Thank you all for your nice reviews. -Lia

Chapter Three: The Present

-----------

She missed him. More than she was willing to admit. Her nights were restless, her sleep filled with dreams about him. Her body and mind desperately craving the rest she could not offer. She slept in the tee shirt he had left behind after storming out from her quarters, finding only a small comfort from it.

Everything had changed. He no longer lingered behind after the briefings, just to spend even a little time alone with her. He didn´t join her out at the balcony late at nights when she stared out to the darkness. And no longer did she enjoy it like she had before. He disagreed with her only when he thought she was being wrong, not because he loved to argue with her before finally giving up.

No longer did she stand and watched them leaving in to the missions. They didn´t hear her ´Be safe´ just before stepping through the gate. She watched them leave from her office, whispering the words out to no one. She wasn´t welcoming them back home, a relieved smile on her lips.

He was miserable without her. Watching her when she didn´t pay attention, torturing him with the memories of her lying in his arms. It didn´t affect to his work. He had too much responsibly to allow himself to be reckless. They both did.

So it didn´t happen because he wasn´t paying attention, or that he was thinking about her. It was an ambush, a mission gone horribly wrong. Too many against the four of them. And it wasn´t because of her he sacrificed himself to give a few extra seconds to the other three of his team to escape, and being left behind himself. He did is because it was the only thing left for him to do.

And she hated him for that.

She had waited for days for him to come home. Her heart aching with fear of losing him every time the gate opened and the teams came through without him.

More days passed. And she was still waiting.

She was afraid of the day she would have to stop sending more teams through to look for him. No matter how many volunteers were in line just waiting for their turn.

She had refused to cry. Her dreams peaceful only because of the pills she took. Carson had ignored her objections. Pulled out the CMO card.

Then, without any warning, they stumbled through the gate, Major Lorne and Ronon supporting him between them as his wounded leg was ready to give out. And the words leaving her lips weren´t the declaration of her love to him.

"Take him in the infirmary." It was all she could think. And yet her order was needless as the medical team was already helping him.

She was pacing. And she stopped. Started again. Sighed with frustration. Looked carefully at the few other people who were waiting with her to see if they were feeling the same. They didn´t. They were worried over a friend they had thought was lost. She was in love with a man she had lost once already.

Carson explained them what he could. He had been hurt, beaten. But he was going to be fine. And she sighed with relief.

"You can go to see him now. But only a little while." The doctor´s words were meant to all of them, but he was looking at her.

She was about to shook her head. She didn´t want to see him. But she was expected to do so. And the hot tears burned in the back of her eyes when she watched him lying on the bed. But she didn´t cry.

It felt like only seconds she had to be with him alone behind the curtain. The others came to see him as well. And she stood where she had been standing the whole time, at the end of the bed. Not touching, only looking.

A few days passed and he was getting frustrated at the infirmary. He was being released soon after. "Take it easy, colonel. You are in no condition to return back to work just yet."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He was just relieved to get out of there.

He wasn´t going back in to his quarters. Despite that he had promised Carson and the others he would.

She was standing at the balcony, staring out to the ocean. Like he had expected her to be.

"Liz." It was the way he drawled out her name that made her heart beat a little faster. Always had.

She turned to look at him, and suddenly she was in his arms, her hands wrapped tightly around his neck. He held her tight, inhaling deep the sweet scent of her he had missed even before his capture. She pulled back only to crush her lips against his and the kiss was passionate and sweet and loving.

He groaned quietly against her mouth, his hands running along her back, touching, caressing. God he had missed her for so long.

They pulled apart for an air, and he looked at her softly. "Liz, I..." He was interrupted by her hand hitting against his cheek.

"You son of bitch." She raised her hand to hit him again but he stopped her.

"Stop it." He asked but she only tried to free her hand from his grasp. "Damn it, Elizabeth. Just stop it."

She let him held her tightly against him, hand letting go of hers, arms wrapping around her. "You left me." He heard her whisper. "And I thought you were dead."

"I´m sorry." He whispered. He was sorry for everything.

"Me too."

He brought his hands to cup her face and placed his lips gently against hers. So much was still needed to be said. But she wasn´t afraid of anymore.

People probably knew already, had realized it when he had been gone. And if they didn´t, they were most likely being told by those who watched them standing at the balcony, kissing.

And all was going to be just fine.

The End

-----------

Hope you liked this little fic of mine. My first John/Liz ever.

Now look down and see the lonely button... Thank you.