Pregnancy Problems
"Draco, love; are you alright?"
"Yes, yes, I'm absolutely spiffing. Just a second, love, I'll be with you in a moment, let me finish puking."
"Come on Draco, tell me what's wrong. You've been a bit off colour for a while. Do you have the flu or something?"
"No, you arse, I don't have the bloody flu. If you don't mind I would like to throw up in peace. Go talk to the dog or something."
"I need to talk to you about this. There's something going on and I want to know. Does this have to do with that potion you've been taking?"
"I only took it once."
"I didn't ask how many times you took it. I asked you what was going on."
"Well Harry, if you can't figure it out than it's not important. You're so intelligent, it mist be so horribly complex."
"What is with you! You are so mood-swingy. You…you must be…"
"Finally figured it out, have you? You're an idiot, Potter. Total idiot."
"You're…you're turning into a woman, aren't you? Why would you do this to me?"
"Idiot, Potter. It's not possible for me to become a woman. You've been…God, you're an arsehole."
"You sure are acting like a woman. I want to know what's wrong with you."
"Nothing. Like I said, I'm spiffing. Corking, even."
"Fine. You know what, I don't care. I don't care that you smell like sick, that you're fat, and that you're moody. Don't care. I'll just go."
"No. No love, don't leave. Do you really want to know?"
"Of course I don't. Did I mislead you by constantly asking you?"
"Sarcasm isn't your forte, Harry."
"And your opinion isn't appreciated."
"Please, please, please don't be angry with me. Please."
"What did you do? More importantly, why did you stop arguing with me?"
"Shut it Potter, I'm trying to beg you not to be angry. Pay attention."
"Just spit it out. What's wrong?"
"N-nothing is wrong. It's just…"
"Come out here, I want to look you in the eye."
"Why, because they're beautiful?"
"No. Because you're shifty. The only way I can tell that you're lying is if I'm looking right at you."
"Okay. Fine. Happy? Now you can look into my shifty eyes as I lie to your face."
"You're going to lie? Because if you are just going to bloody lie, I'll just…"
"Joking. Joking. I was just joking! Ha ha…"
"Well? Out with it."
"Promise me you won't freak out."
"I promise."
"And…and promise you won't hate me."
"Not any more than usual."
"Okay…well, what would you say if I told you I was pregnant?"
"I would probably question why and when you became a woman, and possibly make up a childish song in which I say over and over 'I told you so'."
"I am not a woman! Why does everyone say that? It hurts my feelings."
"Since when do you have feelings? Aww…love, don't cry. Please?"
"Well, I'm sorry if my crying upsets you."
"Draco, please love, just tell me…"
"I'm…I'm pregnant."
"Potion?"
"Yes."
"Harry-poisoning potion?"
"Yes."
"Mine?"
"No, it's Hermione's. Of course it is, you ponce."
"Oh."
"Are…are you all right?"
"N…"
"Shit. I'm the one who faints! Potter! Potter…"
End