What we don't wish to see
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha
The night was so calm, and the moon proudly lit the sky above. But down on Earth in a village in the Musashi domain, a celebration of Tanabata was currently taking place.
The holiday in which two lovers make their journey across the galaxy and meet once a year, the only thing that can stop them is if it rains, but fortunately the sky seemed just as clear as ever.
Cheerfulness and love seemed to be everywhere, even Miroku and Sango seemed to be more open about their feelings towards one another lately. Shippo had yet found another crush to keep him busy so he was not excluded either from the celebration, in fact the two were happily jumping around with tiny bamboo trees with poems attached to it, and laughing and dancing to merry music, and in the village river floated many lantern boats glowing brightly like fireflys.
Chants of "Sasa no ha sara sara Nokiba ni yureru Ohoshi-sama kira kira Kin gin sunago!"
Rang into the night as the villagers adorned in their best attire watched with their wives and husbands, as their children celebrated the joining of Orihime and Hikoboshi making their way across the milky way or river of stars.
Everyone in the village seemed to be at their happiest enjoying all the activities and having as much fun as they possible could, all except one who was currently writing.
July 7th
Today in Kaede's village we are celebrating Tanabata and everyone seems so excited! It's like Valentine's day back home! Home…it's been quite awhile since Inuyasha has let me go, but luckily for me this holiday isn't celebrating in my time for another month, hopefully Inuyasha will let me go.
Speaking of which I haven't seen him for a few hours and I'm really getting worried…let's not discuss that though.
Anyway, Miroku and Sango seem to be hitting it off real good tonight! (For once!) and I haven't heard one slap sound once!
(Inuyasha where are you?)
I've got to stop thinking about him, he doesn't care about things like this so he probably is hiding away from all the crowds, he never liked too much company, yeah that's it that PROBABLY is why he isn't here (and didn't tell us where he was going or what he was doing)
Kagome sighed heavily as she closed her 'Happy book'.
'Why am I sitting here like this and writing about a whole bunch of sad things? In a book I made a firm decision to write out all the good moments I had of Inuyasha or other random things, so I could look back on them when I'm down.'
Kagome took another glance at the activities that were happening before her and wondered why she wasn't out there joining them. Then reality struck and she realized that she really had no one to celebrate it with, sure her friends were there but THEY had SOMEONE to themselves to celebrate the holiday with. Kagome was hoping that maybe just maybe Inuyasha would be there at least, even if he was in a sour mood she'd enjoy at least trying to cheer him up like she always did but no, now she was the one who was sulking, sulking over something she knew that would happen.
'Maybe I should just go home.'
Kagome got up from her spot and made her way towards the forest, she no longer feared demon's coming out and attacking her because after all that she's seen it took a lot to scare her, but that didn't mean she didn't constantly live with fear. Fear of seeing and feeling, pain, pain that's inflicted either by the claws of the one she so deeply cares for, or the sight of seeing him being pulled into a void in which he'd never return from worse he'd go down with her.
Kagome began to breath more because she felt tears swelling up in her eyes and promising a down pour that would most likely reach Inuyasha's nose, she didn't want that to happen, Kagome sucked it up and kept walking.
Then almost to soon the old dry well came into view, for a moment Kagome remembered the first time she had climbed out, confused yet amazed at the same time because of the beauty of the landscape, but then not two minutes later was the first time she had caught a glimpse of him.
Pinned to a tree in a rather painful position but looked peaceful all the same, but what caught her attention the most about the strange boy was what else? His ears. The first AND ONLY time she was able to message them to her full potential without a scolding.
Kagome chuckled at the memory and decided to write that one down when she got back. Kagome leaped into the well, for once with nothing weighing her down, except the small book which was tucked under her arm.
"Whew glad that's over!"
Kagome sighed as she climbed out of the well then walked silently across the court yard, until the sliding door came into view, she put her hand on it to get in but then in the distance, the sacred tree stood in the distance seeming to be calling to her, Kagome had no idea why but she walked over to the tree, the first thing she noticed was the scar in bedded in the tree, the place that would forever mark the hanyo's once ever present body.
'Cold hearted bitch! She only cares about her revenge on Naraku and dragging Inuyasha to hell with her, how selfish when she doesn't even love him!'
'Inuyasha's too blind to see that.'
Kagome began to ideally rubbing her soft skin against the spot, a strange feeling filled her body and she closed her eyes for no particular reason, as some blurry yet clear images came to mind.
"Kikyo? Kikyo?"
Inuyasha said as he wandered around the forest looking for his companion.
"Inuyasha is that you? Come down I have something for you!"
Inuyasha gracefully leaped out of the tree and landed in perfect form in front of Kikyo who stood for a moment just taking his image in as she for moment was taken over by the beauty of Inuyasha's body.
Then she began to feel guilt the object she hid in her sleeves seemed deceiving and tainted just sitting on her hands, then quickly began to think of what to tell him.
"Inuyasha come with me!"
Kikyo said out of no where.
"What? I thought you said you had something for me!"
"I do now just come on!"
Kikyo said with more energy and sincerity in her voice then usual, Inuyasha noticed this and though it must really be good.
The two walked for about 5 minutes until Kikyo pulled some bushes aside to reveal a huge lake that had many ever green trees in perfect rows on the other side, but the site was breathe taking enough because they were on a hill, and the sun was setting. Inuyasha stood awe struck at the site for a moment before glancing back at Kikyo who smiled a small yet sweet smile back, and for the rest of the evening the two sat silently enjoying each other's company while watching the scenery.
When Inuyasha wasn't looking Kikyo took the rosary out of her sleeves and threw it into the forest, hoping to never see it again. But unknown to her it hit a little girl dressed in a plain orange kimono.
"OUCH!"
The girl shouted as she began rubbing her head because of the sharp pain the sharp 'tooth' of the rosary had inflicted upon her sensitive head.
"What's this?"
The girl examined the rosary closer, she had been currently been practicing her arrow skills hoping to be as good as her sister someday, she had the aim just right when it had hit her.
"Huh!"
'Isn't this sister's rosary that she was going to put on Inuyasha?'
The girl then began to think then sighed in relief.
'So she took my advice after all. That subjection wasn't the answer for trusting him, I'm glad that sister has changed her mind!'
The scenery had no switched to inside of Kaede's hut only it looked different, there were more things and decorations, and the atmosphere well seemed happier.
Kikyo sat in front of a mirror that she had been given as a gift from a grateful patron, she had no use for such things before but was now grateful she had been blessed enough to have one, as she carefully opened up the shell shaped container which held what would be her first 'lip paint' . Kikyo was nervous, nervous that she would look like a fool, or even worse a common whore.
She shuddered at all the images and wondered if she should do this. Kikyo came to a conclusion it was a gift from Inuyasha and for his sake she'd use it!
10 minutes after 'Careful' consideration she finally set foot outside the door, and all too soon a child came running up to her presenting her with irises as beautiful as the modern day Meiji shrine ones themselves.
"Kikyo-sama! I've brought you some flowers!"
Kikyo nervously approached the child, but her nervousness increased as she saw the child get a puzzled look on her face.
"Kikyo-sama? May I ask what is that stuff on your lips?"
Kikyo froze not sure if she should answer the child or not, if even the child though she had flaws that could mean big trouble for herself.
"It's uh…"
"Because it looks BEAUTIFUL ON YOU!"
Kikyo was shocked. She certainly wasn't expecting that but was grateful all the same.
"Anyway it doesn't matter, I'll see you later!"
The child handed the flowers to Kikyo and ran off in the opposite direction smiling, Kikyo breathed a sigh of relief, but took a moment to sniff and observe the flowers the child had given her, they were indeed unusually beautiful.
'Maybe I shall give these to Inuyasha, hopefully he'll take care of them.'
Kikyo wandered around looking for Inuyasha, she knew he'd probably find her first because of his acute sense of smell and hearing, but her hearing was just good enough to hear commotion in the distance as a cloud made up of demons hovered above, Kikyo knew that this meant trouble and stowed the flowers away and ran to get her bow and arrow.
Not a moment too soon after she'd retrieved her defense weapons had Inuyasha showed up to fight along her side.
"Inuyasha you you came!"
Inuyasha snorted a reply.
"HEH! 'Course I would! Why would you have any doubts?"
Kikyo smiled to herself and replied "No reasons."
"Good c'mon let's destroy these weaklings and get this over with."
Kikyo nodded in agreement and aimed at the sky, she got several demons from one shot then the same after the next, until she heard Inuyasha cry out in pain as one pierced his skin with it's fang, Inuyasha fell to the ground with a loud thud.
"INUYASHA!"
Kikyo screamed but on her way quickly aimed at the demons, including the one that had injured Inuyasha, he was no match for her arrow and dissolved.
"Inuyasha! Inuyasha please…wake up!"
Inuyasha was laying on the ground motionless for a few moments, but Kikyo's touch had purified the poison in Inuyasha's body, but that still left him pretty weak.
Several villagers gathered around them and Kikyo instructed them to carry him to her hut.
Kikyo tended to Inuyasha all the time he was asleep, until the next day he woke up and saw Kikyo sleeping on the floor next to him, he smiled and stroked her cheek in a gentle way.
Kikyo woke up from the contact and smiled because he had awaken.
"I knew you wouldn't let anything happen to me. Thanks Kikyo!"
"I…uh your welcome!"
Kikyo was shocked at his behavior but figured it was because he was delirious and then he fell unconscious again after, Kikyo kissed his cheek before he feel completely asleep, she saw after a small smile fixed on his face as he peacefully rested.
The images began to play faster, Inuyasha and Kikyo entertaining the village children, Inuyasha watching from a distance as Kikyo conducted a ceremony, Inuyasha standing outside of a hut as Kikyo was doing her part as the mid wife for a villager.
Then all of the sudden the images slowed down until it showed Inuyasha and Kikyo facing each other and talking about a very familiar story that involved the Shikon jewel and wishing on it for Inuyasha to become human.
After that flashed by a very high fire was lit in the middle of the village, the same girl in orange was mourning silently while tossing various objects into the fire. Just then an immense pink glow emitted from the flames and everyone stood back in terror but as soon as it came it was gone so were the flames, for after it came the flames instantly vanished along with the light, and all that was left was a pile of ash which the little girl began to gather up in a small jar.
While carrying it away she said silently to herself.
"My sister has now crossed over, that light was proof of doing so."
As if waking up from a dream Kagome felt odd just standing there, it felt as if she had been for hours, but her hand was still in the same spot on the tree, for questionable reasons, that even she couldn't answer at the moment, but then everything came back quickly but not too quickly.
"Inuyasha…"
July 8th
I'm not sure but I had kind of freak show last night, I saw what appeared to be memories that the tree seems to have been 'storing' inside it's self for a long time.
I feel so bad right now for saying those things about Kikyo, I know now that she truly does love him, and I think I'm selfish for harboring such thoughts and getting upset and jealous about Inuyasha always going off to see Kikyo, no wonder they've so many wonderful memories together while I've only a few, few enough to be able to count, while there's are almost impossible to count, maybe I'm kidding myself for being in love with him, it's never going to happen I now know how special there relationship was, compared to mine with him, ours is nothing, and I just feel so sad right now, but I'm only human when he goes off to see her I can't help but feel these things.
Screw the 'Happy book' this is now a record of all events.
I'll have to go back and apologize to the other's for leaving without telling anyone wonder how Inuyasha will rea…
Kagome didn't finish her sentence for she saw a certain red cloaked sliver haired hanyo standing outside of her window staring with his intense golden stare.
"Why did you leave last night!"
"I uh…"
Inuyasha began to frown because she was stuttering.
"You WHAT! You'd better not lie to me!"
'What should I say! I can't just tell him I ran off because I was upset that he didn't show up!'
"I well…missed my family a lot since it was Tanabata in your era last night and I…suppose I just wanted to be with the people who love me, I guess I felt left out yesterday."
The hanyo only stared at her, with one of his famous You-can't-see-what-I'm-thinking stares.
"I'm…sorry I know the reason sounds stupid but when no one's around to love you, you…get lonely."
Kagome didn't look at him, she didn't want to look at him, she knew he'd retort something smart or something that would most likely cause her to either sit him or make her cry, so she remained silent.
'I'm telling him half of the truth at least, the other he dose not need to know, it's not like he wouldn't understand anyway.'
Kagome was fidgeting a lot with her fingers, she thought this would be a dead give away that she was lying but surprisingly, all Inuyasha gruffly said was,
"Fine let's just go."
With silent dismissal he said he'd wait outside and leaped out of the window.
Kagome went in the bath room to make her self look suitable, and then stocked up on a few supplies, when she came face to face with him again she looked down and silently walked into the shrine which held the bone eater's well.
The time void felt soothing, for her at the moment because she felt weightless and that sensation was a nice one at the moment for some strange reason, until gravity ruined it for her, then she began to worry if she needed to loose weight but then dismissed it as nonsense considering the fact that she probably got more 'exercise' then most people have had in their life times.
The walk to the village was even more silent if possible until, Inuyasha had one of his famous out of nowhere temper fits.
"GRR Damn it Kagome! What the hell is wrong with you!"
Kagome turned around and gave him a confused expression.
"Don't play dumb with me! You exactly what I mean! Don't think I didn't see you messing with your fingers back there! That's always s a give away that your lying! Now tell me the truth, the WHOLE truth!"
'At least he knows I wasn't lying to him about the first part, wait why does he need to know more! Why should he care!'
"I don't know what you mean by the 'whole' truth Inuyasha I told I went home to be with my family was that not enough for you?"
Inuyasha was about to retort but then stopped because of Kagome's cool remark.
"So what if there's more!"
Inuyasha stood there silently seeing how far she would go.
"I mean why should you care! It really doesn't matter nor is it essential to finding the shards, or did you forget that's why you let me stick around? I really don't see my reason for going back for just a day caused such a dent in the mission, or am I that important or are you just really stupid?"
"Stupid that you can't go a day without your precious shard detector to wad on your every command and to cook for you?"
Inuyasha was shocked at how cold she sounded, Kagome saw his expression, but assumed he was just thinking of a come back.
"Whatever it doesn't matter that's all I'll EVER be, a shard detector who's feeling don't matter, and will have no importance after this is all over, and will possible be tossed aside like garbage."
She didn't notice Inuyasha walking closer and closer until she felt a hand cup her chin, and when she looked up she saw Inuyasha with 'That look' in his eyes the look which was when he was looking through her, a look meant for Kikyo not her.
"Kagome….please tell me what's wrong I don't like seeing you like this."
'No you don't like seeing HER like this. You don't see me you see her.'
Kagome eyes began to water and tried her hardest to hold them back, she didn't want to cry in front of him in the state he was in. But her attempts were in vein as she saw Inuyasha's eyes grow softer at seeing her tears, she cried more when he began trying to wipe them up.
"Inuyasha….Stop it…please just stop it."
"Kikyo…"
Inuyasha said with sadness in his voice, until he realized what he had just said.
That did it, Inuyasha had put a comforting hand on her at the moment, she pushed it away with much anger.
"Kagome I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that! I really mean I really do want to understand what's the matter with…"
"NO YOU DON'T YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND HER! WHICH I DON'T KNOW HONESTLY WHO COULD, SINCE SHE'S HELPED HER MORTAL ENEMY AND TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US AND YET YOU STILL RUN AFTER! I'M TIRED OF DEALING WITH YOU AND YOUR CRAZY EMOTIONS, SO..JUST…JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Kagome ran as fast as she could into the forest not thinking or caring where she was going.
"KAGOME WAIT!"
Kagome still continued running until she was out of his sight, he was about to follow her when, Sango Miroku and Shippo came into view.
"Inuyasha where's Kagome at have you seen her?"
Inuyasha sighed heavily and thought there was no point in lying to them.
"Yeah she ran off crying and I was about to go after her when you three came!"
He added the last part with venom.
"Why was she crying!"
Sango demanded.
"Because…I don't know I tried asking her what was wrong but she wouldn't tell me."
He decided not to tell them that he said Kikyo's name.
"That's it then she just ran off when I continued asking."
"Hmm I think that there is indeed a deeper problem going on with Kagome right now, but I'm not sure if your exactly the one who's suited to solve it."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHY THE HELL NOT!"
"Because…well you tend to make her worse sometimes and…"
"I don't have time for this! I don't care what you say I'm going after her and you can't stop me!"
With that Inuyasha sped off and followed Kagome's scent.
Kagome meanwhile was continually running but she didn't notice a patch of grass that obviously indicated a hole and fell right through, but she was surprised when she didn't stop instead she felt herself sliding down what literally felt like a slide only ten times funner and a little faster.
Kagome slid out of the darkness and noticed herself slide by some beautiful scenery and she finally landed on the ground but luckily the landing wasn't too hard.
'What the…'
Kagome took in her surroundings, as she saw a beautiful lake in view and then the nature that surrounded it, she never knew there was a lake that big around here but she had no idea how far she had gone so maybe it wasn't close to the village.
Kagome wondered around the place, by the time she decided to rest it was dark outside and she figured she'd have to stay here the night since she had no idea where she was and didn't think it would be wise to wonder off into the woods at night.
But she wished she had a warmer sweater then she did now because she was a bit cold.
'Inuyasha would've offered me his kimono….why am I thinking about that jerk right now he's the reason why I'm lost.'
You ran off because you didn't want to face him, you know you love him.
A voice inside of Kagome said.
'Of course but there's no point in going back right now, I did what I did now I have to suffer the consequences, I didn't mean to be so hard on him I mean she is after all always on his mind, and I do look like her.'
Kagome stood above the water and examined her reflection, then anger welled up inside of her as she kicked the water and did anything to disturb the water from showing it again, but it came over and over again.
'Maybe if I cut my face then he'll be able to tell the difference.'
Kagome had a knife in her pocket and looked at herself once again in the blades reflection, she wasn't to sure about what she was going to do but all she wanted was to be recognized as her own individual self, and not be seen as just a 'copy' of Kikyo, slowly she rose the blade in the air but was quick when she lowered it.
Inuyasha stopped he smelled blood, Kagome's blood, he rushed faster then ever from that point.
"Awww!"
Kagome had stabbed herself but had missed her intended target and dug deep into her shoulder instead where she was bleeding heavily, she was lucky she had missed her heart.
'Great now every demon within a mile is going to smell me!'
All of a sudden Kagome heard rustling in the bushes, it was a weak demon but in the state she was in she couldn't fight.
It growled at her but just as soon as it had came it dissolved.
"WIND SCAR!"
"Kagome!"
He spotted her bloody form, Kagome acknowledged him by looking at him.
"KAGOME! ARE YOU ALRIGHT WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!"
Kagome stayed silent and looked at the ground which she saw Inuyasha jumping up and down from all his ranting and she didn't know why she found it humorous, she thought that to this point she was definitely delirious.
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!"
Kagome began giggling softly, she really had gone nuts because she lost a lot of blood and wasn't in exactly the most stable emotional mode right now.
"Inuyasha….funny….I..sleepy…night..night…"
Kagome fainted on her side, Inuyasha scooped her up in his arms and carried her bridal style the whole way back, he wrapped her up in his haori to keep her warm and to cover up the wound.
The next thing Kagome knew she had 4 worried faces standing above her, excluding Inuyasha who was currently sitting in the corner looking a little disturbed and in deep thought.
Kagome sighed and laid back down.
'He probably got impatient over watching me, I mean who wouldn't? I'm nothing to look at.'
Not a moment too soon later the silence was broken by everyone's questions.
"Are you alright Kagome?"
"Kagome how are you faring?"
"MOMMY I WAS SO WORRIED!"
Kagome began to get a headache from all the comments and questions, and to prove her point she tucked her head down, because she had sat up then she roughly began rubbing her forehead.
Kagome shocked them all by just getting up despite her condition, she left the hut without a word, before anyone could react however Inuyasha was already out the door.
Kagome didn't bother hurrying, she knew Inuyasha was following her, but she decided to ignore him, because at the moment she wasn't interested in anything he had to say, she had seen it all.
Yesterday:
"Uhhh…"
"Kikyo! Are you alright?"
Kikyo seemed to look a little woozy from the boat ride across the river, they had been in it for more then an hour and she was probably just getting her land legs back again but then he smelt some wood cut it's way into her skin creating an awfully painful splinter.
Inuyasha was hesitant to touch her so he used the stick he was paddling with down the river to break her fall, she gasped and looked up, stared into his ever intense golden gaze, so many things that even a powerful person like her couldn't decipher, all she could do was follow what her heart told her, which she didn't often rely on because half the things she did weren't in her will, or at the top of her list of things I'm crazy about doing.
"Huh?"
Still staring into his gaze she felt herself being drawn to those eyes, she felt an uncontrollable need to be closer, discover the unknown, decipher a never ending mystery, find the missing piece to the puzzle. Slowly the two became closer and closer until the distance was reflected in the water that the space between them had been closed, and didn't look to be reopening soon.
Inuyasha and Kikyo had actually kissed, made not of hate, lust or vengeance but out of the most purest emotion known as love.
Kagome just couldn't face him right now, she wasn't ready and she was afraid that somehow he'd discover she knew about his 'Unspeakable past' what she had seen was always an off limits no forbidden topic, and if brought up dire consequences would always surely follow.
Kagome had ignored him for roughly 15 minutes and was amazed at herself because normally one would be disturbed by having another stare at one not to mention follow for an extended period of time without snapping or lashing out at them.
But Kagome had found out a long time ago that this is exactly what he wanted.
This time however the silence was broken by him, both were completely oblivious as to where they had walked to.
"Kagome! KAGOME!"
Still no answer.
"Kagome STOP! Please!"
'Please? Wow that's a first from him!'
But that still didn't stop her, she had seen way to much for her comfort, she had even seen their first meeting as to when Inuyasha was human and was speaking to a barely conscious Kikyo, before running from the sight of the villagers.
'So that's how he met her.'
But she was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt two warm strong arms wrapped around her waist, offering much warmth.
"Oh Kagome…."
Inuyasha said silently.
It was a few moments before Inuyasha spoke.
"Kagome…for whatever I've done I'm….sorry."
Kagome had stopped breathing, Inuyasha became worried and turned her to face him, with much concern occupying his eyes as well.
What Kagome had heard was just to shocking. Was this the same hot headed rude arrogant selfish ego-maniac hanyo that she knew? Or was this all some sick twisted prank?
That didn't mean however that Kagome wasn't touched in a very gentle and sensitive spot in her heart, a place which always brought her to tears, and as hard as tried her attempts were in vein, the flood gate holding her tears back broke instantly seconds later letting the river of her tears flow freely leaving neat trails that glistened in the moonlight along her rosy cheeks.
Sensing her tears long before they came Inuyasha drew Kagome closer to himself, a silent assurance that he was there for her and wouldn't leave her when she was in a sensitive state. Kagome gripped his haori tightly and held on to him for dear life as her body shook from all the sobs and tears that her eyes had been so longing to shed and free themselves from the pressure.
Inuyasha remained silent and offered silent comfort as he tucked her head underneath his chin, in return resting his head upon hers, while his rough yet gentle hands were securely wrapped around Kagome's waist.
Inuyasha for a moment took in his surroundings and realized to his amazement that he was in the same spot where Kikyo and himself had shared….their first kiss, a memory that would stay with him forever but would not let get in the way at this time.
"Kagome….Please tell me, what has been bothering you to make you suffer so much."
Kagome could barely speak because of how hard she cried, but decided he deserved to know the truth but that didn't mean she wasn't reluctant to tell him.
"Inuyasha….I…."
"Yes?"
"That night we celebrated Tanabata, I felt so lonely because I had no one to be with on that night, so I decided to go home…but I promised myself I would return the next day!"
She finished quickly knowing that she didn't even know herself if it was true, Inuyasha remained silent indicating for her to continue.
"Then I visited Goshinboku and I began to get flashes of well….you and….Kikyo, I don't know what was going half the time but you two did seem happy and I now realize that she truly does love you and is not pretending because she is hungry for vengeance, but….the last one was of you and her kissing and I don't know I'm just not used to witnessing things such as that so I apologize for getting into your personal life I did not mean it."
"I'm so…sorry!"
Kagome began crying again, and Inuyasha began to try to calm her down once more. Seeing her in this state was only causing him more pain, but he had a question of his own, why had she inflicted the injury upon herself? He smelt the knife and knew she had did it to herself.
"Kagome….stop..crying…please…it hurts me."
Kagome began to cease sobbing but was still a bit shocked at his comment, but then another thought came into mind, she knew he'd ask why she had inflicted the wound upon herself, she wasn't quite ready to answer but knew she'd have no choice.
"Shhh Kagome……Kagome I need to ask you, and please don't lie to me because I smelled your scent on the knife you carry. Why did you injure yourself? Was it something I did or what? Please tell me…"
The look in his eyes showed desperation, sadness and pity. She didn't want his pity all she wanted was for him to recognize her as her own person, instead of being constantly compared to Kikyo.
"Ok I won't lie to you…I see I've hurt you enough as it by doing so…"
Inuyasha's eyes softened for a moment, Kagome was looking down so she didn't see, but continued a moment later.
"I wanted you to see me as my own person, and not always see me as another Kikyo, because truth be told I'm nothing like her and don't wish to be, but that doesn't mean I'm not envious of the feelings she holds for you and that it is she who holds your heart, but my intentions were to cut myself across my face so you'd easily be able to tell the difference then, but I became cowardly and missed and stabbed myself in the shoulder instead…."
She took a look at Inuyasha's face, he was apparently shocked and was taking her answer in.
"Now do you understand?"
"After all I saw between you and Kikyo it was to much for my heart to bear knowing that you two had actually had something, something way more special then we'll ever or I'll hope to ever have…..I'm sorry Inuyasha you didn't need to hear that, I know you love her, I don't need to burden you with my emotions, they….don't matter."
"I even saw you two talk about the possibility of having your first child….you would've been a great father…I wish you could've been happy with her, but I'm sorry your bonded to me, that's why after our journey is complete I will give myself up, so Kikyo can be whole once again and she shall no longer have to rely on the soul's of women, then you shall be free to love her and be…happy…something I'm not destined to have, but something that you are more then deserving of."
"Kagome…before I ask anything else…what exactly are you saying?"
Kagome looked up to him and smiled, which made Inuyasha's stomach flip.
"Because…I love you…I love you so much to give my self up so you'll be happy Inuyasha…that's why."
Inuyasha was at a complete loss for words but took the heavy hearted Kagome close to his body, closer then he had ever anyone else before.
"Kagome….why? Why would you think that I would want the person why brings a smile to everyone's face even when there hearts are weeping including me to die? Why would I want you to give up your life when you've got so much hope and opportunity ahead of you just for the sake of my former lover.?"
Kagome stood in his arms, barely moving.
"What does he mean 'former' lover?"
"Kagome…I could never ask of such a thing from you…."
Kagome at first thought he was just saying that because it was asking to much of her.
"Why not? It's what you've wanted for a long time right?"
"Kagome…at first yes it was. I wanted nothing more then to avenge Kikyo's death and possible leap into hell with her but then over time I began to appreciate the beauty and purity of your kind and loving nature, which healed me of my deep wounds and gave me the opportunity to open to others and learn to trust and….love another."
"Kagome….you…are the only thing in my life that I breath, eat, laugh, cheer, live and yes would die for, you are the only reason and point in my life otherwise I'd be an empty shell doomed to that damned tree for all eternity, but you gave me another chance despite me trying to kill you just because you looked like someone I once loved, but even then you still cared for me and that's how I came to love you!"
Kagome had the strong urge to slap herself and make sure it wasn't some sick joke or dream but she was pretty sure it was real, for several minutes all she could hear was Inuyasha's intense breathing as he held her, after his outburst, he needed to rest his voice for a moment so Kagome could take in what he had said.
"Kagome…"
Inuyasha said while cupping her chin making her look up at him, the look in his eyes was almost unbearable to Kagome, she thought she'd never get out of the trance that his eyes had now bestowed on her.
As if in slow motion Inuyasha's face came closer to hers until Kagome tripped on a rock and fell even closer to him, this gave him easier excess, and soon enough as if this were deja-vu he closed the space in between himself and Kagome, which wasn't that big to begin with, this felt so familiar and so right, but for a brief moment he remembered doing the exact same thing to Kikyo but then dismissed it, this moment he was sharing with Kagome was more special and loving, the love indeed this time seemed more sincere.
As Inuyasha gave her a soft yet binding kiss, his lips felt like moist soft cushions of silk, of the most delicate kind, then hers felt like everything he had ever dreamed of ever since he had first imagined doing this with Kagome when he had first realized his love for her. He had been so afraid to admit his feelings toward her, afraid that the only person who showed sincere kindness and care would push the limits and she'd turn his back on him, rejecting him because of three cursed words 'I love you' but yet words that were so true to anyone's ears, but now he knew by her response back to him that he wouldn't have to worry about rejection.
Soon Inuyasha began concentrating more on wordlessly asking for entrance, it didn't take long before she got the hint and let his tongue slyly yet gently slither around the roof of her mouth then work it's way down words, and meeting the muscle in which helped in projecting Kagome's beautiful voice. He felt proud at the moment that his tongue had had this opportunity to be acquainted with her delicate one. Soon enough her mind became his and his mind became hers as things began to get more serious, Inuyasha later begged for entrance in other places other then her mouth. As the night dragged on, only the stars and the moon a witness as to what went on between the two lovers, they exchanged the vows to be together no matter what happened, Inuyasha had enough energy left in him to mark Kagome, as a sign that'd he always love and care for her as long as he lived, no death wouldn't even stop him, the bite was both painful and soothing at the same time, but all the same Inuyasha had just spilled his heart and soul into Kagome at that moment, and now whatever Inuyasha felt Kagome felt as well.
The two soon strode peacefully into the forest, both reluctant to go back to the village, they decided to camp out in the sacred tree, both knowing they'd keep each other safe and warm.
Kagome laid on Inuyasha as if he were a human cradle, Inuyasha supported Kagome's head like he would a baby's and rocked her like one too, Kagome snuggled closer to him for warmth and gripped his haori, Inuyasha saw the sign and realized Kagome was still a bit cold, and removed his kimono and wrapped it around Kagome's entire body like a blanket, which luckily his kimono was big enough for her whole body, Kagome gave a satisfied sigh and drifted off to sleep.
Inuyasha stared for a long time at her sleeping form before muttering.
"You are mine! Your finally mine! Mine to cherish and love forever and for always!"
"Inuyasha…"
Kagome murmured before falling back asleep, Inuyasha smiled and assumed she was talking in her sleep like always.
'Dreamin bout me again are you Kagome? Too bad I'm much sexier in real life!'
"I love you Kagome Mwah!"
Kagome leaned up and kissed him back, then collapsed back in his lap, the years that would follow would bring many happy memories and the two would live out the rest of there days together in love and happiness.
Something the two never dreamed of ever having but, not the dream had indeed come true.
For the longest time this was drifting in and out of my mind so I just had to write er…type it down (I've got terrible handwriting but love to write imagine that! Lol!)
Hope you enjoyed it!