community for this." noted Mary. She knew what happened to Hagrid when he was accused of opening the Chamber of Secrets. Luckily, he had his wand back now that people knew his innocence.

She imagined that inflating her aunt wasn't going to be something they took lightly.

Would she be considered a criminal? It would be ironic considering a criminal was on the news lately.

A few moments after she left, she discovered Chip the gnome.

"Hey, Chip. Do you have any more postcards?" asked Mary.

She wouldn't mind another postcard from the Weasleys.

"No. I just wanted to tell you about the dog outside your house. He's been looking for you." explained Chip.

Though if he had more postcards, he would be sure to give them to her.

"Really?" questioned the girl.

Indeed, there was a black dog approaching her.

It was the biggest dog that she had ever seen. Bigger than Ripper was, that's for sure.

"Is he friendly?" asked Mary.

She had her wand out, just in case. Though it seemed possible that he would mistake it for a stick.

Chip nodded. He didn't bark at him once. Though he found that to be a bit unusual.

She decided to scratch the dog behind his ear.

Indeed, he was happy to see her.

He licked her on the face.

"So, why have you been looking for me? Do you need somebody to adopt you?" asked Mary.

She could sign the adoption papers.

"Ruff!" exclaimed the dog.

Hedwig thought there was something weird about the dog. But at the same time, she didn't think he was threatening.

"You just wanted to make sure I was doing OK? You're a friendly dog. A lot friendlier than a bulldog I know." remarked the girl.

Oddly enough, she didn't ever recall seeing that dog before.

It didn't seem to belong to any of her neighbors…not that she had been allowed to visit them.

But it was nice seeing a friendly face after Aunt Marge paid a visit.

Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be going to Hogsmeade.

Well, maybe she could go there when she was older.

"Would you happen to know where to find a bus?" asked Mary.

She needed to get to St. Mungo's.

"Try the Knight Bus!" exclaimed Chip.

It was a bus for wizards and witches in need.

"The knight bus? I wonder what that's like." noted the girl with glasses.

It sounded interesting.

She decided to read the newspaper.

Mary figured an update on the current crisis would be nice.

There was one on the sidewalk.

It seemed Sirius Black hadn't been found yet.

"That's not good." remarked Mary. It had been an entire week, and yet there didn't seem to be any sign of him.

Though on the lighter side of things, it seemed he hadn't killed any more Muggles. Chances are the newspaper would mention if there had been deaths.

She wasn't sure whether things would stay that way though.

He needed to be found, and fast!

Sure enough, Mary noticed the Knight Bus.

Was there a way to get its attention?

She decided to wave her wand around.

That might work.

As it turned out, that did work.

"How may I help you?" asked the man at the wheel.

"Can I board the bus?" questioned Mary.

"Mary Potter? Well, would you look at that?" remarked the driver.

He recognized her from the lightning shaped scar on her forehead.

His name was Stan Shunpike.

Ironically enough, he wasn't much older than Mary was.

"I heard you killed a basilisk! A basilisk!" exclaimed the man.

"Well, I had help with that." noted Mary.

"Tomato, tomato! Welcome aboard!" shouted Stan Shunpike.

Mary entered the knight bus.

Luckily, it seemed that there was a place for passengers to sleep.

"Can you take me to the wizard hospital?" asked Mary.

"Are you sick? You don't look like you have a case of dragon pox." noted Stan.

She shook her head.

"It's just that….well, I used my magic by accident. And well, somebody got blown up." explained Mary.

"They exploded? That's horrible!" exclaimed the driver.

"No, I mean they inflated like a balloon." noted Mary.

Ironically, her birthday was about last week.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I'm afraid St. Mungo is about to close." explained Stan.

"They are? What about my aunt?" asked Mary.

"I can take you to the Leaky Cauldron. I think you can find someone that can help." said the driver.

"Thanks, I owe you one!" exclaimed the girl.

"Well, feel free to give me a tip." suggested the young man.

"I'm afraid I don't have money right now. It's in the bank." apologized Mary.

"Oh. Well, maybe sometime I can take you to Gringotts." noted Stan.

"Sounds good." nodded the girl who lived.

At the Dursleys, Vernon was waiting for a witchdoctor to show up.

He could only hope they showed up soon.

For some strange reason, his wife was laughing in the bedroom.

What was so funny?

Maybe he should ask her.

Suddenly, they heard knocking on the door.

As it turned out, it was Bill Weasley.

Vernon never thought he would be happy to see a wizard…but he was actually glad to see him.

Hopefully now things would go back to normal.

Mary really blew it this time!

Well, hopefully she can get things settled.

Perhaps you're happy that Aunt Marge is in only one book in the Harry Potter series.

And yes, I feel bad for Mary.

I guess this opening is a bit darker than the ones preceding it.