Interview with the Zodiac I mean, the Sohmas! Chapter 2: The Weirdo Game, a fruits basket fanfic

Author's note: This actually my third or fourth time writing this chapter anime sweat drop Anyway, I do no own Fruits Basket, or any of the songs. This is most likely going to be changed names, but I need a new one, so yeah. That's all, I guess.

The awesome Announcer announced, "Welcome to the Interview with the Sohmas! Hey, I got it right!"
The fain-girl Audience cheered. "YAY FOR THE ANNOUNCER!"
Synphy jumped up and down shamelessly, for she never wears skirts. "Hey, I gotta game!" she said.
Rain and Momiji said, "Really?"
Synphy smiled like this 3. "Yup! I do!"
Rain and Momiji looked interested. "LETS PLAY, SYN-CHAN"
Synphy nodded. "Okay, but they wanna play, too!"
Ayame and Shigure walked onto the stage.
Yuki and Kyo gave Synphy a get-them-away-or-someone's-gonna-die look.
Synphy smiled again. "This is called the Game to End All Shame! Hey, that rhymes! Heehee! Anyway, you pick a partner and you spin a wheel and you take the paper on the section it lands on and you and your partner sing the son written on the back!"
Yuki and Rain immediately said, "I pass."
Momiji jumped up and down and grabbed Synphy's arm. "Syn-chan, you be my partner!"
Synphy nodded and jumped. "Okay!"
Ayame looked at Shigure. "Shii, you are my partner!"
Shigure looked back. "Alright, Ayaa!"
Kyo looked evil. "HAH I could sing better then you all combined!"
Synphy looked at him. "Then you go first."
Kyo yelled, "NO! I'm going second."
Rain made a face like this --' "...Ummm...why...?"
Ayame yelled, "Then WE will go first!"
Momiji said. "Then me and Syn-chan will go last!"
Synphy said, "Spin the wheel!" then she took out a random wheel.
Ayame spun the wheel and it stopped pretty quickly. Then he took the paper and showed it to Shigure.
Kyo spun the wheel so hard it spins for about 10 minutes, then takes the paper in the section it lands on.
Momiji spun wheel that spins for longer than Ayame but not for ten minutes than handed Synphy the paper.
Rain: So, what did everyone get?
Shigure read almost proudly, "My Humps".
Kyo said, "Some song called 'Don't' Cha'. Don't I WHAT?"
Synphy read, "...Ummm...'Hips Don't Lie'."
Rain was literally rolling on the ground laughing.
Kyo said, "I'll go first!"
Ayame said, "NO, I said I was!"
Kyo pouted. "Fine. Whatever."
THE music started and Ayame and Shigure start dancing disturbing dances.
Shigure started. "What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?"
Ayame sang in a very girly voice, "I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lump. Check it out.

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ice-ys.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and then Donna
Karen, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin'
Fly gearrr but I ain't askin,
They say they love my ---'n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't takin'
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love, my love, my love, my love
You love my lady lumps,
My hump, my hump, my hump,
My humps they got u,
Shigure sang, "She's got me spending."
"Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me."
"She's got me spendin'."
"Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me."
"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?"

"I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump."
"What u gon' do with all that?
All that inside them jeans?"
"I'm a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. Check it out."
Shigure sang, "I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yeah let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Lets spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiigh."
Ayame began to dance in a way it took all of Synphy's and Rain's efforts to keep Yuki from running off with a knife.

"They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps
In the back and in the front."
"She's got me spendin'."
"Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me."
"She's got me spendin'."

"Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me."
"What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
"I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump"
"What you gon' do wit all that?
All that inside that shirt?"
"I'ma make, make, make, make you work
Make you work, work, make you work."
"She's got me spendin'."
"Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me."
"She's got me spendin'."
"Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me."
Then there was a disturbed silence.
Yuki said "I'm disturbed. Mentally scarred. Well, more than I already was."
Kyo jumped on the stage. "My turn! HAHAHA I shall beat you all!"
Yuki rolled his eyes. "Just hurry up, you stupid cat."
"SHUT UP!"
THE music starts and Kyo finally realises what song he's singing.
Kyo said, "Wait a min---Oh, forget it."
Then in a very purtyful voice, he sang, "Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha, don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha, don't cha

Fight the feeling
Leave it alone
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly
You have to play fair
See, I don't care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha, don't cha , baby
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha, don't cha

I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind

See, I know she loves you
I understand
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime
Possibly
Until then, Oh friend you're secret is safe with me

Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Don't cha, don't cha
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Don't cha, don't cha"
There was more silence and everyone makes faces like this o.O
Synphy was stairing. "Did...Kyon-Kyon just..."
Rain replied, "Yeah..."
Synphy yelled, "THAT WAS WRONG! THAT WAS GROSS! YOU STRIPPER!"
"He's wearing another shirt..." Rain reminded her.
Synphy said, "Oh, yeah, right."
Momiji jumped up and down and pulled Synphy. "Our turn, our turn!"
Synphy jumped on the stage Kyo-styled, then fell down. She got up and aid, "Okay!"
THE music starts and Momiji and Synphy start a bad attempt at dancing like the people in the "Hips Don't Lie" music video.
Momiji sang in a weird voice, "Ladies up in here tonight
No fightin', no fightin'
We got the refugees up in here
No fightin', no fightin'

Shakira, Shakira

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira"
Synphy, who was dancing like a maniac, sang badly, "Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection."

Momiji sang in a now purtyful voice, "Hey Girl, I can see your body movin'
And it's driving me crazy
And I didn't have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancin'

And when you walk up on the dance floor
Nobody cannot ignore the way you move your body, girl
And everything so unexpected - the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shaking it

I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira"

"Oh baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

And I'm on tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel you boy
Come on lets go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es perfecto

Oh I won't deny my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
All the attraction, the tension
Don't you see baby, this is perfection
Shakira, Shakira

Oh boy, I can see your body moving
Half animal, half man
I don't, don't really know what I'm doing
But you seem to have a plan
My will and self restraint
Have come to fail now, fail now
See, I am doing what I can, but I can't so you know
That's a bit too hard to explain"

Then they both sang, "Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día

Baila en la calle de noche
Baila en la calle de día."

Momiji, who was high off of air, jumped and hugged Synphy, changing into a rabbit. "I never really knew that she could dance like this
She makes a man want to speak Spanish
Como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa
Shakira, Shakira

Synphy, holding the rabbit, sang, "Oh baby when you talk like that
You know you got me hypnotized
So be wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body

The bunny sang, "Senorita, feel the conga, let me see you move like you come from Colombia."

Synphy, mispronouncing almost every word, tried to sing, "Mira en Barranquilla se baila así, say it!
Mira en Barranquilla se baila así"

The Momiji-bunny sang, "Yeah
She's so sexy every man's fantasy a refugee like me back with the Fugees from a 3rd world country
I go back like when 'pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
I need a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us?
Colombians and Haitians
I ain't guilty, it's a musical transaction
No more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas 'cause we own our own boats."

Synphy, dancing like a maniac escaped from a mental place, sang, "I'm on tonight, my hips don't lie
And I'm starting to feel you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto

Oh, you know I won't deny and my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel it's right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection"

Momiji finished, "No fightin'
No fightin'"
Even More Silence!
Synphy said, turning red, "That felt wrong. I'm sure it looked it."
Rain nodded. " Yeah, it did."
Yuki still hadn't recovered from Ayame's singing. Too bad Rain had the knife.
Ayame said, "Awwwww, does Momi-chan like Syn-chan?"
Shigure nodded. "I think so."
Momiji, still a bunny, climbed on Synphy's sholder. "Not like that! Syn-chan, they're scaring me."
Kyo nearly slapped him. "YOU IDIOT! You're just encouraging them!"
Shigure said, "He's right, you know."
The awesome Announcer announced, "And that concludes this interview-less episode of the INTERVIEW WITH THE ZODIAC...I MEAN, SOHMAS! YAY!"

Author's note: And so ends this ...interesting... chapter. In case you were confused at the end of Kyo's performance, he wasn't wearing his top shirt (he was wearing an undershirt). So yeah, that's all! Buh-bye! Waives