This one is a little more graphic than any of the others...it deals with masturbation. Be warned!

Personal Problems

"I'm sure it's perfectly normal."

"I'm oversexed, Draco. I think that's the problem."

"How can being oversexed be a problem? I don't even think there is such a thing. You're crazy, Potter."

"Maybe we should just take a break. I bet that would solve my problem."

"Break my ass, if you will pardon my pun. I'm not taking a break."

"How are you going to keep going without me?"

"I can think of a few ways..."

"If you're going to do that then go into another room."

"Harry, if you're going to be huffy about this then I'm not sure if I want you to have sex with me."

"There isn't any sex going on! I don't think there will be any going on!"

"That attitude isn't getting you anywhere, Harry. You're never going to...you know...if you're being negative."

"I'm not being negative. I just...I'm frustrated."

"I could tell."

"Now you're just being a prat. You aren't helping, you know."

"I tried that. It didn't work. Would you like to try again?"

"If it would keep you quiet."

"I highly doubt that. Why don't you try yourself."

"No. That's gross."

"You mean you've never done it before?"

"Of course not. Have you?"

"Err...no. Never."

"You HAVE! Why?"

"Believe it or not, I'm horny. Often."

"But...I...we..."

"Yes, well, I need to do it when you aren't here. And when you have your PROBLEM..."

"This has never happened before. Don't go making it sound like this is a common occurrence. Because it's not. I'm just stressed."

"Sure."

"Let's stop talking about me. So, you do...it...yourself...often?"

"Oh yes."

"How often?"

"Five or six times a day."

"And I'M oversexed."

"I don't do it because I need to, I do it because I'm bored."

"Bored?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you take up a hobby? That would be better than beating off all the time."

"What would you have me do? Knit?"

"I could do with a few new jumpers."

"No. I'll turn into Ron's mum."

"I highly doubt that."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sure she doesn't..."

"Don't."

"Fine."

"Oh my..."

"Ew."

"Ready to resume our previous activities?"

"We were talking about Ron's mum..."

"It wasn't our conversation that triggered...it...it was a mental picture..."

"Ew."

"Not of Ron's mum...of you..."

"Oh...but still ew."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"That's probably a good idea, before it decides to be shy again..."

End