I had so many people suggest this one that I couldn't resist. Thanks to everyone who said to do a soap opera one!
Passions Problems
"What is this tosh?"
"They are my stories. I had to do something while you were at work, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but this? This shite is just…"
"Gripping television."
"I've got no idea what is going on."
"You wouldn't. You've only watched about five minutes of it. She is pregnant with the red-haired bloke's baby, but he is married to her sister. But, get this, the sister is having an affair with her sister's husband, but I think he is a closet case."
"Rubbish."
"Is not."
"Let's watch a talk show or something. There has to be something better on."
"Talk shows are for middle-aged housewives who have nothing better to do while their husbands are away."
"And soap operas are for Twenty-something gay wizards who have nothing better to do while their boyfriends are away?"
"I…you…yes, I guess they are!"
"You live in your own little world, love."
"It's nice here."
"You know Dray, I could always go back to work."
"No you couldn't, not after Ron fired you for our little Phone Sex-a-thon. He wouldn't take you back."
"You did that on purpose. You must have had inside help to pull that off."
"Maybe I did. I think he reason he reacted so bad is because you kept pretending I was one of your clients. He probably assumed I was Mildred Bolmes in the Auror Training office."
"That's disgusting. Have you seen that woman?"
"Your fault. Now hush, it's coming back on."
"Who is he?"
"That's the pregnant woman's gay husband."
"How can he be gay if he is having an affair with her sister?"
"Simple, her sister is a man. I figured that out ages ago."
"Okay, now you're…oh. OH. That's…this is…"
"Quality entertainment."
"Then how are they married if they are both men?"
"Because no one knows that she is actually a he."
"Not even her…his…its sister?"
"Of course not."
"How? Has he been cross-dressing since birth?"
"No. His bits were so small everyone thought he was a girl."
"Really?"
"No. I made that up."
"You should write these, you're twisted enough."
"From you, that is a compliment."
"Believe me, it shouldn't be."
End