Prisons, like people, come in all shapes and sizes. The hardest ones to recognise — and from which to escape — are those we create for ourselves through our beliefs and our baggage. All things are fluid and can be changed if only we are: firstly, aware that this is so, and secondly, that we are willing to take a chance.
That evening, the residents of St Osric's — none of whom had slept especially well — wended their various ways into the forbidden area where they received some shocking news.
'Five hundred million!' shouted Draco.
'What on earth are you yelling about?' demanded Sirius.
'Books!" spluttered Draco. 'Five hundred million books. That is how many, according to Hermione and her net (whatever in Merlin's name that is) books of our story the muggles have purchased.'
'Go on. I don't believe it,' scoffed Neville. 'There can't be that many muggles in the entire world. Can there?'
'Oh wonderful!" drawled Snape. 'I can now die happily. I have always yearned to be an insanely-popular figment of someone else's imagination.'
But no one was listening to him.
'Of course there are more than 500 million,' retorted Draco.
'How do you know?' demanded Dean.
'Well …' faltered Draco. 'There have to be. Have you seen muggle London lately? They're like ants. There are heaps of them. If there are so many in London, how many would be in the whole world?'
'Oh, such unshakeable logic,' sneered Snape.
'Well, then, Professor,' challenged Draco, 'What's the population of London, then?'
'I think it's about nine million,' said Hermione from the doorway.
'I suppose your net told you that, did it?' said Draco suspiciously.
'It did,' replied Hermione equably.
'And what else does it tell you about us?' Sirius wanted to know.
'There is a place that calls itself Wizarding World,' said Harry. 'You can go there and be sorted into a House at Hogwarts, choose a wand and a Patronus …'
The expostulations of outrage soon rose to a clamour. 'Actually,' Harry had to yell over the hubbub, 'I had fun. You do this quiz, and you are Sorted according to your answers.'
'And the muggles actually do this?' breathed Sirius, almost out of breath with shock.
'They invented it,' explained Harry. 'I think they're desperate to be us, if I'm honest.'
'I'm not sure I even want to go any further down this path,' groaned Lily. 'That way lies madness.'
'Hear, hear,' replied Snape.
'But I want to know the population of the muggle world,' pouted Draco. 'If they can sell more than 500 million books, there must be more than 500 million people. It stands to reason.'
'The next person to use that asinine phrase in my hearing will have their tongue permanently paralysed,' growled Snape. 'That is no way to argue a case.'
'All right. Let's settle it here and now,' said Hermione, a mischievous glint in her eye.
She waited until the room fell silent, glanced briefly at a spherical object on a bookshelf in the corner and intoned,
'Alexa, what is the population of the world?'
A female voice replied,
'According to the US Census Bureau, the population of the world yesterday is 7.8 billion.'
There was dead silence as most eyes searched for the source of the voice.
'Huh!' cried Draco triumphantly.
'You shouldn't have done that, Mione,' chided Harry as the hubbub rose anew.
'Stop!' Harry cried. 'Remember what I said to the Prof here. To them, we're only a story. And this,' he motioned to the spherical object, 'is the source of the Alexa. She's a computer. Leave it at that.'
Alexa received a hail of suspicious glares from the gathering, but everyone fell silent.
'This next film is called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, announced Hermione.
'Don't forget the description track,' chorused several voices.
Snape smirked from his corner by the loveseat.
This time, the film began with Harry trying to do his homework under the bedsheets, under the pressure of constant interruption from Uncle Vernon. Snape tapped Harry with a bony finger.
'No wonder your holiday homework was always in such a state.'
Harry didn't answer; he simply sat and watched in silence as the tv Aunt Marge proceeded to bate him.
'What?' cried James, outraged. 'I was not a drunk. Who is this woman?'
'Shhhh,' said Harry.
Snape snickered as Aunt Marge's wineglass shattered and she began to swell. This time, the laughter came from the younger people, while the elders only smiled. 'Oh dear,' spluttered Hermione. 'I think she got off rather lightly, all things considered.'
'Shouldn't have done that, kid,' observed Harry's father.
'He's right,' agreed Snape with a smirk. 'I'd have transfigured her into a beetle and crushed her underfoot.'
Renewed peals of laughter from the younger set earned a quelling look from Sirius.
'There's Padfoot,' cried Remus as the huge black dog materialised out of the dark bushes near Harry.
Everyone giggled at the cartoon-like progress of the Night Bus with its Rasta head.
'I don't remember it being that much fun,' remarked Harry.
'Oh, Cruickshanks,' squeaked Hermione as they saw her cat for the first time.
'That was one smart cat,' agreed Sirius. 'He had the straight of it from day one.'
Sirius scowled at tv Arthur Weasley as he warned Harry about the supposed danger posed by the escaped convict. Lily took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
'I'm sorry,' whispered Sirius.
'Hush,' assured James. 'We all trusted Wormy.'
'It's me who should be apologising,' said Remus mournfully. 'I doubted you for the longest time.'
'Hush,' commanded Snape. 'Do you think you could leave the talking therapy until the conclusion of the film?'
Sirius wasted a withering look on the blind professor who, nevertheless, pointedly tilted his head — the better to hear the action.
'Damn, I wish they wouldn't do that,' grumbled James, his voice thick with outrage. "It's so bloody unflattering.'
'Do what?' grumbled Snape.
'Choose actors who are far too old to play us. They've done it to Remus now.'
'They chose a lot of famous actors to play those parts,' explained Hermione. 'That's why they're all older.'
'Dramatic licence. Pfft,' huffed Snape scornfully. 'Pretty slow off the mark, weren't you, Lupin?'
'I was not,' replied Remus emphatically. 'There is no way I'd have waited that long to go after those dementors. Dramatic licence again, just like the ice forming. Any wizard worth their sault …'
'Here. What have they done to Hogwarts,' broke in Seamus? 'It looks different.'
'And we never had a choir,' put in dean.
'And is that supposed to be Flitwick?' Draco wanted to know.
Then, when the new Dumbledore began to speak, everyone started talking at once, forcing Hermione to press pause.
'What the hell's going on here?' (Ron)
'If that's Dumbledore, then I'm Grindelwald.' (James)
'That's not the same man at all.' (Snape)
'Guys, please,' called out Hermione. When silence failed to descend, she put two fingers in her mouth and whistled. 'It's a good thing I read up on this,' she said, a little breathlessly once silence had been achieved. 'From this film onwards, they got new Directors. They are the people in charge. The first man was called Columbus, I think. Can't quite remember this new one's name. I'm guessing he would want to stamp his mark on the film.'
'Well, I hope he does better than that other meddling cretin,' growled Snape.
'I don't think the script writer was changed,' said Harry. 'But the old Dumbledore died, so they had to hire a replacement.'
Everyone exchanged bewildered glances. It was clear that the world of film would never make sense to them.
When the film was resumed, everyone watched in relative silence through the evening and first class of the day — Divination with Professor Trelawney.
'Idiot woman,' muttered Snape.
The film leap-frogged Transfigurations and went straight to Hagrid's Care of Magical Creatures class.
'Hey, that was a really important lesson they just missed out,' protested Hermione. 'It was all about Animagi.'
'Hush,' hissed Ron. 'Maybe it'll come later.'
Then Buckbeak came into view for the first time, and a sigh issued from Ron, Hermione, Harry and Sirius. Everyone soared with Harry as he flew the Hippogriff over the castle, and the applause was augmented by all, even Draco.
'I don't remember that being as much fun, either,' commented Harry. 'Give me a broomstick any day of the week.'
Then came Buckbeak's attack, and Snape's voice rang out over the hubbub on-screen.
'Mr Malfoy, I trust the owl was not too long delayed.'
Draco gaped at him. 'Pardon?'
'The one carrying your brain, which you clearly left at home.'
'But — but' Draco spluttered.
'But nothing, idiot. That things worked to your advantage had nothing to do with any forethought or planning on your part. You could have been very seriously injured.'
'And what possible advantage to you in picking on poor Hagrid?' demanded Hermione. 'I note they skipped right over us showing support for him,' she added ruefully.
'He was a brainless oaf,' retorted Draco defiantly.
'No more than that idiot Trelawney,' returned Snape. 'But both of them were your professors. I would no more have disobeyed a direct caution from that old fool, Slughorn, than I would have deliberately altered a potion without some idea of what would happen.'
'I don't suppose 13-year-olds are too hot in the judgment department,' observed Sirius. 'Godric. We sure as hell weren't.'
'Yes, and you took full advantage all right — both of you,' said Neville hotly. He reached across Ron, grabbed the remote and pressed pause. The scene had frozen at the newspaper picture of Sirius, who contorted his face so that it mirrored the one on the screen, eliciting theatrical shudders from the women. Then they turned and, seeing the look on Neville's face, grew very still.
'What do you mean?' asked Draco quietly.
'It's funny,' continued Neville, his voice dangerously casual, 'how you've been complaining about the script writer leaving out scenes of yours, Professor. I should think you'd be grateful for his omitting this one, eh?'
'What are you talking about?' asked James.
'Shall I tell them, Prof?' Neville continued, still in that same falsely casual voice. 'Shall I reminisce about how — between you and Malfoy — all of the Gryffindors came in for some that day, especially me?'
No one moved a muscle, and the room seemed to darken. 'Now all of you know how rubbish I was at potions,' Neville went on, the sing-song tone in his voice the sole clue that control was becoming more difficult to maintain. 'In case you'd forgotten, Prof, it was the lesson on Shrinking Solution. After having fun with Harry and Ron, you turned on me. Not unusual; I was weak, easy meat. But that day, you achieved a new low by threatening to poison my toad.'
'What?" chorused Ginny and the elders.
All eyes turned to Snape who, sightless as he was, cannot have helped feeling the force of their gaze.
'I did not, in fact, say that,' he said softly. 'If you intend to level accusations, then please credit us all with a modicum of intelligence by being accurate. I informed you that your potion would be tested on your toad. The outcome of that test was, clearly, in your hands — or should have been.' He turned in Hermione's general direction. 'As I did not prevent Hermione helping you, it should have been obvious that the creature would not be endangered.'
'Difficult to know what's obvious and what isn't when you're pants-wettingly afraid — not only for your life but for the life of your pet,' pointed out Hermione. 'For instance, Prof, did you know by looking at the finished potion that Trevor would be all right?'
'Of course,' sneered Snape.
'Because, you see,' continued Hermione calmly, 'we didn't. At least, we weren't sure.'
'Oh, Sev,' sighed Lily, her voice dripping with disappointment and sadness. 'How could you?'
That was what hurt, far more than the hostile gazes which he could feel on his skin, far more than the false calm in the voices of his former students, far more than the silence of his former schoolmates. The judgment in that tone was all too clear. Even Draco, who had also been there that day, had remained silent. Was this really how things were, after all the decades they had spent together? He was pondering whether to remain or leave, when a small sound came from the corner to the left of the television, followed by a collective gasp and a familiar, sweet voice.
'You know,' it began in its soft, lilting Irish accent, 'Nargles all look the same to the untrained eye. It's not until you look really hard at them that you realise they're all individuals — just like us.'
'I would know that voice anywhere,' whispered Snape.
The being of light, which he could not see, turned in his direction.
'I think they used to like hanging around in our classrooms,' she went on. 'because the professors used to have trouble treating us like individuals, too. They seem to be dying out, though. I don't remember having so much trouble with them when I was teaching.'
And the being disappeared, leaving the corner, with its flowery curtain tied back from a lace-covered window, as blandly neutral as though the being had never appeared.
The stunned silence continued for what seemed an eternity.
'That was … that was …' But Dean could not finish. He, like the rest of his former classmates, was staring into the empty corner.
'That was our Luna,' said Ginny, a smile enveloping her entire face, and her eyes glistening. 'She was one of the nuttiest and wisest people I've ever known. Merlin, but I miss her.'
Everyone nodded, even Draco.
'She always was cryptic, though,' he observed softly.
'Not so cryptic,' replied Neville, all his anger and bitterness having dissipated. He arose and approached the corner where Harry, Ginny and Snape sat. 'She was right — maybe not about the Nargles (whatever they are) but about teaching.' No one moved as they watched him look down at his former professor for a moment, before conjuring a stool and sitting down on it so that he faced the older man. 'You weren't around when I gave my inaugural speech as Headmaster,' he continued. 'I mentioned you, along with all the other influential professors and authors in my life.' No one moved. 'I told the school how traumatic my time in your class had been, but that it was also some of the most valuable. You, more than any other professor, taught me how not to do it — made me determined to do things differently in my own classes. So, professor' he leaned forward and extended his hand to touch the back of the skeletal one resting on the arm of the chair, 'I need to say thank you for that valuable lesson.'
The silence thickened as the observers held their breath. Snape's hand twisted very slowly and closed around the younger hand as a collective sigh of relief finally lifted the tension in the room.
'I believe,' said Snape, his voice frayed with emotion, 'That you were the second-youngest Headmaster.'
Neville grinned. 'I suppose I was. I was also terrified.'
Snape pulled weakly on Neville's hand so that the younger wizard was forced to lean even further forward. 'Would you like to hear a secret, Headmaster Longbottom? So was I.'
Harry and Ginny, the only ones close enough to overhear, giggled. 'We won't tell anyone, Prof,' teased Ginny, also leaning forward.
Neville transfigured his stool into a low-profile armchair and seated himself on Snape's other side before signalling to Hermione to resume the film.
'I don't suppose they'll have left out that first defence Against the Dark Arts class,' sighed Neville.
'Your revenge, of a sort,' replied Snape who had not released Neville's hand.
'Nah,' said Neville ruefully. 'Just more entertainment value at our expense, I expect.'
'I don't recall being in this class,' said Draco casually. 'I know I should have remembered.'
They all sat silently as tv Lupin introduced the class to the Ridikulus charm, and it was Draco who first broke it when the class erupted into peals of laughter upon seeing the image of Snape in the clothes of an old lady. His face split into a manic grin and he guffawed hugely.
Harry looked around and saw others trying to be more restrained: snickers from most of the younger people, giggles from James and co. Even Neville couldn't help a smile. Only Snape sat stone-faced and silent.
'Ah, you look beautiful, Uncle Severus,' chortled Draco, giving him an enormous French air kiss. Neville shot him a look.
'Sorry, Prof,' he said, turning to the man beside him. 'It is very funny when you're 13, but only very embarrassing when you're — well, however old we are.'
'I should have liked the chance to laugh at it, though,' mourned the older man. 'I suspect it may have been quite amusing from this great distance.'
It was Harry, overhearing, who caught on.
'Oh, Prof.' He moved to put an arm around the frail shoulders. 'I wish I could describe it so you'd know. It is actually rather amusing; you're right.'
'In the right clothes, you'd have made for a spectacularly elegant queen,' grinned Draco.
'Just ignore him,' said Harry, giving Snape a slight squeeze before releasing him.
The other man simply nodded.
Then the film made another great leap straight to the first Hogsmeade trip.
'Hey, they missed out our first big fight,' said Ron. 'You know, the one where Cruickshanks tries eating Scabbers.'
'Well, aren't you glad about that?' retorted Hermione.
'That cat had better taste in food,' put in Sirius. 'I made sure he knew what that rat was — and what it wasn't.'
'Pity we didn't,' said Hermione. 'Things might have been very different.'
'Don't go there, girl,' rasped Sirius, looking away. 'That way lies madness. I should know.'
They fell silent as Harry and Professor Lupin talked on the bridge.
'They left out your bringing me the Wolf's Bane,' said Remus disappointedly. 'I'd have thought that was important, as things turned out.'
'No, Lupin,' sighed Snape. 'It would only have muddied the waters for the lame-brained.'
'Where's old sir Cadogan?' protested Dean. 'He was a great laugh.'
'Oh, him,' reminisced Seamus. 'I used to love winding up that crazy old knight.'
'Here we go,' said Lily as another class featuring Snape began.
It did not take long for the subject himself to raise another protest.
'I rest my case,' he declared, thumping the arm of his chair. 'These people do not possess a brain cell between them.'
Hermione hit pause.
'I would not have covered animagi,' he continued exasperatedly. 'The question I asked, if memory serves, was "Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?" Moreover, the word is animagi with the soft g, as anyone with the least scrap of brain knows.'
'As I recall,' said Seamus, 'You took 20 points off us that day — for virtually nothing. You spent the whole lesson criticising Prof Lupin's teaching and set us a bloody great extra essay.'
'To be fair,' put in Harry, 'I did arrive 10 minutes late. That was 10 of the points.'
'And you insulted my wife,' put in Ron, ignoring him.
'Hey, come on, Weasley,' warned Draco. 'She wasn't even your girlfriend back then. And you used to call her a know-it-all all the time.'
''But that's … well … different,' added Ginny in defence of her brother. 'They were all kids — and friends too. You expect adults to — you know — set an example.'
'Your behaviour doesn't make a whole lot of sense,' said Sirius to Snape. 'You ask a question, get the answer you wanted — and a damned good answer to boot — and then you take points off because it's Hermione doing it. No wonder the kids are confused.'
'You know,' said Snape 'it would have been refreshing — just once — not to have Hermione Granger answer a question. It might have been some indication that others in my class were actually paying attention.'
'I see, now, what you were trying to do, Prof,' said Neville, the fellow professor, 'but it just wasn't going to work.'
'And I did not care,' retorted Snape defiantly.
'That was obvious,' whispered Ginny to her husband as Hermione resumed the film.
Ron shook his head in disgust, but remained silent, as he was portrayed agreeing with, instead of calling out, Snape in class.
The quidditch match caused a good deal of talk from the younger ones.
'At least they got the weather right,' said Hermione.
'Just about all they did get, though,' added Harry. 'Who's that supposed to be playing Seeker for Hufflepuff? As I remember, it was Ced Digory.'
'That's not Cedric,' commented Ron unnecessarily.
'Hey,' cried Ginny. 'That lightning didn't happen at all. The only one who fell off their broom that day was Harry. What are they playing at?'
'Dramatic licence,' chorused Sirius and the elder Potters.
Snape smirked. 'I suspect the (what do you call him) Director was showing off.'
'I have to agree with you there, Snape,' said James. 'Where's the point in making something that's already dramatic enough in its own right, even more so by adding rubbish? Okay, if you want to spice up some boring bit, that I can understand.'
'Yeah,' put in Harry. 'If I had really fallen 100 feet, I'd have been killed.'
'Everyone shook their heads in bewilderment.
'Oh yes, your poor Nimbus,' reminisced Hermione. 'That was rotten luck.'
The film showed Professor Lupin offering to teach Harry to defend himself against dementors and then, after another of Hedwig's wonder flights to indicate the passage of time, the first Hogsmeade trip and Fred and George's gift of the Marauders' Map.
'Messrs Weasley,' sighed Snape. 'Why am I not surprised? So, that's how it worked,' he laughed as Harry revealed it for the first time. 'Remarkable piece of charm work, even for you lot.'
'Pinnacle of our student achievement,' smirked Sirius.
'Work of art,' added Remus.
'Work of bloody genius,' chimed in James.
Everyone laughed.
'Trust Fred and George to have got hold of it,' laughed Sirius. 'Honestly, I wish I'd have had more time with those two.'
'We don't,' chorused the younger set, before breaking into fresh laughter and earning a mock scowl from Sirius.
'Hey, that didn't happen on this trip,' protested Draco as a fight scene played out near the Shrieking Shack, in which Harry — helped by his invisibility cloak — bested Draco.
'And it didn't happen that way either,' added Harry.
'Looks like they combined both trips into one,' sighed Ron. 'I wish they wouldn't do things like that. It's very confusing.'
'Shush,' hissed Snape as the scene switched to the Three Broomsticks where Harry was eavesdropping on the conversation between the publican, Fudge and McGonagall.
'Not another stupid talking head,' groaned Hermione. 'I see what you mean about gratuitous drama, Prof.'
Snape merely nodded and placed a skeletal finger against his thin lips. He felt his free hand taken briefly by Harry, who then rose and went over to sit beside his godfather.
Sirius was staring at the screen, his face unreadable, as tv McGonagall laid out the story and their evidence against him while tv Harry, under his cloak, grew increasingly shocked and enraged.
His godfather embraced him as his tv self proceeded to have a meltdown in the snow before heading back to the school.
'They left out a really important bit,' he said into Sirius' ear. 'The newspaper.'
Sirius did not reply, but gave his godson a quick squeeze.
'Hang on,' protested Remus. 'That's not all they left out. Didn't we begin your Patronus lesson after the holidays, Harry? I know I'm losing my marbles but ….'
'So we did,' said Harry from the loose circle of Sirius' embrace. 'Where's Christmas? Where's my Firebolt and everything?'
'At least they also left out that Christmas cracker of yours, Prof,' grinned Ron in an attempt to lighten the mood.
'Do tell,' said Dean, grabbing the remote and hitting pause.
'Oh, I'd forgotten about that,' said Harry. 'It was a bit mean of Dumbledore, really.'
'What was?' chorused most of the room.
Snape sighed. 'The cracker contained a witch's hat with a vulture on the top.'
'That was a bit on the nose,' said James, almost succeeding in stifling a giggle.
'And he was so cool about it,' reminisced Harry. 'Just handed it over to Dumbledore who swapped it for his one and just continued on as if nothing had happened.'
'That must have been a disappointment for you,' drawled Snape.
'Not really,' replied Harry. 'Hermione and Ron weren't really talking by then. Cruickshanks and Scabbers had a scrap. Actually,' his expression grew thoughtful. 'That was when I first realised how ill that rat was looking. I just thought he was coming to the end of his life. Wish I'd known then …'
'And then there was Trelawney,' smirked Snape. 'She did provide some entertainment, as I recall. "The first one to arise from a table of 13 is first to die.",' he scoffed. 'I think I suspected, even then, that much of her crystal gazing was into a sherry glass.' He smirked to himself and then lifted his head.
'And then,' he continued, his mirth growing 'Minerva offered her tripe as soon as she agreed to sit. That woman was the mistress of irony.'
Only Neville, who caught on almost at once, joined in.
'Oh, yeah, that,' said Ron, ignoring Snape and Neville. 'Harry and I got up first, and I thought she was going to have an apoplexy.'
'Then things went downhill fast,' mourned Harry. 'Hermione went and had my Firebolt confiscated by McGonagall for testing. There were times when I wondered if I'd get it back. Spoiled my whole holiday, that did.'
'What did you do that for?' cried Sirius reproachfully.
'It didn't have a note,' said Hermione blandly. 'There was no way of knowing where it came from, or the sender's motives.'
Sirius nodded, reluctantly conceding the point, but did not let go of Harry.
'And they left out the bit about poor old Buckbeak's hearing,' mourned Hermione, changing the subject and pressing play.
They all watched in silence as Lupin took Harry through the Patronus charm.
'That was quick work,' remarked James.
'Yes,' sighed Harry. 'Pity it didn't happen like that. As far as I recall, I didn't succeed at all that first time. I had weeks of lessons before I made any real progress. It wasn't until … well … hopefully that'll come later.'
'Oh, no,' moaned Hermione. 'Why did they have to put that in?' She and Ron had just fought over Scabbers — missing, presumed dead.
'I thought you two would never speak to one another again,' observed Seamus.
'But they left out the ruddy quidditch match against Ravenclaw,' protested Harry. 'And that trick of yours, Draco. That was low.'
'What?' demanded Lily.
'Some friends and I dressed up as dementors to try and scare Harry off his broom,' sighed Draco.
'You imbecile,' roared James. 'What were you trying to do? Kill him?'
'I agree,' said Snape. 'I still wonder, to this day, how they imagined they would get away with it?'
'Thirteen-year-olds again,' sighed Sirius, only half listening.
'But Flint was not,' retorted Snape. 'You were lucky it was only 50 points.'
'And that was the night you came after Scabbers,' Ron reminded Sirius.
'With all the passwords,' mourned Neville.
'You didn't!' cried a horrified Snape.
'It was my fault,' said Neville quietly. 'That stupid knight kept changing them, so I asked him for a week's worth and I wrote them down.'
'And you — you what? Just left them lying about?' Now Snape was incandescent.
Neville nodded sheepishly. 'I — I was always losing things,' he muttered.
'And you would have lost your hide had you been in my house,' growled Snape.
'Yeah, sorry about that, kid,' sighed Sirius. 'If Cruickshanks had told me The little bugger had escaped …'
'We couldn't even fart without a teacher knowing after that,' said Ginny reproachfully, perhaps thinking of the year before when school security had been tightened for a very different reason.
'Good thing they left all that out, then,' said James.
'Oh, I don't know,' retorted Snape. 'It would have been very dramatic. But they have rather backed themselves into a corner by excluding the Firebolt.' He sighed. 'The more I watch, the more I am convinced these writers must be aliens. I do not understand them at all.'
Then came a night scene with Harry spotting the name of Peter Pettigrew on the map, getting out of bed to investigate and being caught by Snape.
'I wondered how they were going to work that in,' mused Harry. 'That happened after the second Hogsmeade trip.'
James and Sirius snickered as Harry read the writing on the parchment.
'Hey, I'm sure it would have said more than that,' said James in mock reproach, still snickering. 'We all put in something in case anyone tried that little trick.'
'It did,' confirmed Harry. 'It would have been hilarious if the situation hadn't been so serious.'
Do you remember what it said, Prof?' asked Ron innocently.
'In fact, I do,' said Snape. 'Though I don't propose to tell you.'
'Oh, come on,' coaxed Ron, grabbing the remote and pressing pause.
'The first bit, the one it showed on here, was mine, I think,' said Remus.
'Ah, yes,' cried James delightedly. 'Then my bit came next. Now what did it say?' He thought for a bit, then smiled maliciously.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.'
The younger ones snickered.
'Then there was my contribution,' put in Sirius. 'Can you remember what I said, Prongs, because I can't.'
James considered. Something about being an idiot.
'Oh no!' Hermione put her hands over her face in embarrassment.
'Got it,' cried the older man. I think it said something like, "Mr. Padfoot would like to express his surprise that an idiot like that ever became a Professor."
Now a series of coughs filled the room. It sounded as if the residents had suddenly fallen victim to a highly contagious virus.
'Was that it?' Dean wanted to know.
'I think there was something from wormtail, but I'm stuffed if I can remember what it was,' sighed James.
'Very clever piece of kit,' commented Seamus. 'I suppose …'
He broke off as a snicker broke through his control.
It was joined by similar sounds from all the younger ones, even Harry.
'Sorry, Prof,' he gulped, desperately trying to reign in his mirth. 'You must admit, it was pretty damned funny.'
That'll teach you to peep not through keyholes lest ye be vexed, Severus. Isn't that something out of your Bible, my love?' He smiled at his wife. 'Good thing you showed up, Moony.'
'Yes, good thing I did,' said Remus severely, looking at Harry. 'Severus was right about one thing. It was shallow and selfish to go wandering about like that when people were trying to keep you safe.'
Harry had the grace to hang his head.
'When is this meant to be?' asked an annoyed Ginny? The scene showed a Divination class in which Hermione had walked out, and in which Harry had gone back to return the crystal ball she had accidentally knocked over when she left.
'I think,' said Hermione carefully, 'it might be one of those combining things again. I left that class before the Easter hols.'
Harry nodded. 'But that trance of hers happened during my exam. That would have been in June.'
'That infernal script writer is trying to mess with our heads,' growled Snape.
'He certainly is,' huffed Draco indignantly as his younger self, together with his cronies, confronted the Trio near Hagrid's hut. 'This, most certainly, did not happen.'
'Great theatre, though,' commented James. 'They finally spiced up a boring bit.'
'They sure did,' said Harry. 'Seems they decided not to give us the Invisibility Cloak. That should spice up things no end.'
It did, beginning with a couple of pebbles sailing through Hagrid's window just as the execution party approached the hut.
Hermione gasped at the snapping of a branch as they stood watching Buckbeak's condemnation.
'That was risky of them. This is going to be very interesting.'
It was. Even Hermione didn't mind Cruickshanks being excluded from the drama as Ron chased his wayward rat and they all ended up under the Whomping Willow.
'Poor little buggers,' muttered Harry, watching his and Hermione's tv versions taking a pounding from the Whomping Willow. 'At least we had old Cruickshanks to press the knot for us.'
'Idiocy,' declared Snape. 'All that screaming and shouting would have attracted the execution party.'
'Dramatic licence,' chorused Draco and the elders.
'Well, how come they left out the whole explanation, then,' said Ron reproachfully as tv Snape appeared, cold and vengeful.
'And your tantrum,' said Sirius bitterly to Snape. 'I had to wonder which of us was more unhinged that night.'
'That Expelliarmus looked good, though,' said James.
'It should have,' replied Harry. 'All three of us cast at the same time, not just me.'
'Looks better just coming from you, though,' smiled his father.
'Yes,' drawled Snape. 'The story is called Harry Potter, after all.'
The confrontation with Peter Pettigrew followed immediately, to further huffs of protest from all involved.
'Why are they leaving out all the important stuff?' exploded Sirius. 'How I found out he was at Hogwarts, and how I escaped.'
Remus hung his head as the story led to his transformation and the fight which allowed Peter to escape.
'I'm so sorry, Harry,' he said softly. 'It was all my fault. If I'd taken my potion …'
'Don't go there, old friend,' soothed Sirius. 'No point.'
'What's that howling?' Lily wanted to know. 'That doesn't sound like a wolf. It sounds like someone trying to mimic a wolf.'
'Correct me if I'm wrong, Severus,' Sirius' voice was pure acid 'I mean … there was rather a lot happening just then, but I seem to recall you were still unconscious at that point. Pretty damned good fighting for an unconscious man.'
But all eyes were now on the dementors' attack.
'By Merlin,' breathed Snape as the silver stag made its appearance. 'Is that … is that Harry?'
'Yes Prof,' replied a beaming Ginny. 'Beautiful, isn't he?'
'Bloody hell,' from dean, Neville and Seamus.
'Definitely a chip off the old block, son,' said James proudly.
'Yes, but how did it …' Said Lily before she was shushed by a finger across the lips and a huge wink from Hermione.
'I overheard the two of you, you know,' said Harry to Snape as the scene in the hospital wing began. 'You and Fudge congratulating yourselves. You wouldn't listen to us; but who ever listens to kids?'
'Oh yes,' added Hermione sarcastically. 'That little scene in front of Fudge would have been very dramatic. Wonder why they changed it?'
Snape said nothing, but seemed to shrink inside himself as tv Hermione warned Harry of Sirius' impending "kiss" and the Headmaster appeared.
James laughed. 'A time turner. Well, well. So that's how you did it, smart girl. Wish I'd had one of those when I was at school. It would have come in very handy.'
'The Marauders' Map, unregistered Animagi and a time turner,' recited Lily. 'No, I really don't think I want to go there.'
'Have you any idea of the magnitude of the honour bestowed on you?' enquired Snape of Hermione.
'Not then,' replied Hermione. 'and it was a good thing I had it.'
No one spoke at all while the story played out, and the reasons for the thrown pebbles, the snapping branch, the fake wolf howl and Harry's full-blown Patronus were revealed.
'So that's how it occurred,' whispered Snape as Buckbeak flew towards the school. 'I knew you'd somehow engineered it — you and Dumbledore. I wondered why he looked so pleased.'
'Not quite,' laughed Sirius. 'As I remember, they came through the window; far more practical.'
'And we didn't have time for that lovely little scene in the quadrangle either,' sighed Harry. 'Pity.' He turned and embraced his godfather fully, so he missed one of Snape's patented scowls.
'Don't worry, Prof,' said Hermione, all the sarcasm gone from her tone now. 'At least they also left out that meltdown you had in our ward when you found out. You really should have listened to us.'
'And the fact that it was you who ratted out Remus,' said Harry reproachfully. 'Don't you get it? Sirius was innocent.'
But they had no time to ponder.
'There's your bloody firebolt,' laughed Draco. 'Very touching ending, I must say.'
A general cheer went up from the viewers as Harry put his new broom through its paces.
'Well, said Hermione, ejecting the disc, who's for coffee?'
'Not me,' said Draco. 'I'll settle for tea; that is, leaves infused in a teapot – a china one.'
'Right,' said Seamus, getting to his feet. 'You Hermione, me, Dean and Harry in the kitchen because we know how to use the toys. Everyone put in their orders — and for Merlin's sake stay out of our way.'
'I'm getting some air,' declared Draco. 'Anyone want to join me?'
Ron, Neville, Lily, James and Remus assented, and they left through French doors which gave onto a spacious patio.
'Want to come, Prof?' offered Ginny, making to follow the others.
Snape shook his head. She was unsure whether he'd really even heard her, so lost in his thoughts.
The open French doors let in a soft, cool breeze, faintly scented with flowers.
Funny that, thought Snape as he all but dozed in his chair. The breeze here always smells like that. This place isn't so bad, really.
He was startled to full awareness by a gentle hand on his bony shoulder.
'Sorry, old chap,' said Sirius, taking Neville's vacated chair. 'Didn't mean to startle you. Did you want to take a stroll?'
Snape shook his head. 'What did you want, Black?'
Sirius hesitated, staring at his frail schoolmate. 'Well, I — I …' He gulped. 'I wanted to apologise.'
'For what?' The retort was sharp, but did Sirius detect a modicum of surprise? He hoped so.
'For, well, for nearly killing you that time,' said Sirius softly. 'I — well — I guess I'm glad I didn't succeed after all.'
Snape sighed heavily. He wished — oh, how he wished – he could stare coldly back at his old enemy. But he couldn't; he couldn't even muster the energy for a witty retort. He sighed again.
'We're far too old for all this,' he declared morosely.
'Not wrong there,' agreed Sirius. I should have done this years ago; wanted to, but was too afraid.'
'You!' Snape was incredulous.
'I am only human, you know,' said Sirius reproachfully. 'It's not easy admitting you've been a complete jerk.'
'I know,' replied Snape slowly. He fidgeted a bit, trying to adjust his position. 'It seems that I have finally come to realise something, myself, between Hermione and Harry hammering it into my brain this evening.'
'And what's that?' enquired Sirius.
'That we do dismiss the things children say, for no other reason than that they are children.'
'Yeah, Severus, but you had an excuse …'
'No,' said Snape sharply. 'I was so overwhelmed by hatred I couldn't see past it — didn't want to see past it. Blame is easy; other things … let us just say I was not in possession of all the facts.'
'Well, if you put it that way,' said Sirius extending a hand 'turns out neither of us was, when it came to one another, eh. You helped save us all in the end.' Sirius grasped a frail hand in both of his still-powerful ones, and after only a moment's hesitation, the skeletal fingers closed over his.
'Severus,' he said innocently 'Are you sure you're not a closet Gryffindor? I've always been meaning to ask.'
Snape's free hand slapped at his. 'Away with you, Black. You are such an idiot.'
Sirius laughed. 'Always have been,' he said jovially. 'Now, how about that stroll? I think I can even push you for a bit if you like.''
Snape's face grew solemn. 'No, I don't believe so … the others …' He broke off and withdrew his hand abruptly.
'What about the others?' Sirius was suddenly concerned.
'This evening,' whispered Snape. 'I — I could feel it; every eye on me, filled with hatred. I almost left you all to it; then Luna turned up.'
'That was something, wasn't it?' Sirius' face was alight. 'She must have been some woman.'
'I don't think there are any words for what she was,' said Snape dreamily. 'As a student, she used to infuriate me past all patience; and yet, she had a way of somehow getting under one's skin.'
'She did that,' agreed Sirius. 'Put us all back on track sharpish. I don't think they hate you, Severus.' He took back one of Snape's hands. 'You were their teacher for the whole time they were in school, and this is a story about Harry, from his viewpoint. Any flack is going to come back on you just because of that — never mind any history between all of us.' He leaned closer to the wheelchair. 'If you ever want to vent, I'll listen — for whatever that might be worth — and I'll talk to the others, tell them to tone it down.'
'No, please don't,' said Snape. 'Don't talk to them, I mean. This is causing us to relive some difficult experiences and, I think, lending us some perspective. Perhaps it's what this is all for. I have not decided.'
Sirius nodded. 'You're probably right. Now let's us …'
He broke off as a strange sound came from a corner of the room.
'What the hell was that?'
A female voice replied, 'Hmmm. I don't know that one.' Sirius glanced into the corner and laughed. 'I think it came from that — that thing — talking head. Or at least, that's what it vaguely looks like.'
'Oh, the Alexa,' said Snape, using much the same intonation he would the word "tart". 'She probably thought you had called her.'
Sirius frowned. 'Don't like the sound of that, me old china. What's she listening for?'
'Who's listening?' Harry wanted to know.
'That stupid female in the corner,' growled Snape.
Harry glanced around, saw no one to whom he could be referring, and then looked where Sirius was pointing. 'Ah, *that* stupid female,' he said. 'I told Mione she shouldn't have turned it on.' He crossed to the speaker, pressed a button, which emitted another strange sound, then re-joined the others.
'I've been doing a bit more research,' he said, taking the loveseat beside Snape once more and pulling out a flat piece of aluminium and plastic. Sirius stood to gaze down at it.
'There's writing on it, but I can't quite see …'
'It's called an iPad, I think,' said Harry. 'Pretty easy to work in any case. Looks like we're going to have major problems with this next disc, by what I read here. I'll wait till the others get back before I fill you all in. It's called Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.'
'It was the year of that damnable tournament, wasn't it?' asked Snape.
'Yes,' confirmed Harry. 'The year Voldemort came back.'
Snape huffed. 'Don't tell me they've turned it into a circus.'