This one is just Harry and Draco, except for the little section in the middle that is James talking for his Harry and Draco dolls. You'll understand when you read it.

Playing Problems

"Take those from him"

"No, he likes them."

"Harry, you are scarring his childhood. You don't want to scar his childhood, do you?"

"Of course I don't. He's just playing, Draco. He's having fun. You wouldn't want to ruin that, would you?"

"That's why I told you to take them from him. Doesn't he have any proper toys to play with?"

"Those are proper toys."

"Not for a boy. Boys play with…err…cars and…what do boys play with?"

"I wouldn't know Draco, I didn't have any toys as a child."

"Rub that in a little more, make me feel bad. Why couldn't you have just bought something that looked like something you would have played with?"

"Because I let him pick out his toy and that is what he chose. He wanted two boys but they only had the one. Hence why that girl is dressed in boy clothes."

"Is he playing 'Mummy and Daddy'?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact he is. It's normal, in a sense. For a girl."

"What did I say? It isn't normal. Boys aren't meant to play with dolls."

"And families are meant to have a man and a woman. A Mummy and a Daddy."

"Lucky for Jamie he has both."

"Now you accept your Mummy roll?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"I suppose not. It was rather cute when he opened them in the car. I bought that extra outfit for him when he said, 'But Daddy, why don't they have my family?' and my heart broke."

"Remind me not to send you shopping with James anymore."

"I'm serious! I told him that our family wasn't like most of the other families but I could make our family if he wanted."

"So you bought a blonde girl and dressed it up like a boy?"

"Naturally. She's you."

"Is not! I'm the boy, you are the girl."

"You're his Mummy."

"So? I'm always the girl."

"Since when are you a girl? I must say, that's news to me."

"It is not! You call me a girl all the time!"

"So? I use the term affectionately. To be fair, neither doll has any bits."

"True, but that one has tits."

"That settles it then. You are a tit, so you are the girl."

"I am NOT a tit."

"Fine. The doll is blonde, so you are the girl."

"I…well…we'll ask James."

"He'll only tell you the obvious."

"Then we won't ask him. Let's just listen to what he is saying. That should tell us which doll is which."

"Fine. Let's eavesdrop on our son."

"Dwaco, I told you not to do that!"

"You did not. I hate you so go to your room."

"I don't want to and your face is howrid."

"You're a wankrer."

"Stop saying those no-no words while James is here."

"Yes, we had better stop because we love James the mostest out of everyone in the world."

"Yes, but I love you too and our family is so much better than any other families."

" Specially Weasel King and Gwanger and they whiny and annoying son who eats all of James' cookies."

"Yes. Specially them."

"Is that really what we sound like?"

"I…I guess."

"Oh well. At least I'm the boy."

"Shove it, Potter."

End