Chapter One

Oliver Wood, the twenty-year-old teacher at Hogwarts. looked around the Great Hall for the first time in three years. A lot of the faces looked familiar. He was returning as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. There was one face that he didn't recognize. A girl in Gryffindor. She had long, light brown hair that reached the middle of her back and was talking to Ginny Weasley.

"Professor," Oliver started.

"Minerva," Minerva McGonagall corrected.

"Er... it feels weird calling you that. Can I just call you McGonagall?"

"Suit yourself. What is it, Wood?"

"That girl talking to Ginny Weasley at the Gryffindor table. Who is that? I haven't seen her around before."

"...Wood, you know that teacher-student relations are against the rules, right?"

"Please, Prof - McGonagall, I'm not going to moleste the girl. Who is she?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow to the table.

"Christina Garner. She is an American exchange student that came over the summer."

"Ah," Oliver said quietly and returned to eating his meal.

"You will be helping her catch up to Fifth Level DADA, Wood." Oliver spat out his pumpkin juice.

"You -cough- want me to help -cough- Garner catch up to FIVE YEARS of DADA!" he exclaimed incrediously. The whole Great Hall fell silent and stared at Oliver, who was quickly wiping off some of his drink that spluttered on Severus Snape's face.

"Well, yes," McGonagall said slowly. "Your first session will be in..." she glanced at her watch. "Ten minutes." Oliver shook his head and stood up from the table.

"Fine. Five years... Five..." he muttered and walked to the Gryffindor table up to Christina and Ginny.

"Hello, Professor," Ginny greeted happily. Oliver raised an eyebrow at her.

"How long have you known me, Ginny? Ten years? No person in their right mind would want to be called a professor if they're twenty-years-old. Christina, McGonagall told me that I have to teach you five years of DADA, starting tonight. Meet me in the room in ten minutes. Ginny, if you could show her, that would be great."

"Sure, Oliver." He flashed the girls a smile and went back to Gryffindor Tower to get his wand. When he ran back to the DADA classroom, Christina and Ginny were already there.

"Um... professor-"

"Oliver."

"Oliver... um, I only found out that I was a with this summer, so I don't really have any expieriance-"

"Well, that's wht I'm here for, isn't it, Christina?" Oliver asked with a smile.

"Right, well, this is where I leave. See you in an hour, Chris," Ginny said and walked away.

"Okay, first thing you need to know is how to defend yourself. Repeat after me, protego."

"Protego," Christina repeated...

An hour later...

"Last duel. So far, you've learned how to block spells (protego), the stunning spell (stupifye), how to make your enemy grow more teeth (densaugeo), the swelling spell (engorgio), the dancing spell (tarentagella), the Impediment jinx, the fire curse (incendio), the disarming spell (expelliarmus) and the Waddiwasi spell (to make an object attack someone)."

"How am I doing?" Christina asked.

"Excellent," Oliver replied. "Position yourself... good. Three, two, one."

"Expelliarmus!" Christina yelled.

"Protego," Oliver said. "Faster, and don't always use -"

"Waddiwasi, ink bottle!" Before Oliver had time to react, an ink bottle came flying towards him. He stood there with his wand still pointing at Christina with ink dripping from his hair,brows and eyelashes.

"Thank you, Christina, I needed a new look," he said sarcastically. Christina laughed.

"Time to go," she said happily. Oliver shook his head and chuckled.

"No magical expieriance, you say?" They both went back to the Common Room together, where Ginny was talking rapidly with Harry Potter, Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas and her brother, Ron Weasley.

"So, then - Oliver, what happened to you?" Ginny asked. Oliver pointed at Christina.

"Her..." he said fiercly while wagging his finger at her.

"Well, oops," she said while placing her hand over her mouth innocently.

A month later.

"All right, team, let's wrap it up, the Quittich Game starts in half an hour and Ravenclaw's coming on the field," Harry called to his Quidditch team. Oliver was watching from the stands.

"Oi, Harry, keep in mind what I said in your third year!" he called. Harry looked up at him and fingered him. Oliver laughed and slapped the ledge jovially.

"Ah, no, no, NO! WEASLEY! FLY! FASTER!" Oliver yelled at Ginny, still from the teacher stands. "FUCK!"

"And the score is now thirty to twenty, Ravenclaw!" Lee Jordan (who failed his seventh year) bellowed into the microphone.

"Potter! I told you to remember what I said in your third year! DON'T BE A BLOODY GENTLEMAN! KNOCK CHANG OFF HER BROOM, IF YOU HAVE TO!" Oliver screeched. All the teachers stood/sat at least a foot away from him. Never be close to a Wood while he/she is watching a Quidditch game.

"Bloody hell, Sloper! Block those fucking bludgers! Don't let another one hit Garner! Look at her, you retard! She's bleeding all ov- my God! Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"

"Wood! I must-"

"Ah! Potter! Come on! Step your game up, Gryffindor!"

"Wo-"

"WEALSEY COME ON!"

"WOOD!"

"Yes, McGonagall?" Oliver asked pleasantly.

"Really, now, you aren't the captain of the Quidditch Team anymore, Oliver, and I don't think-"

"Oh, no, it's fine, Potter gave me permissi - NO! GOOD-FUCKING-GRIEF!"

"And Ravenclaw wins, 190-50," Lee said.