Party Problems

"I am so excited."

"You should be. We're throwing you the party of the century. You don't have a birthday every day."

"And I'm thankful for that every day. I wasn't really excited, I was being sarcastic. Completely and totally sarcastic."

"But Daddy, parties are soo much fun! They've got candy and cake and toys and…me and Mummy worked very hard all days, you don't have to be scarsastic. What is scarsastic?"

"It's sarcastic, love. It means I was saying it, but I didn't really mean it."

"Daddy was being mean to me. He doesn't appreciate anything that I do. And he hates bunnies. And puppies."

"I wasn't being mean to your Mum, James. And I do appreciate him, I'm just nervous about the party. Also, I love puppies and hold no strong feelingseither way when it comes to bunnies."

"I want a puppy! Daddy, can I have a puppy for your birthday? I promise I'll take very good care of him and I'll play with him and love him."

"Maybe when you get a little older. Draco, could you possibly tell me the colour scheme of this party? Please don't tell me it's something flaming."

"Of course not. I got a rainbow table cloth and a lovely pink triangle-shaped cake. It should be the party of the century."

"You've already said that. And I hope you have time to change the theme. It's not appropriate for James."

"I like colours! They are pretty and I like them! I want some cake. Can we have cake? Why can't I have a puppy?"

"Too many questions, love. One at a time. You can't have any cake and you can't have a puppy. Draco, please tell me you were joking."

"Of course I am. Don't worry. I took into consideration your dignity. It's just a small party. I invited your friends and we'll just eat some cake and be all Gryffindorish and boring. James can open all of your presents and I'll give you your present from me later."

"Your present? Is it special?"

"Ooh, a special present! Can I open it too? Is it big? Is it a puppy?"

"You can't open it love, it's probably a present that isn't mean for little boys. It's for big boys."

"It's definitely not a puppy, James. Your birthday is coming, we'll see what you get. I'm not sure if I'm going to want to buy you anything since you insist on calling me mummy."

"He'll grow out of it Draco."

"Yes, I'll grow out of it, Dwaco."

"Don't call him Draco. He's your Mummy."

"Am not! Excuse me, but I have a certain triangular cake to pick up. I'm sure James would love to help you welcome guests and gather presents."

"I will hurt you if my cake is triangular. Be warned, Malfoy. Blood will be shed."

"It's not a triangle, Daddy. I helped pick it out. It's pretty and yummy because they gave me a little to test."

"Thanks Jamie. I knew Mummy wouldn't get me a cake I didn't like."

"Thanks for ratting me out, kid. That's the door. You should go get it James, I bet it is Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione. You can play with that horribly whiny son of theirs."

"Draco! I can't believe you said that! He's Jamie's friend!"

"He is pretty whiny, dad. He tattles on me all the time and I don't even do anything."

"That isn't completely true James and you know it. You do just as much as you don't. You are like your Mummy."

"I resent that. I don't do anything and you are constantly on me for reasons I am yet to discover."

"Yes, I'm the disciplinarian. I'm the only one who gets anything done. You should appreciate everything I do."

"We do, Daddy. That's why we are throwing you the party of the centamy. AND Mummy got you a very special secret present. He didn't even tell me."

"I'm looking forward to it."

"You damn right should be. It's a good present."

"Draco! Not in front of James!"

"Dalm right not in front of me!"

End