Chapter Five
"Hurry up, the carriage is about to leave!" Jacob yelled at Oliver and Christina. They jumped into the carriage just before the Thestrals (SP?) left.
"I see you got rid of the bats, Jake," Oliver said with a smirk. Jacob rolled his eyes and shot a poisonous look at Ginny.
"She got rid of them," he muttered.
"Sadly, you didn't inherit your father's brains. You got your mother's athletic... ness." Jacob mimciked him and ended with a 'shut up'.
"Let's head over to the Three Broomsticks first," Ginny suggested.
"...Huh?" Christina asked.
"It's basically a restaurant... or pub... or whatever..." Jacob trailed off. Christina glanced at Oliver. He was being awfully quiet. He wasn't paying attention to anything at all. He was just staring out the window.
"Hey," Christina said quietly and touched his hand. "Are you okay?" He gave her a small reassuring smile.
"I'm fine, don't worry about it."
"Be right back," Christina said and headed off to the washroom. Oliver sighed as she watched her retreating back.
"You have to tell her sometime," Jacob said as he watched his cousin hit his forehead against the table.
"NO!" Oliver yelled, sitting upright and making Jacob and Ginny jump. "No teacher-student relations allowed. I'd get sacked."
"You guys are going to a bloody dance together," Ginny pointed out.
"...Yeeeah, a teacher-student dance!" he exclaimed with an eyebrow raised.
"Come ooonnn, let's go," Christina groaned. Oliver yelped at the sound of her voice.
"What are you going as for Halloween?" Jacob asked Ginny. She shrugged. "You do know that it's already the twenty-eighth, right?"
"Yeah... so?" Jacob shook his head.
"Come on. Let's go to Malkin's Robes."
"Hey, who are you going to the dance with, Jake?" Oliver asked as they walked around Hogsmeade. They had already bought Christina's costume and Jacob's.
"Ginny," he said as he nodded his head towards Ginny and Christina, who were talking about five feet in front of them.
"Have you even asked her yet?"
"Oh... I guess that's a good thing to do. Gin! Wanna go to the dance with me?"
"Sure!" she called over her shoulder before laughing at something Christina said.
"So, what about you, mate?" Jacob asked Oliver.
"I don't know, maybe I'll go with McGonagall," he said sarcastically.
"You're a loser." Oliver looked at his cousin strangely.
"That was a little random, Jake, you moron."
"Gaylord." -Jacob
"Jerkoff." -Oliver
"Ass." -Jacob
"Faggot." -Oliver
"Ass kisser." -Jacob
"Ass licker." -Oliver
"Panzoot." -Jacob
"Biter." -Oliver
"Retard." -Jacob
"Bastard." -Oliver
"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Ginny and Christina shouted at the two boys. They mimicked the girls and stayed silent after that. Instead, they started pinching each other's arms. They soon got bored of that and started slapping each other's hands. Ginny, who had enough, walked up to Jacob and pulled him into a kiss. Oliver stared at them for a minute and walked away with Christina to Honeydukes.
"Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!" Oliver exclaimed, jumping up and down like a three year old.
"...Okay, Ollie, why don't you go play with wittle Colin over there?" Christina asked in a baby voice.
"No, but seriously! The chocolate here is the best." And with that, Oliver began asking for various kinds of choclate.
"Ol - Oli - Oliver, that's enough..."
"YOU CAN NEVER GET ENOUGH CHOCOLATE!" Oliver exclaimed, staring at Christina in horror.
"Yes, you can. Come on, let's go find Ginny and Jake."
"But I already see them," Oliver said as he chewed on a piece of chocolate. "They're over th- oh, ew... that's not exactly what I thought they were going to do..."
DIARY TIME WITH OLIVER!
HOGGSSSSMEEEAAADDDEEE! Too bad the day is soon to be over.
Yes, your lovely day alone with Christina is over.
Shut up, Jake, you little snot, and why are you writing in MY journal?
Your JOURNAL? I thought you had a Diary.
Does this look like a bloody diary, Jake?
Well, it's light blue...
Don't lie. It has a Puddlemere Logo on it!
Or so he says...
Really, now...
Stop invading my privacy! First Jake, and now you, Harry?
Well...
Yeah.
...I will now go and scream.
Well! Now that we got rid of him, let's see what he's written before.
Oliver likes CHRISTINA!
Oi, don't look back on my pages! Get out of my office.
We don't want to.
Yeah, it's so much fun reading your thoughts.
NO, it's NOT fun! Now, get. Out. Of. My. OFFICE! There we go. Alrighty, now that they're gone-
Alrighty? What the FUCK?
...Flint, go away.
I'd rather not.
...Why are you in the Gryffindor Tower in the first place?
I'm a professor. I can go anywhere.
Professor Flint? Well, that sounds a little gay.
I wouldn't talk about being gay if I were you.
You're fucked up.
Good for me.
You were dropped on the head as a baby.
Ten Fucked Up Things
By Marcus D. Flint
1) Dating
2) Marrying
3) Saying "I Love You"
4) Oliver Wood
5) My Father
6) Cho Chang (I mean, really, how many times?)
7) Cedric's Death
8) How The Fuck Nancy the Secretary is Still Living
9) Finding Your 'Inner Self' (What the hell is that?)
9.5) Trelawney
10) ME!
...Is that something to be proud of, Marcus?
Iunno, is it?
Why am I ranked number four and you ranked ten? I'm not as messed up as you are.
Eww, why's Flint here?
...I really should add "Ginny Weasley" onto that list... or maybe all the Weasleys.
Shut up. So, Gin, how was your little snog with my cousin?
Screw you.