Chapter 22—"The Baby's Story"

Smiles No More felt two firm hands pull under her shoulders and lift her to her feet in the half-lit tent. She sputtered in the older man's face, "What are you doing, Dancing Man!"

"You will try and walk today. Yes?" He smiled, seemingly unaffected by the early morning.

She buckled her knees and dropped back down to her comfortable blankets. "The sun has not yet said hello, so goodbye!"

But Cloud Dancing lifted her right back up. "Best to start before the sun wakes. Now up. Up, up, up!"

Smiles No More scowled sleepily at him. "Snowbird needs to control you better."

He lifted her arm around his shoulder and led her to the teepee opening. "We are married. We are not prisoner and warden."

Smiles No More nodded begrudgingly, and then arched her nose high in the sky. "You are right. I was confusing you with us."

Cloud Dancing chuckled at the girl and led her to his horse. "Come on, Frowns A lot. I want to show you something."

Smiles No More hesitated for a moment. "You want me to ride with you?"

Cloud Dancing's face softened as he saw the little girl's locked jaw. He flew on the back on the horse and reached down for her hand. "You'll like it. I promise."

"Alright." She sighed and put her hand in his, and Cloud Dancing lifted her in front of him. "But I get to hold the reins."

They road into the woods, and Smiles No More bit her cheeks to hide her laughter as Cloud Dancing inadvertently sent the black stallion into a wild canter, sending them flying through the leaves as if they were a part of the sky. Suddenly, they burst through a clearing, and a rumbling plain stretched ahead of them for miles and miles. And then she saw them running towards the horizon.

"They passed the reservation this morning," Cloud Dancing whispered in her ear.

"Buffalo!" Smiles No More nearly squealed aloud, her face wide and open with amazement.

"Yes. Buffalo." Cloud Dancing nodded as they watched them moving away together.

"They are beautiful," she said quietly.

"Yes."

"Can we ride with them?" She asked hopefully, turning her dark eyes towards his softer ones.

"You are not afraid?" Cloud Dancing raised his eyebrows.

Smiles No More turned back towards the wild animals and almost grinned. "No."

"Then hold on to the reins."

"Hold on with me!" Smiles No More yelled as she kicked the side of the horse and sent them chasing after the sunrise.

He lowered his binoculars and frowned as he saw the two Indians riding with the buffalo. Something sat uneasy with him.

"What in the world are those crazy injuns doin'?" His corporal asked him.

"Why Corporal, those aren't injuns," General Custer put a fresh cigar in his mouth as he watched the small one in front wave her hand in the air like a flag. Was she laughing? "They're animals riding with their own kind, don't you see?"

The door of the drawing room opened slowly, and Caitlyn walked slowly into the room with the limp child in her arms—Lear carrying his Cordelia.

Elizabeth tried to stand up from the stairs, but her footing faltered, and Alex caught her before she fell.

"Caitlyn?" Elizabeth whispered.

But her senses were gone. She was gone.

"Caitlyn? Darling, please—" Alex left Elizabeth and tried to touch her.

Caitlyn jerked away from him as if his hand was a hot poker. "Don't touch my son!"

As soon as the fire appeared in her eyes, it blew out again, and she cradled the little boy closer. Her voice detached from her body as she whispered softly, "We're going home now. I'm going to put Chico to bed."

She turned away from Alex and began to float towards the door. Alex took a step after her, but Josef Quinn restrained him. "Caitlyn!"

"Don't, Mr. Montgomery. She's in shock. She's going to need something to help her rest." He turned a sharp, disturbed eye towards Elizabeth. "I'm going to the hospital to retrieve the proper medication. Will you—?"

Elizabeth stepped to the other side of Alex and supported his weight. She met Josef's eyes, and somehow she knew, in that moment, as he gave her Alex, their lives had changed forever. "Of course, Josef. Come with me, Alex. Let's take Caitlyn home."

"What do you mean Rebecca fainted? My daughter has always been in perfect health!" Elizabeth rushed down the stairs, not even bothering to done her proper morning clothes.

"She was takin' a telegram to ya, M'am, and she clear passed out on the stairway," Martha explained.

"Telegram?" Elizabeth stopped abruptly. She shook her head and continued to run into the drawing room where Rebecca was doubled over on the sofa. "Rebecca! What on earth? You're not ill, are you?"

"What do you think you're doing, mother?" Rebecca moaned into her hands, not bothering to look up. Martha promptly closed the doors on their conversation. Both ladies were always extremely formal. She couldn't recall a time when she had seen either of them so disheveled.

Elizabeth spotted the yellow piece of paper on the coffee table. She gasped in horror, "You've been reading my mail!"

Rebecca sat up slowly, trying to reclaim her spine. "It's difficult not to when you refuse to come out of your room, and now I see why you've become such a recluse. I thought your days of secrecy were long over. Apparently I have been misled."

Elizabeth's mouth dropped. Never had her eldest daughter talked to her in such a fashion. It was more often Marjorie or Michaela who seemed to strike the occasional attitude with her, but Rebecca? "You have no idea what you are talking about Rebecca, and I would appreciate if this conversation would cease before either of us says something we are liable to regret forever."

Rebecca quickly grabbed the telegram and stood up. "I'm not entitled to feel resentment and anger for what you did to us? Yes, I remember now. I'm not supposed to feel anything about it!"

Elizabeth cringed. She had avoided this conversation for years, and Josef had always been the buffer between them. But now, she couldn't. She never knew how much Rebecca knew, but now, it was evident that it was more than enough. "I know you were hurt and I take responsibility for that, but I did what I knew was best at the time, and I will never for a single day regret that decision! Now give me the telegram!"

Rebecca's mouth dropped. So it was true. It all was true. Somehow she just thought it was a story she had made up all these years. But to hear her mother actually admit it? "No!" She cried.

"Rebecca!" Elizabeth extended her hand and reached for the telegram.

"No good can come of this."

"This is my business, not yours." Elizabeth looked away, unable to look in Rebecca's eyes anymore.

Rebecca raised her chin, determined not to feel anymore. Her father had been right. "When this spirals out of control, do not expect me to save you again. Do not expect me to make this alright."

"Give me the telegram," Elizabeth whispered, her voice like steel.

Rebecca placed the telegram in her mother's hand. "Happy mother?"

"No." Elizabeth shook her head and crumpled the telegram. "Rebecca, I'm going to Colorado Springs. With or without you."

"Is somethin' wrong, Lina?" Sully asked the quiet girl as she stared into the fireplace.

Lina turned around and smiled at her hero. "Um…no. Well, maybe. I'm just writing a story. And I'm not sure this twist is right."

"Twist?" Sully smiled at the girl. He had always thought her a little strange, somewhat distant, but she was a sweet girl, and he appreciated her imagination.

Lina frowned in frustration. "Yes sir. It just seems too obvious to me."

Sully kneeled down beside her, looking into the dying fire. He wasn't much one for these endless novels she seemed to write—he preferred the sweet poems she would write as a little girl, but he couldn't just leave her hanging. "Well, then why don't you just twist the other way then?"

"Twist the other way…" Lina smiled at him. She liked him a lot. He was just so simple in some ways. The perfect match for her complicated heroine. "How are Lizzie and Dr. Mike doing?"

Sully wobbled his head back and worth. He was worried, Lina could tell. "They were speakin' the last time I checked. Now that could change any minute now."

"A new twist, huh?" Lina half-smiled.

"Lord, I hope not." Sully almost chuckled. He stood up slowly and headed for the stairs.

Lina watched his back. "Sully?"

"Yeah Lina?" He turned around. His eyes weren't as bright now that he was away from the firelight.

"Are you happy?" She asked quietly. She looked down, suddenly embarrassed that she dared to ask such a thing. "I mean… Have you gotten everything you wanted out of life?"

Sully shook his head and smiled at the girl. "You sure do ask big questions, Miss Lewis."

She shrugged, letting it go. "I'm just curious."

"Goodnight, Lina."

"Goodnight, Sully."

Lina turned back to her paper and began to write again, "The knife sliced through the flesh of his arm, but the physical pain was numb compared to the pain in his heart. He didn't understand how this could happen. He didn't understand how he would be able to forgive himself. How he would be able to forgive her. He didn't understand how God could be so cruel."

Chapter 8 was beginning to make sense to her.

­­

"How was the honeymoon?" Dorothy pulled Michaela into the examination room as they watched Sully saddle the horse and hitch the wagon outside.

Michaela smiled brilliantly. "Wonderful! Better than I could have hoped for, but I can't say that I'm terribly disappointed to be getting out of that bed."

Dorothy laughed sympathically. She could hardly imagine her energetic friend trapped in bed for a week. "You poor thing. I am thrilled to see you stretching your legs again. You certainly do have a tinge of rose in your cheeks, despite everything."

Michaela's eyes widened. Was she that obvious? "Dorothy!"

"I take it bed rest was the way to go?" Dorothy giggled as she edged closer to Michaela.

"I'm not saying a word to you!" Michaela fidgeted uncomfortably, crimson coloring her entire neck and face.

"Michaela Quinn! You are just being cheeky!" Dorothy threw her head back and chuckled good-humoredly.

"Not a single word!" Michaela said, retaining her public modesty as best she could.

Dorothy sighed. "Fine then. Just so you know, my imagination is healthy and in tact, so it's liable to go places without your consent. Just tell me this at least… did you break doctor's orders?"

Now Michaela was the one to sigh. "No…we didn't. Dorothy… What if… No… You'll think me foolish…!"

Michaela's face fell in her hands. Dorothy gently put her arms around her friend and she whispered knowingly, "What if you can't wait that long?"

"Yes," Michaela admitted quietly.

Dorothy nodded and proceeded with care, finally seeing how delicate and important this subject was to her. "Well, you're the doctor. Will it cause harm?"

Michaela's eyes fell a bit, tender knowledge weighing hard on her mind. "The tissue needs time to heal, and if we want to conceive, then it's best to wait."

Dorothy locked eyes with Michaela. She could see the desire there without even asking. "And you want a baby."

Michaela leaned in closer and said secretly, "I can almost see her sometimes, Dorothy. It scares me a little."

Dorothy's chest tightened a little, but she smiled as wide as she possibly could. "You'll get that baby of yours. I can feel it."

"Hey," Sully said quietly, standing in the center of the clinic door. He was looking at no one but Michaela.

"Hi," Michaela replied impishly. A smile Dorothy knew only lovers shared passed between them, and she suddenly felt the room much too crowded for three people.

"Well, I'm just gonna make myself scarce now." She headed towards the stairway door.

"Goodnight, Dorothy," Sully called after her.

She turned back towards them before she reached the knob. "You two have a happy first evening with your family. I'm glad you're goin' home."

"Ya ready? The kids are waitin'." Sully reached out for Michaela's hands and pulled her into his embrace. They still weren't lovers, but they had learned how to love. Michaela smiled as she held her husband a little closer.

"Let's go home, Sully."

"Oh Goodness! You scared me!" Dorothy gasped as she opened the hall door way and found Catherine standing on the other side.

"I'm sorry, Miss Dorothy." Catherine startled and jumped back.

"It's alright, Catherine. What were you doing hidin' back here? Shouldn't you be restin'?"

Catherine fumbled for her words, "I wanted to say goodbye to them, but—"

"Yes. Well, they've already left for the night. You alright, Catherine? Ya seem anxious," Dorothy questioned.

Catherine pushed passed Dorothy and walked inside of the examination room. "No, no. I am alright."

Dorothy examined her, trying to find an explanation, "You're still hopin' to hear from your folks back east, aren't ya?"

Catherine looked up, a bewildered look in her eyes. "Oh. It… it does not matter now."

"Sure it does! Everybody has to have a family!" Dorothy exclaimed.

"Not me."

"I'm sure that's not true." Dorothy tried, but Catherine did not answer her. She stared out the window. At what, Dorothy did not know. She sighed, realizing she wasn't going to get much further helping the woman. "I've got to run to the store for a bit. Will you be alright here?"

"Yes," Catherine nodded absentmindedly. As soon as Dorothy left the clinic, Catherine wandered to the window and looked out to the dirt road. She could see the wheel tracks left behind by Sully and Michaela. They had left without even thinking about her, as if she had never happened.

She was alone.

The thought made her anxious, and she didn't know what to do. She felt trapped in this clinic, trapped in Colorado Springs. Something was keeping her here, and it was bigger than her own heart.

She ran towards the door and went out towards the street, needing to breathe fresh air. She looked up to the sky, but a voice brought her back down to earth.

"Hey there."

She looked across the street and saw his piercing blue eyes staring back at her. "Hello," was all she could say.

Hank smiled slowly as Catherine stared at him. He threw his cigarette over the railing and stood up as he kept eye level with her. "I read that article bout ya. Ya like your meat raw, huh?"

Catherine froze, confusion filling her as he spoke strange words and looked straight through her. "What does that mean?"

He chuckled, and she shivered as he began to stalk across the street towards her. She felt like an animal in a trap. "Ya like the red man. Ya like to take him inside ya, huh?"

He hovered over her and she couldn't speak. "I—"

He pulled a piece of her disheveled hair down, straightening it until he let it loose. She gasped. "You want to come inside here? I got men who will pay a pretty penny for a girl like you. They don't care who you've been whorin' with before."

She pushed him away, sending Hank stumbling backwards in the dusk. "Leave me alone!"

Hank held his hands up, amused harm filling his face. "Suit yourself. Offer stands though."

"Sister?" Michaela fell back, her mind whirling. She took in Lizzie's features, but for the life of her, none of her sisters struck a sour cord in her heart. Not even Marjorie, who claimed her mother's fair features as a child. And there was no way. Marjorie had kissed her goodbye and died in Loren's arms.

"She…she knew about the baby, too," Lizzie spoke slowly, her eyes rimmed in red as she began the interrogation of her life.

"What?" Michaela's heart iced for a moment as her mind traveled back nearly sixteen years ago.

Lizzie swallowed, the smell of poultry now dank and sour in the air. "Things I didn't even know. Things you wouldn't tell me. Won't tell me."

"I love my sisters…" Michaela shook her head, trying to rap her mind around everything she was learning. She felt like a puppet in her own life, and this woman had been controlling and dictating her moves ever since Lizzie came into their lives. But the baby? How in the world could she know about the baby? "Rebecca was my rock, but even she doesn't know, Lizzie. Some things I can't even repeat to your father. Only… only… but she…"

Lizzie sparked, suddenly finding hope in her mother's not knowing verses the woman's certainty and precision. "Who Mama? Please. Please tell me. I want to believe you, not her. Tell me what happened."

Michaela placed her fingers on the bridge of her nose, as she traveled back in time to that hot August day. The hottest she had ever seen in Colorado. "A woman was there. Sully and Cloud Dancing had gone after Custer. I shouldn't have gone that far, I knew, I knew in my condition that it would be risky, but I had to do it for Smiles No More."

Lizzie lowered her head, suddenly feeling guilty. She had led a charmed life compared to Smiles No More. She reached for her mother's hand, letting her heart melt a little more. "I know. I would have gone too. I don't think there's anything worse than stealing someone's child."

Michaela met Lizzie's eyes. If this woman was her mother, is that how Lizzie would see her? As someone who stole her time, her years, her memories? For Michaela, there was nothing worse than losing her children, but she felt Lizzie's hand tightened over hers, and she had to trust that she wouldn't pull away if fiction proved to be true. "And she showed up. She always showed up. She was always hovering, waiting. As though she expected something from me."

Lizzie frowned. Their stories were already different. "And then?"

Michaela's head fell, finally dropping years of weight from her memory. "And then I went into labor."

Her shoulders shook, and Lizzie immediately wrapped her arms around Michaela. "Mama… I'm right here. You can tell me…"

"And I tried to coach her, but she panicked. She didn't know what she was doing. I didn't really know what I was doing…" Michaela laughed for a moment, despite the pain. "When I got pregnant, David wouldn't even tell me the chances of carrying the baby to term because they were so slim." Lizzie looked down and pressed their hands flat together. They were the same size now, almost interchangeable.

"There was a great deal of blood. She was screaming. The baby… the baby was screaming. I couldn't catch my breath. The last thing I remember is her words, the baby is still. The baby is still…"

Their hands stilled in each others, and not a breath passed between them. "When you woke up?"

Michaela swallowed. Her hands began to shake. "I woke up in Custer's camp three days later. And the doctor there confirmed that my baby was stillborn. I never even saw her."

Lizzie gripped her hands, but couldn't stop the trembling. "The woman?"

Michaela stared in her daughter's crystal blue eyes for a moment. She liked to pretend that Lizzie had inherited Sully's eyes. She never imagined anyone else's until that moment. She stood up abruptly, her body beginning to shake all over. "Lizzie… It's too much. You don't want to know."

Lizzie pushed up off the ground and grabbed her mother's hand hard. "I need to know, Mama."

"Custer kept her in his private tent." Michaela felt the strength in her daughter's hand. Pure determination. She couldn't deny it. "I can't even imagine what happened to her."

Lizzie stumbled backwards, as if she were a wildcat unleashed from a cage. "Custer? He's… he's the…the… general who killed… He...?"

Michaela tried to go to her, but Lizzie was completely unapproachable as she screamed and hit the side of the barn with her bare fist. "Lizzie!"

"Oh my God… My God…!" Lizzie screamed as she ripped the locket off of her neck and flung it in the air before running out of the barn. She ran as fast as she could, no longer relying on air as the horror of the situation became more and more resolute in her mind. She ran up the steps and few into the house, not even acknowledging Lina's presence.

She ran into her room and flung herself on the bed. Caroline quickly jumped up from the other side as Lizzie burst into sobbing tears. She shook her back gently, panic taking over. "Lizzie! What is it? What is it, love?"

Lizzie shook her head in the pillow, muffled words escaping, "I think it's true… I think…"

Caroline leaned against her and ran her hands gently down her matted hair. "What? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything."

Lizzie lifted her head and sputtered, "What that woman… C-c—"

"Catherine," Lina whispered quietly from the door.

Lizzie nodded her head frantically. "Mama's story is worse. She's not gonna love me anymore! S-she didn't even know—she didn't—"

Caroline closed her eyes and pulled Lizzie closer. "Just breathe, sweetheart."

"That means Custer was m-my father," She said disdainfully as she pulled on her own hair, hating herself.

Caroline quickly grabbed Lizzie's hair from her and pried it out of her hand before she hurt herself. "And you still believe her?"

Lizzie collapsed, her face destroyed and her mind totally blown. "Nothing else makes any sense. What other reason would she have to claim to be my mother?"

"Maybe it has nothing to do with you," Lina said quietly, walking further into the room.

Lizzie and Caroline stared at Lina. "I don't understand."

Lina's eyes sparkled, her thoughts running wild with different scenarios. "She knows you love Dr. Mike and Sully, right?"

Lizzie frowned, her tears stopping for a moment. "Yes, but—"

"Where has she been all these years, Lizzie? It's not like Dr. Mike and Sully hid you away. Wouldn't she have come sooner?" Lina suggested.

Lizzie turned away from her and buried herself in her pillow. "Maybe she couldn't."

Lina tightened her hold on her notebook. "I don't know what it's like to not know my real parents, but Lizzie, don't throw away what you have for a few half-truths. Make sure you know the whole story first before you abandon what you know is real."

And she left the room as if she had never been there.

"I can't believe I've missed the homestead so much, Sully." Michaela whispered as they road along the country road together.

Sully gazed at her, hardly able to keep his eyes on the road ahead. "I know… It's home now, isn't it?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Our home."

He kissed her forehead, already feeling the need to be closer to her. He whispered, "It won't be forever though."

She looked up at him, surprised, "It won't?"

"I want to make love to you in our own bedroom," he whispered in her ear, as if someone could hear them on the open road.

"Stop the wagon." She put her hand over his and tugged on the reins. The wagon stopped and she put her hands around his face and took his lips and mouth and thanked them with hers. After several moments, she pulled away and agreed happily, "Me too."

He grinned broadly and shook the reins, sending them onward. "Alright. Ya ready to face 'em?"

"Yes Mr. Sully." She nodded, unable to hide her pleasure.

As they turned around the bend, Sully stopped the wagon abruptly. Another wagon was already there. In the way. A man and a woman were there, waiting with the children.

The man was out of the wagon, standing with the children, and the woman was still sitting inside the wagon. Her hand was on her stomach. Then Michaela realized she was pregnant.

"Who is that?" Sully whispered to Michaela.

"Michaela?" The man stepped out from the group. Michaela frowned. She didn't know him, but he obviously knew her. He stepped closer.

He was limping.

Sully quickly helped her out of the wagon, and they approached the man slowly. Twilight hit his face, and she realized he wore a patch across his left eye.

"Michaela," he said again. She didn't know why, but she suddenly needed Sully's hand. She looked up towards the wagon, and she saw the most beautiful violet eyes she had ever seen in her life. She was almost jealous. She looked back towards the man.

"Do I know you?" She whispered, her knuckles suddenly white as she met his one good eye.

He nodded once. "It's me, Michaela. It's David."